“Shelly, honey, you didn’t lose a child,” Jace told her calmly. “I scented that you were bleeding when you came to me, but I could also scent that you were fertile. Whatever Vera gave you might have forced you to bleed, but you weren’t carrying.”
“Are you sure, Jace?” Shelly whispered, hope flaring to life within her.
“Yes, honey. Your scent told me that you were ready to conceive,” he assured her. “It didn’t make sense to me that I also scented that you were bleeding. Now I understand why.”
“Jace, we should have done more than banish Vera,” Jackson said angrily.
Jace nodded. He couldn’t help but growl softly as he thought about the woman who had also tried to cause their mate Laurie to lose the cub she was carrying.
“Banishing was too good for her,” Jackson continued.
Jace nodded again, too angry to comment. He looked at Shelly and his heart broke at the tears that filled their little omega wolf’s eyes. He touched her cheek gently with the tip of his index finger.
“Max and Eli would have been able to tell you if you were pregnant, Shelly,” he told her calmly. “They would have also been able to tell you if you were fertile. A man knows when his mate is fertile or carrying.”
“That’s what they told me,” Shelly admitted.
“Did they tell you that you were carrying?” Jackson asked, worried.
“No, they told me I wasn’t pregnant. They told me that they scented that I was fertile that morning,” Shelly said quietly.
“Shelly, I don’t know what happened that day between you and your mates to make you leave, but I need you to go to them and talk this through,” Jace told her. “I’m speaking to you as your brother and as your alpha. This needs to be cleared up. I tried to get them to talk to me every time they came to visit their parents over the years, but they avoided me. Do you know why?”
Shelly nodded.
“Why?” Jace demanded. “Why did they leave pack land? Why didn’t they go after you?”
“Because they saw me look right at them when I was in your truck,” Shelly explained. “They saw me look away from them and make the choice to leave them.”
“Why did you make that choice?” Jackson asked, his heart breaking for her.
“I thought I had lost their baby,” Shelly started to explain. “I also thought they had denied that I was their mate.”
“Why would you think that?” Jace asked, surprised by her words.
“I heard them tell Alpha Randall that they didn’t mate with anyone from your pack. I heard Max and Eli tell him that they didn’t get close to any woman here.”
“There has to be a reason why they said that, Shelly,” Jackson said without hesitation. “Did you ask them?”
“They told me that they were trying to protect me and their parents from Randall. They said they planned on coming to both of you to have you help them protect all of us.”
“When did they tell you that, Shelly?” Jace’s voice held clear warning.
“Yesterday.”
“They told you yesterday.”
Shelly nodded.
“Because you never gave them the chance to tell you before you left.”
Shelly nodded again.
“I should turn you over my knee right now,” Jace said, growling softly as he looked down at his little sister.
“I thought they didn’t want me, Jace.”
“I understand that’s what you thought, but as a mated woman, you need to question your mates and talk things through.”
“I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind to think about talking to them,” Shelly protested. “I thought I’d lost their baby. I thought they didn’t want me.”
The muscle in Jace’s jaw ticked with tension as he listened to Shelly’s words and felt her pain. So much time had been wasted because of a misunderstanding—a misunderstanding that could have easily been cleared up if Shelly had just spoken to Max and Eli. So much pain and loneliness had occurred because they hadn’t talked.
She was just twenty-one, Jace, Jackson’s calming voice entered his mind.
That may be, Jackson, but her misunderstanding caused ten years of pain for all of them.
Jackson nodded and smiled sadly. We had a moment with Laurie that caused us to have pain when she left us to go to Mia, he reminded him. We were just lucky that Laurie came back and told us what had happened. We could have been separated from our mate, too. We need to cut Shelly a break. She’s probably beating herself up about this as it is.
“I’m so sorry,” Shelly whispered. Her heart hurt as she admitted to herself that she had been the reason for the life of misery that Max and Eli had led in their time back with Randall’s pack.
“What’re you going to do about this, Shelly?” Jace asked, sitting back on his haunches and crossing his arms over his massive chest.
That was a very good question. Shelly had no idea how to answer it.
Chapter 32
It had been two months since Eli and Max had explained what had happened. Shelly had found out that the cabins on the far side of the lake had been the homes of Eli’s and Max’s parents since the day she had left pack land. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to visit them. She was too ashamed of the hurt that she had caused her men.
Now, she sat alone in her home, watching the roaring fire that she had built with the supply of wood that Max and Eli always made sure to keep stocked for her. She was warm in the house, listening to the wind whipping up as the early winter storm built outside.
Although she now knew that her men had not rejected her, her own guilt kept her from going to them and asking for forgiveness. As the days passed, the opportunity to breach the gap between them slipped further and further away. Instead of trying to heal the wounds that they had all sustained by being apart, she had made things worse by asking them to leave her home.
They had honored her request and had moved into the barracks designated for the single men of the pack. In the last few weeks, she had seen them watching her from a distance. Their hearts were heavy. Their guilt was palpable. It was so very wrong for them to carry that blame with them.
Do something about it, daughter, Mother Fate’s voice spoke sternly. You have lost so much time to this unnecessary guilt.
“Mother, I don’t know how to tell them what I’m feeling,” Shelly said softly, covering her face and rubbing her eyes tiredly.
Go to them. Now. Tell them that you are sorry for the misunderstanding. Tell them that you love them. Tell them that you want to renew your triad mating. Tell them that they are all that you want and need.
“What if they tell me it’s too late?”
Child, they will not tell you that. They have carried you within their hearts since the moment they met you. Check your dress.
“What dress?”
The dress that Martha made for you when you were presented as an adult to the pack family.
Shelly stood and quickly ran up the stairs to the master bedroom. She went to the closet and pulled open the door, seeing the beautiful Renaissance dress still enclosed in the garment bag. She unzipped it carefully and pulled it from its protective cover, draping it on the bed and looking at it with a sad smile on her face.
“It’s still beautiful,” she whispered, touching the white bodice and tracing the red piping along the neckline.
Look at the sleeves, Shelly.
Shelly did as she was told, smiling at the red satin material that Martha had painstakingly woven in an intricate design above the red material of the forearms. That’s when she noticed that one of the sleeves had an area that was missing the red satin material. She touched it gently and felt the love and the pain that her men had felt when they had removed the material.
“I don’t understand,” Shelly whispered. “Why would Max and Eli take a piece of my dress?”
Go to them, child. Apologize. Tell them what is in your heart. Love them and help them heal. They need you. So do your babies.
&nbs
p; “Babies?”
Yes, Shelly. Your babies. Allison, Matthew, and Luke are waiting to meet you.
“They are?”
Yes, daughter. So are the other two children that you will create together with love.
Shelly’s heart beat faster at Mother Fate’s words. She knew it was up to her to make this right. She had to go to Max and Eli and tell them how sorry she was for not believing in their triad. She had to tell them how much she loved them and wanted their mating to continue. She wanted to share her life and her home with them. She wanted to have those five children with them. Five!
She stumbled on the stairs as she ran down them, stopping suddenly to gather herself before she took a header onto the floor. She sighed softly then continued down the stairs slowly, grabbed for her boots and coat, and tugged everything on. Opening the front door, she stepped out onto the enclosed porch and looked around at the snow that was already covering the ground in great drifts. Stepping outside, she started walking quickly. She found herself running from the home where she had shared so many wonderful memories with her sweet wolves. She was determined that there would be many more.
The coldness of the air made it difficult to breathe. After a few minutes, she slowed to a brisk walk. As quickly as she could, she made her way to the alpha lodge, laughing softly as she saw all the cubs outside playing in the snow with the men of the pack who were in their wolf forms. She saw Max, Eli, Simon, and Warren standing guard off to the side of the happy participants. The four men were in their human forms, and their vigilance was obvious. They were going to ensure the safety of all of them—especially the cubs.
She could sense the moment Max and Eli noticed her. She felt the spike in their heart rates. She also felt the sadness and the longing within them. She knew that she alone was responsible for those feelings. She was going to do her best to remedy that before the night was over.
She quickly entered the alpha home through the sliding glass door at the back deck that led into the kitchen. The kitchen was filled with the women of the pack. Shrugging off her heavy coat, she stepped out of her boots and walked over to the table where Synthia was already seated.
“Hi, Syn. How are you?” she asked her sister quietly, reaching out and taking her hand to squeeze it lightly.
Synthia shrugged and squeezed Shelly’s hand in response. “I’m confused,” she admitted softly.
“About what?”
“About Simon and Warren,” Shelly whispered.
“Are you questioning that they belong to you?” Shelly asked her.
“No. I’m questioning if I’m good enough for them,” Synthia admitted.
Shelly laughed softly. “Of course you are. You’re the best. You always were.”
Synthia looked at her and reached out to tug on her sister’s long hair. “You’re biased,” she said quietly.
“No. It’s the truth,” Shelly insisted. “You were the one who always looked out for me. You took care of me. You listened to me when I was confused or in pain. You took the beatings in my place when Vera went crazy on me.”
Synthia nodded, remembering the many times she had felt the buckle of the belt that Vera used to punish the both of them for ridiculous infractions that didn’t really occur. She wished she could confront Vera and tell her everything that was in her heart. She needed to release the anger that she still carried deep within her.
“I have to tell you something, Syn,” Shelly whispered, breaking into her sister’s thoughts. “Max and Eli are my mates.”
Synthia looked at Shelly and smiled. “I know, honey.”
“You do?”
Synthia nodded. “I’ve known since you came to me when you were twenty-one,” she admitted. “You were so upset. I joined my mind with yours to help you with your pain. I put a veil in place to help you until you were able to deal with your memories.”
“You did?”
Synthia nodded. “I thought I was doing the right thing. You were in so much pain.”
Shelly was quiet for a minute, trying to work through this new bit of information. She wasn’t sure if she was upset by it or not.
“I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t remember everything,” Shelly said after a moment.
“I placed the veil there to help you temporarily,” Synthia explained. “I made it strong enough to shield you from the pain until you were able to deal with your memories. I created it so that it would fade away as you grew stronger and were able to face what happened without falling apart.”
“Over the years, I’ve been remembering more and more,” Shelly admitted. “I remembered the good times I spent with my men. I remembered their gentleness and their caring.”
“When I merged my mind with yours, I saw your mates and heard what you heard. Did they really deny you?”
“No. They were trying to protect me and their parents from Alpha Randall.”
Synthia reached out and embraced her sister, hugging her gently as she sighed against her temple. “I’m so glad, Shelly. You deserve to be happy with them. You are going to be with them, aren’t you?”
“If they’ll have me,” Shelly said quietly. “I’m going to talk to them as soon as they come inside.”
“Take them to your home,” Synthia advised.
“That’s what I’m going to suggest. I think we need to talk and straighten everything out.”
“I think I need to do the same with Warren and Simon.”
The sudden burst of laughter from the women in the kitchen halted the sisters’ conversation. Shelly turned and saw the joy that Meeka’s sister Kaley was experiencing as she watched through the glass door and saw Nathaniel getting pelted by snow. Shelly couldn’t help but laugh as Kaley called to the young boy who had thrown the snow, encouraging him to throw snow at Brett. It was obvious to Shelly that Kaley was besotted with the two men who were fated to be hers.
Looking around the kitchen, Shelly saw that the women there were all gazing at their mates through the glass windows and doors. The feeling of excitement and hope was spread out over all of them. The young woman named Cammy who had come to the Circle Three Ranch with Meeka and Kaley had blossomed into a healthy woman who had finally spread her wings and had become more confident and happy because of the two men who had shown her such kindness and caring. Garrett Michaels and Ryker Anthony were those men. They had also come to Beckett’s pack from Randall’s pack. Even though Shelly saw that Cammy was still hesitant and shy to take the steps needed to let the men know that she was interested, Shelly could feel the way Cammy was drawn to her future mates.
As Shelly listened to the happy banter from the cubs and the teasing that the women shared, she realized that this pack truly was a family. The feelings of love and caring emanated from all of them. There wasn’t one of them who felt any ill will or jealousy. Every one of them hoped for the happiness of the other. Looking at Jace and Jackson’s mate Laurie, Shelly knew that a lot of it had to do with the caring and guidance of their new queen. Laurie had been a teacher. She had also been an abused wife. In meeting Jace and Jackson, she had found her destiny.
“I think the men are ready to come inside,” Nikki spoke up, seeing the way the wolves were herding the children toward the back deck.
“I think they’ll be craving something warm when they come in,” Martha said as she walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a gallon of milk. “I think the cubs would love some hot chocolate.”
“So will the men,” Laurie added, smiling as she walked toward the cabinet and opened it to reach for the giant container of hot chocolate mix. “Martha, do we have any marshmallows? Jace and Jackson love them.”
Meeka laughed softly as she helped the women set out mugs and dishes. “Eric loves the mini marshmallows,” she said quietly. “So do Reece and Wade.”
“Hunter and Clay do, too,” Abbey added.
“Adrian and Colin will fight them for their share,” Julia said, laughing softly as she patted her baby son’s back as he rested against her che
st.
“Oh, come on. Everyone loves them,” Nikki told them as she walked over to the cabinet and pulled out the two packages of mini deliciousness.
Before any of the women could comment, the sliding glass door to the deck was opened and the children that had been playing outside rushed inside. The wolves behind them nudged them inside with their snouts despite their protests and giggles. Gathering the kids together, there was a flurry of movement with the removal of coats and boots and hats and gloves, until every child was brought into the kitchen and seated at the table. Their little faces were smiling and displayed rosy cheeks.
Shelly smiled as Laurie spoke to the children and each triad sought each other out to talk, hug, and kiss. There wasn’t a moment of the day that Shelly didn’t sense the happiness and love within this pack family.
She saw the way Ryker, Garrett, Simon, Warren, Max, and Eli stood just a little apart from the rest of them. She felt their loneliness and their hope that was constantly beneath the surface of their thoughts. Their wolves growled softly as they watched each of their women. Shelly knew that those six men ached to have their wishes come true. They deserved the happiness and the love that completing their triad mating would afford them. They were good men who deserved a life of love.
Watching Cammy as she teased Ryker and Garrett, she couldn’t help but laugh softly as the shy woman shocked the two enforcers by the way she stepped right up to them and accused them of bullying each other. When she kissed them, then stepped away, Shelly was truly impressed. If Cammy could be so forward, maybe she could, as well.
“You have courage, Cammy,” Synthia whispered to her as she sat down beside her. She looked at Simon and Warren briefly before averting her gaze. “I wish I was as brave as you are.”
“Me, too,” Shelly added, stealing a quick glance at Eli and Max.
Cammy turned to face the two women and smiled sadly. “I’m not brave at all,” she said quietly. “Just hopeful.”
Shelly looked at her men and nodded, loving the surprised look on their faces as they saw her paying attention to them. Standing slowly, she made her way over to them, reached out and took their left hands in hers to look down at the red material that served as their wristbands.
Shelly's Forbidden Mates [Beckett's Wolf Pack, Triad Mates 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage and More) Page 31