Making Choices (Black Shamrocks MC Book 2)

by Kylie Hillman

  We all regard each other, a million questions needing answers, yet the only person who can answer them has wiped his hands of the Club.

  Left the room.

  Fuck knows, he could’ve left the fucking Compound.

  “We need to vote.” Lenny’s gravelly voice splinters the silence. “I’ll begin. I vote to support Mad Dog’s challenge. We’ll go around the table now.”

  A chorus of “aye’s” meet Lenny’s repeated question as each brother answers him when asked. Not one brother votes for Beast to retain his presidency.

  It takes a few minutes, but eventually only my father, Viking, Butch, Smoke, Mad Dog, and myself are left.

  Butch answers in the affirmative; the toll it takes on him to vote against his former brother-in-law and life-long brother-in-arms written all over his strained face.

  Smoke follows his father, answering quietly in the affirmative.

  Our fathers shake their heads at each other, a silent conversation being held between them before Dad helps Viking to his feet.

  “Conan? Viking?” Lenny questions as they head for the doors Beast left through in silence. “Your vote?”

  “I follow the majority. It’s a dark day in hell for this Club, but I have no love for traitors. It’s an aye from me.” Dad doesn’t look at me, doesn’t even slow as he speaks. He only halts when Viking motions him to stop.

  “Aye,” Viking wheezes, his frail chest lurching as he coughs, unable to speak further.

  Mad Dog and I stare at each other, our reservations apparent in our expressions as our fathers make their way out of the Chapel. The vote needs to be unanimous for the motion to pass.

  My gut’s telling me not to go ahead with the challenge.

  That we need to revisit this once we know what Beast’s hiding.

  “Timber?” Lenny asks. “Your vote?”

  “Nay.”

  “Fuck me. What are you playing at? This is your challenge.” Lenny shakes his head in disgust. He doesn’t understand why I’ve changed my mind. I can’t say that I understand it either, all I know for certain is that it was the right decision, the instant relief I feel proving it’s the right choice. “Mad Dog? What’s your fucking vote?”

  “Nay. I vote no as well.”

  The breath I was holding as I waited for Mad Dog’s answer leaves me in a rush.

  Thank fuck, I read what he was trying to tell me correctly.

  “You two assholes have a problem. You’ve just tipped this Club on its fucking head. Our President is a traitor, and the challenger and his second have voted to keep him. I’ve had fucking enough of this shit tonight.” Butch steps forward, crossing his arms over his chest.

  Lenny stands next to him with an identical quizzical—and angry—look on his face.

  The remainder of the Club stands behind them.

  Taking in the faces of my brothers, I shrug at Mad Dog.

  He can answer their questions. I have barely a clue what’s going on either, so he can fill me in at the same time.

  Looking at the clock that hangs on the wall above the President’s seat, I see that it’s nearly midnight. It’s already been a long fucking day, and it’s not over yet.

  Instead of getting to the bottom of things, all we’ve done is find more things to question.

  “It’s only fucking temporary,” Mad Dog addresses everyone at once. “We need to find out what he’s hiding. He doesn’t get to just walk away from the fucking Club and leave us swinging. He owes us.”

  He has the agreement of everyone present, the nodding heads making that apparent.

  “I might’ve fucked up when I gutted that piece of shit, but he had it coming. Any of you would have done the same if it was your woman.”

  Murmurs of assent greet his statement.

  “Payback should’ve been delivered months ago. Not just for Lainey, but for Joel and the Club. The Mavericks fucked us over then and because they got away with it, they’re trying to fuck us over now. We have the body of their President in the bunker. We’ve got their fucking VP, and we’ve got Connor. We hold the cards, and we can get through this. We just need a plan.”

  Running his hands through his hair, he closes his eyes, shutting us all out.

  I know how he feels. My mind is running in a million different directions, trying to sort through everything we’ve learned during the last twelve hours.

  There are still too many “what ifs”, “whys” and “how comes” to formulate a proper plan yet.

  “We need Beast to talk. Willingly or otherwise.” My mouth is in gear before my brain catches up, the thought falling from my mouth as soon as it appears in my head.

  Would I be able to use my favorite interrogation techniques on Beast if it meant we got the answers we need?

  I’m not fucking sure.

  “You’re right.” Mad Dog nods. “You’re fucking right. And I know just how to do it.”

  “How?” The question is shot at him from all corners of the room.

  I lift an eyebrow, letting him know that I don’t know if I’m down with what I just suggested.

  “We let him stew on it tonight. Keep him out of the bunker. Keep someone on him at all times. Then tomorrow we hit him with the big guns. I’ll organize it tonight.”

  “Fucking quit being so cryptic,” Butch demands. “What big guns?”

  “Just wait ‘til tomorrow, brother. All will become clear. Crystal fucking clear.”

  JJ

  Present Day

  “You’re here?” Lucas questions me after he bursts through the door of his room at the Clubhouse, startling me from my nap on his bed. Sitting up, I rub my eyes, trying to regain my sleep-addled wits. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I’m so tired. The last few days have been stressful, to say the least.

  “I am. Is that okay?”

  My decision to track down Maddi at the hospital had paid dividends when I’d found her sitting outside of Joel’s room by herself. She informed me that everyone, including Lucas, had left because Joel was refusing to see any of them. I’d swallowed my pride and asked for her help.

  And with only a small amount of undisguised glee, she agreed.

  Until we were interrupted by Smoke with orders to head back to the club with him right fucking now, Maddi had gifted me an insight into Lucas and his overreaction to my questions about Amy. I’d prodded, but she wouldn’t break his confidence and tell me exactly what happened between them, only that it had nearly broken Lucas and he hadn’t trusted another woman since.

  Poor Mad Dog was in for a lecture for the small part he had already told since Maddi had been aghast when I’d told her what I already knew. A small twinge of sympathy had overcome me when I’d thought about him getting chewed out by her, coupled with amusement because I’ve decided that he might secretly get off on her bossiness.

  “It’s not a problem. Just fucking surprised to see you.”

  Hanging his leather vest—I need to start remembering to think of it as a cut—on a hook on the back of his door, he pulls his T-shirt over his head and yanks his hair out of the elastic band that’s holding it. His own lack of energy and tiredness is evident in each slow and precise movement he makes. Kicking his boots off, he undoes the top button of his jeans before heading to the bed.

  Before I can doubt the idea I had before he returned, I scramble from the bed and grab his hand. Surprise and confusion duel for supremacy on his handsome face. He looks down at me with one eyebrow lifted and a small, inquisitive smile curling his lips.

  “Come with me. I have something to show you.”

  Dragging him to his ensuite bathroom before he can answer, I hesitate at the door. I hope that this is the right move. The stark potential for this move to go wrong overwhelms me.

  I force myself to shrug it off.

  “I haven’t checked this yet, so we can find out together.” I shoot him half a smile, willing him to understand what I’m saying.

  “I don’t follow, JJ—”

  Leading him
into the room instead of replying, I point at the long, white plastic object that’s sitting on the vanity.

  “You can do the honors, Lucas.”

  He stares at the pregnancy test as if it might jump off of the counter and bite him. His astonishment makes the annoying argument needed to get a grumpy Smoke to stop at the drugstore on the way back to the Clubhouse worth it. Maddi and I had used every feminine wile, persuasive argument, and threat we could think of to cajole him into stopping. He definitely suffers from the same overzealous, irritating, alpha male syndrome that afflicts the rest of the Black Shamrocks.

  Luckily Maddi’s pretty good at making them do what she wants them to do, and she’s teaching me.

  “Go on—” I coax.

  Picking it up, Lucas turns it over in front of both of us.

  “Two blue lines,” he says softly. “What does that mean?”

  Pulling the instruction leaflet out of the box in the bin, I double-check the section that contains the explanation about the results. I already know since I studied it intently before I peed on the stick, the delay is to give me enough time to find my voice. Verification of my suspicions has rendered me speechless, a lump wedged in my throat, my hands shaking, and my heart pounding.

  It’s real now.

  “That’s positive, isn’t it?”

  Now it’s Lucas’s turn to sweet-talk me.

  I nod, tears spilling down my cheeks. Wrapping my arms around his firm waist, I bury my head into his lower sternum. His arms come around me, holding me to him. I can feel him shaking.

  We stay like this for a long moment before he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist. Kissing me the second our lips are level, our tongues dance together as we hold each other tight. I’m out of breath, lost in our mutual excitement until Lucas pulls away from me, and laughs.

  I nip at his bottom lip in response, making him laugh harder.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You have no fucking idea how happy this makes me.” He grins, a wide, sincere grin that makes it all the way to his eyes. It wipes away all of the fatigue and defeat that I noticed in them the second he walked through the door. “Doll, this has been the shittiest day in the history of this Club, but you’ve managed to trump all of that shit with two blue fucking lines.”

  Knowing how my vision earlier today made me feel, I have a small idea of how he feels at the news.

  “All I wanna do is fuck the ass off you right now.” Lucas breathes against my neck before he runs his tongue up the side of my neck, stopping only when he gets to my ear and nibbles the lobe. Sinking his teeth into the soft flesh, the nip of pain sends a shiver through me, goose bumps erupting all over me. He knows it’s a direct line to my pussy so he bites down again, this time dampening my panties as my pussy contracts and my nipples tighten into sensitive peaks.

  “Why don’t you?” I whimper when he tilts my neck and nips at it. Kneading my ass as he bites the raised tendons on his way down to my collarbone, I wind my fingers through his long hair.

  “The baby. What if I hurt the baby?”

  It’s my turn to laugh. What a silly man thing to say.

  “The baby is the size of a walnut, if it’s lucky. You might have the biggest cock I’ve ever seen, but even you can’t get anywhere near her. No matter how hard you fuck me.”

  “Her.” He chuckles.

  Whoops. I’m not ready to tell him about the epiphany I had this afternoon.

  He’ll think I’m nuts. Well, nuttier than he already thinks I am.

  “Him or her. Who knows?” I deflect, wrapping my arms back around his neck and pulling his lips back to mine.

  “Where were we?” I ask him, my voice low and seductive.

  We kiss again. I can feel him hardening between my legs, the hands he’s using to massage my ass holding me tight against him as he rubs me up and down his growing bulge. Matching his rhythm, I grind myself against him, every atom of my body alight and on fire, my core pulsing and clenching as my arousal heightens.

  “Let’s take this to the bed, Doll. You’re gonna ride me tonight. Hard. Fast. After you’ve had my cock down your throat and you’ve brought me to the edge, again and again. After I’ve stuffed you full of my fingers and made you come until you can’t take anymore. Then you’re riding my cock until your legs shake and you see stars.”

  “Oh, Lucas. I love your dirty mouth.” I moan.

  His words raise my desire to another level, his crude mouth brings a new dimension to our sex. I never thought I’d want to be talked to in this way. I don’t know if it’s Lucas himself, his rough low voice, the words he uses, or a combination of all three, but I can’t imagine fucking ever again without hearing his voice in my ear, telling me to take all of him.

  “Hold the fuck on,” Lucas commands.

  Wrapping my arms and legs tighter around him, I cling to him as he walks out of the bathroom, and throws me down on the bed. Crawling over me, he kisses me as if I’m his source of life before gripping the bottom of the T-shirt I borrowed from him and pulling it over my head. Removing my yoga pants and lace panties, he then slides his jeans and boxers down his legs, kicking them across the room. Falling to his back on the bed, he seizes my waist, lifting me over him and placing me down so I’m straddling his naked hips.

  His hand in my hair, he yanks my face down toward his. I move to kiss him, thinking that’s what he wants.

  Serious, ice-blue eyes peer into mine.

  “Change of plans. I want rough tonight. I need rough tonight. Hardcore, take-every-fucking-thing-you-have-to-offer-and-then-take-some-more rough. I want you to fight me. Scratch me. Bite me.” His tone is needy, but unapologetic. “You up for that?”

  “Anytime. Anywhere,” I reply, not even bothering to hide the grin that spreads over my face at his words. I’ve been waiting for this. Although each time we fuck is more intense than the last, I’ve been aware that he’s been holding himself back—despite my best efforts to make him lose control. I dabbled in rough sex at university, being manhandled, spanked, and occasionally gagged, but I’ve never met a man who seemed capable of giving it to me as rough as I wanted it until Lucas.

  Lack of trust and fear of being thought a freak also held me back from exploring my interest in the more taboo side of sex until now.

  I don’t have those doubts with him.

  “You want me to stop. You say stop. Don’t fucking toy with me, because stop means stop.”

  Pausing I consider his words, and then nod.

  I’ve read about safe words and using the color of stop lights to slow things down, but I can’t imagine Lucas messing around with rules and safe words. He’s too straightforward.

  Stop means stop.

  Sounds good to me.

  “Okay,” I moan my agreement when he slides his hand between my legs, stroking my clit.

  Throwing my head back, I close my eyes when he strokes me again. My eyes fly open when he grasps my throat and squeezes. Fear rises in me, and I wrap my hands around his wrist, holding tight in case he squeezes harder. Staring down at him, doubts surface. He’s so much bigger than me, so much stronger. He meets my gaze with flashing eyes, his excitement at my uncertainty increasing my doubts.

  “You up for this?” he questions again.

  I don’t answer because I don’t know if I am.

  What is a turn on to me when I’m watching porn has become scary now that I’m confronting it in real life.

  If I’m afraid when he holds my throat, how am I going to handle everything else he has in store?

  Squeezing my throat when I don’t answer him, he pinches my nipple with his free hand. This isn’t the typical bite of pain that Lucas inflicts—this is meant to hurt.

  And hurt it does.

  When I shift above him from the pain, he holds me in place by the throat and pinches again. Harder.

  Even as my mind registers pain, my clit responds, throbbing with expectation. I gasp as I grow wetter, the gasp becoming a full-blown groan as my
arousal deepens to a new level.

  When Lucas increases his grip around my throat and pulls the nipple he has clamped between his fingers, my only focus is the corresponding ache in my pussy. He stretches my nipple as far as it will go, my breast pulling away from my body. The slight throb of pain matches the delicious pulsing of my clit, warmth spreading through my lower belly.

  “I said, are you up for this?” he rasps, lifting his hips up and grinding against me. “Make a choice, JJ.”

  His eyes glitter, full of mischief.

  He knows my doubts are dissolving.

  He’s toying with me.

  Two can play that game.

  “I don’t know. I’m scared—” I whisper as I rub my slick pussy up and down his erection. Although taunting, my words come from a place of honesty.

  He meets my movements with his own, a riot of sensation making my inner thighs quiver.

  My need to climax is increasing by the second.

  “Being scared is what makes it so much fun, Doll. Choose to give yourself to me. You know I’ll make it worth your fucking while.”

  It’s always this way between us.

  I get scared. He shows me how to channel that fear.

  He’s helped me deal with Ollie, face my father, embrace my surprise pregnancy. Maybe he can help me explore this dormant side of my sexuality? Thinking about all the things I’ve done since I met Lucas, things that I’d only contemplated in my wildest dreams before him, I make a choice.

  Letting go of his wrist, I let my arms hang by my sides.

  I’m open.

  Vulnerable.

  “I choose you.”

  Without another word, Lucas’s hand tightens around my throat.

  Flipping me onto my back, he drives his hard cock into me. I'm aroused but not fully, my desire having died slightly while we were talking. He forces his way in, my channel stretching to accommodate his surprise entry, a small, delicious stab of pain breaks across my lower belly when he fills me to the hilt.

  I scream. It burns; his cock not sliding as easily as it usually does since I'm not as wet as I could be.

  Clamping his other hand over my mouth to silence me, he pulls out, leaving just the tip inside of me before he slams back in. Over and over, he pulls nearly all the way out and slams back in.