But caring about other people was part of being human, and Darien didn't want to lose sight of his humanity. He'd tried to separate himself from those feelings, but they lingered.
He wanted them to be nothing more than tools, wanted to pretend he could shape their lives as though they were pawns on a chessboard, but that went against his own philosophy. Everyone was supposed to be equal. Even an emperor could not hold himself so far above others that he thought of them as nothing but pawns.
Yet Darien was doing that. Why couldn't the world be as simple as he'd once thought? Why did he have to do such horrible things to achieve his goals?
The greater good. One of those phrases tyrants used to justify their atrocities. Darien wanted to believe that this greater good, this dream of his, outweighed everything he had to do to achieve it.
He'd visited Crayden after the destruction. He'd seen the charred bodies, the devastated buildings. Why did the future demand such things of him?
Why did he have to do it all alone?
Everyone around him was but a pawn in his games. None of them were his equals. He could recognize the flaws in his thinking, but he didn't do anything about it. He never had.
Alone. He'd known this path would be hard when he'd chosen it, but he hadn't expected it to be this hard. At times, he wondered if he should give up, if he should let this new world destroy itself like the old one had. But that would be a greater sin than any he'd committed.
He was surprised to feel a tear trickling down his cheek.
I'm a monster, he thought. And monsters deserve to be alone.
But no one deserved the fate that had befallen Nadia's friend Kara. She had gone to the Shadowed Land, a place of perpetual mist and shadows that no one could escape. Or at least no one ever had. Yet when Darien thought of that place, there was some note of familiarity. He knew he'd never been there, but he could almost visualize it in his mind.
Just your imagination, he told himself. It wasn't hard for him to imagine such a place.
How long could Kara survive among the monsters of the Shadowed Land? He had no idea, for when he followed her life in the Webs, he hit dark strands. Did that mean that she would succumb to the place, or was her future hidden from him for some reason?
No point worrying about that. He would control what he could control, and as of now, everything remained on track.
Part II
The Inferno's Legacy
Chapter 32
Over the next few hours, Nadia struggled to compose herself. She was tired, but now was the best time to set out. She, Markus, and Rik gathered weapons from Theo's cache. Theo didn't have many other supplies to spare: only a little food and some traveling cloaks.
Nadia couldn't decide how she felt about Markus and Rik accompanying her. Logically, it made sense. They knew things about survival she didn't. Not to mention, she'd go insane with no company, thinking only of Kara's fate.
She almost wished Kara had died. Then there'd be some certainty at least.
Nadia walked out the door with Rik at her side. It was a sultry afternoon, hinting at storms. A light breeze rustled the leaves and carried the scent of flowers, but none of it could stop the ache in her gut. Nothing had happened as she'd planned.
Her father and Avia dead. Varek and Len dead. Kara missing. Ander and Aric going their own way. She couldn't have thought of a more disheartening way to begin her quest.
Rik put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all."
"Don't worry. Markus will be ready in a few minutes."
* * * * *
Markus sat across from his uncle in a wooden chair that groaned beneath him, realizing he'd never said goodbye before. In truth, he hadn't thought Uncle Theo deserved a proper farewell. The man had ruined his life. Only now did Markus realize his uncle had faced an impossible choice.
And Uncle Theo's actions in Crayden—well, those changed Markus's view of the man. For so long, he'd seen his uncle as a villain, a man looking out for himself, but Uncle Theo had proven heroism beyond what Markus could have ever expected.
Beyond what Markus had shown himself.
"I'm going to miss you," Uncle Theo said. He leaned forward, as if to touch Markus, but then he pulled back. "I have no idea what this quest will bring for you, but maybe we haven't seen the last of each other."
"I hope that's the case. I've come to appreciate and understand you now."
"About time. Nothing gets through that thick head of yours."
Markus had to laugh. Uncle Theo was only joking, and Markus had to admit he could be a bit dim at times. Often, he just didn't think. When he tried, he could hold his own with Rik, but he didn't try all that often.
"Don't worry about me," he said. "Nadia and Rik will keep me in line. Or maybe Nadia will keep both of us in line. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders."
"That she does. You could learn a few things from her."
Markus smiled. "Like how to be insane. I mean, that's what this whole quest is."
"Not as insane as you might think. To be completely honest, I've always suspected there was something special about you. Ever since Warrick let me retire to take care of you. I might not have done the job he wanted, so I'm not sure what that means."
Would Uncle Theo finally reveal the secrets he'd hidden from Markus? Would Markus learn how his parents had died?
"What are you saying?" he asked.
"Well, Warrick seemed so set on you becoming an Imperial Guard, and I've learned to pay attention when Warrick decides he really wants something. He has the power to read possible futures, and in some future, he must have seen an advantage to you being an Imperial Guard. This is all conjecture, but I've thought it through for quite a while."
"That's all the more reason for what I'm doing," Markus said.
"Yes, it is. And after what you heard on the mountain, that Warrick wants you and Rik alive for some reason, I believe even more that he's up to something."
Markus felt sick. What if Warrick was orchestrating everything to support the future he wanted?
"Maybe I'll find out sometime," Markus said. Tense silence fell, and he gazed into his uncle's brown eyes. "Anything else you'd like to tell me?"
Uncle Theo looked away, scratching at his thick brown beard. "There are things I'd like to tell you, but I'm afraid of what you'd think of me if I did. I'm sorry, Markus. Maybe someday, but not now."
Markus rose from the wooden chair, then stared at his uncle awkwardly. "Well, goodbye then."
"Goodbye, Markus." Uncle Theo followed Markus to the door, and pulled him into a tight hug. Had his uncle ever hugged him?
"I'll be fine." Markus pulled out of the hug, wishing he could believe his own words.
"I know."
For a few long moments, they stared at one another, and then Markus stepped out into the muggy air. Rik and Nadia waited a few paces away, watching him with frowns.
"You ready to go?" Rik asked, touching Markus's shoulder. Markus felt on the verge of tears, so he nodded silently. Then he looked back at the cabin, knowing he was leaving forever this time. That realization felt heavy upon his chest.
Only Rik seemed eager to leave, bouncing with excitement as he led Markus and Nadia away from the cabin. Markus wished he could feel the same way.
As they left the clearing around the cabin, the voices of the party waiting to depart for Mountainside faded into the distance. Those who'd decided for easier journeys had already left, Tylen among them.
The farther they grew from the cabin, the more Markus felt like talking. The pain of leaving faded into the background for now.
"I still can't believe we're actually doing this," he said.
Rik smiled. "Neither can I. It's the greatest adventure of all time."
Nadia turned to both of them. "You do realize this won't be fun? It will be hard and dangerous, and it will probably get us all killed. You can still change your minds. I've had years to think
about this. You've had days."
"I know we can't feel the same way you do," Markus said, "but that doesn't mean we don't understand the risks." He hesitated. "Well, at least I understand them. Remember. I have no future in the Empire, so this is the best thing I can do: get rid of Warrick.
"I just want to be part of something great," Rik said.
Nadia looked away, shaking her head. Markus didn't know how to act toward her. She'd lost more than anyone, and he feared saying or doing the wrong thing.
When they arrived at the bridge leading to Crayden, Markus felt weak and nauseous. The fires had burned out, and the smoke had gone, but the rubble remained, scattered about cobblestones stained a dark gray.
After they crossed the bridge, Nadia gripped Markus's shoulder.
"What is it?" he asked.
"This is so horrible. All those people dead. All this destruction. This looks nothing like the city I remember."
"I know what you mean," Markus said, fighting back tears. Tomas was among the dead.
"Let's go around the city," Nadia said.
"You don't even want to see what you can save?" Markus asked.
"The fire burned everything. There's no point."
With heavy spirits, they trudged around the city's outskirts, staying close to the mountains around the city. Markus shuddered, thinking of all the people dead there. A few days ago, he wouldn't have thought of ghosts, but now the city seemed like it could be haunted.
He turned to Nadia. "Do you know what happens to normal ghosts? I mean, when people die, do you think they go on in some way?"
"I don't know everything, Markus."
The smell of smoke lingered in the air. The atmosphere around the ruined city felt heavy, as if it contained the weight of those released souls. Was there a God out there? If so, why had He let this happen?
Markus had to stop thinking of things like that. Too much thinking made his head swim.
Eventually, they reached the city's western side, looking south toward some of the manors that stood mostly intact. A tear trickled down Nadia's cheek. Markus thought to wipe it away, but didn't.
"We need to remember this," he said. "This is what Warrick does."
Nadia left the tear alone. "Yes. Whenever we think it's too difficult, whenever we think the world doesn't need us, we should look back on this moment. The world needs to be rid of the monster who did this."
Rik nodded. "Well said."
* * * * *
Berig felt out of place among the party leaving for Mountainside and avoided eye contact. All their talk had only convinced him he didn't deserve to share in their goals.
Maybe he could go somewhere else, start a new life there. But what if Imperial Guards were waiting for him like they'd been in Crayden? Was Mountainside his only hope?
He stared up at the canopy above the small clearing as a light wind rustled the leaves. Woodland scents hung in the air, and animals called out in the distance. This was a relaxing place, a place of freedom, but he couldn't stay here forever.
Nothing good ever lasted.
"Are you all right, Berig?"
He looked up to see Danica, a woman about his age who'd joined their party. She had light blond hair and a certain spirit that allowed her to remain happy despite losing family and friends in the city.
Berig didn't meet her gaze. "Just thinking."
"You're considering not coming with us." She settled down on the dirt beside him, brushing aside a few leaves. "I can see it in your eyes, Berig. It's okay if you aren't sure, but I think you should come. Warrick killed your parents. Now he almost killed you. Can you ignore that?"
Berig turned a twig over in his hands. "Look. I've never been the type for revenge. I don't know why he killed my parents. I just accepted it and moved on. Sometimes you gotta just accept things. But I don't know. Maybe I've been doing it wrong."
"I can understand that. We've spent too long accepting things as they are. I mean, I wasn't even part of the Order before this happened. I don't know how to handle a sword, or any kind of weapon really. But I'm willing to learn, willing to become a stronger person. Berig, I know you have that same spark in you. You can make a difference."
Berig let out a low chuckle, leaning back against a giant tree. Its rough bark felt solid, unlike anything in his life. "You know, I don't think anyone's ever told me that before. I've always been told I'm gonna amount to nothing. You start to believe it after a while."
"Well, you'll just have to change that belief."
But Berig didn't know how he could do that. The events of the last few days had done nothing to change his expectations. Yet there was that nagging feeling. Twice, he'd been among the few survivors of a tragedy, and that didn't even include his other narrow escapes.
Some might have said he had luck on his side. He couldn't call it that. If luck had been on his side, he'd have scraped out a better life. Maybe it was fate.
No. He couldn't bring himself to believe in things like that.
Danica had returned to the rest of the group, spreading her brighter spirits among them. She had a way of doing that without seeming too happy. There truly was something special about her, a reason he wanted to remain by her side. He made his decision, joining the group.
If he was going to accompany them to Mountainside, he'd better get to know them.
A small group had decided to make this journey, led by Aric and Ander. Captain Davis of the Crayden city guard, still wearing his yellow surcoat, was a secondary leader. For some reason, he hadn't taken on a greater role, and he seemed more distant and upset than the others.
Also among the group were Graig, a former merchant with a neatly-groomed beard, and his wife Talia, both approaching middle-age. The last person in the group, Farah, sat apart from the others. She'd been reluctant to share her story. Her clothes, conspicuously clean, revealed that she was a wealthy young woman.
So there were eight people in the group, out of more than forty who'd escaped Crayden. Not that Berig blamed anyone for taking the easy way out. He wasn't even sure what he could do for the Order.
Maybe he wanted to run toward something for once. All his life, he'd been running from things. Running from his burning village, from guards in Bradenton, from his debt to Amar. Running after killing the man in that alley. Always running.
Danica was right. He needed to find a new path, a path that could make him proud.
But this wasn't the first time he'd tried to change. As always, he'd return to his old ways, disappointing so many people, most of all himself.
"Let's get moving," Ander said loudly, capturing everyone's attention. "We should reach the edge of the Black Swamp by nightfall. We'll spend one last night here in the forest, then begin our journey through the swamp tomorrow morning."
"We don't have much food," Aric said, "but Ander and I are capable hunters. There's a lot of game to be found here in the forest, and hopefully in the swamp as well."
"I can also hunt," Talia said, which didn't surprise Berig. She had a bow strapped to her back, along with two knives and a sword. She was more the fighter than her husband, and she'd actually convinced him to join the Order.
Ander surveyed the group. "Is everyone ready?"
They murmured their assent, and Berig nodded. With a small dagger Theo had given him, he followed the rest of the group to the east, marching through sweltering heat.
The party traveled for hours, afternoon fading to evening around them. At the back of the group, Berig remained silent. Danica hadn't dropped back to talk to him. Instead, she spent her time with Aric at the head of the group.
They caught some rabbits for dinner that night. With the quickness and sneakiness of a thief, Berig captured three, and he felt useful for once. The others offered him glowing compliments, except for Farah, who remained silent, standing apart from everyone else.
"You know, Berig," Graig said as they cooked their dinner, "it's okay to feel like you're part of the group. You're not the only outsider among
us. The past is the past. Let it go."
They stood around their roaring fire, which Ander had lit with his magical staff. As evening turned to night, the air cooled a little, though it remained muggy. Thunder had rumbled all evening, but no storms had followed
"I don't know," Berig said. "I just feel weird being part of this."
Graig checked the cooking meat. "No one cares what you've done. We're all starting fresh here. Crayden is gone."
"But I didn't come from Crayden," Berig said. "I've never been part of something like the Order. I've always done things for myself. Never cared about anything bigger."
"People can change. You need to give yourself a chance."
"Yeah, maybe."
Berig walked a few steps away and took a seat as far from everyone else as possible. Aric and Ander had gone off to forage for berries and other edible plants, while Captain Davis and Talia stood watch. Danica joined Graig, watching the cooking meat.
Farah had disappeared, probably somewhere in the forest. Berig had no idea why she'd want to go wandering in the darkness. Who knew what monsters might be lurking unseen?
By the time dinner was ready, she'd returned. She remained aloof, though, more aloof in fact than Berig, as she ate her meal off to the side, behind a large tree. At least Berig forced himself to join the others, sitting with Graig, Talia, and Danica in the middle of the clearing.
He tore off some meat with his teeth and chewed with relish. To him, eating anything felt like a delicacy—even when the meat was tough and stringy.
Graig swallowed a mouthful, then turned to Berig. "You still haven't told us your whole story. How'd you really end up here?"
No point holding anything back. These people deserved to know him better than they did, so he told his story.
Once he finished, Danica said, "That's a rough life, Berig, and you have to realize that Warrick's the reason for all your problems."
"I don't know about that. Some of my problems are my own doing."
"We could all say the same," Graig replied. "You're no different than anyone else."
Empire of Chains (World in Chains Book 1) Page 26