“You mean one with wings open, one with the wings closed, and maybe one or two more at different spots in between?” Zac looks for confirmation.
“Exactly,” I tell him. “I like this one they have here,” I say pointing to the picture. The design seems simple to repeat, but it’s still pretty. “I also like that theirs is all black, but could I have a hint of blue in the wings of the butterflies?”
“Absolutely. It’s going to look just as beautiful as you, I promise,” he says. “I’m going to get set up. I’m thinking it will probably take about an hour or so,” he winks again. “Give me a couple minutes.”
“Thank you!”
“You look as excited as Joey and Jake did when you gave them the balloons today.” Rocco comes up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his chin on my shoulder.
“What’s not to be excited about?” I say leaning into him. “I’m about to do something I’ve always wanted to do and I have the best boyfriend in the universe here with me.”
“Yes you do,” he says pulling me tighter.
“Let her go, Rocco. I need her over here,” Zac calls from across the room.
“I have some pretty shitty friends,” he mumbles so low only I can hear him as he leads me over to Zac’s station. Once everything is set up and I’m comfortable, Zac goes to start on my foot. “Oh shit! I can’t let you do this,” Rocco almost shouts making both me and Zac look up at him. “I haven’t even met your dad yet. If I send his perfect daughter home altered with a tattoo that I took her to get, he’s going to hate me.”
My tension subsides the moment I understand why he was starting to freak out. I nod to Zac to get started and Rocco stiffens next to me. “Rocco, I’m already forever altered because of you and it definitely has nothing to do with this tattoo.” He visibly relaxes. Our eyes are locked and he draws my lips to his once again.
“Matthews, I’m ready to kick your ass out of here,” Zac warns him making me giggle.
Rocco takes a step back holding his hands up. “I’ll behave. I promise.” He winks at me. “Alright Sunshine. What’s the story with the butterflies? Don’t even try to tell me there isn’t one, either.”
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. “My aunt loved butterflies, so she had this garden full of plants that attracted them. We used to sit out there watching them for hours. She taught me the names of each type of butterfly that would come through the garden. Once I knew all of those, she bought books and we learned about others we never saw. One day while we were playing outside, a crazy storm moved in real fast. The wind picked up out of nowhere.” I pause remembering the day like it was yesterday. “There was this Monarch my aunt had pointed out a few minutes earlier. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it get caught up in the wind. I didn’t even know that could happen. It seemed so helpless and I stood there frozen watching it. My aunt was telling me to get inside, but my feet were planted to the ground. When the rain started, she came over to pick me up. I lost sight of it before we got into the house and I started to cry. She asked what the tears were for. It was hard for me to explain to her how I felt like that butterfly. I felt like I was lost in the wind with nothing or no one willing to hold me down. For a long time, I felt that way, especially after she died.” I wince for the first time since Zac had started my tattoo. It is really hard not to look at what he is doing, but fear of not letting him finish if I saw the needle set in. Plus I want to be surprised when it is all done. It must look like I am going to turn my head to glance over because Rocco put his hand on my chin to keep me from turning. That or he is trying to distract me.
“When did you stop feeling that way?” The frown on his face made me a little sad, but I knew my honest answer would wipe it away.
“This morning,” I speak so softly he may not even hear me.
Rocco holds both sides of my face in his hands and tilts his head into mine, carefully so I don’t move my leg. “I won’t ever let you feel lost again. I promise,” he’s whispering now, then kisses me on the head.
Neither one of us moves for a while. It’s baffling to me how I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. When we were together, I could have sworn I was so in love with Jeff. No one would have been able to convince me that what we had was anything other than love. After all, we had known each other for over a decade. There wasn’t anyone who knew us better than we knew each other. Now, I feel absolutely nothing for him. I don’t even hate him anymore. The guy before him doesn’t count. There was never any love there. I couldn’t even tell you what that was. Maybe I just was fascinated with the idea that someone showed an interest in me.
Now, there’s Rocco. I’ve only known him such a short amount of time. It cannot be love, so what the hell could it be? It’s not possible to love someone you just met, is it? The excitement pours through me when I’m going to see him. My breath catches when he looks at me certain ways. There are even times he can be kissing me or just saying the sweetest things like he just did, where my heart actually skips a beat. Seriously, I can feel it. Every time it happens, I’m begging for it to start beating again because the possibility that I could die right then and miss out on another minute with him is too much to bear. The way he acts like there is even a small chance he might feel the same way about me makes me light-headed. So, I ask again, what the hell is this?
Eventually, Rocco pulls away from me, but he didn’t go far. He slides a stool over to sit next to me and holds my hand the rest of the time. He starts a conversation with Zac about what they’ve been up to recently and how their families are doing. I keep trying to hide how nervous I am that Zac might mess up because he is really having a good time laughing with Rocco. Eventually, a few other people start showing up for work and setting up their stations before their clients come in. They are all very nice and all but one of them know Rocco. Every time he introduces me as his girlfriend I think my heart grows a little more, just as his smile does. When we finally walk out of Zac’s, the guys promise to get together soon.
There is plenty of time before my class tonight, so when we finally get back to campus I’m thankful for the break. My foot started hurting a little while ago and I’m wondering why I was crazy enough to pick such a sensitive spot to be tattooed. Now that I’m looking at it again while Rocco is rubbing ointment on it, I cannot ignore how I absolutely love it.
“I’m so glad you are this happy about your tattoo,” he says.
“Me too. Thank you, again. Today was one of the best days ever!” I tell him.
“Yes it was,” he answers.
Just as he’s getting ready to cover it up, Leah walks through the door with Tyler and Julia trailing behind her. “Where have you two been all day?” she asks. Then she almost freaks out when she sees the gauze sitting on the couch next to me and my foot on Rocco’s leg. “What the hell happened to your foot?” She rushes over and glances down to my foot. Her smile mirrors mine. “You finally did it!” Leah blurts out.
“Finally did what?” both Tyler and Julia ask at the same time.
“Oh my goodness, Lyss! I love it!” Julia practically screams. “How bad does it hurt?”
“It actually hurts pretty badly right now,” I admit. “I don’t think I’m going to my class tonight. Just the thought of putting on my sock makes it hurt even more.”
“If you want to go, I’ll drive you over and pick you up when it’s over,” Rocco says. He looks like he feels bad.
“Don’t you dare,” I demand.
“Don’t I dare, what?” he asks me.
“Don’t you dare feel bad.”
“I do feel a little bad.” He looks down at my foot biting his bottom lip. “But it does look really awesome.” He’s holding my foot from underneath. “I have to admit, I was a little worried when you said butterflies, but it suits you perfectly. Very sexy,” he adds running his hand up the back of my leg.
“Oh please,” Julia says.
“No, it kind of is, Jules,” Tyler says looking over Rocco’s shou
lder. “Right, Leah?”
“Totally,” Leah agrees.
“I wasn’t talking about that. I was referring to Rocco totally eye fucking her right here in front of us.” Rocco and Tyler burst out laughing. However, I’m not sure if it’s because of what Julia said or my reaction to it.
“Don’t be jealous, Julia. You just miss getting that look from Tommy. Maybe you should have held out a little longer,” Leah says plopping down next to me smirking.
“Okay, that’s it,” I say getting up. “I’m going to class after all.” That just sends them all into another fit of laughter.
I leave the room shaking my head. Rocco comes in after me still chuckling. “Let me finish covering that up for you.” We relax on my bed for him to apply the gauze. His hands lingering on my skin ignite something inside of me that I’m not ready for yet. “Sunshine, we need to get out of here.” Knowing he feels the spark as well makes me think this will be happening entirely too soon.
Rocco grabs my backpack and we head out to the living room. “See you guys later,” I say to my roommates.
“Lyss, we are grabbing Chinese for dinner. Want your usual?” Julia asks.
“Sure, thanks. Don’t wait for me to get back. I’ll just reheat mine,” I say pulling money out of my pocket and sticking it under the magnet on the refrigerator.
“Rocco, you want anything?” Leah offers.
“I’m going to grab something with the guys. Thanks, though,” he tells her opening the door for me.
“Just so you know, your girlfriend is ours tonight. We have a ton of shows to catch up on. We’ve gotten far behind since you two started this dating shit,” Julia says giving him one of her serious looks. They aren’t nearly as powerful as Leah’s, so he just laughs her off.
“I’ll think about it,” he says. We leave and start walking to the parking lot.
“I can walk to class, Rocco. You don’t have to take me.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to. Besides, I’m not going to let you limp all the way across campus.” He raises his eyebrows daring me to push the subject further.
“You are too good to me.”
“Sunshine, you haven’t seen anything yet.” He gives me the smirk that sends shivers through my body.
He leaves me right outside of the building reminding me he’ll be back to pick me up by the time my class is over. This almost three hour class always drags, but tonight it seems exceptionally long. By the time class is over, my foot is throbbing from being inside of my shoe and I’ve grown quite grumpy. That is until I walk out of the door and see my boyfriend leaning up against the wall across the hall waiting for me. I cross the hallway and fall into his open arms.
“Hey, Beautiful. Let’s get you home.” It feels so good right where I am. We start to leave when someone calls Rocco.
“Yo, Matthews! Hold up a sec.”
Rocco turns around searching for the voice. It belongs to one of the guys I recognize from the class I was just in. “What’s up, Ryan?” he answers irritated pulling me closer to his side.
“Haven’t seen you around the Village lately. What’s going on?”
“I’ve been busy. Do you need something?”
“So the rumor is true.” He looks me up and down then back to Rocco. “Rocco Matthews actually has a girlfriend.” The cocky look on his face bothers me. These two are clearly not friendly. “Nice to know.”
“Leave her alone, Ryan.” Rocco is clearly warning him away. What the hell is going on between these guys?
Ryan starts laughing. “Keep her close, Rocco. See you around, Beautiful,” he says to me before turning to walk down the hallway in the opposite direction.
“What the hell was that about?” I ask Rocco as soon as Ryan is out of sight. He leads me down the hall and out of the building where his car is waiting in the commuter parking lot. When he opens the door for me, I don’t get in. “Are you going to answer me?”
“He’s a scumbag. Make sure you stay away from him. If he bothers you, I need to know about it right away. I don’t care where I am. You call me if I’m not with you. If you can’t get me for any reason, you call Shane.” He’s looking me straight in the eye. He hasn’t answered my question and I’m getting annoyed. “Alyssa, do you understand me?”
“Yes, I get it. Now answer my damn question.” I don’t mean to snap at him, but I don’t like being ignored either.
“Ryan thinks I’m the reason his girl dumped him. He thinks I slept with her.”
“Did you?”
He sighs before he answers. “No. She tried coming on to me one night at a party. I’ve never really liked Ryan, but I wouldn’t sleep with anyone’s girlfriend. I have some morals. She tried to follow me when I left and some of her friends told Ryan that I took her to my room. I have no idea where she went, but it wasn’t with me. I’ve never brought a girl back to my room other than you the entire time I’ve lived here on campus.”
I believe him and relax immediately. I put my hand on his cheek and kiss him quickly. “I promise I will keep an eye out and call you if he bothers me. Now please take me home. I have cold Chinese food and TV shows waiting for me.” He chuckles shutting me inside the car.
Chapter Fifteen
Rocco
Life had been going pretty well up until the last couple of days. I was supposed to spend the night with Alyssa Thursday night, but that didn’t work out. At the last minute, Leah’s mom had to go out of town for work. She needed Leah to come home and watch her younger brother since the normal babysitter wasn’t available until Saturday. Tyler already had plans he couldn’t change so he was unable to go with her. Alyssa, being the sweetheart that she is, went because she didn’t want Leah to be alone. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered me. I’m not the kind of guy who has to have his girlfriend around him all the time, nor would I get pissed if she had to change plans suddenly to help out a friend. The problem was that yesterday was my dad’s birthday. I was sort of hoping this year would finally be the year I wouldn’t dwell on it. No such luck. Maybe if I had told Alyssa she would have stayed with me, but I didn’t want her to feel like she had to pick between me and her best friend. I could get through this like I had every other year.
The worst part about all of this is I can remember that day like it was yesterday. Dad and I were just coming off the lake.
“Dad, wasn’t that the biggest fish you ever saw?” I asked him excitedly as I watched him pull our boat out of the water.
“Sure was,” he told me proudly grinning ear to ear. Looking back on it, the fish really wasn’t that big, but Dad would have never told me otherwise. “We’ll have to show Mom the picture.”
“I bet she never saw a fish that big in her life!” I babbled still smiling. “What kind of fish was it again?”
“It was a pike,” he said for about the tenth time. He was never impatient with me. We didn’t get to see each other very often with his work schedule being so crazy, but on his days off, he always spent time with me.
“Oh, right. A pike. Can we come back here again? Maybe next time you’ll catch one. It sucks that you didn’t catch anything,” I chatted away.
He chuckled at me. “Sure, we can come back the next time I have off and the weather is nice like this. Buddy, I wouldn’t care if you caught every fish in the lake and I didn’t catch any,” he said handing my tackle box and fishing rod to me from the boat. I took them from him as he rumpled my hair. “Just make sure you don’t say sucks in front of your mom, okay? I’ll get in trouble.”
“Okay, Dad. Where are we going now? Can we go out to lunch?” I asked.
“Good idea. Where do you want to go?” he asked.
“Look who we have here,” a disturbing voice said. I turned in the direction it came from and saw a man holding a gun facing us. I remember thinking he wasn’t a police officer like my dad. Everyone was screaming around us and people were running away. The rest happened so quickly. My dad never even had a chance to say anything to him. “I lost my
daughter because of you, so I’m going to take your son,” he yelled. Dad grabbed me and pulled me behind him and the boat blocking my view of the man. Then I heard the loud bang that still haunts me to this day. My dad slumped over our boat. He clutched his chest as he slid to the ground.
“DAD!” I screamed as I saw the color red everywhere. “Dad, are you okay?” I panicked. I fell on top of him. “Dad? Dad?” It felt like forever before he answered.
“I love you, Rocco,” was the last thing he said. Someone ripped me away as strangers surrounded him. I never saw my dad again. I squeezed my eyes closed pushing the horrible memory away.
The guys tried to help out. Thursday night we went to our usual bar in Madison. We forgot that it was usually busy with college students from both our school as well as the other university a few miles down the road because of the football game. They should have forced me to go home at halftime. Right before the third quarter started, Ryan, Carrie, and a few of their friends came in sitting at the table directly behind us.
It didn’t take long for Carrie to spot me and come over to our table starting her bullshit. “Hey, Handsome. Already done with that pathetic, little girl of yours?” She just walked in the door, yet she already reeked of booze. Even as drunk as I was, I could smell it on her.
When I went to turn around to tell her to fuck off, Carrie plopped herself in my lap and draped her arm around my neck. I immediately stood up and she stumbled to the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I screamed backing up away from her.
Ryan came over and got right in my face. “Who the fuck do you think you are, you piece of shit?” He shoved me back toward the table. Good thing for him, Shane was there to catch my arm before I punched him. By that time, Ryan’s friends were already grabbing at him, trying to drag him in the direction of the front door. Just before they made it to the waiting area of the restaurant side of the place, he shouted, “I cannot wait to get Alyssa in bed and screw her like the tramp she is.” This time Logan, Troy, and a couple other people I didn’t know had to help Shane hold me back.
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