After Jaycent leaves, I softly knock on Ashlyn’s bedroom door. When she doesn’t answer, I check to see if it’s locked and gently push it open when I find it’s not. “Ashlyn?” I call out. Her bed is made but empty. Harry lies on it tucked into a ball with his eyes closed. A soft light shines under the bathroom door open, so I go over to it. I open it and look around but don’t see Ashlyn. I go to shut the door, thinking maybe she’s in the kitchen, when my eyes catch the water on the floor. Looking at the bathtub, I see it’s full, and as I look closer, I see Ashlyn emerged.
I run over to the tub and drop to my knees. “Ashlyn?” I call out, seeing her completely underwater. When she makes no move, I reach in, grab her arm, and yank her up.
She gasps as water splashes over the side of the tub and onto the floor, soaking my clothes.
“What in the hell are you doing?” I ask as my heart races.
She runs her hands over her face, pushing her wet hair back. She opens her eyes and looks over at me. “I just needed a moment to be alone,” she says breathing heavy. “You scared me.”
“I scared you?” I ask wide-eyed. “You scared me.” I can’t imagine anything happening to her. She’s not only my best friend, but I already consider her a sister.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” she says softly. “I just needed some silence.”
“Did it help?” I ask as I finally calm down and sit on her bathroom floor, not caring about the water. I’m already soaked.
“No,” she responds, looking down into the water. “I can’t shut off my mind.”
Her hair and face are wet, and even I can still make out the tears running down her cheeks. “It’s gonna be okay,” I tell her.
“I messed up,” she whispers.
“No, you didn’t. Ryder should have let you explain.”
She shakes her head. “I shouldn’t have had to explain. He should have already known what was going on.”
“This isn’t your fault,” I tell her, reaching up and touching her arm softly. It’s cold.
“Then whose is it?” she demands, yanking her arm from me. “Someone is always at fault, Becca. Always. And this is on me.” She slides farther down into the water and places the back of her head on the tub.
I look down at the floor and see her bracelet, lying in one the puddles. “You took it off,” I say as I pick it up.
“Yes. You can give it back to him,” she says, not even bothering to look over at me.
I stand and turn, placing it on the counter. “No,” I say. She looks over at me, and a fresh tear falls down her face. “You can give it to him.” I decide I’m not going to let her wallow in her pity. I’m gonna help her get through this even if it tears us apart. “Get your ass up. Get dressed and meet me in the living room in thirty.”
“Becca, I’m not in the mood,” she says, shaking her head.
“And I’m not in the mood to watch you be this woman who gives a man so much power.” She sighs. “This is not you, Ashlyn.” She pulls her knees to her chest, the water splashing around at her movement. “I’m calling in Chinese, and I’m opening a bottle of wine. We’re gonna sit on the couch, drink, and watch a movie. You’ve got thirty minutes,” I repeat and then walk out, leaving her no chance to argue.
JAYCENT
I sit at a round booth back in the corner of a bar. Ryder sits across from me with one hand on his phone and the other wrapped around his fifth glass of whiskey. He hasn’t said much and hasn’t mentioned anything about Ashlyn, but he’s drinking like he’s on a mission to forget. He’s drinking like a man who is hurt and trying to numb the pain.
I lift my drink and take a sip as I pull my phone out of my pocket. I check it and sigh when I see I have no recent texts or calls. I figured I would hear from Becca. She must be busy with Ashlyn.
“So what have you been up to?” he finally asks me. “Kelly asked about you the other day.” He laughs as if that was funny somehow. “Was asking questions about you. You were right. Good thing you never hit that.” He lifts his drink and swallows a good amount.
My phone slips out of my hand at his question and lands on the table. “Oh, what did she have to say?” I ask as if I’m truly curious. I’m not.
He sits back in his seat. “Just that she heard you were seeing someone and asked if I knew who it was.”
The back of my neck starts to sweat. “No.” I scratch my head. “Not sure who she would hear that from.” That’s not good. But expected. Everyone seems to know now but Ryder.
He waves his hand in the air. “You know how women are. They make up shit in order to get what they want.” I frown at his words since they make no sense.
“What does that mean?” I ask, wanting him to clear that up for me.
He waves his glass in the air. “You know. She probably just wanted to know if you were available and chose to make it up that you were seeing someone in order for me to say, no, he’s not.”
“Is that what you said?”
“Of course.” He snorts. “If you were, I’d know about it.” He checks his phone again as if he’s waiting for a call. I hope he’s waiting to talk to Ashlyn and not some woman he plans to hook up with tonight. He takes a swig. “Plus, you’re the smart one.”
“Smart one?”
He nods. “Between the two of us. You’re the one who just wants to fuck them.” He tosses back his drink. He’s not making any sense, considering he too just fucks them. “I’m the one who goes and falls in love.” He goes to take another drink but frowns when he finds it empty.
I hate to see him like this. So upset. I have to play like I don’t know what he’s talking about. So I say, “You’re falling in love with Ashlyn?”
He sighs. “Wasn’t that obvious?”
I look up at his eyes, and they’re heavy, and his head keeps bobbing around as if it’s too heavy to hold up. He’s feeling pretty good. “Yes, but you never came out and said it.”
He starts to laugh. “Thank God for that. I’d like to keep a little dignity,” he slurs.
“How is Ashlyn?” I have to ask, and I hate how he flinches at the mention of her name. I was once there as well, but it was by his sister. And what sucked worse was that I couldn’t talk to him about it. Mainly why I just fucked women.
He lifts his empty glass as if a waitress is gonna see he needs a refill. She’s not. It’s not that type of bar. “We broke up,” he replies flatly, his humor now gone.
“Oh?” I raise a brow in surprise. “What happened?”
He slams his empty glass on the table. “She was seeing someone else.”
I have to tread lightly here. I don’t want to go against Becca. No matter how much Ryder’s relationship is on the line. I’ve always been known to be a little selfish. For four years, I’ve wanted Becca, and now that I finally have her, I’m not going to let Ryder’s stupidity and pride get the best of my relationship. So I pick my words carefully. “I don’t see her doing that—”
I caught them,” he growls, interrupting me.
“Ryder ...”
He leans up and places his forearms on the table. “I walked in on them. Not long before I had called you.”
“Doing what?” I ask ‘cause I may not have seen what he saw, but I know for a fact that Ashlyn was in her bedroom and Bradley was already in the kitchen. So it’s not like he caught them in bed together, fucking.
“Well, I walked in on him standing in the kitchen with Becca. I thought at first he was sleeping with her.” My jaw clenches at the thought. “Then she walked out, dressed in a t-shirt and calling him babe.” He spits out the word. “So it’s over.”
I toss back my drink and lick my lips. As I watch the way his fist clenches his glass, I realize just how much he is hurting. Just how much he feels for her. I have to tell him something. “Ryder, about him ...”
“I mean I was stupid,” he says, shaking his head. “You know I thought she was the one.”
My chest tightens at his words. “Call her,” I tell him. “Call h
er and talk to
her. Maybe it’s not what you think.”
“Oh, I know exactly what it was.”
I hate to see him like this. I hated seeing Ashlyn the same way. How can two people in love get so lost? “Ryder, I—”
“I need a new drink,” he states, interrupting me again, and stands from the booth. I sit back and look down at my phone, wondering what to do. I can’t tell him what I know. I refuse to jeopardize my relationship with Becca because he wants to be stubborn.
I throw back a drink and realize I’m empty as well. I get up from the table and make my way to the bar. Ryder stands there, taking a drink from a now full glass, and I slam it down beside it.
“Another?” he asks.
I nod. “Why not? Not like I’m in a hurry to get home.”
He takes another sip and turns around, placing his back against the bar. I watch as his eyes look over all the half-naked woman laughing and dancing. “You should call her,” I say.
He snorts then lifts his drink for another gulp. “It’s not that easy.”
“You’re making it difficult,” I grind out. I wanna yell at him that Bradley isn’t going to give up. That he needs to up his game and fight for her. That he has already won because he left too, but I don’t. I can’t.
He snorts. “Since when did you become an expert on relationships? I’m pretty sure you threw away the only one you ever had,” he says, referring to Jasmine, and then walks off into the crowd.
I follow him, knowing that tonight might be one of those nights when you get into a fight with your best friend.
Drink in hand, I come to a stop when I find him on the dance floor, grinding with a woman. He has both hands up in the air, one still holding his new drink. She has her back to him; her ass shoved into his front. She looks like your typical bar slut. Her ass cheeks hang out of her short black leather skirt that is paired with a yellow tube top and black heels. Her jet black hair is down and wet from sweat.
I shake my head, trying to think of how to get him away from her and back to our corner booth. I’m not gonna force him to leave, but I will make sure he doesn’t do anything he’ll regret come tomorrow.
She spins around and grabs his free hand. She walks off, dragging him toward the hallway, and I know exactly where they are going. I take off after them and come up to them before they reach the bathroom. I grab his arm that holds his drink and yank him backward, the liquor spilling out over the sides and onto the floor.
“Jayyycennnt ...?” He slurs my name as he gives me a crooked smile.
“We’re going home,” I tell him.
“Not yet,” the woman says, trying to pull him away from me.
“We are,” I say sternly.
“In a minute,” he says, turning to face her.
I yank on his hand hard enough to break their connection, and he stumbles into me. “Yes, we are,” I growl.
He drops his drink, the glass shattering, and then he shoves me. “Fuck off, Jaycent.”
I grind my teeth. This is exactly what I was trying to avoid, but now, it’s staring me in the face. “I’m not leaving this bar without you.”
He rolls his shoulders as if they’re tense. “Then you’re going to be here a little longer,” he snaps.
I look at the woman and then back at him. “You don’t want to do this,” I say, trying a different approach.
“You don’t know what I want,” he growls.
“She’s not her.” I look over her half-naked body and smeared makeup.
“Excuse me?” she snaps. I ignore her, giving him my attention once again.
“She’s not Ashlyn, Ryder. Don’t ruin what you have with her over this woman.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BECCA
I sit on the couch; my shoes are tossed on the floor, and a blanket covers my lap while I’m watching TV. Top Gun plays on the screen, a movie that I could repeat line for line. It’s also Ashlyn’s favorite, which is why I picked it.
Food litters the coffee table in front of me along with a glass of white wine. I’ve turned the TV up louder than I would normally listen to it in an attempt to draw Ashlyn out of her room. I can’t help but smile when I hear her door open. She’s a little past her thirty minutes but better later than never. Moments later, I hear a meow, and then Harry is jumping up into my lap.
“Hey, boy,” I say, petting his back. “Did you miss me?” I ask as if he can answer. He just meows.
“What are you doing in here?”
I look up to see Ashlyn standing by the couch. Ryder’s shirt hangs off her shoulders, and a pair of white shorts peek out from underneath. “Eating dinner and watching a movie,” I say, and she turns to look at the TV. Her hair is still wet from her bath, but it’s pulled up in a clippie.
She looks back down at me. “Wanna join me?” I ask, patting the seat next to me. She falls down beside me, and I hide my smile by looking away from her.
“Didn’t think I had a choice.” I don’t say anything ‘cause she didn’t. “Why aren’t you out with Jaycent?” she asks softly.
“He went out with Ryder,” I say, and the moment the words leave my mouth, I look over at her with regret.
Her eyes meet mine, and they instantly fill with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Not your fault.”
I let go of Harry and reach out to grab her hand. “I know this looks bad, but there’s an easy fix to this.”
“And what’s that?” she asks, not looking at me.
“You can call him.”
“He won’t answer.”
“Then text him,” I urge.
“He won’t read it,” she says softly.
“You don’t know that,” I argue.
She lets out a sigh and turns to face me. A single tear runs down her face. “Can we just watch the movie?” she asks. “I don’t wanna talk about Ryder anymore tonight.”
I nod. Leaning over, I grab the extra plate of Chinese food off the coffee table and sit back, handing it over to her. She takes it without question and starts eating it as I softly smile at her. I know my brother, and he just needs some time. He’ll come back. And he’ll come back needing her just as much as she needs him.
My phone dings, and I look down to see it’s a message from Jaycent.
Jaycent: I’ve got Ryder, and we are leaving the bar.
I sigh in relief, knowing he’s not going home with another woman. I look over at Ashlyn as she watches TV. “The guys are on their way home,” I inform her just to see what she says.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No. Just thought you would want to know,” I offer.
She’s quiet for a few seconds and then sighs heavily. “How did I get here?” she asks. I’m not sure if she’s talking to me or herself, so I stay silent. She shifts on the couch. “I never wanted this to happen. That’s why I tried to push him away.”
“But it did,” I say.
“And look where we are at now,” she says, opening her arms out wide. “I’m here with you, and he’s out at a bar.”
“He’s headed home,” I correct her.
She turns to face me. “And tomorrow night?” I open my mouth, but she continues. “And the next? How long until I give up on him like he did me?”
“You’ve already given up,” I say simply. “You haven’t tried to call him or tried to text him. You’ve let him win. He thinks you cheated, and you’re okay with that.”
“I’m not,” she snaps.
“Then do something about it,” I say angrily. “Do it for you. Not him.”
She falls back into the couch and lets out a long sigh. I try to hide my smile with the realization that I just got through to her.
JAYCENT
I hold Ryder up with my right arm under his shoulders as we stand in the elevator of his office building. He wanted to go to his office, and I didn’t argue. I figured winning one battle tonight was enough. But I was afraid if I just dropped him off
at the front door, he would never make it up to his office.
The doors open, and we shuffle out into the dark office. Opening his office door, I place him on his couch by the wall. He throws his arm over his face as I turn on his light. “Do you need anything?” I ask before I leave him.
“No,” he mumbles.
“Okay. Do I need to bring you anything from your place? That you will need in the morning?” Tomorrow is Monday, so I’m not sure if he has another suit here in his closet or not.
“Nooo,” he slurs, turning onto his side and giving me his back. He kicks off his shoes, and they fall to the floor with a thud.
I run a hand through my hair. I feel bad just leaving him here like this. But he’s a grown man. He’ll be fine. Better off here than at the bar.
A phone rings, and he digs into his pocket. He looks up and looks at it. Then lets out a groan as he tosses it to the floor. It lands face up, and I see it’s Ashlyn. I hate to leave her hanging. I can at least let her know that he is okay.
I reach down and pick it up, pressing answer.
“Ryder,” comes her soft voice. “I’m sorry.” She sniffs. “I know I messed up, but it wasn’t what you think. I swear I didn’t sleep with him.” I hold the phone not sure what to say. I hate to interrupt her now. And then she says the words that make my chest tighten. “I ... I love you. Please know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.” As I think of something to say, the line goes dead.
I look over at him, his back still facing me as I hold his phone. “Ryder?” I ask confused and shocked at what she just said. I shouldn’t have answered his phone. I should have said something to her. Let her know it wasn’t him. “Ryder?” I say a little louder. He still doesn’t respond.
I reach down and shove him. “Ryder?” I snap.
“What?” he asks, turning on his back. I toss his phone onto his chest. “Ashlyn called you.”
“Dooon’t annnswerrr,” he slurs.
“I already did,” I say, and he says nothing. “She said she was sorry.”
“Yeah? I am too.” His eyes are closed, and his arms are crossed over his chest. “Sorry I ever met her,” he adds angrily.
Myself (Selfish Series, #2) Page 21