“Yes, how long has it been?” Jaycent asks him.
He looks over at him as if he just now realizes he’s here, and his smile returns. “Hey, Jaycent. What have you been up to?”
Jaycent takes a step toward me and throws his right arm over my shoulder. I go to shove him off, but his hand squeezes my shoulder, keeping me in place. “Staying busy. You?” Jaycent asks him casually.
The man’s eyes move from mine to Jaycent’s. Then to his hand on my shoulder. He tilts his head to the side and places his phone in his pocket before lifting his now free hand to scratch his neck. He’s obviously confused. Trying to make out what exactly it is he’s seeing. “Yeah. Staying busy.” He nods. “It was, uh, good to see you guys.”
“You too,” Jaycent says tightly, and the guy turns around and walks off.
“What was that about?” I ask, looking up at him.
He removes his arm from my shoulder. “Weston is a little ...”
“That was Weston?” I ask in surprise. My brother and Jaycent hung out with about six guys, and I remember Weston being one of them.
“I always hated the way he looked at you back then.”
His voice is tight, and it makes me frown. “Like what?”
He lifts his glass and takes a drink. “Like if, given the opportunity, he would have taken advantage of you,” he growls.
I try to hide my smile at his jealousy. I wouldn’t call what Conner was jealous, more like controlling. “You watched how other men looked at me back then?” I ask.
He nods. “Of course. I’ve always been protective of you.”
I lean into him as I smile. He kisses the top of my head. “Now he thinks we’re together.” I sigh.
“That was the point.”
“But if he tells Ryder ...”
“He won’t,” he assures me. “Plus, I haven’t even seen Ryder. I think he and Ashlyn went down below.”
“Please, Ryder. You’re supposed to be with me.”
Hearing a woman’s cry has us pulling apart and turning around. We can’t see him from where we stand, but Jaycent grabs my hand and walks toward the front of the boat in the direction we heard it.
We come to a stop, and he releases my hand when Ryder and Vicki come into view. Both are standing on the deck outside the bridge. Vicki stands before him with tears running down her face. My brother’s eyes narrow on her, and he leans his face down to hers, but I can’t make out what he’s saying over the gathering crowd. But I do notice that the boat begins to turn directions. He says something to her, and then she lets out a huff. She then stomps her foot.
“Wait until I tell your mother about this.”
Ryder laughs at that. “Go ahead and run your little fucking mouth.” She gasps, and my eyes widen. Did he just say that? I’ve known my brother can be a dick, but I’ve never seen it firsthand. “And see where it gets you.” He spins and looks around at the partygoers who have been watching the exchange. He hasn’t noticed me and Jaycent yet, though. He raises his hands. “We’re going back to port. If you wanna get off, get off,” he says carelessly.
“What ...?” I ask Jaycent, but then Vicki speaks.
“I will not get off this boat.”
My brother’s eyes land on mine and then Jaycent’s, and he grinds his teeth. He turns around, giving us his back to face her. “Your ass is getting off this boat no matter what you think.”
She lets out a scream, and I look around for Ashlyn. I haven’t seen her out here. “Where’s Ashlyn?” I ask more to myself than anyone else.
“I don’t see her,” Jaycent answers as he looks around.
I decide to make my way down below where I know his master cabin is, ignoring Jaycent as he calls my name.
I open the door to my brother’s room, running inside. “Are you okay?” I ask when I see her standing there. I look over her quickly, wide-eyed and confused as to what is happening.
“Why would you ask me that?” she asks.
I sigh. “Ry just ordered the captain to turn the boat around. He and Vicki are up there yelling at each other this very second in front of everyone.” It has to be over her. She’s the only one he would stand up for like that. Well, anyone other than me.
“Shit!” she hisses. “I don’t want him to ruin his birthday party. I need to stop him.”
“He’s already made up his mind, Ashlyn,” I tell her softly. I can see she’s upset. I wish I knew what happened. “When Ry makes up his mind, there’s no changing it.”
She sighs as she looks at me, and I feel sorry for her. “I’m sorry, Becca.”
I frown. “For what ...?”
The bedroom door opening cuts me off. Ryder enters with a look of disgust. “Becca, can you leave us,” he orders, giving me no room to argue. I walk over to her and give her a hug then walk out.
JAYCENT
I see Becca coming up the stairs to the main deck. “Everything okay?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Something big is going on,” she answers as she looks at me with pity in her eyes.
“But you’re okay?” I ask, reassuring myself.
She nods. “It’s between Ryder and Ashlyn.”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. “They’ll be okay,” I say. Since she went downstairs, things have already started to calm down up here. The moment Ryder announced the boat was returning to port, everyone started to get on their phones. Probably planning to get off and find another party to go to.
“I don’t know ...” she trails off.
I lean down and kiss her softly on the lips, trying to help ease her worries when I hear someone beside us clear their throat.
Becca pulls away quickly. She places her hand over her heart and sighs. “Vicki.” She must have had a moment of panic and thought it was Ryder.
Vicki looks at her, streaks run down her cheeks from where her tears have removed her makeup, but her nose is up in the air in perfect Vicki style and her shoulders back, showing off her fake tits. I’ve fucked Vicki before. I’m pretty sure every guy who was on any sports team did. She had a reputation of spreading her legs for attention. “I need you to speak to the captain,” she orders Becca.
“What?” Becca asks, her dark brows pulling together.
“Ryder ordered him to turn around.” She snorts as if that’s not possible.
“I need you to tell him never mind.”
Becca shakes her head slowly. “I can’t do that, Vicki. If Ryder wants—”
“Yes, you can,” she interrupts her. “I told him I’m not getting off this boat.
And I meant that.” She crosses her arms over her chest and pops her right hip out, tapping her high heel on the boat deck.
Becca’s eyes widen a bit at her statement, and I decide to jump in. “I’m
sorry, Vicki, but Ryder made the order. Becca can’t help you.”
Her eyes find mine as if she just realizes I’m here. She then looks me up and down as if disgusted by my appearance. “What are you doing here, Jaycent?” Then she looks back at Becca. “Is your mother paying him too?”
“Excuse me?” Becca asks, and my eyes widen. Does Vicki know about what her mom has been doing? I’ve always hated this woman and never had a problem with telling her just that, but she has officially stunned me to silence with her words.
I look to see how far we are from the port as she speaks again. “Oh, don’t act like you didn’t know your mother was paying Conner to be with you.”
“Vicki ...” I snap.
She places her nose up in the air as she looks at Becca. “Oh, that’s cute. You really thought Conner loved you. When all he ever did was cheat on you. It was always just for the money.” Becca looks at her in total shock while Vicki turns to me. “So what is she paying you?”
I step closer to her. “Shut the fuck up, Vicki,” I growl, fisting my hands down by my side. She looks down at them with a smirk. “Gonna hit me, Jaycent?” I’ve never hit a woman, and I refuse to give her that satisfaction. She laughs and
looks at Becca. “Like you didn’t know. Everyone knows. Not like your mother has kept it a secret—” Becca slaps her across the face, cutting off her words.
Vicki takes a step back as she gasps, holding her face. Becca moves toward her, and I reach out, wrapping my hand around her upper arm. “Get off my brother’s boat,” she says in a deadly voice, and I have a feeling she is imagining ripping her eyes out.
Vicki stares at her with wide eyes and her hand still on her face. “How dare you!” she shrieks and then frantically starts to dig in her small purse. “I’m calling your mother.” She pulls her phone out, and Becca snatches it out of her hands. She turns and throws it overboard with a growl.
“I’ll call her myself,” Becca says. “When this boat comes to a stop, you will be getting off,” she informs her.
“You all think you’re better than I am? That you can treat me like trash?” she demands. “Well, you can’t ...”
“This is my brother’s boat, and if he doesn’t want you here, then you’re not welcome. How hard is that for you to understand?” She’s screaming so loud, and everyone is watching with their phones in their hands. Although I’m glad she is sticking up for herself, she would kill me if this ended up on a social media site.
“Come on, Becca?” I say, pulling her back.
A member of the boat staff comes up to us, and Becca looks up at him. He’s dressed in a black tux and has his hands crossed behind his back. “Ms. O’Kane—”
“Make sure she is escorted off this boat once it docks.” She interrupts him, and then without another word, she turns around and heads to the glass door.
I follow after her as she makes her way through the elaborate living room and then down the stairs, a long hallway, and through another set of doors. We walk silently down another long hallway and then she storms into a bedroom. The walls a rich brown color and the bed sits in the middle pressed up against a big window overlooking the water. I can see the port not far ahead. The white bedding matches the color of the carpet.
“Becca?” I ask as I close the door.
She spins around to face me, her face red with rage and her nostrils flared. “Was she telling the truth?”
I wanna ask which part, but instead, I go with, “No,” and shake my head. “Your mother has never paid me.”
“No, about Conner,” she shouts. “It sounded like you didn’t want her talking about it.” I run a hand through my hair and sigh. “I can’t fucking believe you,” she growls. “You knew she was paying him? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I just found out—”
“When?” she snaps, interrupting me.
I look away from her and at the gold lamp that sits on the nightstand and whisper, “When we were in Panama.”
She gasps. “That was three weeks ago.” I nod, looking back at her. “That is not just found out, Jaycent,” she shouts.
I take a step toward her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you what she had done.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “You were so torn up over your breakup that I didn’t want to hurt you even more.” She looks away from me, and my chest tightens. “I’m sorry.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” she whispers.
“I’m not sure,” I say honestly.
Her eyes come back to mine, and I can see the tears start to well. “How could you keep that from me?” She sniffs. “How could she do that to me?” she asks, shaking her head. Her brows crease, and she licks her lips. “I even told you that I didn’t know why he stayed with me when I knew he didn’t love me and that was your chance to tell me that you knew why. That he was being paid.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I thought ...” She pauses. “I thought that what we have was different.”
“It is,” I assure her.
She looks away from me and nods her head as if she’s trying to convince herself that. “I love you, Becca.” I take a step toward her.
“Then why would you keep that secret from me?” she asks softly, shaking her head.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, opening my arms and holding my breath. Thankfully, she lets out a long breath and falls into them. I hold her tightly, and she sniffs again. She wraps her arms around my back, and I let out a long breath.
“I don’t understand. Why would she pay him to be with me?” she asks softly.
And I hate that I kept that from her. But I know the reason to this. I have to tell her. I take another deep breath. “I know why.” She looks up at me, and the first tear slides down her cheek. “I didn’t tell you because I knew the reason behind it. And I didn’t want to hurt you.” She just stares at me as if she’s waiting for me to tell her some big secret. I hate that she’s right. “Your mother didn’t want you to stay in Manhattan. She wanted you to go to Seattle because she wanted you away from me.”
She unwraps her arms from around me and pulls away. I allow her to go. “That doesn’t make sense,” she says, shaking her head. “My mother voiced her opinion all the time about not wanting me to go to Seattle. She wanted me to stay here. It was my father who never voiced his opinion on that.”
I run a hand through my hair. “That I don’t know, baby. You’ll have to ask her,” I say, and she flinches as if talking to her mother is the last thing she wants to do. “Then tell me why she would want me away from you?” she asks as she sniffs. I run a hand through my hair nervously and swallow. “Just tell me, Jayce. I deserve to know the truth.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
BECCA
He nods. My chest is tight, and my stomach in knots. What could be so bad that my mother would pay my boyfriend to be with me?
“Remember when I beat up Conner in Panama?” I nod. “He told me that your mother wanted you to go to Seattle to get away from me.”
“Why would that matter to her?” I ask confused. This makes no sense.
He grabs my hand and walks me over to the neatly made bed. He sits down, and I follow him, knowing this is not going to be good. He releases my hand, and I place them in my lap. “Your mother had an affair with my dad when I was twenty-five.” I would have been eighteen. Around the same time she started to hate Jaycent. Is that why she hated him? Because she knew he knew about her and his father? How could she hate him for her mistake?
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. So I shift on the bed and try again. “Why? How do you know that?” I ask softly. It’s no secret that my parents aren’t happily married. I have never known of either one having an affair, but we all knew it was probable.
“I walked in on them at my father’s house one day.”
I look down at my nails and pretend to pick at them. He places his hand on my chin and lifts it to look back at him. “She loved my father, Becca. And when he didn’t return it, she hated him. In return, she hated me. And when she realized that you loved me, she wanted you to go to Seattle to get away from me.”
I start shaking my head quickly and stand from the bed. “That’s not possible.”
He looks up at me, still sitting on the side of the bed. “I saw it.”
“No, I believe you when you say they had an affair. But there was no way for her to know that I loved you,” I state, shaking my head again.
He stands. “She did. That’s what Conner said.”
“How would she have known?” I ask, still not believing it. I run a hand through my hair, trying to figure out why I care so much. My mother paid my boyfriend; does there need to be a reason? Will that make me hate her any less? No.
“I can’t answer that question, babe,” he says softly.
I look up at him now standing in front of me again. His light brown eyes soft as they search mine. He lifts his right hand and cups my face. My throat tightens as the tears fill my eyes. And my vision starts to blur.
“I’m sorry, Becca,” he whispers.
The first tear falls, and I cover my face with both of my hands. How stupid she made me look. It never meant shit. Four years of my life wasted on a man who used me.
Jaycent
wraps his arms around me, and I cry harder as I feel his lips kiss my hair.
**
My cell sits beside me on the bed as it lights up again silently. It’s my mother. She’s calling me for the fifteenth time in the past two hours. I press ignore. I’m sure she’s blowing up my brother’s phone too. I hope he’s doing the same I am.
“Do you wanna discuss it?” Jaycent asks as he sits up in the bed beside me. I just shake my head.
We haven’t spoken one word since he told me everything. We did, however, make our way to the bed. He held me while I cried as if the tears were going to change my past. There’s nothing to say. My mother had an affair with Jaycent’s dad. And then she hired my boyfriend to be with me. There’s no gray area when it comes to that situation. No way to justify or define it. My relationship was a scam, and I was stupid enough to believe it was more.
My heart aches as I try to wrap my head around the lie that was my relationship with Conner. And the fact that my mother could look me in the eyes over the past four years as she paid my boyfriend! Because she was afraid I would end up with the life she wanted.
Who does that? What kind of mother can do that to her child? Tears start to sting my eyes as I stare down at the white comforter.
“Becca?” Jaycent asks, placing his hand on my shoulder.
I turn my body away from him. “I’ll be fine,” I say, sniffing again. These aren’t sad tears. They’re pissed-off tears!
I push his hand off as I sink down into the bed, pulling the covers over my head. I just want this day to end.
Jaycent wraps his arm around me and pulls my back into his front. He kisses my shoulder. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers.
I hate that I’m mad at him. I hate my mother for putting us in this situation. “I ... can’t,” I say pulling away from him and shoving off the covers. “I can’t be in here,” I tell him, standing. I grab my phone off the bed and open the door to the cabin and run down the hallway. My throat tightens as I run up the stairs two at a time. I come to a stop and place my hands on my knees, bending over as I suck in a breath of the cool night air.
Myself (Selfish Series, #2) Page 18