by Gina Kincade
How could I have been so stupid for so long?
“We had a lot of good times, Lachlan.”
“We had the best times, Keira. I was just too blind to appreciate them when we shared them.”
“And now?”
“Now, I know what they’re worth. And I’m going to value every second I spend with you.”
Keira meets my gaze over the table, the air between us intensifying with a charge I can taste. Her blue eyes spark with desire, and I feel my blood heat under my skin. Her fingers wrap around the stem of her wine glass, her breathing increasing with each passing second.
I inch forward, the collar of my shirt suddenly uncomfortable, my limbs feeling restricted in my own clothes. “Keira,” I nearly growl, my focus so intent on her that I don’t notice the server approaching.
“Your entrees,” he announces jovially, injecting humor into the heat passing between Keira and me.
We both spring back in our chairs, as Keira hides a chuckle behind her hand. Grinning at the server, she nods as he explains the way her sirloin filet has been prepared. Once he departs, we burst out laughing, and it’s like a bubble pops.
Gone is the strained uncertainty between us. My Keira, the one who showed me her vulnerability as equally as she did her strength, materializes once more. Her face is bright, her eyes wild, and a part of me falls a little more in love with her in this moment.
“You know, outside of my family, you’re the only person I’ve ever been able to be myself with,” I admit, cutting into my steak.
Keira pauses, her fork hovering between her plate and her mouth. Looking at me, a knowing expression ripples across her features. “Same for me, Lach. That’s probably why I held on so hard for so long. Being with you, it always felt like home.”
“I know what you mean. I finally feel like I am home.”
“The farm?” She snorts.
“It’s strange but the moment I drove up, it was like all these memories and moments from the past came back to me.” I pause, clenching the napkin in my hand. “I never had a real home the way you do. I mean, my mom and sister mean everything to me but we bounced around so much. It wasn’t until Mom married James that we gained some stability again and even then, it was split between the UK and the US.”
“Yeah, I know. It must have been hard.”
I shrug. “I just never had the same certainty for the future the way you did. Not in college anyway. It was difficult for me to imagine creating a family or a home. But now, being back, seeing Sisi with the baby, being with you again, I feel like I’ve wasted so much time avoiding what scared me that I almost lost it all anyway.”
“You didn’t lose anything,” Keira says softly, her brow furrowing as she studies me.
“I’m scared to lose you, Keira. And not only to Lorne Campbell but to all the distrust I’ve caused.”
The silence that stretches between us causes a coldness to sweep through my limbs, anxiety to wrap around my spine.
I’m too late.
She’s going to tell me I’m too damn late.
“I ended things with Lorne,” Keira finally says.
“What?” Relief swims through my veins, wiping out the coldness with unexpected heat. “When?”
“Yesterday,” She admits, taking another sip of her wine. “So this is it, Lach. We try this one last time. Otherwise, I need you to let me go and I need to move on.”
Nodding, I reach out, my fingers catching on her elbow and settling in the crease of her arm. “I’m not taking any chances, Keira. I will prove myself to you.”
“You better.”
Chuckling, I nod. “Whatever it takes, babe.”
“Good. Because I’m not moving to London.”
“Never.” I snort, knowing how out of place she would feel in the bustling city. “We will figure it all out, Keira. I swear it. For right now, say you’ll be my date to the Valentine’s Day gala?”
Keira smiles, a blush working over her cheeks. God, she’s beautiful. “I’d love to.”
“I’m going all out. All the cheesy, corny, cliché I can do.”
“You know I’m a sucker for romance.” She gestures to the elegant restaurant.
“Wear your best dress.”
“You can’t handle my best dress,” she shoots back.
Laughing, I nod. “I know. That’s why I’ll be peeling it off you before the night is over.”
Smirking, Keira polishes off her wine. “Finally, a Valentine’s Day I’ll enjoy.”
“I hope so. It’s my first one.”
Her mouth drops open, a laugh falling from her lips. “No way. You’re joking?”
“I’m not,” I admit. “I never cared about this stuff before. Valentine’s Day was just another day, a night to get piss drunk with Callum or tease Sierra about whatever her date had planned. This is the first time I celebrate. And, babe, I’m honored to take you to the gala. And I really can’t wait for your best dress.”
“What’s under it is going to be even better.”
I groan, scrubbing a hand over my face. “You just want to torture me with the visual, don’t you?”
“Payback and all that.”
I laugh, conceding her point. “I’m taking whatever you’re offering, Keira.”
“And if I offer it all?”
“Then you’ll be my forever Valentine.”
***
Once the scary bit, the part about our futures and being committed, the part I used to always avoid in the past, is out in the open, Keira and I dive into our date with our guards down.
“Try this sticky toffee pudding.” She holds her spoon out, and I lean forward, eating the bite.
“Jesus, that’s amazing,” I admit, licking my lips.
“It’s the best here,” Keira agrees, scooping another bite onto her spoon. “What’s it like? Living in London. Always traveling to America. To me, your life seems like one grand adventure.”
Peering at her, her blue eyes spark with curiosity. These are the conversations Keira and I always used to have. Ones about family and life, our passions and purpose. I’ve never talked to anyone about the things I discussed with her, and her genuine curiosity reminds me just how much she’s always cared.
“It is an adventure. I love traveling, seeing new places, meeting new people. And don’t get me wrong, it has been a lot of fun. But eventually, living in London or America or wherever is like living any place. It’s not so much about the place as it is about the people.”
“Do you miss your family?”
“More so than I ever thought I would. It’s different now that Sierra has the baby. I don’t want to miss Luna’s entire life.”
“Sierra’s in New York?”
“Yes, for now. But I think she and Denver will eventually move back to Georgia. That’s where he’s from, and he has two brothers. Sierra wants Luna to grow up around family. I think she’ll start spending summers and holidays here in Scotland. It’s hard being away for all of those good moments.”
“Callum’s in London,” Keira points out, mentioning my stepbrother.
“Aye. But he’s starting his own family now. He has an entire network in London, having spent most of his life attending school there. It’s different for me. Half Scottish, half Native American, US Citizen, living in London, with my family scattered around. I don’t want to just exist somewhere anymore. I want to live somewhere and build a home, create a family, look forward to a future.”
“Apple picking and horseback riding?”
Grinning, I nod. “Yeah, babe. Apple picking and horseback riding. But only with you.”
“So, we’re dating then?” Keira asks, and I can tell she needs clarification; she needs me to spell it out for her and give her the reassurances I’ve denied for too long. The moments of hesitation that keep popping up make me feel like a dick and I hate being reminded how much heartache I’ve caused this incredible woman.
“I’m yours, Keira Kearns. One hundred percent in. And by the first dance at the Valent
ine’s Day gala, you’ll be mine.”
“You’re pretty confident there, Begay.”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
Chapter Five
Keira
True to his word, Lachlan spends the next week wooing me.
Every morning starts with a new cheesy poem on the doorstep.
Flowers are delivered at random throughout the day.
Music lyrics peek out from under the windshield wipers of my car in the morning.
Nanna is loving the entire thing, clapping her hands and giggling like a schoolgirl.
Part of me, the logical part, can admit how ridiculous Lachlan’s flirty attempts to charm me are. Mainly, because I’m already so charmed I’m his. But the other part of me, the emotional side, is reveling in his attention and affections.
And laughing right along with Nanna.
Three days before the gala, Lachlan takes me to dinner, another new nightly ritual. He’s wine and dined me all over Edinburgh, kissed the cold from my cheeks, and stolen the breath from my lungs under snowy skies and twinkling town lights.
But tonight, it’s different. Tonight feels like the first time our temporary situation is slipping into something permanent. Into a future I’ve yearned for.
My body is in tune to every move Lachlan makes, the way his palm finds my thigh when I’m sitting in the passenger seat of his car, how he presses his fingertips into the small of my back when we leave the restaurant, and the scrape of his stubble against my cheek as he kisses me in front of my house.
For the past week, he’s been the perfect gentleman. Properly courting me. But tonight, I’m desperate for the feel of his hot skin against mine. It’s been nearly five months, and my body craves Lachlan like an artist yearns for his muse.
“Come to the cellar.” I unclip my seat belt, tugging on his fingers.
“The cellar? I like where your mind is heading.” Lachlan snorts but immediately unfastens his buckle and opens the car door.
Running through the cold night, I feel his presence shadowing mine. We slip into the farm’s shop, and I flip on the lights, letting the displays piled with baked goods and jams and honey surround us. I turn to glance at Lachlan over my shoulder and wiggle my eyebrows, leading him through a sliding barn door into the cellar.
We’re laughing, the sound musical as it echoes around the space. The first time Lachlan kissed me, when I was nineteen, it was here. In this tiny space pressed between the stables and a rarely used office.
With the renovation of the barn, the cellar has been transformed into the shop, offering customers jams and pies, baked goods, and preserves.
But this portion, a pantry type of space all the way in the back, is still shelved to the ceiling with jellies and jams and smells like berries.
The wine from dinner has made me more forward and I don’t care. For the first time in a long time, it feels good to revel in the moment, to enjoy the sweetness Lachlan is offering. To know that it’s not fleeting, but for real this time.
“Do you remember the last time we were here?” he asks, his frame crowding me against the wall. Tenderness lines his expression as he gazes down at me, his dark eyes burning.
I nod, recalling the kiss with perfect clarity. It was the night I knew a part of my heart would always beat for Lachlan Begay. Even if he didn’t want it, it was his.
But tonight, now, things are different. There’s a resolve in Lachlan’s expression, a sincerity in his tone. After spending countless hours together this week, talking and reminiscing and planning, I know that he’s finally giving me a piece of his heart, too.
His hands find my hips, tugging me flush against him. The warmth from his fingertips travels through my dress, caressing my skin with the promise of what’s to come.
“It’s different this time,” he whispers, as if to reassure me.
“I know.” I tip my face toward his, arching my neck, even though he closes the space between us.
Lachlan’s mouth brushes against mine slowly, as if he’s recalling a memory. Sweetly, like raspberry jam. Closing my eyes, my hands tentatively move to cup his cheeks, and he steps closer, walking me backward until my back hits a long table, shelves of honey and jams closing in on either side of us.
My lips part, and his tongue darts in, his hands dropping from my hips to grip my outer thighs. In one fluid movement, Lach lifts me off my feet and settles me on the table. Stepping in between my thighs, my dress rides up, offering a peek of my lace panties. I hook my ankles behind his back and tug him closer until I feel him, all of him, pressed against my core.
My breathing turns ragged as I drop my hands behind me to brace myself upright as Lachlan’s body covers mine. One of his hands slides up my back, anchoring me to his chest, while the other splays wide against the wall behind me, keeping him upright. Ripping my mouth from his, I tip my head back farther. His lips never leave my skin as they trail down the column of my neck, a blaze of fire followed by a stream of cool air. Goosebumps fan over my skin.
Lachlan growls as he presses open-mouthed kisses across the top of my chest. “Keira.”
“Hmm?” I breathe out, my body trembling from the jolts of electricity short-circuiting along my nervous system.
“I’m sorry.”
I still, my entire body freezing as water douses the electricity. Unease prickles the back of my neck, my stomach sinking. Suddenly, the wine throbs in my temples as insecurities unfurl in my mind like fog. Is he apologizing for the past or for something in the future, something I can’t even admit to myself. “What?”
Lachlan steps back, his hands dropping to my thighs, gripping my exposed flesh. I gaze up at his serious expression, his eyes blazing with regret. “I’m sorry for not telling you years ago how I feel about you. I’m sorry for sending mixed signals and doing one thing but saying another.”
I swallow, my body trembling. Partly from hope and partly with fear for whatever Lachlan is going to say next.
“How do you feel?” I whisper.
Lachlan cringes, anguish contorting his features. “And I’m sorry you even have to ask that question.” He cups my cheeks, his thumbs brushing over my cheekbones, his fingers lacing into my hair. “I love you, Keira Kearns. I’ve been a little bit in love with you since the first time I kissed you in this cellar, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I never meant to hurt you, and I hate that I have.” He drops his forehead to mine, his eyes closing in pain. “I’ve always been yours, Keira.”
Tears collect in my eyes, the moisture hot as it falls over and tracks my cheeks. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for years rumbling in the space between us like confessions dropped in a church pew.
Lachlan brushes my tears away, his expression severe. “Keira?”
Tipping my head back, I yank his neck down. Kissing him fiercely, I admit the truth I’ve been carrying around for four agonizing years. “It’s always been you, Lach. Even when I didn’t want it to be, it’s been you. And I both love you and hate you for it.”
His breath is shaky as he exhales, his eyes wide with relief. “It’s always been you, too, Keira. Even when I was too stupid to admit it.”
I laugh, swiping a hand over my face. When I drop my hand, Lachlan studies me, his gaze intent.
“I’m not letting you go this time, Keira. And I’ll write you cheesy poems and bring you flowers and take you to every restaurant in Edinburgh for the rest of my life. But more than that, I’m here. For you. For always. For whatever the future holds. Whatever you want, or need, from me, it’s yours.”
“Good. Because, Lachlan, I want everything,” I breathe out, a hopeless romantic like my Nanna.
Lachlan nods, the right side of his mouth lifting in a grin. He wraps me in his arms, squeezing tightly as I hug him back, letting all of my worries, doubts, and insecurities drift away. After several minutes, Lachlan steps back and brushes my hair behind my shoulders.
“Let me love you, baby. The right way. The way it should h
ave always been.”
Nodding, I let Lachlan lead me to the big house, up the stairs, down the hallway in the opposite direction of Nanna and my parents’ rooms, and into my bedroom.
Closing the door behind me, Lachlan turns, his eyes drinking me in.
The atmosphere between us swells and shrinks, too many emotions and too much time heightening the space until it’s charged. Crossing my arms in front of me, I pull my dress up and over my head, discarding it on the floor. Then, I step out of my pumps and shimmy my tights down my legs until I’m standing before Lachlan, clad in only a black bra and matching panties.
His gaze travels along my body like a caress, warming me from the inside out with the obvious appreciation and admiration gleaming from his dark eyes. “You’re the most beautiful woman on the planet, Keira.”
I smirk, reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. “Now you’re reaching.”
He snorts, but his eyes are serious when they latch onto mine. “On my soul, I swear it. No one has ever held a candle to you, babe. No one.” Stepping closer, Lach’s eyes never drop to my chest as he cups my cheeks and brings his lips to mine.
This time, he doesn’t stop.
Spinning me toward my bed, I lay back as his body covers mine. In between kisses and nips, I manage to free Lachlan from all of his clothes. When his naked body moves over mine and I grip the hard planes of his muscles, my eyes flutter closed.
His kiss is demanding, and I match his insistence with my own. Lach flips me so I’m on top, and I straddle him, my hands flat against his chest. He gazes up at me with longing, with pure adoration, with a love so strong, I drown in his eyes.
“I hope you always look at me like this.”
“From the first time I saw you, I haven’t been able to tear my eyes away,” he admits, his fingers stroking my outer thighs. “I love you, Keira Kearns.”
Folding forward, my skin pressing into his, I press kisses along Lachlan’s jaw until I can whisper in his ear. “Happy first Valentine’s Day, Lachlan.”
Chapter Six
Lachlan
“Wow. This is amazing,” Sierra whispers as we walk into the great space of the barn. Ferns hedge the outer perimeter as twinkling lights drape across the beams like the night sky. The chandelier is lit with hundreds of tiny candles, casting a soft glow throughout the space.