“Thanks, Mom.” She found a spot on the tree to hang it. It was tradition for her to come over and help her parents decorate their tree. It wasn’t that Beth didn’t enjoy decorating for Christmas. Since it was just her in her little apartment, she simply chose not to put up a tree. She hung pictures, added a centerpiece to the island, and her place always smelled like apples and cinnamon. Putting up a tree seemed like a lot of work, especially when she spent a good deal of her time either here or at Avalon’s house during this time of the year anyway.
Dad held an ornament depicting two angels kissing. “I remember when I gave this to your mother the first Christmas we were married.” His hand shook a little and then he turned to accept a kiss from his wife.
“It was the sweetest thing.” Mom reached out and touched the ornament with her finger.
Beth smiled and turned to find another ornament to hang. Her parents certainly had their disagreements over the years, but their love for each other always prevailed. Beth grew up hoping to find someone like that to share her life with. What if Tyler could be that someone? Her thoughts surprised her, and she stopped in the middle of hanging an ornament.
He said he cared about her, but what did that mean? What if she let herself fall for him and then he never felt the same way?
What if she spent the rest of her life alone?
Mom carefully placed the pieces of a glass nativity set on the mantle above the fireplace. “We were wondering if you’d like to spend the night Christmas Eve. With Marian and her family here, it might be fun. Or I’m sure you could stay with Avalon and Gwen over there.”
Who was Beth kidding? She’d never be alone in her life, not with all her family around her, and that gave her a measure of peace. The thought of waking up at one house or the other and getting to see nieces and nephews discover the contents of their stockings sounded like fun. “Sure, Mom. I’d like that. Why don’t I stay with Avalon? It’ll give you guys a little more room here.”
They’d need it. With Marian’s large family, she and Jason and the baby would probably sleep in one room, and then they’d split the other three kids up one way or another. Beth would be sleeping on the couch in either home, and thought that it might be easier over at Avalon’s.
Mom seemed happy with that. “Wonderful. Don’t forget to mention it to your sister.”
Dad patted Beth on the arm and they continued to decorate the tree.
At one point, they took a break for Dad to rest. Beth followed her mom into the kitchen to get all of them something to drink.
Beth got the glasses out while Mom found the eggnog in the fridge. “Are you going to invite Tyler and his family over for Christmas?”
One of the glasses slipped from Beth’s hand and she managed to catch it before it hit the counter. She set it down quickly. “Aren’t we having it over at the Chandler house? I’m not about to invite more guests over there. That’s not my place.” Lexi’s mom, Patty, had offered to host last Beth heard.
Mom took a drink of her eggnog and then filled the cup again before putting the carton back in the fridge. “Patty and I were talking. We decided that, with Marian and Jason coming with all the kids, it might be easier to do it here.” She lowered her voice. “I thought it might be less stressful for your dad, too.”
Beth nodded. “I can see that.” It probably would be easier on Dad to be here in his own house. He wouldn’t admit it, though.
“Since it’ll be here, you should invite Tyler. Meg would fit right in with the passel of kids we’ll have. Your dad and Bill seemed to get along well at his birthday party.”
Beth couldn’t deny the truth in that, either. But after the weirdness this last week, how was she supposed to call Tyler up and ask him over to spend Christmas with her? She must have hesitated long enough to earn Mom’s patented, “Okay, what’re you hiding?” look. Beth had hoped to avoid this conversation.
“I’m not sure what’s going to happen between me and Tyler, Mom.” She’d love to leave it there, but there was no way that she’d get away with it. She took a sip of eggnog and told Mom about the scene at the gift shop. “I know my reaction was exaggerated, but it is what it is. I went to Meg’s birthday party earlier this evening, and they were all nice to me.” Beth’s voice caught. “I dug myself into a hole, and I’m not real sure how to get back out of it again.”
Mom pulled her into a tight hug. “Bethie, you need to tell him what happened. Explain why you reacted the way you did.”
Beth winced, and her stomach lurched. “And if he feels sorry for me? Or even worse, thinks I’m crazy?”
“Then he isn’t worth your time.” Mom slipped an arm around Beth’s shoulders. “Your daddy and I are praying for you. Any man worth his salt will not define you by what happened to you in the past, he’ll love you for who you are.” She handed Beth her glass of eggnog. “Come on, let’s go finish putting that tree up, hmmm?”
“Yeah.” Beth followed her into the living room. She went through the motions, but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Mom’s words kept echoing in her head. He’ll love you for who you are.
If only that were true. If only she could know what the future held, then maybe she wouldn’t keep pushing him away. It was obvious Tyler liked her. Cared about her even. But loved her? She wasn’t sure about that. Seriously, here she was an emotional mess. It was clear Tyler knew something had happened to her, yet she wasn’t telling him. If positions were reverse, she’d sure wonder what he was hiding. Beth frowned.
What was Tyler doing right now? Meg was probably playing with the new toys she got at her birthday party. Picturing the little girl brought a smile to Beth’s face. Mom was right, Meg would love spending Christmas here with all of Beth’s nieces and nephews.
What am I supposed to do, God? I don’t want to get hurt again. You’re going to have to give me an opening and the words to tell Tyler about what happened, because I don’t think I have the strength to do it on my own.
Chapter Fourteen
Tyler sat next to Meg and listened as she explained the difference between the three My Little Ponies she’d received from Beth the day before. She had each of them memorized down to the shade of pink in their hair.
Beth did well choosing gifts. Meg read through Beth’s book three or four times that he knew of. He’d read it, too. Not only was the story engaging and sweet, but it taught a valuable lesson. The illustrator Beth hired had only added to the tale. He had no doubt her book would do well once it was released.
“You know what, Daddy? I think I’m going to ask Santa for Rainbow Dash. That pony is pretty with all the different colors. I wonder if it’s too late to send a letter to Santa and add it to my wish list.”
Considering Christmas Eve was two weeks from today, probably so. “You can send him a letter, but don’t be surprised if you don’t get it. It is pretty late in the game.”
Meg finished her chicken nugget and nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
They were eating lunch in one of the local fast food places. Dad had awakened with a cough and didn’t feel well. Tyler thought he’d take Meg out for lunch after church, that way Dad could get a nap while the house was quiet. Tyler insisted Meg eat all her nuggets and fries before going to play on the indoor playground.
His daughter paused, her fry halfway between the ketchup in front of her and her mouth. “Laura’s here!”
“Laura?” He twisted and caught sight of Avalon and her daughter. He chuckled. “Lorelei, baby.” He waved, and Avalon headed their way, her daughter on one hip and a tray of food in the opposite hand.
“Hi, guys!” Avalon smiled, set the tray down on the next table over, then turned her attention to Meg. “Happy late birthday. I heard you had a fun party.”
Meg crammed the fry in her mouth, chewed at light speed, and swallowed. “I did! It was so much fun. And did Beth tell you she came to my party and brought me some My Little Ponies and one of her books? If I’d known you’d be here, I’d have bringed them to sh
ow you. I’ll bet Laura would like it.” She paused, her brows pinched together. “Laura-lie.”
“I wish we could see them. Maybe we’ll get to one day.”
Her comment surprised Tyler a little but Avalon didn’t seem to think anything of it as she placed Lorelei in a high chair and handed her a chicken nugget. Once her daughter was all set up, Avalon collapsed onto the bench and released a sigh. “Duke had to go into the ranch and work this afternoon. Since it’s chilly today, it seemed like a good idea to come here.” She looked around at the busy dining area. “Obviously my idea was less than original.”
“This is a popular place,” he agreed. He pointed toward Meg’s food. “Don’t forget to eat.”
Meg had been watching Lorelei. “It’s okay, Daddy. I want to wait until Laura-lie is done eating so we can go play together.”
Avalon’s phone rang. By the bits of conversation Tyler heard, he assumed it was probably Duke on the other end of the call. She hung up right before the girls were done with their lunches. Avalon cleaned Lorelei up, set her down, and chuckled as the girls ran together to the play area. “Meg’s great with her.”
Tyler watched as Meg helped Lorelei climb the little slide and then waited for the toddler to slide back down again. “She talked about your daughter for days after Thanksgiving. We had a great time with your whole family.”
“We’re glad you could join us.” She took a bite of her salad thoughtfully. “I’m also happy to hear that my sister made it to Meg’s birthday party.” She gave him a knowing look.
“Me, too.” He didn’t know Avalon well enough to talk about Beth. He wondered, though, if Beth had said anything about what was going on. He cleared his throat. “Meg’s gotten real attached to her.” She wasn’t the only one, but he wasn’t going to admit that to someone he barely knew.
Avalon seemed to be gauging whether she should say something or not. “Do me a favor and don’t give up on Beth, okay?”
Tyler’s brows lifted. He hadn’t expected her to say anything quite that obvious. “She doesn’t make it easy when she keeps dodging me and won’t return my calls.”
Avalon wrinkled her nose a little. “She’s got a lot of self-confidence issues. Her ex was a real messed up guy. Look, it’s not my place to give you details. That’s up to Beth. But he was abusive, and she has a real reason for hesitating when it comes to another relationship. You’re good for her, we all saw it at Thanksgiving.”
He hadn’t thought Avalon could surprise him more until now. He suddenly wanted to know exactly what her family said. What made them think he was good for her when Beth herself clearly did not? Doubts assailed him like they had all week. He’d been wondering whether he should call Lexi and cancel his promise to volunteer at the hospital on Saturday. Or at least see if she could swap him to a different station so that he wasn’t pushing his luck with Beth. If she was trying to avoid him, he certainly didn’t want to keep pressing the issue.
If Beth was going to walk away, maybe it was best to cut ties before things got too involved.
It was too late, though. No matter what happened with Beth, she held a piece of his heart in her hands.
Tyler barely noticed when Avalon got up and went to help Lorelei with something. He stared out the window as cars went through the drive-through line. His heart hammered in his chest, and he straightened his spine with the realization that he was in love with Beth. A messy, no holds barred, real love that he’d never experienced before.
How was it possible to feel both peace and a sense of urgency at the same time? All right, God. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do next.
One thing was certain: Beth didn’t trust him. At least not enough to tell him about her ex and share why she was pulling away. Maybe that’s what he needed to focus on. He needed to gain her trust and prove that he’d be there for her no matter what.
Avalon was right. He had to do everything he could to show Beth he wasn’t giving up on her.
~
“What’s up, big brother?” Beth entered Davenport Cabinetry and closed the door behind her. It was her day off, and Lance had sent her a text asking her to swing by when she was free. She’d spent the morning helping the hospital committee decorate the building for Christmas followed by a lunch provided for all the volunteers. This was the last stop before she got home and collapsed from exhaustion.
“Hey, there you are. Everything go okay this morning? Lexi was worried since they usually decorate the hospital before now.” Lance set his tools down and stood.
Beth knew Lexi had wanted to be there today. Her job as a nurse for one of the local pediatricians didn’t allow for it, though. “Oh yeah, the lobby looks great. We should be good to go for this weekend.”
Lance shuffled through some papers on the desk until he found what he was looking for. “Lexi gave this to me. It’s instructions for Operation: Joy on Saturday.” He paused. “For Tyler.”
She took the paper from him and stared at it. “Okay. Why didn’t she leave it at the hospital for him to get when he arrived?” Beth wasn’t even sure he was still going to show up to help her deliver cookies. Did she want him to? Yes. Should she want him to? That question brought up another whole mess of emotions she didn’t want to examine right now.
At least her brother had the good sense to look contrite. He knew as well as Beth did that this was an excuse to try and get her to talk to Tyler. Between this and the hints Avalon was throwing around in a not-so-subtle way, Beth had gotten the picture. Her family liked Tyler. Well, she did too. If only things didn’t have to be so complicated. “I’ll make sure he gets it, thanks.” She folded it into quarters and slipped it into her back pocket. “Any news on the adoption front?”
“Actually, yeah.” Lance pulled his cell phone out, a big grin on his face. “I’m trying to not get attached, but it’s hard. The birth mom, Kate, hadn’t wanted to know whether the baby was a boy or a girl. She’s measuring a little small and had an ultrasound to make sure everything’s fine and invited us to be there. The baby’s perfectly healthy.”
He showed her an ultrasound that was clearly the baby’s profile. Beth could make out the little nose and even the lips. “Oh my goodness. Talk about adorable!” She touched the little face with a finger and then handed the phone back to him.
“After taking a few measurements, Kate asked us if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. We jumped at the chance.” He paused for dramatic effect. “It’s a boy.”
Tears sprang to Beth’s eyes before he’d even finished his sentence. She threw her arms around Lance’s neck. “You’re going to have a son.”
He nodded. “Lex and I are trying hard to keep some emotional distance in case the same thing happens this time. But when I saw this ultrasound picture,” he held the phone up for emphasis, “I felt peace, and I knew that was our child.”
“I’m happy for you both.” She swiped a tear away and smiled as she took a step back. “You two deserve this. Did you tell everyone yet?”
“The little guy’s not due until the first week in January. We’re going to tell everyone about him at Christmas. Since both of our families will be together, we thought it’d be fun.”
“I have no idea how you’re keeping this a secret, but I think that’ll be the best Christmas present of all.” Beth quickly held up two fingers. “And no one will hear a thing from me. Scout’s honor. If you need anything, let me know, okay?”
“Will do.” He picked up a pencil and his level. “I’d better get back to this. Will you do me one favor?”
“What’s that?”
“Go talk to your mechanic.”
Beth rolled her eyes. “Avalon put you up to that, didn’t she?”
“Maybe. But I think it’ll be a mistake if you let fear guide you. You deserve better than that.” His serious expression shifted, and he nodded toward the door. “Go on and get out of my hair. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Alright. Love you!”
“Love you, too.”
Beth drove home, her heart lighter than it had been in a long time. She couldn’t wait to see the faces of their family members when Lance and Lexi told everyone the good news.
She walked up to her front door and noticed a bouquet of flowers sitting on the ground nearby. It was an arrangement of cheerful white daisies and gorgeous blue forget-me-nots. Beth picked them up, unlocked the door, and carried them inside. The subtle fragrance of the flowers tickled her nose. She breathed deeply and withdrew the small card.
“Beth,
These flowers made me think of your bright smile, blue eyes, and beautiful spirit. I miss seeing you.
Fondly,
Tyler”
Beth read the card twice more. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to her. She ran a thumb over the hand-written note. She missed him, too. Way more than she’d even admitted to herself.
Beth remembered the note in her pocket. After changing into a shirt without holiday paint and glitter on it, she got in her car and headed over to Martin Mechanics.
There was no one in the office when she arrived. Rather than ring the bell, she opted to walk around the side to the garage itself since it didn’t seem busy. A sound from the other side of an old Ford pickup caught her attention. Unsure whether it was Bill or Tyler, she picked her way across the garage. Right before she reached the truck, Tyler stepped into view, his eyes widening. “I’m sorry if I didn’t hear the bell.” He jabbed a thumb toward the office.
“I just came in, I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” He wiped his palms against the legs of his jeans adding to the streaks of oil already there. He wore a long-sleeved, button-up shirt with the Martin Mechanic’s logo on it with the sleeves rolled all the way up to his biceps.
Beth’s throat suddenly went dry. No man should look this good in work clothes and oil. He was watching her, waiting for her to tell him why she’d come by. There was curiosity, a little humor, and something else in his eyes. She cleared her throat. “I got the flowers you sent. They’re beautiful, thank you.”
Finding Grace Page 12