“I…,” she said glancing down at the front of my loose-fitting pajama pants.
What the hell was going on? I looked down to my bare stomach, and further to see if there was something I was missing, something to explain why she was staring like she was.
“Calliope!”
“I broke your knob,” she blurted out.
I was still baffled why she was standing there, holding a knob. “You did what?”
She held the metal piece out to me, and all at once she talked…and ran. “The toilet,” she said, darting down the hallway. “I broke the toilet knob, and now it’s squirting everywhere.”
I quickly followed her, and when we reached her room, I could hear it. Then I stepped into the bathroom and saw it.
“Shit!” I said.
The water from inside the toilet was shooting up and out all over the bathroom like a fountain. I stood for a moment, surveying the situation, running my hands through my hair. “Shit,” I repeated.
“I tried to turn that, well, this.” She held out the knob to me until I took it. “And it broke and—”
“Run downstairs to the laundry room and shut off the main water valve,” I said, cutting her off. “Do you know what that is?”
She nodded and started for the door, but I stopped her. “And grab a Phillips screwdriver from the toolbox in the laundry room, too.”
What the hell did she do? I made my way through the spouting water and the accumulated puddles, getting drenched by water in the process. The knob I was holding was obviously from the water valve, but as I got closer, I realized the screw was missing. I looked across the floor and, after a few moments, saw a screw floating in a puddle next to the toilet.
But where the hell was the water shooting up from? I wanted to get a closer look, but I knew the water would be shut off any second by Callie. The water had soaked through my pajamas, which I realized in that moment was going to totally show that I wasn’t wearing underwear.
“Fuck,” I said to myself.
It wasn’t like I knew she’d get me up in the middle of the night and I’d end up all wet. This was going to elevate my “creepy boss” status to an entirely new level. I glanced around the room, looking for a towel or something, but I knew there’d be no hiding it.
The water slowed and then stopped, letting me know she had located the water valve. I splashed over and looked in the back of the tank to where the water had been coming from. I almost instantly noticed that the top of the inlet valve thing was broken at the top.
I heard Callie panting as she ran back into the bedroom. She tiptoed into the bathroom, being careful not to slip, before handing me the screwdriver.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she said.
“It’s okay,” I said, kneeling down to reattach the knob to the water valve “It’s just water.”
“I’ll clean it all up. I just—”
I inserted the knob back into place and pushed the screw through the hole. As I turned the screwdriver to put the screw in tight, I turned to tell her again it was okay, that accidents happened.
But her heaving chest, her breasts pressing against the lace of her top stopped me. My hand slipped, and I had to refocus my attention on the task at hand.
Just screw the thing back in.
Screw.
Screw.
Shit.
I stood up, and as I did, Callie’s eyes followed me. They were at my face, then my chest, stomach, and then she stopped where I knew she’d be able to see the outline of my cock through the wet bottoms.
Quiet filled the bathroom, the only sounds were sporadic drips of water and our breathing. We stood face-to-face, and without words, our bodies began inching together. I wasn’t sure who was moving toward whom, but it was happening, like gravity. I swallowed hard, pushing down the improper thoughts I was having—thoughts of pushing her up against the wall, ripping her bottoms off, and fucking her senseless. Thoughts of yanking down the lace of her top, exposing her breasts, and licking, sucking my way across her nipples. Thoughts of kneeling in front of her, lifting her leg over my shoulder, and bringing my mouth to where she ached for me.
Our bodies, our faces, our mouths were getting dangerously close. I could smell her breath, sweet and minty. I wanted to grab the back of her neck, pull our bodies together, and taste her everywhere, but I waited.
“Calliope,” I whispered.
“Aaron.”
The sound of her voice, sexy and sweet, was enough to thrust me back into reality. I couldn’t let this happen.
I took in a sharp breath and stepped back. “Can you turn the water valve back on before you go back to bed?” I said.
She retreated on her own, brushing her hand across her face. “Of course.”
My eyes moved from her to something green laying on the edge of her bed. I squinted, trying to make it out, and…
It was…
A toy cucumber.
“What?” she asked.
I jerked my eyes back to her, trying to act like I didn’t just see what I saw. “Nothing. Nothing at all,” I responded. “I’m going to head back to bed. Good night.”
“Are you—” she started to say, but it was too late.
I bolted from the room to my own, where I headed straight to the shower. My new shower routine brought new meaning to lather, rinse, and repeat.
Chapter Nine
CALLIE—
He bolted from the room as fast as he could, leaving me confused once again.
I was too exhausted to examine the entire situation any further. I wiped up the puddle with a towel and walked back downstairs again and turned the water valve back on. My eyes were tired and heavy by the time I made it back upstairs. I was about to climb into bed when something caught my eye.
Something green.
Lying next to one of my pillows was Trix, the vibrator. I’d fallen asleep with it there, and when the bathroom situation happened, it was the furthest thing from my mind.
That was what he saw before he rushed out of the room.
“Fuck my life.”
* * *
“What the hell were you thinking, Callie?” Evelyn shouted at me. “You need to put the Rabbit away immediately after use. Immediately!”
“Will you keep your voice down?”
We were at the park at lunchtime the following Monday. I’d called her in crisis mode to tell her about everything, and she met me there. Since it was Aaron’s first day back at work, I was with Delilah on my own and figured she could play while I had an emergency summit with Evelyn.
“I’m so embarrassed. Everything I’m doing is wrong,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m trying, but every step I take, it’s wrong. Everything feels like one disaster after another.”
“Don’t be dramatic. It hasn’t even been an entire week yet. You’re just nervous or being, well, you.”
I shot her a look. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Sweetie, what is this really about?”
She knew. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but Evelyn saw right through me.
My emotions—fear, sadness, and humiliation—attacked me like a firing squad, so many at once I couldn’t separate them all. Tears stung my eyes, a completely out-of-character response, but justified. “I haven’t felt such a…in so long…and…”
“Okay. Okay,” she said, grabbing hold of my hand. “I get it. You caught feelings. So, let me ask you this. What is it that you want? And believe me, I realize that’s probably an uncomfortable question for you.”
“Again, Ev. What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means, you never think about what you want. You never think about what you deserve. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never thought you were good enough.”
The tears I was holding at bay threatened to spill over, and my nose began to run as I tried to explain. “What do you think I’m doing with school? And wanting to be a teacher? That’s me. That’s all me.”
“That’s a career. I’m
talking about you. What do you want for you?”
She was right. I hated to admit it, but she was. My life had become a series of steps, one in front of the other, without looking around me to see what life had to offer. It was work and school and that was it. It had always been that way. Between raising my little sisters and focusing on making a better life, there wasn’t much time to consider what I wanted. It was survival mode. Now, as the road narrowed toward my goal, and I could see my degree at the end of the tunnel, I wasn’t sure if it was going to be enough anymore.
Guilt began to overwhelm me, but I had to tell her what I was thinking.
“Him,” I whispered, quickly wiping away at the tears that had fallen. “I want him.”
I was afraid to look at her, to see her reaction, but I forced myself to. She tucked a lock of her blond hair behind her ear, pressing her signature tinted red lips together. “What do you want to do about it?”
I shrugged, digging through my purse, looking for a tissue to wipe my running nose. “What can I do? It is what it is and that means nothing can come out of it.”
“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “He’s single. You’re single.”
“He’s my boss. I’m his employee. We live together. Most of all.” I paused, pointing to Delilah. “And she’s the most important thing, regardless of how I feel.”
I found a tissue and dabbed my eyes, before blowing my nose. “Callie,” called Delilah, interrupting. She ran toward us, waving her hands and looking worried about something.
“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked when she stopped in front of me.
“Why are you crying?” she asked, concerned.
“Oh, I’m not crying.”
“Yes, you are, I saw you. Are you sad?”
I looked at her sweet face, eyebrows crinkled in worry. I did whatever any good caregiver would do and lied.
“No. I promise I’m not sad. I did have a couple of tears, but that’s because Evelyn stepped on my toe with her high heel. It hurt.”
“Did she say sorry?” Delilah asked.
“She sure did,” I said, looking at Evelyn and giving her a wink.
“I have a happy face ice pack at home for when I get hurt. Daddy got it for me. You can borrow it for your toe if you want to.”
She skipped over to the slide before I could answer her, but the sweetness of her comments made me smile.
Evelyn nudged my shoulder. “Come on. Let me buy you some frozen yogurt.”
And because she was the best best friend, and that was what best friends did, she ran across the street and returned with a massive fro-yo sundae.
* * *
Aaron was still not home by the time I put Delilah to bed, and I couldn’t help but think it was because he was still avoiding me. Uncertain what to do next, I decided to go up to the balcony, without visiting the hot tub, to clear my head.
A calm came over me once I stepped into the chilly night air. The city stretched out in front of me was illuminated. Everything from the restaurants to the streetlights glowed. Sounds of people enjoying their evening lifted to my ears, their laughter reminding me that there was a world surrounding me that was living. I moved toward the edge of the balcony, stopping to rest my hands on the tall wrought iron railing.
It was still strange to have my nights free. When I worked at Venom, I would be getting ready for work, and here I was done for the day. My off nights weeks ago were spent studying and trying to play catch-up. Now, things were gradually changing. I wondered if anything else was going to change.
The door from the stairs to the balcony opened, startling me, until Aaron stepped outside. He glanced around, not immediately seeing me.
“Aaron?” I called.
His head snapped up and looked in my direction. “Hi.”
He looked confused, almost surprised to see me. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. I…”
He moved toward me, but stopped, making sure to keep his distance. His eyes looked tired, but that didn’t take away from the vibrant blue that came from them as they fixated on me. I could tell he was struggling, trying to find the words to fill the silence between us, but couldn’t. It was like the other night in the bathroom. The slow dance between us kept us far enough away from doing something we both knew was so wrong, but close enough to get a glimpse of what we wanted.
“Are you okay?” I repeated.
His eyes moved to mine, and he shook his head with a slow hesitation, so subtle I wasn’t sure if he was answering my question or not.
With tentative steps, he closed the distance between us.
All I could do was wait. I waited and watched his chest rise and fall with each rapid breath. I waited as his hand reached to mine, brushing the tips of his fingers against mine. And when his head moved closer and closer to me, I waited because I was so scared that if I didn’t, the spell would break.
He inched closer and leaned his forehead against mine, letting out a deep sigh. “I can’t,” he whispered.
He squeezed my hand before dropping it and retreating to his own space. He waited only long enough for me to sadly nod, and then he walked back to the door. There was no looking back as he disappeared behind the door and down the stairs.
I stood there alone while the sounds of the living lingered around me.
No more waiting.
Chapter Ten
AARON—
I was in so much trouble.
Once I got to my room and closed the door, I stood with my back pressed against the middle before lifting my head and banging it into the door.
When I walked onto the roof, I didn’t see her at first. It was her soft voice whispering my name that brought my attention to her. I turned in her direction and everything…stopped. It was clichéd as shit, but my entire being was drawn to her.
As my heart pounded, so did my dick, and with her body so connected to mine, I knew she could feel how turned on she made me. Just the light touch of her fingers against mine lit me up.
It still wasn’t enough. The simplest touch drew her in close to where I wanted her to be, but it was still too far away. She was still too far away.
I needed more.
Maybe it was a breakthrough of my conscience telling me how wrong it all was.
Maybe it was fear. Her touch electrified my body and awoke a part of me that had been dead for so long that it scared me.
Maybe it was self-doubt, wondering if I was good enough for her.
Maybe it was guilt because I was her boss, in a position of power.
Maybe it was all of these things that snuck into my brain at the most inappropriate time, but whatever reason it was, I knew I had to stop it.
So I did.
I told her I couldn’t because I couldn’t.
I couldn’t risk my daughter’s heart. I couldn’t risk allowing Callie in just to have her leave. She was young. I was a single dad with so much baggage. We were destined for failure, and I wouldn’t take that kind of risk with Delilah involved. And that was what this was all about. It was always what it was all about.
And like the awful bastard I was, I left her standing on the roof with no explanation. I still leaned against the door, listening to see what she would do. I wouldn’t have blamed her for walking out on us because she had to be so damn confused.
After several minutes, I heard the door to the stairs to the roof shut followed by another close of her bedroom door. A wave of relief came over me.
She had stayed. For now.
* * *
I awoke the next morning to the closing of the front door. I sat up, startled, immediately worried that Callie had in fact decided to leave, but once I looked at the clock, I realized that it was her scheduled time for class. With a deep sigh, I let my head fall back onto my pillow, feeling emotionally and physically drained.
“Daddy,” Delilah shouted from outside my door. “I see the sun.”
“Come in.”
The door swung open hard, banging itself into
the opposite wall. She realized what she had done, and her hand flew in front of her mouth.
She turned toward me, anticipating being scolded. “Sorry, Daddy.” She looked so adorable with her bedhead and Minnie Mouse pajamas.
“It’s okay, baby girl,” I said. “You want to come lay with Daddy for a few minutes? We can watch Dora.” I patted the pillow next to me.
“No. Can I go wake up Callie? She said we can go to the pet store today.”
“Callie’s at school this morning. Now, why don’t you come sit with me?”
“No, Daddy,” she whined. “I’m going to go wait for Callie to come home.”
“She won’t be home for a while, sweetie. We can do something.”
She folded her arms across her chest and continued to pout. “Callie is funnier,” she whispered.
I raised my eyebrows at her curiously. She was what this was all about, and it occurred to me that it was only fair to ask her how she felt about things.
“So, have you been having fun with Callie? You like her living with us?” I asked.
“Oh yes,” she responded enthusiastically. “She likes to play Barbie and color and she painted my toes and she made me Play-Doh and she smells pretty.”
I smiled while my heart ached. Even with my mom being a constant, Grandma fit into the grandma role. She couldn’t fill the mom role. Callie was the first woman Delilah had known to live in this house, and even if she understood her place as the nanny, it wasn’t going to take much for her attachment to grow.
She’d missed out on so much not having Lexie around, and now that Callie was here, I was messing that up, too.
“I’m glad you’re having fun,” I said.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, sweetie.”
“Can Callie live here with us forever?” she asked.
I paused before answering. “I don’t know what will happen in the future, baby girl.”
“I hope she does because I think I love her,” she said before skipping out of the room.
My heart.
Attachment? Already attached.
I busied myself with Delilah while Callie was gone, but tension riddled my body. While Delilah played on the iPad in the kitchen, I decided to get in a quick workout, which I hoped would release some stress. For times like this, when I couldn’t get to the gym, I had a small setup in the laundry room. This way, with Delilah in the kitchen, I could keep an eye on her while I worked out.
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