by Michelle Lee
He heard voices from the other room and knew at once Jax had called in reinforcements. He closed his eyes just wanting it all to go away. He was devastated at what had taken place. They both had snapped, and Ronnie feared it was his fault Jax had snapped like that. He absently rubbed at the bruise settling on his cheek and couldn’t believe Jax had hit him.
That was the one line he had never crossed. He had fought with Aedan and Smitty before, but never Ronnie. It wasn’t even something Ronnie has ever considered a possibility before. He threw his arm over his eyes and started to wonder if they could come back from this. Ronnie knew it wasn’t Jax that hit him, he wasn’t even present in his eyes when that took place. He had looked possessed.
The guilt he felt over everything told him he deserved it for the secrets he was keeping from Jax, but in his heart he knew it wasn’t deserved. Jax was just beyond obsessed with whatever was going on in his mind, he wasn’t even sure it was about Winnie anymore. He knew she was still a part of it by the way Jax reacted when anyone said her name, but he didn’t believe she was the driving force like she once was.
Ronnie’s phone on his nightstand made some weird noise and Ronnie glanced over at it. He didn’t see any notifications, but he winced at the blood all over it. He held his hands up and looked at the back of them. Split knuckles, dried blood caked under his nails, pooling in the nail beds, running down the back of his hands. He cursed himself for losing control like that.
He cursed himself for taking that bottle of whisky down too. Fuck, he was glad Jax had knocked it out of his hands, what was he thinking? Was he really going to take a drink? He shuddered at how close he came, and his eyes welled up at the thought of breaking his silent promise to not do that again.
“I wonder what you would think of me right now Winnie,” he thought aloud, disgusted with himself and fully immersed in self-loathing. “Pity party of one, now serving Ronnie,” he said to the empty room.
He saw his phone screen light up out of the corner of his eye and he looked over again expecting an alert for a message, but there wasn’t anything. He stared at it a moment and felt his jaw drop open as it started playing a song. He froze on the bed as some female voice was singing about being haunted.
He slowly sat up and moved closer to the phone but didn’t reach for it. He had a wild fleeting hope that Winnie was trying to communicate with him, but just as quickly dismissed it. Why would she have waited this long? Right as that thought crossed his mind, he smelled it. He smelled her. The scent of fresh rain filled his room.
He shot to his feet and frantically scanned every inch of his room looking for her. “Winnie?” He whispered; his voice thick with hope. “Oh God, please don’t let this be a joke,” he begged out loud.
His phone started replaying the song and he grabbed his iPad and listened to the lyrics and typed in a line on Google. Haunting by Halsey came up. He read through the lyrics and then dropped his iPad, the corner bouncing off his bed and falling to the floor. He stared at his phone as the song played.
The scent of fresh rain washed over him again, teasing his senses. His heartbeat was thundering in his ears and he was afraid to move, afraid he’d lose her again. The song started to replay, and he bent over and grabbed his iPad again to reread the lyrics. He felt like his heart was about to burst between the warring joy held at her being here and the sadness in the message of the song and missed opportunities.
He felt something run over the back of his hands and he lifted them, holding them out, staring, hoping. He felt it again, she was touching his hands, icy cold velvety tingles ran over his split knuckles. “Winnie...” he groaned, his voice cracking as he felt a wave of love wash over him. His knees buckled and he started to drop but was shoved backwards and he fell to the bed.
He rolled on to his side and let the tears fall. After a few minutes the song stopped playing and he sat up fast, worried she was gone, and not knowing. He heard a tap on his window and swiveled around to face it, pulling the curtains to the side and squinting at the light of the setting sun blinding him for a moment. When his eyes adjusted Ronnie saw an outline of a hand pressed to the window. His heart stopped as he leaned forward to place his hand over it, and at contact he sucked air greedily back in his lungs, his heart racing because he knew she was here with.
“Baby, can you hear me? If you can hear me, I’m going to fog up the window, write me a message,” Ronnie said quietly. He leaned forward again and used his breath to fog up the window as much as he could and watched.
I am here
“Good job Winnie. I’m so happy right now I want to shout it out loud!” He fogged the window again for her.
can’t tell Jax he is not ready
but I found her
“Who, Winnie? Who did you find?” He fogged the window again and waited.
the one who can help fix him
“Fix who? Jax? Give me more.” He fogged up a large portion of the window feeling lightheaded he sat back down.
choose Airiella for job
meet me at a river tomorrow with ovilus, alone, I’ll find you
“Can I tell any of the guys? What river, what time, are you leaving now?” Ronnie fired off questions as fast as possible. “Do you know I love you?” He fogged up the window again.
any river, at five, no tell others, I love you even in death, remember choose Airiella, hands hurt, why - face bruised, why, who
“You don’t sound ready to leave yet, babe. I hurt my hands. Jax hurt my face. Things are complicated right now. Jax is not okay, and as you can see me, I’m clearly not ok.” He fogged up the windows again.
bring ovilus and something I can pull energy from I’m low now, need to go, love you miss you
“God, Winnie, I miss you so much. Thank you for this, I’ll meet you at the river I threw you in on Halloween. Tomorrow at five. Go rest.” He laid back on the bed, his heart lighter than it felt in years and a smile on his face. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, unaware that she was watching him.
Aedan pulled up in Jax’s driveway and saw Ronnie’s car still there, so all wasn’t lost. He looked over at Mags, his wife, and asked her again, “Are you sure you want to be here?”
She nodded, “I might be able to help with something, you never know. Plus, I can check on Ronnie.” She swallowed her fear. “I can’t believe Jax hit him.”
“Yeah, this isn’t good,” Aedan muttered. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you, baby.”
“Love you too, Aed. Are we waiting for Smitty, or should we just go in?” Mags asked.
“Let’s wait, be a unified front at least, or maybe that there is safety in numbers,” Aedan said, looking around the yard. “We don’t really know what we are dealing with as far as Jax is concerned. He’s kept everything inside locked up tight, the only time we see something is when he isn’t really him.”
“Yet you continue to be around him,” Mags said accusingly. “He almost hit Smitty last time. What’s going to happen if he hits you? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“He’s my brother Mags. We will figure it out. I can’t walk away from him. And come on, we’ve fought before, I can hold my own,” Aedan rationalized.
“That’s beside the point,” Mags said, feeling frustrated. She sighed and looked over at Aedan again. “I know you can’t walk away, and it’s one of the many reasons I love you. I’m just scared.”
“I know. We are working on it. The producers of the show want to hire someone to be a kind of mediator or something when he gets out of control. Though the memo they sent us didn’t specify Jax, we all know that’s who they meant. They worded it so that if on an investigation it looks like something is affecting any one of us, this person would come in and diffuse the situation. That’s what the meeting was about today. Ronnie, once again, pulled Jax back from whatever edge he’s balancing on and finally got him to agree. Jax said for us to request an empath. So, once things calmed down, we made a list of attributes we think could help
any possible situation we run into, and sent it back to the producers. It’s just a hurry up and wait game now,” Aedan told her as he kept scanning for Smitty.
“I guess it’s a start,” Mags hemmed, “but you are still adding an unknown person into a volatile situation. Empath? Isn’t that what Jax is? How is an empath going to help?”
“Yeah, Jax is an empath, but he isn’t as strong as he wants people to think he is. I read an article a while ago where an empath was used by authorities to help in a hostage situation. It was one of the paranormal journals, but I can’t remember which one. The reporter interviewed her, and she said she had the ability to pull the emotions from someone and take them on herself, which allowed the negotiator to then diffuse the situation. So that was one of the requests we made. An empath that has that ability,” Aedan explained.
“I can see where that would be a handy skill to have. Jax actually agreed to this?” Mags asked, surprised.
“It was his idea,” Aedan said. He saw Smitty’s car coming down the street. “He’s here,” Aedan said as he turned to get out of the car.
“How will you know if this person has these abilities or not? People lie all the time,” Mags asked as she got out of the car.
“Well, we are going to test them,” Aedan replied. He looked over at his wife who was studying the clear sky. “Are you looking for something?” Aedan asked looking up, when suddenly he understood why she was looking it.
“It smells like rain,” they both said at the same time. Aedan felt a shiver run down his spine as he tried to shake off the feeling.
“You guys haven’t been in yet?” Aedan heard Smitty call out to them as he came up the driveway.
“No, man, we were waiting for you. United front and all that shit. Not sure what we are walking into,” Aedan called back.
“Hey Mags, looking good,” Smitty said as he walked up and gave her a hug. “Let’s do this.”
Aedan led them both into the house without knocking, and they could feel the tension in the air. Mags shifted uncomfortably behind him. Absently he reached back for her hand and squeezed. He slowly started towards the kitchen when they all saw a trail of blood leading down the hallway. “Shit,” Aedan muttered quietly.
“Wonder which one of them that belongs to,” Smitty said, his voice soft.
They followed the trail leading back to the kitchen and they all froze in their tracks. Bloody handprints smeared the walls, leading back, there were shards of broken glass, and the stench of whisky. “Fuck, I hope neither one of them is drinking,” Aedan replied looking back at Smitty.
They paused before walking around the wall into the kitchen and saw Jax. Sitting on the floor amidst shattered glass of what looked like a whisky bottle, blood splattered everywhere. Mags stepped around Aedan and called out quietly, “Jax?” While Aedan tried to pull her back behind him.
“She’s fine dude, he’s not going to hurt Mags,” Smitty said. “He doesn’t look like he could hurt anyone right now.”
“Bro, we’re here, man, you okay?” Aedan asked, not using a gentle tone. Based off the cracked plasterboard behind him, the time was way past gentle. This was ugly.
Jax looked up and Mags gasped, rushing over to him. His face was streaked with blood, his eyes puffy and bloodshot, anguish rolling off him. “I fucking hit him,” Jax rasped out.
Aedan couldn’t move, he stood there staring at the scene in front of him while Mags grabbed a broom and tried to sweep the glass up. Smitty walked across the room and took it from her, while Aedan stared. “Mags go check on Ronnie,” Smitty suggested.
She looked back at Aedan, and he nodded at her, watching her as she followed the trail of blood down the hall. They both heard her mutter, “Shit,” as she must have found something else.
“Get up Jax,” Aedan demanded, his voice hard. “Get up now.”
Aedan didn’t make a move towards him and he watched Jax’s still bleeding hands fall to the broken glass and try to lift himself off the ground. Smitty gave Aedan a dirty look and went over to help Jax up. Aedan grabbed a chair and pulled it out, “Sit down there,” he directed.
“Dude, look at this mess, take it a little easy on him,” Smitty whispered to Aedan.
“No, this mess is made by him. I’m not sure why, but if this was the work of Ronnie, it would be worse,” Aedan declared. “You’ve seen Ronnie fight.”
“It was me,” Jax said sadly. “I followed him into the kitchen in time to see him try to take the top off the whisky bottle and I just reacted badly. I didn’t try to talk to him, I was yelling, and I smacked it out of his hand and threw the bottle against the wall. See the wall,” Jax said pointing to where it looked like it caved in, “that was Ronnie. He shoved me. But something came over me, I don’t know man, I just couldn’t leave it alone. I was yelling at him, and then I sucker punched him. Right in the face.”
Aedan squatted down in front of Jax and took his hands and held them palm up as he looked them over. “And these? It’s from breaking the bottle?”
Jax nodded, his face coloring in shame. “I didn’t even really feel it, but it wasn’t Ronnie that did this. It was me. I found him lying on the floor in the garage, blood on his shirt, his hands, on the floor, on the bag. Something in me triggered at the scent of the blood and seeing him like that. I fucking flipped out.”
Aedan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. This was bad. Ronnie and Jax never fought. Aedan stood up and grabbed a dish towel and ran it under the faucet to get it wet. He went back over and squeezed the water over Jax’s hands to try and see where the cuts were. “Come over to the sink,” he told Jax.
It was like Aedan was watching a puppet, Jax just did what he was told. Aedan shook his head again. This was very bad. He looked back to Smitty, “You got the clean up?” Smitty nodded to him, not saying anything out loud, but carefully watching Jax every time he glanced up. “Mags will help when she’s done checking on Ronnie,” Aedan said softly to Smitty. He just nodded again.
Aedan turned the faucet on, letting the water get warmer and then pulled one of Jax’s hands to get it under the stream. He felt Jax flinch, but it was hard to care after seeing the devastation in here. As he rinsed the blood off, he saw several pieces of glass still embedded in his palm. He pulled the other hand under the water too and told Jax to leave them there.
He walked out of the kitchen following the blood down the hall and saw another hole in the wall, blood here too. This hole he knew was Ronnie. He shook his head and walked by Ronnie’s room where the door was closed and entered Jax’s room to get some tweezers and the first aid kit he kept there. He shook his head again wondering if he should take Jax to the hospital. He figured he would get him cleaned up first and then see. Aedan wasn’t sure having Jax around too many people right now would be a good thing.
As he walked back into the kitchen, he noticed that Jax hadn’t moved a muscle. He reached over and turned the water off and held one of his hands up to try and see better. “Hey Smitty, can you grab a flashlight and hold it over Jax’s hands so I can pick the glass out?” Aedan asked over his shoulder.
“Sure thing,” Smitty said, grabbing the emergency flashlight from on top of the fridge.
He held it over Jax’s hand while Aedan gingerly picked pieces of broken glass from Jax’s palm, wincing every time Jax flinched. A couple of the wounds were still bleeding heavily, and Aedan thought he might need stitches, and he also wasn’t sure he got all the glass out. He repeated the process with the other hand and then wrapped them tightly in gauze to staunch the bleeding.
“We’ll need to look at these in a few hours, I think a few of these need stitches, and I’m not sure I got all the glass out,” Aedan explained to Jax.
Jax woodenly nodded and just stood there, like he was waiting for direction. “I’ll do whatever you think is best.”
Aedan sighed again, “Just go sit down somewhere while I help Smitty finishing cleaning this mess up.” Aedan handed him the first aid kit and pushed him out of the
kitchen. This day had gone from bad to worse. He tried to shrug it off and got to work cleaning up.
Aedan paused while pulling the bag out of the garbage can as he felt an icy sensation down his back, wrapping around his chest, like someone was squeezing him from behind. He looked around and felt a tingling sensation at the same time as he smelled rain again. Unnerved he grabbed the garbage bag and stepped away, when he noticed Smitty paused too.
Smitty’s eyes were scanning the room around him, but the rest of him wasn’t moving. “You okay Smitty?” Aedan asked him.
“Um, yeah. Do you smell rain?” he asked Aedan, confusion coloring his voice. “And did it get cold in here?”
Aedan gaped at him, “Uh…do you think…” Aedan paused, “never mind, it couldn’t be.” He shrugged.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Smitty whispered quietly, hoping Jax couldn’t hear them.
“I don’t know dude, I don’t know,” Aedan replied as he walked out.
Winnie was very concerned. Jax wasn’t really Jax, Ronnie felt broken, and she could feel the tension radiating from Mags, Aedan and Smitty. The group was falling apart. She stayed in Ronnie’s room while Mags checked on him, not because she didn’t trust him to not say anything, but she wanted to make sure he was okay.
She wished that had had more time together while she was alive. She felt they both believed it could have been something special, but it just wasn’t meant to be. She knew that, felt it down deep within. Knowing it didn’t make it any easier though. And he was a hot mess now.
She smiled, thinking about that. He was hot. All those guys were, but Ronnie, he had always made her melt. Even when she believed her and Jax would last through anything and their bond was the tightest, it was always Ronnie she had the strongest attraction to. Over six feet tall, and broad, his body was thick and solid, but very strong. His hair was a rich milk chocolate color, longer on the top than it was underneath, but he rarely styled it, he just let it do whatever it was going to do. Ronnie’s eyes always got her, they were the greenest emeralds, it made her think of the wild jungles they showed on Discovery Channel shows. But when his moods changed, his eyes did to, from an iridescent hazel color to a light lime. He had nice full lips and a wide smile, with a very classic roman nose. Put all together he was incredible. Like one of those impossibly perfect underwear models.