CHAPTER SIX
BECCA
The following morning, I’m exiting the elevator on my floor at the Q’s as I read over the message that Jaycent just sent me.
Jayce: I had a great time with you last night. And I would be honored if you would see me again tonight.
I unlock the door as I type back my response.
Me: I had a great time too. And I’d love to.
I walk into my apartment with a smile on my face. I feel like I’m flying. I’ve never met someone who made me feel like anything is possible like Jaycent does. He has this confidence in others that makes it impossible to doubt yourself.
I’ve never told anyone what I want to do. Not even Ashlyn. She would support me one hundred percent, but I never wanted to tell Conner, and I didn’t want her to accidentally let something slip while he was around. We all lived together in Seattle, after all. And our walls were thin.
But I wanted to tell Jaycent. Not because I thought he would support me but because I just needed to get it out. I’m not normally a secretive person, and that secret was eating at me. And he was right; why should I feel ashamed of wanting to help others?
I saw many homeless people in Seattle. It was sad. They were always wet from the rain or cold from the snow. And so many people drove by without even giving them a second look or thought. I always wondered about their stories. Where did they come from? How did they get to this place in their lives? How hard would it be for something like that to happen to any of us? I’ve never known what it was like to live from paycheck to paycheck. We didn’t have an expensive place in Seattle, and Conner bitched about it constantly. He always asked if I had so much money, then why were we living in this dump? It wasn’t a dump. It just wasn’t up to his hoity-toity standards. Ashlyn had already lived there when I met her, and she needed a roommate, so Conner and I moved in. It was that simple. And although my father put money in my account each month, I only ever used my check to pay for the things I wanted and needed. I felt like that money was blood money, which, in a way, it was. My grandfather had died and left it to me and Ryder.
But I often saw homeless people around our apartment and by the campus. I got the idea one night when Conner was driving me home from dinner. A woman sat on the side of the road. The hoodie she wore was dirty and had holes in it. Her jeans too short. She had no shoes on, only socks. And she held a baby in her arms, wrapped in a brown blanket. My heart broke for her. For her baby. I couldn’t sleep that night because she was all I thought about. I had asked Conner to stop, and like usual, he pretended not to hear me. I went back the next morning, and she was gone. I never saw her again, and I wonder what had happened to her.
You see it all the time during the holidays—local weather channels have coat and glove drives for their shelters. Donate a coat, scarf, or gloves to someone who needs them. What if I could supply them with more than that?
It sounds unrealistic, I know. If it was so easy, then why hasn’t someone else already done it? Because there are too many, that’s why. I’ve done the research, and there were over sixty-two thousand homeless people in New York City in December 2016. That is a breathtaking number. Twenty-four thousand of those are children. What kind of future do they have? Do they go to school? How would they get there? I know how shelters work. At night, they have to turn people away due to capacity.
I have a trust fund that currently sits at a little over two point four million dollars. You know how much fabric that money could buy? How many blankets for the children who have to sleep on the streets or in their cars? A lot! I didn’t earn that money. I don’t deserve it. I know almost everyone will argue with me. Live without it, and you’ll feel differently, some would say. You try being one of those homeless people, and you wouldn’t give it all away. I’ve seen the ugly side of what that kind of money does to people. I watched my grandpa die, and my family fight over it like he was a piece of raw meat lying in the road and they were all vultures wanting a scrap. It divided my family. Why can’t it be spent to do good as well?
I’m standing in my kitchen, fixing myself a cup of coffee, when my phone beeps. I look down, expecting it to be from Jaycent, but it’s from Conner. I don’t have his number saved in my phone anymore, but I can’t seem to forget it.
Unknown: Please have dinner with me tonight.
I exit out of it, ignoring the request, and place my phone on the counter. It goes off again, and I growl as I snatch it back up. I frown when I see it’s the front desk to the Q’s. “Hello?”
“Hello, Ms. O’Kane. You have a delivery from a Mr. O’Kane.”
I smile, wondering if it’s from my father or brother. I’m guessing Ry. “Send it on up.”
Minutes later, the doorbell rings, and I open it up to see a man holding two very large fruit bouquets. “Thank you,” I say before taking them from him.
I’m setting them on the kitchen counter when I see Ashlyn appear from her room. I wasn’t even sure she was here.
“What is that?” she asks.
I point at the one closest to her on the counter. “That one’s for you.”
Ashlyn reads the card, and I could see it all over her face that she did not appreciate Ryder’s gift. Although she did end up eating the fruit, she called him about the spa day he got us. The spa owned by Jaycent’s sister, no less. It’s one of the most expensive spas in town. Her father bought it for her twenty-first birthday. I’ve always admired his sister. She is very business savvy. Driven and gorgeous.
When Ashlyn called Ryder to complain about this gift, he proceeded to tell her that we were all going out tonight. And for once, I’m in the mood to go out and have a few drinks. The only problem is how am I gonna be around Jaycent while Ryder is there also?
**
At eight o’clock on the dot, I’m opening our apartment door for my brother. He frowns when he sees me. “That’s what you’re wearing?”
“What’s wrong with it?” I ask, running my hands down over the silk fabric. It’s a navy dress with a deep neckline. It’s simple yet pretty. Ashlyn bought me this dress for my birthday last year. It’s not designer or expensive, but it’s one of my favorite dresses because my best friend took time out of her day to get me something that reminded her of me. It was perfect then, and it’s perfect for tonight.
“There’s not enough to it,” he says, and I hit him on the arm.
I roll my eyes. “Get inside.”
“Are you ladies ready?”
“I am. Ashlyn is still getting ready.” He walks down the hallway, and I hear the doorbell ring again. I straighten my hands down my dress and take a deep breath before opening the door. Jaycent stands there with his right hand on the doorframe above his head, and the other in the pocket of his black slacks. His head is down as he stares at the floor. When he lifts his light brown eyes to meet mine, my breath catches in my throat. A slow and sexy smile spreads across his face as he watches me stare at him in amazement. He looks mouthwateringly good. I tighten my legs to help ease the tension between my thighs, and his eyes drop to my chest. The smile slowly fades, and he licks his lips. “Jayce ...” I say softly as I lift my hand and push a piece of brown hair behind my eyes nervously. He’s the only man to ever make me feel this way.
He pushes off the doorframe and removes his hand from the pocket of his slacks. Without warning, he leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “Hello, gorgeous.”
I pull back from him and look around the inside of our apartment quickly. “My brother is already here,” I say, and he shrugs. “Jaycent,” I snap. “We have to be discreet.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair, and I see his jaw tighten. “Babe...” I whisper. “What’s wrong?”
He reaches for my hand and grabs it. I allow him to pull me down the hallway, and I peek into Ashlyn’s room to see Ryder sitting on the end of her bed and no sign of Ashlyn. She must still be in her bathroom getting ready.
He pulls me into my bedroom and shuts the door behind me. Before I can say
a word, his lips are on mine. I moan as his right hand goes to my thigh and lifts it around his hip. My lips part wider, and my tongue seeks out his as I moan. His fingers dig into my already sensitive skin, burning me with his touch.
I can feel his cock start to harden against my pussy, and it throbs with want. Why did I say we should take it slow? I feel like we’ve taken it slow for way too long.
He pulls away too soon and leaves me up against the wall panting. “Jaycent... we can’t ...”
“I know.” His deep voice sounds breathless. “I just needed to kiss you.” He kisses my forehead and then pulls me away from the door. I stand on shaky legs as he exits my room. He doesn’t say anything, just walks away and knocks on Ashlyn’s door. “Let’s go guys.”
JAYCENT
We walk through the entrance of the rooftop bar, and I place my hand on Becca’s back. She tenses, but Ryder doesn’t seem to mind. The fact that our old high school friend is looking her up and down as if she’s his flavor of the week has him glaring, so it works in my favor. Makes it look like she’s here with me and no one else can have her. Conner was right; I do take advantage of situations with her.
Becca and I go straight to the bar and get everyone drinks. She looks up at me. “You have to be careful.”
“I am,” I say, reaching for my wallet to pay for them.
“You’re not.”
I look at the bartender and give him the money after he sets the drinks down. I don’t say anything else to her because she’s right. I’m not being careful. We make our way over to them standing by the ledge. “We got you guys drinks.”
“Thank you,” Ashlyn says, moving away from Ryder and taking her drink from Becca.
Becca takes a drink from her straw and is smiling, but then it drops off. And she lowers her drink. “What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks her.
She doesn’t answer, but we all turn to look where she is staring, and there sits fuck face with some bitch. I grip my glass. “Is he still messaging you?” Ashlyn demands, and I look over at her. She nods, and I frown. Why didn’t she tell me she is still talking to him? “When was the last time he messaged you?”
“Earlier today.”
“What did he say?” she demands, getting just as pissed as I am. I know why he’s still contacting her. Because I bet he hasn’t told her mother about their split. I bet he wants to get back with her so he can continue to get paid.
“That he wanted to have dinner tonight. I ignored it like all the others.”
“He’s such a fucking player,” Ashlyn growls.
“Fuck.” I can’t help but hiss out loud. “I’ll take care of it.” This fucker just likes to push me to my limits. I go to walk off, but Ashlyn grabs my arm.
“You had last time. Now, it’s my turn.”
“What do you mean last time?” Becca asks, and no one responds. She looks up at me with those bright green eyes, and for once, I look back over at Conner. He doesn’t look bad for a guy I just beat ten days ago. It’s a little dark up here on the rooftop. That’s part of their atmosphere. It’s not covered in bright lights. That way you can see the lights of the city and the stars. For those who don’t know I touched him, they probably wouldn’t even notice it.
I take a drink from my glass, and it’s hard to swallow. I’ve always been protective of Becca. She was my best friend’s little sister. Ryder and I both had to look after her. My sister was older than me, and it wasn’t cool for an older sister to hang out with her younger brother. I knew what it felt like to feel left out, so we let Becca come along and hang with us quite often. Even to places we probably shouldn’t have. My girlfriend hated it. She always felt threatened by Becca, and I always told her she was crazy, that she was just my little sister, and she had nothing to worry about. I guess she saw something I didn’t. Then on Becca’s eighteenth birthday, shit hit the fan in the worse way.
I stand back over by the table, drinking my beer in the pool house. Jasmine stands beside me. I can hear her laughing, but I’m not sure what about. My attention is elsewhere.
“Jaycent?” A hand hits my chest.
“Hmm?” I pry my eyes away from Becca to look down at Jasmine. Her blue eyes are narrowed on me, her hands on her narrow hips.
“Were you even listening to me?” she snaps.
“Yes,” I lie.
“Then what was I saying?” she asks, challenging me.
“Something about wanting another drink.” I take a crappy guess.
She huffs and then turns to face the woman who has had all my attention for the night. Becca. She turned eighteen last week. Ryder came to me and said he wanted to throw her a surprise birthday party, so I help him set it up.
From the moment she walked in the door, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She’s wearing this black sparkly dress that is tight around her stomach and chest, showing off her tits. When did she get those? Has she always had bigger breasts, or have I just never paid attention? The black sparkly material stops at her waist, and then the rest is black tulle that flares out and stops high on her thighs.
Just as I look over it, she leans over a table where she plays beer pong. The tulle rises, and I get a sneak peek at the curve of her ass. I grip my cup tighter.
“Jaycent,” Jasmine snaps.
“What?” I ask, quickly looking away from Becca. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is Becca. My best friend’s little sister. She’s eighteen, and I’m twenty-five. What am I thinking?
I’m thinking she’s legal ... Fuck! I have to stop that.
I look back over at her as I hear her laughing. She has her arms up in the air, pulling the already short dress higher. Her head is back as she laughs, and then Conner walks up to her. He picks up a red Solo cup and hands it to her. She takes it without thought and tosses it back. I watch as she swallows whatever is in the cup and some runs down her chin. When she slams it down, he leans in and kisses her neck. His hand goes to her thigh, and I watch him slide up her creamy leg until he cups her ass. My anger rises that he’s touching her like that for all to see.
Her head falls back as his lips go to her neck and her right foot lifts off the ground. My eyes trail down over her exposed legs until I reach her bright red high heels. I imagine ripping that dress off, but the heels stay on while she lies face down on the table bent over the side. Me standing behind her.
“What’s going on?”
I jump when I hear Ryder behind me. I spin around to see his arm over a woman’s shoulder. Her lipstick smeared along with her black mascara. Not to the point it looks obvious, but I can tell. “Nothing,” I say, trying to adjust my hard-on without anyone noticing.
I hear Jasmine huff, and then she storms off. “What’s wrong with her?” Ryder asks.
I sigh and follow after her. “Jasmine. Wait,” I call out as we make our way down the long hallway.
She comes to a stop at the door and turns to face me. “You know it’s sickening how you look at her.”
My jaw tightens. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, lying.
She huffs. “Sure, you don’t. You know how disgusting it is to watch your boyfriend want a child?”
I never looked at her that way while she was underage. I don’t know what is happening. I’ve never ever in a million years thought of her in any way other than my best friend’s little sister. “I don’t—”
“Oh, please,” she interrupts me. “All you ever do is take up for her. You watch every move she makes, and then whenever her boyfriend hurts her, you beat his ass like you’re her brother.”
She’s right. I sigh. “What do you want me to do? Someone needs to watch out for her.”
She snorts. “You know if that’s how you feel, then go right ahead.” Then she turns and opens the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“I’m done, Jaycent,” she calls out, and I don’t stop her. Years of our relationship over because I can’t keep my eyes and thoughts to only her. And instead of feeling bad that she
just walked away, I head back to the party. I guess you can say we were serious. We said I love you, but after being together for so long, that’s kind of expected. I never planned to marry her. In all honesty, it was just sex. A for sure way to get laid. And deep down, I know she felt the same way.
I enter the game room, and I search for Becca. I find her in the corner, her back against the wall and Conner in her face. He’s pissed. She’s crying. He leans down into her ear and whispers something, and she shoves him away before she runs off to the bathroom. He turns, grabs a drink, and starts laughing while he mingles with his buddies and her friends.
I set my empty drink down on a table and head after her.
That was the night I kissed her in the bathroom. That night, had it just been me and her, I would have gone all the way with her. Once again, Conner was right—I took advantage of a situation. And if given a chance, I’d do it again.
**
Three hours later, I exit the elevator on the girls’ floor as Ashlyn waves and giggles to us. She’s drunk, and it’s quite comical. Ryder definitely has his hands full.
Becca opens the door to their apartment and laughs herself. “I’m surprised Ryder didn’t question you getting off with me.”
“You have Ashlyn to thank for that,” I say, walking in behind her.
“I think it’s cute,” she says, looking up at me. Her eyes a little bloodshot from drinking.
I lock the door behind me. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” She drops her purse on the kitchen counter and spins around to face me again. She leans her hip up against it, and her arms cross over her chest. Her face grows serious as her lips thin. “What?” I ask, placing my hands in the pockets of my slacks.
“What did she mean when we ran into Conner, and she said you took care of him last time?”
I sigh and shake my head. “She was drunk—”
“No, she wasn’t,” she interrupts me. “Not yet anyway.”
My chest tightens at that. I was hoping Becca would forget what was said. I hate that Ashlyn said anything because I feel like the littlest thing could tear Becca away. That she’ll open her eyes and realize I’m not what she wants. She’s admitted to me before how much she loves me. I don’t think she remembers it, but I do. Yet she still pushed me away for years. And every part of me felt that separation. I’m not sure I could handle it again. “I should go. In case Ryder comes down here.”
Myself (Selfish Series, #2) Page 9