by Nolan Fury
Emma pulled off my shoes, and I stepped out of my pants and kicked them aside. I was completely naked and throbbing. All of my blood had rushed to a particular area which didn’t leave much left for my brain. I felt like I was in some type of daze. A fantasy filled stupor. But this wasn’t a fantasy. This was reality. I pinched my arm just to make sure.
“Close your eyes,” she whispered. “I’m shy.”
If this was her definition of shy, I’d certainly like to see bold. I could feel her hot breath on my junk as she whispered. The sensation sent me through the roof. I didn’t know for sure what she was going to do next, but I had a pretty good idea. The anticipation was killing me.
I started making plans for how I was going to deal with the ecstasy. I needed to be able to last long enough to satisfy her, but I was seriously worried about that. My first time, with the hottest girl on campus? I might make the record for shortest duration. I was pretty confident that running calculus equations in my mind, recounting baseball statistics, or visualizing unpleasant scenarios might allow me to hold out longer. But as it stood, I felt like I was going to pop the instant she touched me.
I kept waiting for her hands, or mouth, to embrace me. But that never happened. Instead, I heard the door fling open, and a brilliant shaft of light illuminated the closet like the rays from a burning sun.
It took me a moment to realize what happened. I glanced around the closet—Emma was gone.
So were my clothes.
I was standing there, buck naked, with my little man pointing toward the stars.
The music had stopped, and the entire party laughed at me.
I tried to cover my junk, but it was hard to do in its current state. My hand reached for the door handle in an attempt to yank it shut, but a big frat boy held it open for all to see.
I had been set up.
Sorority girls pointed and snickered. Frat boys laughed maniacally. My eyes found Emma standing with her sorority sisters giggling. She shrugged, unapologetically, holding my crumpled clothing. I figured this prank was part of her initiation into the sorority.
It didn’t take long for my redwood to wither and die. I was mortified. My cheeks flushed red.
“Hey, you fucking freak!” the big bouncer guy yelled. “What the hell are you doing?”
I gulped as my eyes glanced up at the big fellow. He snarled at me, his face flushed with anger. His clenched fists were like blocks of concrete. The muscles in his biceps flexed, and veins bulged under his skin.
“You better get your ass out of here before I call the campus police, you little creeper!”
“But, I didn’t do anything,” I stammered.
“I’ve got a bunch of brothers that say you forced the girl into the closet.”
My eyes widened with disbelief. “That’s bullshit!” My eyes searched for my high school crush, hoping for support. “Emma, tell him!”
Emma started to say something, but a nudge from her pledge sisters silenced her quickly. She had a conflicted look on her face, and I could tell she saw the little prank was quickly getting out of hand. But she wasn’t about to jeopardize her chances of being accepted into the sorority.
“Get out!” the door guy commanded.
“Can I at least get my clothes back?”
“Now!” he growled.
His voice rumbled through my chest. I decided it was best to get out of there as soon as possible, but the thought of marching across campus in my birthday suit was terrifying. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. The last thing I needed was to get arrested and charged as some kind of perverted wacko.
I was so distraught. I wanted to cry. My world had collapsed. Even if I didn’t get arrested, this incident was going to follow me the rest of my campus career.
I shot Emma a pitiful look that was mixed with rage, betrayal, and sadness. It was hard to fathom how someone that I had been so attracted to could be so cruel.
I should have known better. The promise of tonight was too good to be true. A girl like Emma couldn’t possibly have been interested in me. Why couldn’t I have seen that?
Stupid hormones.
I wondered how many bad decisions my dick was going to make for me over the course of my life. I wished I’d stayed in my dorm and played Galactic Wars with the guys.
The crowd of partygoers parted as I scurried toward the front door. I heard one of Emma’s sorority sisters say, “I can’t believe you had to kiss him. Gross! You should, like, totally wash your mouth out.”
“It was all for a good cause,” another sorority sister said.
I streaked across the porch and down the steps, into the yard. People outside shrieked and laughed and pointed.
I ran down the street, clutching my boys. Streetlights overhead buzzed, bathing the avenue in a sickly light. I felt like a vampire trying to avoid the exposing rays. I ducked into an alley between the houses and took cover in the shadows behind a shrub. Somehow I was going to have to get across campus to my dorm room, without getting arrested.
The world began to turn as I grew lightheaded. My stomach rumbled, and I felt like I was going to puke. I needed to calm down and come up with a plan. I’m sure I wasn’t the first college kid in history that had to run across campus completely naked.
5
I had one chance at survival. Kingston Hall was just too far across campus. There was no way I could make it there in my current condition.
From where I was standing, I could see the tall light poles of the stadium. Fortunately, they weren’t on. The open-air stadium was massive. A concrete monument to gladiatorial combat. Weekends brought throngs of crowds to watch these heroes of the turf demolish each other. Fortunately, the game was tomorrow night.
The stadium sat lifeless and empty. It was only a few blocks away. The athletic center was attached, and housed the locker rooms, training facility, coaches’ offices, and medical center.
I stayed in the shadows, weaving my way between houses and academic structures. Landscaping was my friend. I dashed from tree to tree, shrub to shrub, trying to avoid crowds. Students with backpacks slung over their shoulders strolled the sidewalks. It wasn’t as crowded as in the daytime, but plenty of studious types visited the library and gathered with friends on campus.
The athletic center was ensconced with a chain-link fence. The gate was secured with a padlock and a heavy chain.
I let go of the boys and grabbed onto the links and climbed up the fence. Snagging my sack on the top of the fence wasn’t something I was keen on doing, so I was particularly careful straddling the ridge. I dropped down to the asphalt on the other side and ran across the lot. The first door I found to the locker room was locked. I tugged on it to no avail.
I sneaked around the side of the building. There had to be another way in. I checked the windows, but they were all latched shut. Every door I found was secured. There was no getting into the building.
I was about to give up hope when my eyes caught sight of a second-story window that was slightly ajar. I knew if I could get inside the athletic center I could find a jersey or a pair of sweatpants—something, anything, to cover my privates.
A black vertical pipe ran alongside the building. I assumed it fed the sprinkler system. I grabbed onto the pipe and shimmied skyward. Fortunately, I was on the far side of the building, away from the street. Nobody was going to witness my pale ass climbing the side of the building.
The pipe was dirty and grimy, and after a few pulls, my hands were covered with a coat of greasy dirt. My biceps flexed with all their might, pulling my small frame up the pipe until I was about 12 feet off the ground. I reached for the window ledge, but it was just out of my grasp. I exhaled with frustration as my fingers danced inches from the sill.
It was only a second-story window, but when I looked down, I felt like I was on top of the Empire State building. A fall from 12 feet would likely break something in my body.
If I was going to get inside the athletic center, I was going to have to take a
leap of faith. I would need to swing out, grab the ledge with one hand, hang on for dear life, and pull myself in through the open window.
A row of thorny hedges below the window taunted me to fall. I imagined the prickly thorns slicing my skin, embedding into my flesh, needing to be surgically removed.
Note to self: no more frat parties.
Crickets chirped. Frogs croaked. The brilliant moon shone down upon me, the overlord of all things mischievous.
I took a deep breath, said a small prayer, and jumped for the ledge.
Life slowed down and seemed to move frame by frame, like some type of over-cranked action movie. I flew through the air. My sack dangled in the breeze. One hand grabbed the ledge. Then the other.
I made it!
I was still alive!
For the time being.
I glanced down at the spiky shrubs and sneered at them. This was one time when I was glad I had a light frame. I pulled myself up and climbed through the window, rattling the horizontal blinds. They clamored, swaying back and forth as I crashed to the floor.
I staggered to my feet and breathed a sigh of relief. I was in a coach’s office. I was finally out of sight. No one could see me here.
The room was small. There was a desk, a chair, a bookshelf, a computer terminal, and athletic gear. A signed football was in a glass case on the shelf. Posters of football players lined the wall. A team schedule was tacked against the sheet rock.
I moved to the door and cracked it open, peering into the hallway. The area was clear. Pale moonlight filtered in through windows. I slid out of the coach’s office and walked down the hall, toward the stairwell. My bare feet slapped against the tile. I pushed through the steel fire door and spiraled down the metal steps to the first floor. Then I slipped into the locker room.
It smelled like muscle cream and body odor. I guess this is what victory smelled like. Rows of jerseys and pants hung in cubbyholes. Players names, carved into acetate plates, were affixed to the top frame of each cubbyhole.
A smile tugged at my lips, and my heart settled. It wasn’t ideal, but at least I was going to have something to wear home. I grabbed a jersey and a pair of football pants.
The red jersey swallowed me whole. It fit me like a dress and came down to my knees. I pulled up the pants and cinched them at the waist. I drew the belt strap as tight as it would go, and the waistline still hung low on my hips. These things were supposed to fit tight and stop at the knees, but these were baggy and came down to my ankles. I looked like a kid playing dress-up. It was ridiculous, but it was better than walking home with my dork hanging out.
A flashlight beam raked across the wall.
I dashed out of its path and took cover around the corner. It looked like a security guard was nosing about, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out. Maybe someone had seen me enter the building and called the campus police?
Great! Exactly what I needed! The charge of breaking and entering and theft added to my public nudity and assault charges.
This was shaping up to be a stellar evening.
I ran down the hall and ducked into an office. I gently pulled the door shut behind me, then scampered to the window. I pulled the string and drew the blinds, unlatched the window, and carefully slid it open, trying not to make any noise.
The night air hit me in the face, along with the sounds of the night creatures. Just beneath the window were those damn prickly bushes.
I crawled onto the ledge and balanced myself, squatting on the edge. Then I catapulted myself into the air, launching over the shrubs. I tumbled and rolled as I landed on the grass on the other side of the hedge, staining the white football pants green.
I sprang to my feet and ran toward the chain-link fence. I didn’t look back. I hit the links, rattling the metal and scaled the fence like a parkour expert. I hit the ground on the other side and took off running. My legs drove me forward, and my chest heaved for breath. Wind rustled my hair and whipped past my ears. I don’t know if anybody was following me or not, but I didn’t stop until I was several blocks away. I drew plenty of curious looks along the way.
I ducked into an alley and hunched over my knees, sucking wind. My lungs were on fire, and my quads burned. Sweat covered my body. The adrenaline had burned off any effects of the alcohol that I had imbibed earlier. My sweat smelled like vodka.
I huddled there for a few minutes, trying to catch my breath. I stood tall and started toward the mouth of the alley, but a figure rounded the corner and blocked the path. He was covered in shadow. I couldn’t see his face.
My heart jumped.
Maybe it was campus police?
I squinted my eyes, trying to get a better look.
He didn’t look like campus police. But he took an aggressive stance.
I decided to go the other way. As I spun around, another ominous figure blocked the other end of the alleyway.
This seemed like trouble.
Maybe these were angry frat boys from the party looking for somebody to play punching bag? I swallowed hard, and my heart tried to punch through my chest.
There wasn’t anywhere for me to go. I glanced around the alley, looking for an escape route—a doorway, a fire escape, a pipe to shimmy up. But there was nothing.
The alley was littered with a few scraps of paper that fluttered in the breeze. A full dumpster spewed a foul smell into the air. Brick buildings towered above me. The two goons at either end of the alley were twice my size, and it didn’t seem like they had any intention of letting me pass.
A light flickered in one of the goon’s palms. At first I thought it was the flame from a lighter. But then it grew into an amber ball of swirling energy. It illuminated his diabolical face and cast a glow on the brick walls.
This whole evening had been so bizarre already that I was convinced it was some kind of crazy nightmare. This couldn’t be real. These kinds of things just don’t happen.
The ball of energy grew, then suddenly, the goon hurled it toward me. It rocketed down the alleyway like a bolt of lightning. The ball hit me in the chest and knocked me to the ground. My back slapped the asphalt, and my head cracked on impact. Pain enveloped my entire body. My head throbbed. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was dying, and I probably was.
I struggled to bring air into my lungs, but my body had stopped listening to my brain. My vision filled with a brilliant white light. Was I going to heaven?
Or Hell?
Out of the glowing light, and angelic face appeared before me. She knelt down beside my immobilized body. She was gorgeous. She had to be a hallucination. She had purple hair, and long elf-ears. She had flawless skin, sculpted cheekbones, and crystal blue eyes. If I was going to die, at least she would be the last thing that I saw.
6
I couldn’t explain what happened. Nothing made any logical sense. And things were only going to get stranger.
My eyes fluttered open. The alley slowly came into focus. I gasped for breath, and my body finally responded. Air filled my lungs, and the burning sensation dissipated. I sat up on my elbows and glanced around. My head still throbbed. The girl that had hovered over me was gone. And so were the thugs.
Something else was strange.
The alley didn’t look familiar.
It wasn’t the same one.
I had awoken in a completely different location!
I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to clear my vision. I pinched my arm again to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I staggered to my feet and felt my chest where I had been hit by the ball of energy. That’s when I noticed something really weird.
The big jersey that I had been wearing fit me like a glove. My chest was no longer flat, but rippled with muscle. I glanced down to my bulging biceps.
What the hell was going on?
I looked at my football pants, and they were tight. They came up to my knees instead of my ankles. I had to be at least 6’2”.
I flexed my arm and watched my bicep curl into a mountain.
It felt good. I felt powerful.
Somehow, my father’s ring increased in size to fit my finger, which was clearly bigger than it had been.
I stumbled through the alleyway to the sidewalk. Passersby stared at my strange choice of clothing—their eyes wide with perplexed faces.
I had to admit, their clothing looked strange to me as well. Sleek and futuristic. Shimmering fabrics that didn’t wrinkle. My eyes scanned the surrounding architecture.
I certainly wasn’t on campus anymore.
None of this looked familiar. I wasn’t even in the same city. The towering skyscrapers were architectural marvels. Smooth lines, graceful curves, steep angles. Futuristic cars and trucks zipped down the avenue. Aerodynamic masterpieces. I noticed that some of the cars didn’t even have drivers. They were fully automated. I shook my head and blinked several times, trying to clear my eyes. But this was no hallucination.
I glanced to the sky, but it wasn’t really there. A clear dome encased the city. It had octagonal patterns in the glass. Beyond it was the cosmos. Stars flickered, and the blackness of space enveloped the city.
I was pretty sure I was no longer on Earth.
Where the hell am I?
Just as the thought entered my mind, a stat screen appeared before me.
[Location: Vega Station.]
[Population: 5,654,231.]
The screen disappeared from my vision an instant later. What the hell was that about, I wondered?
I strolled down the sidewalk as hordes of people passed by. Vega Station was a sprawling metropolis somewhere in space. It seemed to function like any other city. I couldn’t imagine how I could have gotten here. Unless it had something to do with the angelic girl? Was I in Heaven?
I could smell the exhaust from passing cars. Certainly they didn’t have pollution in Heaven.
I stopped in my tracks as I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective glass of a building. It was me, but different. My jaw was squared. My features were chiseled. I still had the same blue eyes. But I was a lot better looking. I lifted up my shirt and stared at my rippled apps. The muscle cuts were deep and defined. I could certainly model underwear with a body like this. But where the hell did it come from?