like her dad, too good to be true. Her work baggage was full of imbalance and the need to work long hours to prevent her fear of failure. Just this morning Camille strapped on baggage for church hurt. Mrs. Carol gifted that piece of luggage with her ugly remarks and mean spirit. Nevertheless, she was determined to cast all these cares on the Master. According to Pastor Caine and Peter, He wanted her burdens and anxiety.
Benjamin’s chained baggage was that he held other people’s baggage. Pastor Caine’s message was divinely inspired. Benjamin received from it that he could help carry Mrs. Carol’s burden of grief by praying for her, giving her a listening
ear, helping her enroll in counseling, and showing her love. However, he could not let her refusal to heal from grief become his baggage. The light bulb went off for Ben. If he continued to carry Lauren’s mother’s grief, he would lose his future.
Ben wrote a one-liner on his baggage card, other peoples.
In twenty-two minutes, Pastor Caine delivered a message of deliverance. As he ministered, he started to unlock and remove the chained luggage on his person. He explained Hebrews 12:1, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Pastor Cain finished the sermon asking a key question.
“Have you entered the race with Christ? If you are not in the race, you must accept Jesus as your personal savior. If you are in the race, you must prepare yourself to finish the race well. A runner when racing dresses light so they may run a diligent race. We as Christians cannot run diligently if we are loaded with baggage. Therefore, we must cast and throw down the weights of: not forgiving others, anxiety, and doubt. We must do away with sins; doing things, we know are wrong. We must look to Jesus for our help. It is not always easy to do this. Liberty Church is here to help you. We offer free counseling for individuals, couples, family, and grief counseling by licensed therapists.”
Pastor Caine extended his hands toward the congregation. “The praise and worship team is coming to minister to our hearts through song. Please take your notecards and list the baggage you want to release today. Come throw it on the altar and leave it there. The elders are here to pray with you and the spirit of Christ is here to heal you.”
The praise and worship ministry began to sing Tasha Cobb’s version of “Break Every Chain”. The aisles of the sanctuary were filled with people eager to release their baggage and lay aside their weights and sin. Kevin, Paige, Camille, and Benjamin were among those people.
Not one of them would ever be the same again.
Chapter 1
Reflections
It was five o’clock in the morning, as Karen walked barefoot along the shoreline of the Atlantic Ocean. She was taking in the picturesque scenery. It was the first morning of her honeymoon with Frankie, and their three-year-old
daughter, Nikki. Frankie and Nikki were asleep in their condominium. The thought of being someone’s wife made Karen smile and shake her head in disbelief. She thought about the charming ceremony and reception she had yesterday. Although, something did not sit right with her about her cake collapsing; nevertheless, she
and her friends were able to pull together a fabulous day in just two weeks. It was a long and exhausting day. The night was made even longer as she and her family caught the last flight from Memphis, Tennessee to Hilton Head, South Carolina. They were staying at the Disney Resort on the island. She and Frankie had chosen to bring Nikki on their honeymoon, because she was the catalyst that allowed their love to be possible.
It was after midnight when they arrived and Karen was exhausted. However, she was up at 4:30 a.m. too excited to sleep. She was full of nervous energy from the events of the past twenty-four hours. She didn’t want to wake her husband and daughter; she decided to go for a walk to think. As she walked down the beach, she was in awe of how life could change so quickly.
Karen inhaled fresh air from the breeze that came off the ocean’s waves. She stopped to admire the exquisite site of the slow sunrise, while the cool waves forcefully came up to her ankles. How wonderful that God spoke this into
existence. It was marvelous and she gave thanks to the Creator of All, for this beautiful day that He had made.
Karen began to walk again, smiling at the other early risers along the way. Some were walking, while others were riding bikes. She could not wait to experience this magnificent island and the rich traditions it held with Frankie and Nikki.
Karen began to recall the countless moments that she experienced trauma and disappointment in her life. Knowing where she came from simply made her present situation unbelievable. Karen had kept her past buried within herself, only telling Camille vaguely about t her mother’s death. And how she lived on her own as a teenager. Her past life was a deck of cards she preferred to hold close to her chest. She rationalized that it did not matter where she had come from, only where she was now, and where she would be in the future.
However, sometimes like now, when all was right in the world, she had to look back at all she had escaped. She had committed some unimaginable deeds to get where she was. She had been through so much, starting with losing her mother to murder as a child—a murder that had eventually been classified as a cold case. Karen was then awarded by the state of Tennessee; to an aunt she had only met a couple of times. Aunt Esther, who lived in Little Rock, Arkansas, had always seemed okay the couple of times Karen met her; but living with her proved differently. Aunt Esther treated Karen awful. Aunt Esther used her for housekeeping, babysitting, and entertainment needs. If Karen didn’t do a task to Aunt Esther’s satisfaction she was physically beaten. Surviving the pain of her adolescent years and not being consumed by it all, was because of the Lord’s mercy. That thought reminded Karen of one of her favorite gospel songs by Eddie James. She pulled out her mobile and pulled up the music app. She scrolled down to her encouragement playlist, that her best friend and boss Camille had made for her, and selected “Great is thy Faithfulness.” Karen listened to the lyrics that could
have been written exclusively for her. The song, spoke of looking back over one’s past and seeing that the Lord has always been there, blessing and protecting them. It referenced Lamentations 3:22-24: “It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”
Karen allowed her mind to go back to the horrors she endured day after day with Aunt Esther, who saw her as nothing more than a means to an end. One way was the monthly government check she received. Aunt Esther rarely purchased Karen anything outside of the two meals she ate daily and the roof over her head. In addition to the check, there was the money that came from the men that Aunt Esther would force Karen to be with. Karen endured sexual abuse for years until she couldn’t take it any longer. At the age of sixteen, she ran away from what should have been a home but was nothing more than a brothel. She lived as a ragamuffin on the streets and soon joined a gang called The CREW. The gang members were her family. She took care of them and they did the same for her.
Taking care of The CREW was not as straightforward as Aunt Esther’s demands; she committed crimes in the name of the “family” against others. She had gone from bad to worse. She did not enjoy the illegal and dark parts of gang life, but what could she do? The CREW members protected her from the worst elements of the street life. By the time she was eighteen, she was in love with her best friend Mario Clemmons, another run-a-way who was making his way up in rank with The CREW.
Karen grimaced. As a mature adult with a daughter, she realized what a risk she had taken by joining The CREW. She would never want that for Nikki and would do everything possible to keep her from making the same mistakes. The fact
that she joined a gang to have some semblance of family, she knew was sad. Back then, she didn’t know any better and it was her only way to survive. The only person that loved her wa
s dead, and if she had continued to live with Aunt Esther, she would have become a murderer. Her anger, hatred, and resentment ran that deep for Aunt Esther. Karen was never able to have any type of closure with her aunt. She was contacted by the State of Arkansas several years ago to claim Aunt Esther’s body. She had died of a stroke. Karen went back and claimed the body, paid to have it cremated, and sold the house. She donated the proceeds of the sale to a local charity for homeless teens. Remembering herself as a teen, she thought she needed The CREW. They made her feel wanted; the first time since her mother’s death she belonged to someone other than herself.
Little did she know when she joined that she did indeed belong to The CREW, and there was only one way out of their “family.” She found out how on a fateful night that changed her life forever. The night she was robbed of her soul and whipped within an inch of her life.
After spending years in The CREW doing things she would take to her
grave, it was a miracle she was never arrested for her crimes. Mario was the reason for that. He always made sure that no evidence pointed in her direction. She
wanted out of the life before that changed and she was locked behind bars like so many of her CREW family. She convinced herself she would be okay with conveying that to Leroy, her block captain. Karen thought she had a great reason
for them to let her go; she was twenty-two years old now and pregnant. She wanted to enroll in Junior College. When Mario started making enough money to pay their bills, she went to night school, studied for the test, and earned her GED. She desperately wanted her baby and to have a gang-free life.
She did not tell Mario about her plan. She felt she could handle the backlash from him after it was over. She knew Mario had her back and would take care of her, he always had. She had been so wrong. Karen had been naïve to think that she could just say, “Hey I have decided to be a normal citizen, I plan to go to college, and have my baby. Thanks for allowing me to kick it with you for the past six
years and for making sure, I survived the streets as a runaway. Deuces!”
Karen’s entire being still quaked when she recalled the way Leroy’s eyes changed from a light brown to nearly black, and his hand lifted and came down on her face with a resounding slap. Karen’s ears began to ring. Blood escaped from her mouth and gushed from her nose. Leroy shouted his spittle landing on the side of her burning face.
“There is only one way out this mf’er and that is with a life! It can be yours, that seed in your belly, or both, doesn’t matter to me shorty, but that is how you resign from The CREW!”
In a flash the beating resumed, and left her with a detached retina in one eye (that was currently held together by a surgical buckle), a broken arm, and emotional scars that remained to this day.
After Leroy was satisfied that he had beaten Karen close enough to death he called Mario. Leroy informed him that a runner had dropped Karen off at the Emergency Room. After Mario eyeballed the injuries Leroy had inflicted on his love, he was in a frenzy. He comforted Karen, and assured her of his love. He promised her she would have their baby, a beautiful little girl. He made a vow to her that everything would be ok. When Karen drifted off to sleep that night, Mario went to confront Leroy. However, Mario did not receive an explanation for his
concerns, nor did he receive a beat down like Karen. Leroy quietly took out his gun
and shot Mario in between the eyes, while members of The CREW watched.
Mario’s body was disposed of and Karen never got a chance to say goodbye.
Karen was in the hospital when she received the news and suffered a miscarriage, their little girl would never be. She was left feeling guilt for Mario
and their unborn child’s death. She carried the guilt, pain, and shame silently. That night haunted Karen in her dreams incessantly.
To ensure she never forgot all she had lost, she celebrated annually the anniversary of the night she lost it all. It was her very own holiday of lamentations and regrets. On that death day—D-Day— she would drink herself into a stupor. She would drink until she had lost all feeling emotionally and was physically numb. She felt she deserved to be miserable; everything that happened that night
was her fault. Therefore, each year on D-Day she would lose herself in alcohol and some type of drug. She would grieve for what and who she lost due to her poor choices.
It was on one of those nights, years later that Frankie approached her at the bar in Huey’s Restaurant on Madison Avenue, in Memphis Tennessee. She had been sitting there for three hours ordering drink after drink. It had only taken Frankie asking once for her to agree to a hook up with in him in a local hotel. Karen went the stranger whose last name she did not know, she needed to free herself from the guilt. She went and when Frankie sat down at the table in the shabby hotel room, while he readied lines of cocaine. He passed her the rolled up dollar, she took it, and snorted the blow.
Karen wiped the tears from her face. Others on the beach were starting to stare at her crying. The lyrics to her song, which was on auto-repeat, rang true to her core. It was because of the Lord’s mercy that she was not consumed.
Mario’s death was enough for the high-ranking officers of The CREW to let her go. When she was released from the hospital, she scurried back to Memphis with the money from her joint bank account with Mario. It was enough for her to rent a one-bedroom apartment—paying eighteen months in advance, buy furniture, and food.
Karen began to work as a waitress at a strip club and eventually became an exotic dancer. She stayed clear of any drugs and alcohol, using her money to pay for tuition at the community college she attended. She started off doing only lap dances, which ended on the first year anniversary of Mario’s death. That night she got drunk and went home with a stranger, experimented with ecstasy, and had sex until the early morning. The next day she re-grouped and lived her life as if nothing happened; she continued to do the same thing every year after.
Karen kept her dark secret. She could not break the habit no matter how her life changed for the better. She met Camille James when she was hired as an intern at I.T.S, and was elated to find out Ms. James was the owner. Camille was impressive, with beauty, brains, and a good heart. The two of them developed a friendship immediately and she could not have asked for a better boss or friend. Karen was hired full time as Camille’s Executive Assistant upon obtaining her Associates Degree in Business. I.T.S had an awesome benefits package, with
health insurance, vacation, sick days, and tuition reimbursement. Camille encouraged her to go back for her Bachelor’s Degree. Then she met Paige Richards, a totally hotheaded diva, who made Karen want to call on her street days and beat some sense into her. She could not do that because Paige came with Camille’s package. However, over the years the three of them had become sisters and had one another’s back.
Despite all the good things in her life, it was finding out that she was pregnant that stopped D-Day from recurring. Karen would never regret Nikki. She had saved her. Now she had Frankie, and although she abhorred the precarious behavior she chose to numb her guilt and pain, she knew she was blessed. She knew it could have turned out tragically. But God! What was the likelihood that she would have a chance reunion with Frankie? When Camille was in the hospital, recovering from being hit by a drunken driver, she and Nikki had needed a ride
home. Paige and Kevin agreed to take her, only Kevin needed to stop by his office. They walked into the Assistant District Attorney’s lobby and the mail courier was engaged in a conversation with members of Kevin’s staff.
“Hey, Frankie. I’d like to introduce you to my girlfriend Paige.” Frankie smiled as he directed his attention to Paige and Kevin.
“Hi Paige, it’s good to meet you.” He shook hands with her and then Kevin.
When Kevin turned to introduce Karen and Nikki, they were both frozen in a daze of disbelief. Frankie looked from her to Nikki and he knew immediately.
Paige and Kevin looked at Frankie and Karen, and ba
ck to each other.
“I guess you’ve met Karen?” Kevin asked.
The question broke the spell that Frankie and Karen had been under. After briefly explaining to Kevin and Paige how they had met, they all quietly understood who Frankie was to Nikki. She resembled him, having his eye color, chin, and her little crooked smile matched his. Nikki held out her hand to shake his.
“Hi, I am Nikki Locke. What’s your name?” Frankie, with tears in his eyes, gave her a handshake and grabbed her up in a hug. Once his emotions were under
control, they exchanged contact information and he reluctantly continued his delivery route.
Frankie came to her apartment that same night and they talked for hours and had been together since. Now they were married. If someone had told her a year
ago that Frankie would find them and marry her, no less, she wouldn’t have
believed them.
She had a lingering thought in the back of her mind that God allowed
After Church: Walking Worthy....After the Benediction! (The Greatest Love Series Book 2) Page 2