by Karly Lane
The sun felt warm on her skin as Dan gently traced circles across her back. They’d eaten their hastily thrown together lunch and now she was feeling drowsy and content.
‘Are you happy here, Ri?’
His quiet words brought her wide awake and she rolled onto her back to look into Dan’s face. He propped himself on one arm, so close she could feel his body heat. Staring up into his serious face, Rilee saw the strain in the small lines around his eyes as he tried to search her face for an answer to his question.
‘I’m not unhappy,’ she hedged, and she wasn’t. She’d been in places far worse than this in her life. Working in a bar in order to put herself through her degree, disillusioned with pretty much everything, including men and relationships, had certainly been no stroll in the park.
‘That’s not an answer.’
Rilee raised her hand to the rough stubble that darkened his jaw in a sexy, rugged way. ‘I’m happy wherever you are.’
He gave a ghost of a smile, but his eyes were still serious and far too perceptive for comfort. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day. I don’t want to turn you into my mother.’
‘I didn’t mean—’ Rilee automatically began to protest, but Dan was shaking his head.
‘My father brought her here as a young bride from the city. Sound familiar? She didn’t like it at first. She still prefers to spend as much time as she can back in the city. She wanted Dad to sell up and move, but he never would. I don’t want to force you to stay here if it’s going to make you end up hating me.’
‘That’s not going to happen, Dan.’
‘Sometimes I get the sense you feel like you’ve trapped yourself here.’
An uneasy feeling ran through her at his comment. There had been times since coming here that she had felt trapped, had wondered whether she’d made the right decision, but she didn’t know he’d been aware of that. ‘You better not let your father hear you trying your hand at psychology. I don’t think he could handle two of us crossing to the dark side of mumbo jumbo,’ she teased lightly.
He held her gaze steadily for a few more moments, then said with a touch of self-deprecation, ‘Maybe I’ll just stick to farming.’
They fell into an easy silence, but Rilee was troubled by his analysis. She loved him—there was no doubt in her mind at all that she’d made the right decision to marry him—but this lifestyle was nothing like she’d been expecting. She hadn’t had the first clue what it would be like being the wife of a farmer. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was she had been expecting, but the long hours Dan worked and the lonely days of trying to find something to do while he was out working, while trying to avoid her distinctly cold mother-in-law, had not been part of it. She’d have to work harder at keeping her concerns quiet—the last thing she wanted was for Dan to be worrying about her as well as the thousand other things he had to think about.
‘I never did get around to asking you about the meeting you and Mum went to the other day. How did it go?’
Rilee gave a small groan. ‘It was okay.’ She rolled away and stared up at the cloudless blue of the sky above them. The smooth rocks of the creek bank were warm beneath her. ‘I know I need to get involved with the community to fit in better, but I honestly don’t know if I’m cut out to be church group material.’
‘They raise money for worthy events and it keeps Mum out of my hair if she’s bossing around the rest of the town.’ She could hear the grin in Dan’s voice.
‘I shouldn’t complain, but honestly, they’re fundraising for all these places everywhere else. Aren’t there things around here that they could be raising money for? I mean, look at Pallaburra. We don’t have any doctors, the closest one is two and a half hours away. I asked your mother who her doctor was and she said she went to one in Sydney! Sydney, Dan.’
‘We’ve always used Dr Morley. His father was Mum’s doctor when she was a kid.’
‘I know for a Kincaid with their own aircraft that’s really no less inconvenient than most people having to drive two hours, but seriously, how are most normal people supposed to get their kids to a doctor that far away?’
‘I’ll try not to take offence at the normal people comment,’ he said dryly.
‘I just think there’s more than a few things around this place they could be trying to improve.’
‘So do something about it.’
Rilee turned her head at that and saw he was serious. ‘I can’t even convince people around here to believe I’m a trained professional, you really think they’re going to listen to any of my suggestions?’
‘You won’t know if you don’t try.’
For an insane moment she actually considered it, until Priscilla’s smug smile came to mind. ‘I met someone at the meeting who knew you.’
‘Rilee, I was born here, everyone at that meeting knows me.’
‘When were you going to mention Priscilla Montgomery?’
When he didn’t answer, Rilee looked over at him and lifted an eyebrow in question.
‘I didn’t know she was back in town.’
‘Well, she is, large as life. So how come you never told me you were practically married to her?’
‘We weren’t practically anything. We’ve known each other all our lives, but there was never going to be a marriage.’
‘Someone forgot to mention that to Priscilla and your mother.’
‘I never promised either one of them anything. In fact, I went out of my way to make it very clear I didn’t intend to marry Priscilla. She went off to the city and I thought that was the end of it.’ He seemed genuinely annoyed.
‘Maybe they thought you’d change your mind.’
‘There’s nothing they can do about it now, is there, so forget about them.’ He stood up and headed for the creek, wading in until waist deep and then diving beneath the water and vanishing from sight.
Rilee felt a tiny niggle of uncertainty at his abrupt behaviour. Something warned her that there was more to this story than he was telling her.
He emerged from the creek and shook the water from his head, reaching for a towel hanging on a nearby tree where they’d hung them after their earlier dip. Rilee watched him silently, content to let their previous conversation go if he didn’t want to discuss it, but he surprised her when he sat down on the ground next to her and started talking.
‘The Montgomerys and Kincaids have been friends for years. Priscilla and I grew up together. We had a brief teenage romance. I guess Mum always thought at some point it would rekindle. I told her not to hold her breath, but she was like a dog with a bone.’
‘Can’t believe that for a second,’ Rilee said drolly.
‘Anyway,’ Dan continued after leaning back on his elbows, ‘Mum was driving me nuts—more so than usual,’ he said with a slanted grin, ‘and she invites Priscilla over for a mini intervention. They were both there waiting for me when I walked in after a buying trip away. So they reveal this almighty marriage proposition, complete with guest list for the wedding, time frame of when an appropriate announcement should take place and a list of all the benefits a joint marriage between Thumb Creek and Little Bend would bring both families.’
Rilee could picture the scene exactly. ‘What did you do?’
‘I lost it. I told them to forget it, that if they couldn’t take the polite hints I’d been giving then I’d make it real clear for them so there was no mistake.’
Rilee flinched, despite the small voice cheering on her husband for standing up to them. After all, she knew what rejection felt like from a man you thought you were in love with.
‘I told them that when I got married—if I got married—it would be on my terms, with a woman of my choice, when I was ready.’
‘That must have gone down well.’
Dan gave a snort. ‘There were tears and tantrums and swearwords being thrown about that I’d never even heard before.’
‘And that was just from your mother!’ Rilee muttered.
Dan chuckled, but shook his head at the memory. ‘It wasn’t pretty.’
No wonder Ellen and Priscilla were so annoyed with her. They’d had everything worked out perfectly until Dan had decided to go and be difficult and marry some stranger from the city, no less. She didn’t hold out much hope she was going to be winning over either woman anytime soon.
Thirteen
As Rilee rounded the aisle of the supermarket she noticed a young girl at the far end and realised it was the same young mother she’d bumped into at the chemist. She saw the girl carefully select a lipstick from the wall display of cheap makeup. Her hand hovered over the red plastic basket balanced on top of the old pram with its faded navy fabric before she quickly replaced the tube back on the shelf and pushed the pram towards the checkout.
Rilee thought once again about the number of young mothers in town, tied down with children before they’d even had a chance to live their lives.
As she reached the end of the aisle, Rilee glanced at the rectangular lipstick box that had been haphazardly placed back on the shelf. Candy Pink. Rilee smiled sadly. The teenager with a baby was still just a young girl who wanted the same thing every other girl her age—godawful bright pink lipstick. Rilee dropped the lipstick into her trolley, heading towards the cashier to line up behind the young girl as the last of her items were being tallied.
‘Forty-seven eighty-two,’ the cashier was saying to the girl as Rilee began unpacking her trolley.
There was a moment’s silence as the girl rummaged through her purse.
The cashier shifted her weight to the other foot and waited impatiently with a deadpan stare. ‘I already told your mum that there’s no more store credit.’
‘I don’t want any credit,’ the girl mumbled.
‘If you don’t have enough you’ll have to put something back. What do you want to take out?’ the woman asked briskly.
Rilee saw the girl bite her bottom lip as she tried to decide what she needed the least. From what Rilee could see there wasn’t an easy choice, with only nappies, baby formula, a few bananas, milk and a small tray of minced beef on the counter before her.
This wasn’t right, Rilee thought, feeling terrible for the young girl’s plight. ‘Here, let me,’ she said, taking out her purse and handing the cashier a fifty-dollar note.
It was hard to say who looked more surprised, the cashier or the girl. ‘Are you sure?’ the cashier asked, staring at the cash doubtfully.
‘I’m sure,’ Rilee said.
‘No,’ the young girl said harshly. ‘It’s fine, I don’t want any of it.’
‘Please,’ Rilee said quietly. ‘You can’t put any of that back, it all looks important. Do it for your baby.’
The poor kid looked torn between humiliation and desperation and Rilee sent a glare at the cashier. ‘Take the money,’ she said pointedly.
As she turned away to get the change, Rilee saw the girl hastily gather the plastic bags and hang them over the handles of the worn-looking pram, her eyes downcast before she hurried out of the store.
‘I wouldn’t make a habit of that around here,’ the woman said gruffly.
Rilee took in the cashier’s jowly neck and pallid complexion and thought she showed the signs of poor diet and too much alcohol. Rilee had to refrain from slipping the woman one of her business cards. ‘No one ever died of showing a little kindness now and again.’
The woman gave an unimpressed grunt. ‘I found out the hard way. They’ll take advantage of your charity and they won’t thank you for it.’
‘Thanks,’ Rilee said, handing over the cash for her own groceries and pushing her trolley outside to her car.
‘I’m going to pay you back for this.’
Rilee turned at the comment and saw the young girl standing beside her. ‘Great, but there’s no rush.’
The girl rubbed her nose as she considered Rilee suspiciously. ‘Why would you help me like that?’
Rilee began to pack her groceries into the back of the ute. ‘I could see you were struggling and I wanted to help.’
‘You don’t even know me.’
‘You’re trying to do the right thing by your baby,’ Rilee said, glancing down at the sleeping child. ‘Here,’ she handed over the lipstick from the bag she’d just put away. ‘I saw you looking at it earlier.’
‘No…thanks,’ the girl tacked on, although she stared at the lipstick intently.
‘Come on, take it. On a bad day, there is always lipstick,’ Rilee said and smiled at the girl’s confused look. ‘I don’t know who said it, but it’s true.’
The girl reached out hesitantly. ‘I’ll add it onto what I owe you,’ she said as she slipped the lipstick into her pocket. ‘I better go.’
‘Wait. I’m Rilee, what’s your name?’
The girl seemed to be weighing up the wisdom of revealing her name, but after a few moments must have decided it couldn’t hurt. ‘Talissa.’
‘It’s nice to meet you, Talissa,’ Rilee smiled.
Talissa ducked her head shyly before turning away to push the pram down the street.
Rilee watched her walk away as she hooked the loops of the ute’s canvas cover to secure the contents in the tray. If today was any indication, the teenager was putting her child’s welfare ahead of her own, and that showed a lot of maturity. Rilee was impressed.
‘Rilee?’
Rilee’s head jerked up in alarm. Oh God, had she dozed off? With a quick look from the corner of her eye, she realised curious eyes were upon her and Ellen was waiting expectantly for some kind of answer. ‘Um, sorry? I didn’t quite hear the question.’
A cool smile touched her mother-in-law’s precision-lined, peach-shaded lips. ‘I asked if you would be able to commit to knitting a bag of squares for our woollen blanket appeal.’
‘I…haven’t knitted for years. I’m not very good at it.’
‘I’m sure you’ll remember once you get going again, dear. Now if there’s nothing else to discuss, we might adjourn for morning tea.’
‘Actually, Ellen,’ Rilee stood up quickly, watching Ellen frown in irritation. ‘I wondered if I could make a suggestion.’
‘What kind of suggestion, Rilee?’ It was hard to ignore the strained politeness in the tone.
‘Well, I’ve just been curious why is it the group’s supporting a project that’s so far removed from our community?’
‘I beg your pardon.’
‘I’m not saying this knitting fundraiser isn’t a great idea, but I just noticed there’s nothing that supports local causes.’
‘Local? Like what?’
‘For instance, I’ve noticed there seems to be a high incident of teenage pregnancy in town. Maybe the group could look at some kind of education policy to get put into schools to introduce incentives for girls to stay in school, maybe some kind of scholarship towards university?’
‘That might be a little bit too ambitious, don’t you think? Besides, our group has always fundraised for the homeless and we will continue to do so.’
‘I’m not suggesting you stop knitting your blankets, but surely there’s also need closer to home?’
‘I tell you what, at our next meeting, if you think you’d like to join the group, we can discuss it then.’
Rilee knew she’d just been dismissed and she heard the twitter of conversation flutter around the room after Ellen quickly declared the meeting over. She was only trying to fit in, like Ellen had wanted her to do. Well, she didn’t have to put up with this crap, being talked down to like an idiot. Let them knit their damn squares.
A fleeting image of a young girl with a baby looking longingly at a group of schoolgirls made a small voice tsk in shame inside her head.
She tried her best to ignore the interest her little interaction with Ellen had caused, squaring her shoulders as she plastered a polite smile on her face and wishing fervently that she’d driven herself in so she could go home. Unfortunately, as she’d come in with Ellen, she was going to be stuck here for quite
some time to come.
She really only had herself to blame. She shouldn’t have opened her mouth. Did she even want to join this group? If it was the only way to be in a position to make changes, to put forward ideas, then could she afford not to join?
When had life suddenly gotten this complicated? All she’d been planning to do was open a clinic, for goodness sake. She didn’t have time to be taking on a new group and fundraising. It was crazy. This wasn’t even her fight. And yet she couldn’t forget that look of longing she’d witnessed on Talissa’s face as she’d put that damn lipstick back on the shelf. How could she stand by and continue to let kids ruin their lives? How could she not try to find some way to break this cycle?
Fourteen
‘We’ve been summonsed for dinner over at the house tonight,’ Dan announced as he tossed his hat on the bench and crossed the kitchen to wash his hands.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know. Mum called me on the radio earlier. Thought you might have heard.’
‘No, I’ve been outside all morning in the garden.’ She’d thought that once they moved into their own place dinner with the in-laws would only happen on special occasions. She’d thought wrong. It was taking quite a lot of getting used to, all this family stuff.
‘Have you done anything I should know about in advance? Pissed her off somehow?’ Dan joked.
‘Well, I’ve been breathing all day, so I guess that could be it.’ Rilee flicked the coffee machine on and reached for two cups. ‘Is there any way we can get out of it?’
‘Don’t look at me, I’m too attached to my testicles to risk losing them.’
‘Chicken.’
‘Speaking of which, how’s it going with Big Red?’
‘Still a stand-off.’
‘You want me to deal with him?’
‘No. Thanks.’ She knew what that meant: Red would end up in the pot for dinner. ‘I’m going to work that particular problem out on my own.’