never seen Kevin cry. While she embraced him, Kevin dropped the side of his face into the palm of her hand and allowed her to caress him. Paige realized the door to her apartment was open, but she managed to close it without losing contact. After a weighty pause, Paige began. “Kevin, tell me what is wrong. What’s going on babe?”
Kevin didn’t want to talk; he needed to be assured that giving up his relationship with his mother was worth the sacrifice. He didn’t want words from her lips, he wanted action. Paige attempted to speak again, but he caught the words with his mouth. The kiss was obsessive as he released his anguish, frustration, and grief with the connection of his lips and body to hers. Paige desperately wanted to know what caused Kevin to be this vulnerable. Was it a case? She thought. Had he lost in court? No, he was off today he went to Atlanta to—HIS MOTHER. Paige attempted to pull away. Kevin tightened his hold and finally spoke.
“Please Paige I need you. I need this; I’m incomplete without you… without
us!” Paige surrendered to her man. Only the Lord knew her heart, and she could not break Kevin’s by denying him what he seemed to be pleading for. She would comfort him, because he loved her flaws and all. She knew she was a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces, a Rubik’s cube without all the colors, a scavenger hunt
without any clues. She was determined to love this man, and allow his love to adorn her.
Kevin felt her relent to his will and lifted Paige by the waist. She voluntarily wrapped her legs around his body and whispered in his ear, “Let’s get something to drink.” He turned left to go into the kitchen, and held Paige at an angle so she
could grab a bottle of wine out of the wine rack, and glasses out of her cabinet. They stumbled to her bedroom where Kevin placed her on her feet. She undressed, found her music player and picked “Kevin’s Love Songs” playlist, while he prepared their liquid courage. Kevin smiled as he walked to Paige and gave her
the glass of wine. The first song she played was enforcement to his rising libido, the voice was Beyoncé, and the words were a soothing balm to his tortured spirit. He understood his lady had issues, but she was working on them. If she fell along the way, while on her journey of recovery he would be there to catch her. He truly loved her flaws and all. He sipped his glass of wine, while the song filled the bedroom, and looked intensely into his lover’s eyes. He accepted the lyrics to the song as confirmation; his china doll was worth the sacrifice. When the next song played it was K. Michelle, belting out “V.S.O.P.” Kevin adorned his complex, frustrating, and unpredictable lady with love throughout the night. They were both resolved to the night of passion, before dealing with the cause of his devastation in the morning.
***
Carol Steele was a woman full of grief and despair that would not let go of her thoughts and her very soul. She sat in Lauren’s childhood bedroom looking at all the awards, degrees, and pictures from her only child’s youth. Lauren had been
her world, her pride, and her joy. She was loving, kind, devoted, and in Carol’s mind, taken away from this Earth too soon. Carol picked up a frame that held a collage of pictures of Lauren. Some were of her as an infant, growing to a toddler, then school age, and all the way up to her life with Benjamin.
It wasn’t long ago, that she blamed Benjamin for not making Lauren a mother and a wife. She could not understand how he was now ready to commit to this girl he had just met barely a year ago. Oh, how she wanted him to suffer the way she suffered, knowing she would never be the mother of a bride or a grandmother. Just thinking of never being called Nana or Me-Me made her feel hopeless. Recently, she started attending therapy sessions with the support of her friend, and Benjamin’s mother, Ellen. After a few sessions, she started to realize that it wasn’t Benjamin’s fault; he had a right to move on. He was after all still in the land of the living. Dr. Whitney was able to help her see how wrong she had been in trying to keep Benjamin in the mourning stage of grief as she was. She grimaced as she recalled the therapy session where she reached the epiphany that she was wrong in her view of Benjamin’s relationship.
Carol sat across from Dr. Whitney with her best-friend Ellen Adams, who had been holding her hand the entire session. Carol was deep in thought trying to give the doctor an answer to her question.
“Carol, when you saw Benjamin propose to Camille, how did you feel?”
After what seemed a long time, she finally spoke.
“I didn’t understand how he could do that to my baby. Proposing marriage to that girl, when he never gave Lauren a promise ring. Do you know how many nights my baby girl cried in my arms about that man? She wanted nothing more than to be his wife and the mother of his children.”
Dr. Whitney turned to Carol. “That is what you thought about Benjamin’s proposal to Camille; now tell me how you felt about it.” Carol sighed, she closed her eyes as she let go of Ellen’s hand and let her neck fall back in exasperation. She then took another deep breath, opened her eyes, and looked at the four piercing ones staring back at her.
“I felt violated by Benny proposing to that girl, after knowing her for such a short time. When he was saying how strong she was, my chest tightened and my stomach churned. I felt anger like never before and I wanted to stop Benny from making a mistake. I don’t remember what I thought or felt after that. That is when my mind went black because my anger turned into rage, and I picked up that skillet determined to knock some sense into that boy.”
As soon as those words left her mouth, Carol looked to her best friend and realized how she admittedly hurt this lady’s son, and here she sat with her. She felt remorse at that very moment, followed by an understanding that her hurt had manifested into anger and she had allowed herself to become a monster. She immediately apologized to Ellen for hurting her son. Ellen being the woman of grace forgave her and simply said, “Carol you must forgive yourself and allow Dr. Whitney with the Lord, to help you heal.”
Now she was ashamed of her actions and her treatment of Camille. But the tightness in her chest didn’t ease with this revelation. The hole in heart seemed only to grow because she understood if she was to continue on, she had to let go and make amends. The only issue she had with that was how to do it.
She rose from the desk where her daughter once did her homework and wrote a thesis statement to obtain a Master’s Degree, and went to her bed. There once was a time when she could lay on this bed and smell Lauren’s scent. Lauren always visited one weekend, every month. She had just been home the weekend
prior to her being taken. While Lauren’s scent was still there, it was as if she had a piece of her. The day she no longer could smell the sweet scent of her daughter, was the day the pain came down on her like a wrecking ball. She understood she needed to let go of the anger, pain, and resentment and to make true amends with Benjamin and Camille. Ultimately, she was resolved that this was what she was going to do. In the meantime, Carol felt weary and had to lie down in Lauren’s bed, on her back with the picture frame clutched to her bosom and wept until slumber took over.
Gregory Steele turned off the television after watching his favorite religious program. He proceeded to turn down all the lights and set the alarm system of his home. He went to the master bedroom and prepared to turn in with his beloved, only he was grieved to see she was not in their room. There was only one other place she would be. He turned around defeated and headed to Lauren’s room. His heart was heavy because Lauren had been gone for almost two years now. His beloved wife still grieved the same as the moment they heard the doctor deliver the news. He missed his baby girl too, not a day went by when he didn’t think of her, but his memories were a balm to his sorrow, sadly there was no soothing his beloved.
He thought back to a few months after Lauren’s death. He had tried to change Lauren’s bedroom to a study. He did not want his wife to make the room into a shrine for her grief. Her reaction to that suggestion allowed him to see his wife was only a vicious shell of the beautiful doll he’d married.
“Doll let’s turn the spare bedroom into a study, where we can pray and read the bible together. You know it could be our own prayer closet.”
“Are you crazy! That is not a spare bedroom. It’s Lauren’s. Now you listen
to me well, before I let you touch that room I will divorce you.”
Gregory tried to make light of the situation to calm her down. “Doll, you know we are married until death do us part.” He gave her that old charming smile that calmed her for the last four decades. Her next statements proved the charm was gone.
“Gregory Steele, I would kill you dead before I so much as let you paint my baby’s wall.” He never broached the topic again.
After that, he began to fast and pray, and continued to this day without ceasing, that his wife’s grief would be lifted from her. He was out of options. If Dr. Whitney could not help her, then who could? Gregory had stopped trying to talk to her about their daughter and just prayed that a breakthrough would come their way.
He went into Lauren’s room, his heart broke yet again to see his beloved’s face puffy, and tear stained. He removed the picture from her clutches and lifted her body to carry her into their bedroom. He undressed her and put her into her nightgown, and tucked her gently into bed. He then kneeled beside her on his knees and prayed in Jesus’s name for the mending of a fragile heart.
Chapter 3
The Morning After
Kevin woke up in a fog. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he sat up, looking around wondering where he was. He realized he was in Paige’s bedroom with no Paige in sight; panic struck him in the pit of his stomach. He jumped up, and picked up his pants that were folded and put neatly on her bedroom chair. Kevin
hoped she was okay with the events of last night; he was on a quest to find her. He remembered what Frankie had said about Karen after they made love once, after she ‘got saved.’ Kevin did not want a repeat of that episode starring Paige. He looked in her in-suite bathroom—empty. He dashed down her short hallway into
the living room and glanced around to her study area—No Paige. Frustrated he rubbed his hands over his wavy, fade haircut, and tried to think of her morning habits.
“Think Kevin think.” He hoped she had not run off, waiting on him to leave before she returned. He went into the kitchen thinking she would need her morning joe to get going. If there was some made, he might stand a chance. Entering the kitchen his heart leaped with joy, she had left a note on the counter.
Babe,
I wanted to make us breakfast, no food shot that plan down (lol). I went to grab something, be back in a few.
Love Ya!
P.S. I know you are off today, so I called in to the office letting them know I
will take the day off. That way we have the entire day together.
Kevin audibly exhaled. His girl was no weakling, she doesn’t run. Smiling, he headed back to the bedroom to shower and prepare for breakfast, and the conversation they didn’t have last night.
***
Karen held Nikki’s hand as the nurse labeled her back with numbers for the allergy test. Nikki was being such a big girl. She was being brave and holding still. Karen tried to focus solely on being there for her baby girl and ignore the bile that was starting to rise in the back of her throat, caused by Frankie stepping out of the patient’s room to talk to Dawn about Shayla.
Every day Shayla was contacting Frankie directly or through the girls with some issue. She could kick herself for not knowing Shayla was still on his government insurance. They still shared credit cards and a joint banking account as well. Who does that? She had made the discovery as she was adding her financial and legal documents into their now shared file cabinet and came across his.
Frankie hadn’t asked her yet how she felt about his shared assets with his former wife. She tried to convince herself it didn’t matter. Karen had a great plan with ITS and it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Karen understood blending their families would require the patience of a saint, but how much patience should a saint have? Their daughter could’ve died last night and Frankie was in the hall discussing who knows what concerning his ex-wife. She had no doubt it concerned Shayla, if it
was about one of the girls he would have stayed in the room. Being married to a man who was best friends with his ex was not ideal. Karen was pulled out of her thoughts, as the door opened and Frankie walked in all smiles.
“How is daddy’s girl doing?” Frankie’s question caused Nikki to move to see him. The nurse looked up with a frown of agitation. Karen, scolded Frankie.
“Frankie, Nikki has to hold still, she can’t move.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Daddy didn’t mean to make you move. Be still like mommy and the nurse said.” Nikki shut her eyes tight, as her dad told her what
a brave girl she was being and that he would be taking her to eat whatever she wanted after this. Karen rolled her eyes toward the heavens.
“Frankie you can’t promise her that. We don’t know what she is allergic to.” Karen was sick of Frankie and wished she had come alone. First, he was in and out dealing with his ex-wife’s issues. Now he was in here confusing her child.
“Karen I’m sorry. I keep putting my foot in my mouth, I’m nervous.” “About what, Nikki or something with the former Mrs. Jones?”
“Karen, of course with Nikki. Shayla is just tripping about some accounts
I’m closing and trying to keep insurance coverage. Why Dawn called me about it, I
don’t know. But I handled it.”
“Sure you did, until the next crisis or whatever she feels like griping about.” Karen’s tone was so hostile it shocked him; he had never heard her voice filled with so much contempt.
Frankie looked at Karen bewildered. “Are we seriously going to fight while
Nikki is being prepped for this procedure?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“I’m not fighting; I just don’t understand you and Shayla. But we can talk
about it later. Looks like they are about to start injecting her.”
Frankie grimaced as he watched the nurse pull needles from what looked like small ice tray packs and put the needles into Nikki’s back. Each section of the tray held various foods and environmental substances to determine what she was allergic to.
Nikki began to cry and complain about her back itching and burning. She began kicking and trying to grab the nurse’s hand to bring a stop to her anguish. Frankie was summoned to hold her feet as Karen held down her upper body. This was not how he wanted their marriage and family to start. It had been one dramatic event after another. He wanted to make Karen happy and keep Nikki safe, and
love them as they both deserved. However, Shayla was not making it easy and he could tell Karen was struggling with keeping her cool.
Frankie was annoyed by his earlier phone call just as much as Karen was. Dawn was doing her mother’s bidding, she texted him 9-1-1, which meant he had to call her immediately to talk. As he listened to Dawn, he realized he would have
to clarify what constituted a 9-1-1 text. Shayla’s insurance coverage was not one of them. Shayla had been diagnosed with Lupus over five years ago and Frankie let her remain on his insurance after the divorce. Shayla hadn’t had a flare up in years, but had put Dawn up to begging him not to remove her from his family plan.
Shayla insisted that as a hairstylist she didn’t know if the disease would allow her to continue in her profession. He promised his daughter he would consider it, which meant discussing it with Karen, but thought it was best not to bring her name up. He didn’t want the girls to associate anything negative regarding Shayla with Karen. Although he knew if he didn’t rid his life of all things Shayla, his new marriage may end before it truly began.
When he and Shayla divorced, they were supposed to split all their assets in half. They hadn’t completed the court order. Looking back that was irresponsible of them, but hindsight always has twenty-twenty vision. However, back then Shayla and he were on such
good terms that whatever he had, he freely shared with her. Now things were different, he was married. The entire situation with the bank accounts and insurance was giving him heartburn and a headache.
Frankie turned his attention to Karen. She was rubbing Nikki’s hair with one hand and holding her little hands with the other. She was speaking softly to their daughter, soothing her as only a loving mother could. Dear God, she was beautiful. Her long, shiny, black hair; her modest but stunning look was one to behold. She was all he wanted and everything he needed. He had to make this work; he had to
get Shayla’s demands under control before Karen was fed up. He was brought out of his reverie when he heard a small whimpering voice.
“Daddy, can you come up here with me and mommy? I won’t kick anymore
I promise.”
“Of course sweet-pea daddy is here with you.” “My back hurts.”
Frankie leaned around her to view her back. She had purple whelps and knots all over her skin. It appeared every injection had some type of reaction. Frankie had never seen anything like it before. Guilt started to creep in, was this caused by her being conceived by parents who were intoxicated with alcohol and drugs? No, he couldn’t wallow in dooming thoughts. He squeezed Nikki’s hand and lowered to whisper in her ear.
After Church: Walking Worthy....After the Benediction! (The Greatest Love Series Book 2) Page 5