by Elena Aitken
Until now. Maybe.
The little voice in the back of her head chimed in the way it was doing more than she’d like lately. Was it because of Logan? Never before had she entertained the idea of a real relationship. Except maybe with Noah. She had liked Noah. A lot. Could it have been more with him?
She shook her head and forced a light smile to her face. Because it didn’t matter whether it could have been more or not. The fact of the matter was that it wasn’t more and it never would be.
But as much as she’d like to believe that was true, deep down, she wasn’t sure she believed that particular story she’d been telling herself any longer.
“Besides,” she said to change the subject. “I thought we were talking about you and Sarah?”
“Sorry to pry.” Brody laughed. “I just…well, I guess it’s one of those things, you know?”
“I don’t.”
“It’s just so funny that you and your identical twin, raised completely the same way, are so different in this one fundamental way.”
“I don’t know if it’s funny.” She crossed her arms as she tried, and failed, for levity. “Or fundamental.”
“You don’t think love is fundamental?”
She shook her head.
The very last thing she wanted to be doing was having this conversation and she itched with discomfort. She hadn’t even told the people closest to her about that day when she was fifteen and had overheard the conversation that had changed everything for her. Not even her parents knew that she’d heard them talking that sunny afternoon. That she’d heard the argument, heard the hurtful words they’d tossed back and forth so casually instead of handling them with care like the daggers, with the power to destroy lives, that they were.
Even now, so many years later, she could still close her eyes and be right back there, in the stairwell of their home, with her parents on the porch. Her mother crying while her father just yelled at her, accusing her of—
“Faith?” She opened her eyes and Brody was watching her, concern lining his face. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to…well, I’m sorry if I said anything to upset you.”
“You didn’t.” She forced a smile again and tried to chuckle, but the memory was too vivid, too clear, and she knew it fell flat.
“Okay.” He didn’t believe her and it was easy to see why when he passed her a box of tissues. She hadn’t even known she was crying.
Chapter Sixteen
Damon’s head pounded and the handful of painkillers he’d taken that morning had done very little to touch it. He thought about taking more, but didn’t bother. He deserved the pain. Hell, he deserved a lot more than a headache. He welcomed it as penance to his behavior from the night before.
His hand reached up to touch his cheek where Katie had slapped him. The mark was long gone. But the sting of it remained. He almost wished it had left a mark. It would have served as a visual reminder of what an asshole he’d been.
Damon almost never drank as much as he had the night before. And there was a reason for it. Alcohol had a tendency to loosen his tongue and it made him say things that he didn’t mean.
Like most of what he’d said to Katie the night before.
Most.
Because he’d also said a lot of things he’d meant.
Maybe he should have said more?
Damon squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, causing a fresh round of pain to shoot through his temple. Good. He needed to remember how, in just one night, he’d let his jealousy and insecurities ruin everything he had with her. Or could have.
Because after all, they were good together.
Drunk or not, Damon remembered very clearly the look on Katie’s face when he’d said that. Of course it had been true. He did think they were good together, but more than anything, he thought a whole lot more than that. It went way beyond just functioning well as a partnership. Way beyond that. He loved her. He was absolutely sure of it. And maybe love was making him act like an ass. Not that it was an excuse, but…an explanation?
It wasn’t good enough.
Damon rubbed at his face and tried once more to focus on the papers in front of him. The real estate contract from his father. His lawyers had sent them over for final review. All he had to do was sign them.
But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He pushed the papers away and pulled out another envelope. The loan documents for Katie’s store. They’d also arrived the day before. But instead of telling Katie, he’d tucked them away. Also unwilling to sign them.
Both documents represented everything that was wrong about their relationship. And that was bullshit, because there was way more good about them than wrong. There always had been.
Katie had stormed out the night before. It had been the first night he’d spent away from her in just over a week, yet it felt like a lifetime. How could he not remember at all what an empty bed felt like?
If it hadn’t been for the alcohol, Damon never would have slept at all. It was a small mercy, really.
Just for good measure, Katie had taken his truck keys with her when she left. It had probably been a good idea, because no doubt he would have tried to go after her, despite the state he was in. He assumed she’d gone to her mother’s. An assumption that was confirmed when Logan showed up with his truck keys about an hour earlier. Thankfully, he hadn’t said anything to indicate that Katie had told him about their fight. That was a good sign, right?
A sign of what?
That she was keeping their secret as promised? Or maybe, and more likely, that he’d screwed up more than even he thought he had.
Oh yeah, he’d definitely screwed things up. Damon pushed away from the desk and the papers. He walked to the window and looked out at the gray day. He was a smart man. Some might even say a genius. But genius or not, he could be pretty friggin’ stupid. He put his hand straight on the glass in front of him and leaned in.
He refused to believe that it was over. Not like that. Not from a drunk night. And definitely not if he had a say in it.
An idea began to formulate as his mind cleared from the drunken fuzz. He moved toward the desk and the paperwork scattered there that only a few days ago had felt like the most important thing in the world. But he’d been wrong. Katie was the only thing that mattered.
And he was going to prove it.
With a deep inhale, Damon nodded, his decision made, and gathered up the papers. He took one last look at the view—his view—before making his way down the path to the main house…and his father.
It felt as if Katie had only just fallen asleep when the sun began to peek through the curtains of her bedroom.
Her childhood bedroom at home on the ranch.
She stretched her arms over her head and felt the pull in her muscles. And for one brief moment, she managed to forget.
It was just an ordinary day, waking up in her ordinary house. Just like every other day.
Except it wasn’t.
There was nothing ordinary about her days lately.
And after that fight with Damon, there was definitely not going to be anything even remotely ordinary about this day either.
Reluctantly, Katie forced herself out of bed and made her way into the kitchen, where her mother was taking a tray of muffins from the oven.
“Good morning, sweetie.”
“That smells delicious.”
“They just need to cool.” Her mother smiled, but there was an unasked question in her eyes and Katie knew she was dying to know why her newlywed daughter was currently waking up in her childhood bedroom. “Help yourself to coffee. Sugar’s on the table.”
Katie poured herself a steaming mug and took it to the table, where she sat in her usual chair. She contemplated how much to tell her mother about why she was really there. Was there even a point in keeping up the facade anymore? Clearly, she and Damon weren’t going to go through with the whole “staying married” thing. It was probably a stupid idea in the first place. She nev
er should have married him. That had been the first bad idea, of course, followed by so many others. But none of them had been nearly as bad as believing even for a second that he could actually love her. Like, love her love her.
She dropped her head into her hands.
“So?” Debbie put the muffins on the table and it was the combination of the delicious aroma and her mother’s question that made Katie lift her head.
“Blueberry?” She ignored her mother’s question and reached for a muffin. It was too hot, so she dropped it back on the plate and put her fingers to her lips.
Her mother raised an eyebrow. “They need to cool, so you might as well tell me what’s been going on.”
Katie looked into her mother’s eyes and that’s when she knew that her mother’s question went deeper than requesting an explanation for why she had slept at home.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“The truth, Katie.” Her mother’s voice was soft, and without judgment. “Always the truth. And just start at the beginning, okay?” Her smile was kind and encouraging as she poured cream from the pottery creamer jug Katie had made in the fifth grade into her coffee.
Katie nodded. The truth. She could do that.
So she did.
Slowly, and carefully, Katie told her mother everything, starting with the phone call from Damon asking for the favor, to the meeting with Anthony Banks that pushed up the wedding, to the kiss and the…well, she left out specific details, but her mom got the gist. Katie spoke about the wedding, and the feelings she actually felt for him. The love that she didn’t even know she’d had for her best friend, so that when they decided to actually stay married, it had felt like the exact perfect thing. And finally, she ended her story by telling her mother about their fight the night before that had resulted in her storming out.
When she was finished speaking, she finally reached for a muffin and pulled a chunk from it to stuff in her mouth.
A flash of movement from the corner of her eye distracted her, and Katie turned just in time to see Logan’s back in the hallway before she heard the slam of the front door.
Had he heard her? Did it even matter if he had?
Katie shook her head, resigned, and turned back to her mom, who still hadn’t spoken.
Her mom was quiet for so long that Katie wondered whether she’d heard anything she’d just said. Finally, she looked up to see her mom with tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Mom. Please don’t cry.” Katie dropped the muffin. “I’m so sorry for lying to you and everyone else.”
“I knew,” her mother said slowly.
“You knew?”
“Well, I knew something was up,” Debbie explained. “After the wedding, when Anthony mentioned ElkView and selling it to a married couple.”
Of course.
“It all just made a little more sense, you know?”
Katie nodded. “I know it was a terrible thing to do and wrong for so many reasons but Damon really wanted ElkView and Mr. Banks wasn’t being reasonable about it at all and then he told me he’d give me the money to start up the Hub.” The moment the words were out of her mouth, she realized how terrible they sounded. “I mean, that’s not why I did it. I mean, Damon would have loaned me the money anyway, but…oh God. Everyone is going to think I’m a gold digger.”
Being home was supposed to make her feel better. But maybe that just wasn’t an option right now.
“Is that the real problem?” Her mother’s tears had stopped and she sat perfectly still, staring across the table at her daughter. “You’re worried about what everyone will think?”
Katie didn’t even have to think about the question. No. That was far from the real problem. She shook her head.
“I didn’t think so.” She was silent for a moment before she asked, “Tell me what the real problem is, Katie. Why are you really upset?”
Katie took a deep breath and let it fill her completely before exhaling. “I love him,” she said simply. “I don’t even think I realized it, but I’m completely in love with him.”
Slowly, her mom’s face changed and a smile stretched across her features. “I know you do.”
“You do?”
Debbie laughed. “Do you remember when only a few days ago I was telling you that I’ve known for years?”
Slowly, Katie nodded.
“I’m not going to pretend that what you both did was okay. Because it wasn’t.” Her mother’s face hardened for a moment. “But I also don’t think anything I can say will punish you any more than the hurt you’re going through right now.” She took a thoughtful sip of her coffee. “What I don’t understand is why you finally realizing how much you love Damon is a problem?”
Katie didn’t know whether it was her mother’s understanding, the restless sleep she’d had the night before, the question itself, or just the buildup of emotion that had finally hit a boiling point, but tears began to pour unchecked from her eyes as she gave in to a snotty, snorting, ugly cry. Her mom waited patiently for her to get control of herself and finally when Katie trusted herself enough to speak again, she told her the simple truth. “He doesn’t love me back. Not like that. You were wrong, Mom. We weren’t ever meant to be.”
Damon found his father in the living room at ElkView, just as he knew he would. He stopped in the entry of the living room and stared out the huge picture window at the view and everything he was about to give up. But as much as he loved it, it was nothing compared to what he’d already lost when Katie walked out.
“Are you going to stand there all day? Come in already.” His dad’s rough voice interrupted his thoughts.
Damon looked down at the papers in his hand. ElkView was already his.
But it was all based on a lie.
A lie that had effectively destroyed everything that really mattered.
With a sigh, Damon stepped inside the room. “I have to tell you something, Dad.” He moved through the room until he stood next to his father, who hadn’t yet looked away from the view.
“Isn’t it something?” his dad asked, as if Damon hadn’t spoken. “There’s just no place like it, is there?”
Damon shook his head. “There’s really not.”
“I know you love it here as much as I do, Damon. Maybe more. I’m glad that you’re going to raise your family here.”
The guilt washed over him fresh. “About that, Dad. I need to—”
“I was wrong, Damon.”
“Pardon?” He stared at his dad, openmouthed. He’d never once heard his father admit to being wrong. “About what?”
“ElkView always should have been yours.” He still hadn’t looked at Damon. “I was wrong to offer it for sale. I…” His voice cracked and his head drooped.
Damon shifted from foot to foot. Was his father crying? He didn’t know what to say, so instead he waited for his father to compose himself.
After a moment, Anthony cleared his throat awkwardly and continued. “Your mother would have been so angry at me for keeping ElkView from you.”
“You didn’t, Dad. I’m going to…” His words trailed away and he looked at the papers in his hand that would have officially made ElkView his.
“But I did, Damon.” Finally, his father turned to him. Damon had never seen such sadness in his father’s eyes. Not since his mother died. “I put the restrictions on the purchase because I knew you wouldn’t be able to meet them.”
His dad’s confession hit him in the gut. He’d actively tried to keep his childhood home from him?
But was he really surprised? He’d always known that was his dad’s plan, hadn’t he?
Damon shook his head slowly but before he could ask, his dad spoke again.
“I’m sorry, Damon. It was wrong.”
“But why?” He ignored the apology. “Why would you do that? This is my home.”
Anthony nodded slowly. “It is. And like I said, it was wrong. I never should have done what I did. I was just so…” When he looked up, his eyes shone wi
th unshed tears. Damon had never seen his dad cry. Ever. “I think on some level, I wanted to punish you because she loved you more.”
Damon took a step backward as the words hit him. “What?” He shook his head, completely unable to process what his father had just said. “Who? Mom?”
Anthony nodded but still, there was nothing but sadness on his face. “I don’t expect you to understand this, son. I barely understand it myself. And maybe it’s old age that’s finally helped me realize what I should have seen all along. Coming face-to-face with death will do that to you, you know? You start to look at things differently.”
“You’re not dying, Dad.”
“I am.” His father let his lips flicker up into a slight smile. “But that’s not what this is about.” He cleared his throat with a wet, rattling cough. “I never forgave you for being her favorite.”
“I was her son.”
“Before you came along,” he continued as if Damon hadn’t spoken, “oh, the way she would look at me. As if I held the moon for her. I’ve never been loved like that. Not before, and not after.” He looked down at his lap for a moment. “And when you came along, it all changed. And for years, it didn’t matter. We were a happy family. Envied by everyone who knew us. But when you got a little older, that’s when I noticed. I could never compete with what she felt for you.”
“Again,” Damon repeated himself, “I was her son. You weren’t supposed to compete with me.”
“I know.” Anthony nodded slowly. “I know that now. But I was too immature, too jealous, too headstrong, too…well, I was a lot of things, Damon. But I was not a good father. And because of that, I failed as a husband. She never said anything, never told me I wasn’t enough. But I could see it in her eyes when I would turn you away. And for that, I hate myself. Not only for the years I lost with you, and for all the ways you didn’t have a father you could depend on, but also for the way I failed the love of my life.
“I am deeply regretful, Damon. And it wasn’t until I saw you with Katie that I truly understood the depth of what I’d done.”