She listened as he huffed and puffed.
"I can't help it if he's sick, I-..."
He was obviously cut off, and was standing and listening.
"There is no one that can cover tonight?"
Again, listening.
"It's not right, I should not be forced to come in, when I called a few days ago-..."
Crystal turned leaning back against the kitchen counter listening to him, watching him as he turned to look at her, angry as he could be. As she watched him, she thought for a moment that he would quit, but instead, he ended it.
"I'm only working tonight! Not Saturday night! And since I'm working tonight, I was to come back on Sunday, no way - I'm off Sunday." He informed whomever it was he was speaking to. He listened another moment and then, "Yeah, whatever." And hung up the phone looking at Crystal, "Well that blows our day!"
"You've got to go into work?"
"Yes, pisses me off, I had off until Sunday. Hell, I might as well go back to bed, what were you gonna do today?" He asked, leaning against the bathroom door.
"I'm gonna fix you something to eat, then go do Rochelle's hair, I don't know after that."
"How about you call her up, tell her you've had a change of plans, and stay at home with your husband? How about that?"
Crystal glanced over her shoulder at him, that was the last thing she wanted to do, but - "Okay, I'll give her a call. Maybe she can come here."
"In that case, you might as well go there. If she's here, how is that time for us?"
"Fine Victor, I'll call her, reschedule."
"Thank you, we should just chill here at home together today, work on getting close the way we once were." He declared making his way across the room towards her, moving up behind her. "We're long overdue for that." He went on.
"When does your counselling start, what the judge ordered?" She asked, trying to ignore his body up close behind her, his hands, at her waist, moving slowly up and down, signalling that he wanted to pull her back against him, his face going towards her neck.
"Not sure, haven't checked the sheet." He kissed her neck, his hands moving over her flat stomach, and then down. "Emmm, you smell good, good enough to eat." He groaned and grinded his growing erection against her buttocks.
"Victor! Stop now. I can't believe you haven't looked to see when you - would you stop." She couldn't finish what she was saying, for grabbing his hand that moved over her lower mound, his fingers boldly touching her. "No, Victor."
"I want you, I want you so bad, please Crystal? Come on baby - it's been so long."
"No Victor, I've been home for just a little over a day, we haven't talked about anything. You haven't made any attempt to prove you'll be doing your counselling. You just want me back in bed, as if nothing has happened between us."
Moving quickly, aggressively up behind her, pushing her into the counter, he slammed his hand on the kitchen counter, trapping her between him and it, "Dammit! You fuckin' think I'm stupid, huh? This about that, Ben? Huh? Is it? You don't act the same with me-..."
"Move Victor!" She tried to push herself out, he wasn't letting her out. In fact, he was proving to her, that she was not stronger than him, she was not physically capable of making him do anything if he didn't want to, he wanted her to understand that he was not weak or hen-pecked and all that happened in the past, was in the past.
"No! You answer me! You got a thing for that, Ben? Do you? You don't melt when I touch you anymore! I used to touch you, just look at you a certain way, and you would melt, now,-..."
"Stop it Victor." She ground out through clenched teeth, he was starting to worry her a bit, this was a different person and she couldn't push her way out, nor could she turn around, he wasn't letting her. Suddenly his arms banned around her, trapping her arms against her body, gripping her wrists as well, he backed away from the counter, lifting her off her feet, and he wasn't huffing and puffing to do it as if forcing himself, it was coming pretty easy.
"What are you doing? Let go of me! I mean it!" She yelled at him as he was carrying her, even while she struggled, kicking, her heal caught his shin.
"Ow! Damnnit! That hurt!" He barked in her ear.
"Let me go, or I'll kick it again!" She threatened, they were at their bedroom door, she had her legs up, her feet braced against the door frame to keep him from taking her in, he simply backed up, turned with his back to the door and backed in that way. Inside the room, he fell to the bed still holding her; she was now trapped beneath him, his weight pressing down on her. "VICTOR! GET OFF!!"
He pulled her arms from beneath her, holding her wrists tightly, and spread them up and wide, winging them, pinning her in place, refusing to move off of her, looking down into her face, turned sideways in order for her to breathe, "What's going on, huh? Tell me! Is this about him?!" He pleaded, unable to help himself, it scared him that he seemed to no longer have control of her emotions. "You in love with him? Huh, Crystal? Come on, don't do this to us!" He pleaded.
"Let - me - up!"
"I thought you loved me Crystal? Don't you love me anymore?!"
"If I didn't love you, would I be back here? I didn't have to come back here you know, I could have stayed where I was! But if you're going to keep pulling this, I'm going back."
He leapt off of her, pulling her into his arms as he laid on is back, holding onto her tightly, now pleading with her, "Okay okay okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What am I suppose to think Crystal? What am I to think? All I've ever wanted was you." He imparted passionately, unable to turn her loose. She braced her hands at his shoulders to keep from laying on him, even though their lower bodies were melded, he was still semi-erect, moving it ever so slightly against her.
"Then prove it Victor! Counselling - when? I do not - want a marriage - that is just about - sex! That's all I ever was to you, a sex partner that only you had."
"Is that still so, Crystal? Am I still, the only one, that's had you? Am I?"
"Have you heard anything else I've said?"
"I have Crystal, I'm listening, okay? I am listening, but - I need to know, am I - the only one?"
"Yes - yes - yes! I have been with no one but you!" She looked him right in the eyes to declare.
His hand moved down over her buttocks, caressing it.
"Stop it, Victor! Answer me about counselling!"
"Okay! Yeah - I'll go, I'll do it. Can I make love to you?"
"When you prove, what you're saying, is true. I want you to look at the papers the judge gave you; Victor, stop doing that!" She ordered, he was grinding up to her, his hand squeezing the cheek of her rear, clearly turned on with her laying on top of him, he was getting harder as she spoke to him.
"I want you so bad, how the hell do you expect me to ignore what you make me feel? Just one time, please?"
"Start going to counselling, like I'm going, and then we can go from there, now let me up. Get those papers, check the appointment times and get that ball rolling, I mean it."
He finally gave up, releasing her. She moved back off the bed and got to her feet, fixing her clothing, her hair.
He sat up, staring at her, his eyes going straight to the juncture of her thighs, "You feel it's the same if I striped you down and ate it, licked it, would you mind that?"
"Ack!" Crystal gasped shaking her head, "You ain't eaten shit, but the food I'm about to cook you! Now get them papers and look to see what your meetings are!" She turned and stormed out the room.
Victor sighed, stood and went back into the bathroom, and in the shower. A few moments later, he was out, drying off, dressed in his loungers. He came out, towel wrapped around his neck, "Can I at least bother you for a haircut?" He asked on his way to the radio, turning it on. Crystal looked up, smiled, "Sure, that's the least I can do. I found the papers, they're on the table." She gestured towards them with a lift of her chin, "There's a number on there that you have to call, and then they go over your schedule with you. You have to set it up that way."
He nodded, walked
to the table, picked the sheet up, she'd highlighted the number for him, he glanced up at her. "You know how many meetings that judge wants me to go to? Where am I gonna find time for that, and still have time to work, time for us?"
"And time for the boys, remember them?"
"Of course I remember them! Why do you always have to accuse me of leaving them out?"
"Call the number Victor, I'll get my stuff to cut your hair."
He went to the phone and called the number as she asked him. He was on the phone for thirty minutes trying to get himself scheduled, they reminded him of his obligations to his 72 hour community service which would start on Monday, his day off. He had to sort out time for the 48 hours of DWI classes, set a meeting time for his 36 hours at AA - which would fall on Tuesday nights, 6:30 to 7:30. And anger management, he had to do 36 hours of that as well, Thursdays, 6:00 to 7:00. Giving him time to get home, nap, eat - whatever before he was to get off to work. When he came off the phone, he showed Crystal his schedule.
"Would you look at this, how am I gonna work this out?"
Crystal looked it over, standing behind him about to cut his hair, putting the cape on him, taking the sheet from him, it read, Monday, 4 hours, community service at the community center to assist the homeless. Tuesday morning, 10:00 to 12:00 for DWI, and that evening, 6:30 to 7:30 for AA, and Thursday, a night he had to work, 6:00 to 7:00 for anger management. "I don't see a problem with this schedule, you have to do it Victor, or else you'll be back in court. Just do it. And, we're going to have to squeeze an hour in for marriage counselling."
"You gotta be kidding, you said that all I had to do was these?"
"Yeah, you do, and one to help us - I don't see how those listed is going to help us Victor, and whether you think we need help or not, we do."
"Only real problem we had, let's be honest here, is you trying to wear the pants in our marriage and dictate my every move." He glanced up at her over his shoulder.
"Excuse me, if we're going to be honest here, that was not our only problem! One of our problems is, you think you're better than me!"
That got him up out of the chair, snatching the cape off, "What?! Bullshit!"
"You - Victor Prescott - have always been condescending to me! You have always treated me like I was the lucky one, to have you! Like I was a charity case and you were doing me a favor being with me."
"That's nonsense!" He defended, but his blushing red face, gave him away.
"Yeah, that's why you turning so red, because I've hit the nail on the head! As I've said to you more than enough times now, I know I was wrong for hitting you, but you know what, you did your part in provoking me, admit it!"
"How can anything I say or do provoke you?"
"The same way that someone out in the street, can say something to provoke you! You've had enough fights to know exactly what I'm saying, so don't play dumb Victor, don't even do it! That's just further insult to my intelligence to even try to skirt around that valid point - that you and I - both know, you're guilty of it!"
"Oh, I get this, now - everything is my fault all of a sudden! I see how this is, it's turn the table time! Make me out to be the one that's done all the wrong here!"
"Nobody said you did all the wrong, but you have done your part! And the day is over, that I'm going to be taking all the blame for what's wrong with us! Because regardless of all the rest, I've never cheated on you, have I?!"
"Oh, you just had to bring that up! That's over and done with, I said I was sorry about that! Even so, we were separated at the time, so it doesn't really count, does it?"
"Excuse me?! Doesn't count? We were separated? If that's the case, why do you keep going on and on about me, and whether I've done something or not?! If what you say is true, separation means it's okay, then that means I was free to do the same, right?! Well? Cat got your tongue? Obviously so, you've suddenly gone even more red and speechless to boot!"
"Can we just drop Jeanine, she's out of the picture, she doesn't matter." Was all he could say to that.
"You would like that wouldn't you? But if we were to analyze that situation, it says to me, that you thought so little of me, and your marriage to me, that you felt free to do as you please! But I can't help but wonder, had I done something with someone else, while we were, 'separated'..." she gestured with both hands and a double finger quotation, "...would we even be standing here right now? Something tells me, no way - you would be gone. Care to address that?"
"No, I don't, because it's obvious to me, all you wanna do is argue, but then, what's new there? I wanna make love, you wanna war! You wanna make me out to be the bad guy, so you can feel better about yourself and win this argument. I'll make it easy for you - fine, I'm guilty of everything, what an asshole I've been, you poor thing! There - can we move on now?"
Crystal stood stewing, and shaking her head, she grabbed up her cape, rolled it around her arm to put it away.
"Thought you were gonna give me a haircut?"
"I changed my mind, I'm not in the mood."
"Why? You should feel proud of yourself, I gave you the argument, isn't that what you wanted? Me to see what a rotten prick I am, done! Now give me a freakin' haircut!"
"Me, in this mood, with scissors in my hand over your head is the last thing you should want right now." She grumbled.
"Ooooh, now you're threatening to stab me in the head! Your counselling is definitely working." He quipped sarcastically.
Turning to defend her statement, Crystal bit out, "That was not a threat as in stabbing you, I meant I couldn't be trusted right now to give you a good haircut! As in, tempted to mess it up! NOT - cause you physical injury such as in stabbing you! But you know what, this is a perfect example of you making yourself out to be the victim and me being the dangerous, lowlife, violent hood rat capable of hurting the innocent white boy!"
"Whoa whoa whoa, what's with the racial shot? Why are you making this racial?!"
"There you go again, insulting my intelligence! The way you are with me, has always been racial! Unlike you, I have the nerve to put it out there, say it like it is!"
"You're talking crazy Crystal, I don't know where all of this is coming from, let's just drop it."
"Drop it so that you don't have to face anything! And I'm gonna tell you now, until you admit your part, and mean what you admit, unlike that earlier b-s you pulled with me, we're not gonna get better. Counselling only works with people who face what's wrong with themselves and are willing to change it, you - don't think there is anything wrong with you. So yeah, we can drop it, fine with me. Personally, I think we should drop everything and just move on."
"See?! Do you see what I mean about you? How can you say that if you really want us to make it? I may have things to face and change, but at least I'm willing to stick to it and make it work, you sound like you'd rather be anywhere doing anything but here with me, making our marriage work. But you expect me to jump through hoops, scheduling for counselling when you don't even want it to work - do you?!"
Crystal sighed, the wind gone out of her. She looked up at him, "I'm here, and I'm trying. All I ask is that you face the truth and do the same."
"I am, I called didn't I?"
"You called judge orders."
"Crystal, call marriage counselling - set it up, we'll squeeze it in, okay? I'll do it, okay? Now, can we stop this please? I have to work tonight, I really don't want the rest of the day spent, with us all uptight from fighting. Please?"
She nodded, "Okay, I'll call around, see where we can afford to get in."
He walked up to her, lifting her face by the chin to look into her eyes, "Let's try not to fight anymore please? Can we not?" He leaned cautiously towards her lips, waiting on her to stop him, she didn't. As much as she didn't want to, she had to give a little, even if it was, only a little. She lifted her mouth so he could kiss it, and he did. She allowed it praying he kept it simple, but no, he pulled her against his body, deepening it, breaking it by mere inches to ask softly
, "Come on Crystal, at least put your arms around me." He lifted her arms to assist. She complied, putting her arms around him, holding him as he kissed her, hugged her tightly, moving against her. She closed her eyes, trying to get into the kiss, and wanted to pull away, but if she did, he would definitely know that her heart wasn't into them. Fighting her thoughts, she tightened her arms around him, pulling him down, and opened her mouth for him. Her heart took off, she wanted to pull away, and then, she conjured Ben up in her mind, imagined that it was him, and endured what was happening. Victor ruined it by pulling away and speaking, saying, "Let's go to bed?"
She broke away, "No, I'm sorry -..."
"Why not Crystal? You're my wife!"
"One step at a time Victor, one step at a time." She turned away, and went back to the counter, wiping the moisture from her mouth, from his kisses, and prayed for a change of heart, prayed to regain the feelings she once had for him. Because she knew it was only a matter of time, before he would expect her to go to bed with him, and then what? She knew what, she would have to give in - that - or give up the play.
* * *
Chicago...
"Okay, spill it, what's going on now?" Sheila asked, sitting across from Sylvia.
"Nothing going on, just wanted to visit you, can't I visit my best friend when I get the need?"
"Usually that need only come, after somebody done either made you mad, or, you need to get away." Sheila pointed out.
Sylvia made a face, sitting back in her chair, "Am I really that way Sheila?"
"You don't mean to be, but you are. And that's okay, I accept that about you - I know you. That's why I know you feeling something to be here now."
Sylvia sighed, looking around the kitchen, "I'm hungry, what you got here to eat?"
Sheila grinned, coming to her feet, "Now you know me, I always got food, what you want, savory or sweet?"
"Emmm, something savory." She smacked her taste buds.
"Your timing on the money, I got some barbecue rib tips left over from last night, and they good as hell!"
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