The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller

by L. B. Simmons

  My eyes tighten as they lock onto his, not really sure if a surprise is what I need today. I’m already nervous and a bit flustered.

  Growing impatient, his head drops to the side, and I know his stubbornness will outlast mine, so I close my eyes and clasp my hands in front of my body as I wait. I hear some shuffling, then a familiar giggle fills the air. My eyes shoot open and my hands fly to my mouth.

  “Quinn?”

  She bounces up and down a couple of times, excitement overwhelming her until she finally takes flight and runs into my arms, crushing me with her embrace.

  I stumble back, bounding off my heels and catching her mid-motion, finally righting our bodies and squeezing her as tightly as my arms will allow. And—I kid you not—we bounce on our tiptoes in a complete circle as we squeal and giggle until the revolution is complete. When it’s done, we each take a step backward, maintaining our hold on each other’s forearms as we survey the changes in appearance.

  Quinn’s hair is still impeccable, its long blonde strands wrapped tightly into a bun at the top of her head. Her body is healthy and her skin is glowing. The weight she’s gained has filled out her beautiful face, making her even more gorgeous than before as her green eyes shine with pure happiness. They’re no longer tinged with her hidden pain. They’re bright, joyful, and full of life. Her dress is also simple, a black maxi-dress with tiny straps at the top, her body covered in a sheer layer of fabric that dances along the floor with her movements.

  “Quinn, you look…”

  “Wow, Aubrey, you look…”

  As we break out into laughter, my heart fills to the brim with joy. I tear my stare from Quinn and look to Kaeleb who’s smiling ear-to-ear as he watches our interaction. The fact that we’re all here, together, makes my chest feel like it’s going to explode.

  I mouth the words thank you and he simply dips his chin in return.

  Redirecting my attention to Quinn, I ask, “How did you get here? I mean, I know your parents have been pretty overbearing lately.”

  She throws her head back in laughter. “Yeah, you could say that, but Mr. McMadden here charmed the pants off my mother.”

  My eyes grow wide as I slowly turn my head back in his direction, sending his hands flying up in his defense. “Hey! That was purely metaphorical.” Throwing a wink at me, he adds, “Ninja charm.”

  “Oh. My. God. Get over yourself,” I say, rolling my eyes into the back of my head. Kaeleb laughs outright and Quinn, of course, makes a pitiful attempt to shield her giggle.

  God, I’ve missed my friends.

  Our reunion is short-lived, cut off by the fact that we need to get to the church. Once in Kaeleb’s car, my body is twisted in the passenger seat, practically hanging on Quinn’s every word as we catch up.

  “What’s going on with that surfer dude? Tommy?” I ask, my facing breaking into a grin with Quinn’s love-struck smile. I immediately notice the difference between the one I saw with Josh and her newfound love. The previous one never quite reached her eyes and was wrought with insecurity, but this one is full and beaming, as her eyes light up with the confidence that she’s gained since I last saw her.

  “He’s definitely not a surfer,” she responds with laughter. “He’s just, gaaaaaah! You know?”

  I giggle at her lack of explanation because as I look to Kaeleb, with his own smile spreading across his face while he drives, I know exactly what she means. Sometimes it’s impossible for mere words to encompass how you really feel about someone. There’s nothing you could ever possibly say to adequately emulate the effect of that person’s presence in your life. It’s an overwhelming, indescribable feeling that consumes your heart and captivates your soul.

  It simply just is.

  Feeling my stare, Kaeleb tears his eyes off the road and they drift briefly to mine. He lifts his hand to stroke my cheek with his knuckles, offering me a simple, knowing smile. Our eyes catch, and although no words are spoken, so much is being said.

  Five minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of the church only for my nerves to begin racing as I see people gathering by the front entrance.

  Quinn hops out of the car as I remain, once again, firmly planted in my seat. My foot is tapping nervously on the floorboard as I wring my hands in my lap. I continue doing so until Kaeleb eventually covers them with his own, forcing me to look at him as I nibble my bottom lip.

  “You’re going to do fine.”

  I inhale deeply. “You think?”

  “I know,” he responds quickly with a wink.

  “Okay,” I release the breath. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Quinn knocks on my window and opens the door. I reluctantly slide out of my seat, linking one of my hands with hers and the other through Kaeleb’s offered arm. Their presence fortifies me as we enter the church together.

  Through the entire service, I focus on the framed portrait beside Linda’s casket, remembering her beauty and the life that she so willingly gave to me when she took me in. The true definition of unconditional love can be found in her smile as she stares back at me. Sniffles fill the air, and a few tears of my own course down my cheeks, but I find comfort in knowing that she’s no longer suffering. Knowing that wherever she may be right now, that she’s alive and happy and no longer in pain, soothes the ache in my chest.

  When silence falls all around me, I know that my time to speak has arrived. Releasing the hands of both Kaeleb and Quinn, I stand and make my way to the podium. My fingers tremble as I pull out my speech and set it just under the microphone, finally gathering the courage to make eye contact with the crowd. My eyes drift over their faces. Some people I don’t know, some people I do, but one person catches my eye and gives me the push I need to speak.

  Nervously smiling back at Palmer, sitting in the back row, I give him my thanks with a nod of my head before clearing my throat to begin.

  “Um…I know the majority of you are surprised to see me up here. I’m sure some of you didn’t even know I could speak.” A collective laugh fills the air, further spurring my confidence. “My name is Aubrey Miller.” I glance to Kaeleb before looking back down at the paper in front of me. “For those of you who don’t know, Linda Walker was my legal guardian. She took me in at eight years old, after my parents passed away, and has been the one prominent figure in my life ever since. She was my mother, my sister, my friend, and my teacher. Her love was unyielding and her strength was admirable. Accepting me into her world, taking sole responsibility for me…well, she sacrificed a lot. I was her life from that point on, plain and simple. There was never a moment that I didn’t know how much I was loved or the extent to which I was cherished, as she often conveyed the endless depths of her caring, no matter how difficult I made it for her to express those emotions.”

  Tears roll out of my eyes and I’m forced to take a breath before I can continue speaking. “To say I was stubborn is an understatement. But Linda…well, she was tenacious. And she was until the day she left us. Her battle with cancer was one that was incredibly difficult to watch, but as I witnessed it, I gained a newfound respect and admiration for this thing we call life. You see, Linda Walker not only gave me a home. She not only gave me family. She not only gave me unconditional love and patience. On top of all those things, she granted me the greatest parting gift of all, because in her death she passed on to me the importance of learning to how to fully live. Of finding wonder and amazement with each day that passes. Of the realization that certain things should never be taken for granted.”

  I break to look at Kaeleb, and as his eyes glisten back at me, I know he understands the meaning of my next statement. “Of the absolute necessity of letting yourself love and be loved.”

  A shy smile plays on his lips, and Quinn literally claps with excitement beside him. A slight laugh bubbles into my throat, but I force myself to stifle it as I end the eulogy.

  “And for her many, many gifts that she so lovingly bestowed upon me, I will be eternally grateful. I love you, Linda
. You are missed more than you will ever know.”

  After wiping my cheeks, I fold the paper and place it back into my clutch before making my exit off the stage. My eyes are trained on Kaeleb, and my heart leaps in my chest as I head back to my seat, knowing that there will be no need for her to waste her time haunting me from the beyond.

  There’s no way I’m ever letting this man go.

  “GO!” Quinn yells, pushing me out the door, her face half full of laughter while the other half is attempting to look scary fierce. It’s not working. I can only take someone so seriously when they’re donning pink flannel pajama pants with their feet clad in big bunny slippers, the ears flopping all over the place with their movements.

  “Quinn! Let me in! I want to change!” I yell back, trying to charge my way through the front door.

  “NO! No changing! GO!” she adds, with another shove. Stepping back, I cross my arms over my chest and breathe in deeply.

  “Quinn, Kaeleb just left like half an hour ago. I would look like an idiot if I went charging over there right now.”

  She shakes her head and happily closes the door behind her. “No, you wouldn’t. You would look like you’re going to get the man you love.” She steps forward and sets her hand on my shoulder. “You told me you were finally to the point where you are living. I can’t imagine a better way to start that life than with that man by your side.” She laughs when I give her a conceding shrug, then gently pushes my body away from her. “Go.”

  “What about you?” I ask.

  She huffs. “I’ll be fine. You already showed me the bedroom. That’s all I need to know. Lord knows I’m stuffed with all the casseroles flying around this place tonight. I’m going to call Tommy, then head to bed.”

  I tighten my gaze at her. “You sure?”

  “Positive,” she responds. “Now get that hot ass of yours into that car and GO!”

  Releasing a long, contemplative exhale, I finally relent. “Fiiiiiiine.”

  She giggles and claps the entire way as she follows me to the car. Once I’m inside, I roll my window down, the uncertainty about this whole situation settling into my stomach with a thud. “What if —”

  “Nope. Not gonna happen.” She heads back to the door, gesturing excitedly for me to call her afterwards. I nod as I watch her disappear into Linda’s house.

  After the funeral, we had a lot of people come by for the repast. There were tears, there were hugs, there were laughs, and there were definitely A LOT of casseroles. Quinn wasn’t lying about that. Palmer came and went, giving me his condolences and surprising me with a tender embrace before he left. When the number of visitors began to trickle down, Kaeleb also headed out, explaining he was getting a hotel room in order for Quinn and me to catch up, which I had planned on doing until she forced me out the door.

  I’m still shaking my head as I pull out of the driveway. She could have at least let me change into something more comfortable.

  As I drive down the highway, I briefly glance down at my attire, feeling a little overdressed and underprepared to deliver my speech of a lifetime. My nerves are at an all-time high and my brain is in overdrive, listing every single reason that Kaeleb might not take me back. Sudden doubt replaces my earlier confidence with each passing thought.

  I left him when he needed me.

  I hurt him on purpose.

  I lost my virginity to someone else. And I don’t even remember it.

  That last one almost causes me to turn around. I am in no way looking forward to that conversation.

  That being said, I know what I want. And I want him.

  I’m just hoping he still feels the same way.

  Once I finally arrive, I make my way inside and bypass the front desk as I head to his room. Quinn announced his room number at least fifty times before my departure, so I know where I’m heading. After smoothing my dress, I take in a long, deep breath and press the elevator button. My heart is bouncing all over the place, ricocheting around like a speeding bullet as I ascend to the second floor. All I can seem to think about is that my life will soon be drastically changed.

  For better or for worse.

  I run my fingers through my hair as the door opens. An older couple greets me and I shyly smile in response to the laughter in their eyes.

  My feet carry me on their own as my mind continues to fill with apprehension and nervous anxiety. My tortuous journey comes to an end after two right turns and an extremely long hallway.

  The number 256 stares me in the face for about thirty seconds before I reprimand myself for being ridiculous and finally knock on the door. Heavy footsteps approach, and as the handle turns, I close my eyes and take in another deep breath. When I open them, I’m met with a sexy half-smile and beautiful hazel eyes. Eyes that don’t look at all stunned to see me. They actually look…relieved.

  “Come on in.”

  Slowly I step inside the room. The candlelight catches my eyes as the flames flicker and dance all around me. I stand there in shock, watching the glow that lines almost every inch of the room. Kaeleb clears his throat from behind me and I turn to face him. I eye him suspiciously before finally take notice of his appearance. A white undershirt clings snugly to his chest and around his biceps, and he’s still dressed in the pants and shoes from the funeral. The silver buckle on his belt catches my attention before my sight works its back up to his face.

  And then it dawns on me.

  They had this planned the whole time.

  No wonder Quinn threw me out of the house.

  The corner of my mouth jerks upward when the revelation hits me, prompting Kaeleb’s half-smile to turn into a full one.

  “Damn it. I had a really good speech planned too,” I remark with feigned disappointment.

  He cocks his brow and gestures for me to have a seat on the bed. My own eyebrows lift at his presumptuousness, sending a rumble of laughter through his chest. “Well, don’t let my wooing, as you like to call it, stop you. I’m suddenly very interested to hear this speech you have prepared.”

  He takes a seat on the bed as I remain standing. Still smiling, he leans back against the pillows, locking his arms behind his head. He stretches his long legs out along the bed as he kicks off his shoes and crosses his feet at the ankles. His face is full of amusement as he widens his eyes, signaling me to begin. “Come on, Sunshine. Don’t go getting all shy on me now. Let’s hear it.”

  My face pinches tightly as my eyes narrow in his direction. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  We stare at each other in some sort of unnecessary stand-off for a couple of minutes before a long conceding exhale passes through my lips. “Fine. I need some water though.”

  Nothing like some preemptive stalling.

  I make my way to the sink while running through my epic speech one more time in my head. Once I’ve downed the glass, I kick off my shoes and stride to the bed, displaying false confidence as I take a seat beside his legs.

  Clearing my throat, I begin. “So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this,” I gesture between the two of us, “About us.”

  Kaeleb responds with an encouraging nod but remains silent. “In the time we were apart, I changed. I mourned. I lost. I accepted. I grew. But the most important thing I did was survive. I survived all the things that frightened me the most. And do you want to know how I did that? What I focused on?”

  His eyes hold mine as he unlocks his arms and brings them forward to reach for my hand. “Of course.”

  Interlacing our fingers, I answer, “Balance.”

  “Balance?”

  “Yes, balance.” I tighten my grip on his hand. “You call me your sun, well you’re my moon, Kaeleb. I know it’s not the most romantic thing I could say right now, but it’s true. You’re my balance. You’re the ebb to my flow. You’re the day to my night. The light to my dark. With all the bad that I’ve experienced, you are the good that balances my life.”

  Happy tears rise in my eyes and a smile crosses my face. �
�This brand new, beautiful life that I’ve just begun living doesn’t work without you in it. I need you, Kaeleb, like the sun needs the moon.”

  A familiar, smart-aleck grin breaks across Kaeleb’s face. “You know, technically the sun doesn’t need the moon.” A chuckle escapes his throat and his shoulders bob with laughter as I pull my hand out of his and narrow my gaze at his statement.

  “Really? You’re going to discount my entire extraordinary speech with your stupid-ass, know-it-all tendencies?”

  His face falls serious as he leans forward into my line of sight. “Will you let me finish before you get all huffy?”

  I cross my arms over my chest and indeed, huff.

  He fights a smile. “But I do understand what you’re saying.”

  His grin fades and his tone loses its humor. “I think some people are just inexplicably bonded. Drawn by forces beyond their own comprehension, they have no choice but to gravitate toward one another. Destined by fate to keep crossing paths until they finally get it right.”

  He reaches to stroke my cheek with his fingertip. “So, yeah. I understand completely. Because the way I see it, we’re two people, so hopelessly intertwined, that without one, the other ceases to fully exist. You call me your moon, well, I call you my soul mate.”

  My breath stalls and my heart hammers in my chest. Before I can say anything, he leans forward, hooking his hand around the back of my neck as he draws me into him, brushing his lips softly against mine. The taste of him as his tongue gently parts my lips…the scent of him as I breathe him in…the feel of him as I run my fingers along his chest…it flares every single one of my senses, bringing them to life with the need to absorb him. For our bodies to become one, to join, to immerse so deeply in one another so that there is no possible recognition of where one begins and the other ends.

  I rise to my knees as he does the same, our mouths insatiable, growing with frenzy. My fingers work their way to his nape, pulling him as close as I can just to savor his taste. His teeth nibble along my bottom lip and his tongue tangles with mine as he releases his hold on my neck, to grasp my waist.