There is no way in hell I will be going back to campus right now. I’m sure she will tell everyone what happened. My car seems to have a mind of its own because it takes me to my house. If my mom sees me like this, she will drill me with questions for hours. I park my car in my garage and stumble up the steps to my apartment. Coming here is definitely a mistake. I made sure the cleaning staff knew to stay away from my apartment before leaving here abruptly last Sunday. Once I’m through the door, reminders of the night Alyssa spent here with me are all over the place. The spot in front of the fireplace where I had her calling out my name. The note she left for me on the pad of paper that is stuck on the refrigerator. The bottle of water I knocked over on the counter when she started running her hands up and down my thighs. Then I go into my bedroom and that is my undoing. Her flowers are wilting in the vase next to my bed. I had forgotten to grab them for her. The candles are still where I placed them. My sheets, where I spent the best night of my entire fucking night, are disheveled, half hanging off the bed. The t-shirt I put on Alyssa before we finally went to sleep only to rip off of her the next morning is on my floor. I pick it up and crawl into the bed I thought I’d never have to sleep alone in again. Holding it close to me, I actually start crying for the first time since my dad died. The smell of her is all around me. On the shirt. On my pillows. Even the blankets. I remember what happened in the shower. As pathetic as it sounds, I am no longer just crying. I am sobbing uncontrollably. I have a privileged life anyone would kill for. I own a plot of land that is over seven acres just waiting for me to build on. I have a trust fund large enough to not only support me and my children, but also their children without any of us working a day in our lives. None of it means anything. Without Alyssa, I don’t want any of it. Without my Sunshine, I am nothing.
Chapter Nineteen
Alyssa
The plain, dreary multipurpose room which is normally filled with old, dusty folding chairs and long tables has been transformed into a creepy, ominous mad scientist’s laboratory. The food will be set up on the table covered with colorful test tubes in racks, boiling beakers of all sizes, and a black cauldron. I really hope Leah didn’t borrow the supplies from the Science Department or no matter how good the food is I won’t be eating anything close to those things. She splurged for the vinyl floor-to-ceiling wall decorations turning the painted cinderblock into a gray stone wall three- quarters of the way around the room. For the last wall, she chose the one that looked like a demented doctor’s office with a bloodied steel operating table and jars along the countertop behind it filled with random disgusting things. Furry rats are placed randomly around the room. Spider webs, most of them fake, cover the entire ceiling and most flat surfaces around the room including the DJ’s table. The bar is decorated all in black with bottles covered in Halloween themed labels. Round tables and cleaner chairs are set up that we borrowed from another room. We covered the tables in black covers and the centerpiece is a smaller black cauldron with an LED candle inside. Leah was pissed she wasn’t allowed to use real candles. Plastic nasty insects are crawling all around the tabletops. Welcoming people at the door is a banner that reads: KEEP OUT! All that is missing is the fog machine. Well, not anymore. Tyler is bringing it through the door.
“Where’s this going, Leah?” he asks.
“Over by the DJ. This way no one trips on it while they are dancing because everyone will be dancing,” she tells him.
That last part could have been directed at me. For the last week, I’ve been very conscience of making sure my foul mood isn’t obvious to Leah, Julia, and Erin. They had enough of me moping around with Jeff, so I’m trying to hide my sadness this time. The truth is, I’ve had enough of feeling down and angry myself. Tonight is Leah’s night and I will, even if it kills me, have a great time with my friends.
Leah and Erin are walking over to where Julia and I are finishing up the last table. I have no doubt she is really just coming over to inspect every table cover we put on. We even made sure to take the extra few minutes to fix every single bug, so they are on their feet and not their backs. I’m surprised Leah isn’t making us glue them down so people cannot move them.
“Yay! This place looks amazing!” Leah says cheerfully.
“It’s actually cool. Although I’m shocked you went with a mad scientist theme instead of a vampire theme,” Julia teases her.
“Don’t mess with vampires, Jules,” I tell her. Our roommates aren’t as into the vampire stuff like Leah and I are. They are totally missing out.
“The thing I’m confused about is why you picked a butterfly costume. How come you aren’t the crazy scientist and Alyssa your assistant?” Erin asks seriously.
“Simple, Silly. Mad scientists aren’t glittery and pretty. That is why I had our boyfriends be the scientists,” Leah explains laughing. “I think we are just about done here until the caterer and the DJ arrive. How about we head back to the apartment and start to get ready?”
We agree and start to pack up the boxes that Leah had the supplies and decorations stored in. It’s just the four of us and Tyler still here. Everyone else ditched us a long time ago. A few times I thought how if Rocco was still my boyfriend, he would have been here helping us. It would have been more fun, at least. Let it go, I keep telling myself. I grab some boxes and take them out to my car. Tyler comes out carrying the rest.
“How are you holding up, Lyss?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking, Tyler,” I answer with a fake smile.
“If coming here tonight is too much for you, you need to just say that,” he says. “Don’t let Leah guilt trip you into coming if you aren’t up to it.”
“I’m actually looking forward to getting out and having some fun with you guys tonight. I need it,” I admit.
“For what it’s worth, Troy said Rocco hasn’t been back to campus since yesterday when he went to find you. He probably won’t even be here tonight, so you don’t have to worry about running into him,” he tells me.
I nod my head, but hearing his name and that he hasn’t been back to school has me upset. Seeing him at the park yesterday was rough. When I left my apartment in the morning, my intention was to get a balloon and let the stupid thing go over the lake. It was supposed to work like the day I was there with him. I ended up leaving and returning to the park a few times unable to do it. On my last trip there, my mind started replaying the night we spent at his house. There was no way he didn’t love me after all that was said and done between the two of us. That night was not just about sex. It was about truly being in love with someone and making sure they knew it.
Then my thoughts shifted to the things Shane told me about Rocco’s ex. It made me understand he was truly trying to protect me. He just wasn’t really sure how to and wasn’t going about it the right way at all. Typical Rocco. I had changed my mind. I didn’t want to let him go. I was going to let him deal with it on his own for a while before demanding he knock his bullshit off and come back to me.
Hearing someone pull in the parking lot startled me. I quickly turned around to find out who it was and the damn balloon accidentally slipped through my fingers. Seeing it was Rocco who was there jump started my heart. I thought he was coming to get me because he realized he made a mistake. Turns out, that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I jumped off of the table waiting for him to come over to me, but he never did. He stood there looking at the sky. After a few minutes, he left. My entire body was paralyzed with disbelief over him letting me go. Did he ever love me at all?
“Hey, you okay?” Tyler asks looking worried.
“Um, yeah. I was just thinking about something.”
“Did anything happen when he found you yesterday?”
“No. Nothing at all. He didn’t even say a word to me,” I answer.
Right before he gets in my car he adds, “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks. I will.” Why can I not find a guy as sweet as my friends? The girls come out of t
he Student Center. Guess it’s time to get ready.
Back in the apartment, Erin and Julia have disappeared in their room to get their costumes on. Leah is going through her paperwork making sure she isn’t forgetting anything. Since I already straightened my hair this morning, I have a few extra minutes, so I plopped down on my bed before changing. I’m thinking of how Rocco was supposed to be my date to this party tonight. It would have been fun dancing with him and hanging out with his roommates. They still talk to me and come over to see us. As a matter of fact, they actually stopped over Tuesday night before they went out. Logan was trying to convince me to go out with them, but they forget I’m not twenty-one yet and I had class early the next morning. It was nice of them to offer, though.
“What are you doing?” Leah asks coming in our room.
“Just taking a break from all the work my slave driving BFF had me doing today.”
“You’re still coming tonight, right?” It’s written all over her face that she’s thinking I’m going to bail on her.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I reassure her. “Like I told Tyler when he asked, I’m looking forward to this actually.”
“I’m sorry you’re going alone,” she says sitting down on her bed watching me.
“I’m not. I’m going with my friends,” I remind her as I sit up. “Really, Leah. I’m good. Don’t worry, okay?”
“Alyssa, don’t you dare lie to me. You can pull that shit with anyone else, but not me. You fell fast and hard for Rocco. I know what it’s doing to you. My guess is you are suffering even more than with what Jeff did.”
My eyes are warning they will explode with tears at any given second. “Not now, Leah, okay?” I sigh. “I just want to have fun with my friends, dance, and get really, really drunk tonight. If you want to do anything for me, make sure that happens. Well, that and don’t let me go home with ANYONE other than you.”
“Consider it done!” she squeals leaping off of her bed. “Come on. Let me do your makeup, then I’ll do mine.”
“I can do it,” I tell her getting up.
She goes out to the kitchen and comes back with a cherry Cosmo for each of us. We spend some time putting on our makeup while drinking, chatting, and laughing. It feels good to sit with my best friend and relax. She thinks my makeup is a little light, so I just darken it up. No point in getting her in a tizzy over it. It’s a little too glittery for me, but it’s Halloween, right?
Leah announces it’s getting late and that we should get dressed. She sets out my blue butterfly costume, the silver shoes we found at the mall when we went shopping a couple weeks ago, and light shimmery stockings. I change quickly because I don’t want us to run late.
Before I open the door to let Leah know I’m done, I walk over to her mirror. My jaw almost hits the floor. There is no way I’m walking out of this room in this costume. How did I not see how slutty this is? It has a turquoise blue sequin corset with a sweetheart neckline which, thankfully, just covers my boobs, but dancing would be very tricky with no straps. The back is mostly open but laced. The tutu skirt is a light blue glittered tulle short enough that if I bend over, my ass would hang out if not for the shorts I had already put on. The wings are made from the same color tulle as the skirt, has sequins all over them, and are trimmed in a white, furry material. The headband is also the white, furry material with blue, glittered antennae sticking straight up and curling at the ends. It is really pretty, but so not me!
“Leah Walsh, get your ass in here, RIGHT NOW!” I yell from our room. I can hear Julia and Erin start to laugh. Good thing I had that drink or I’d be even more furious right now.
The three of them come rushing in the room. “It looks so pretty!” Leah shrieks right away.
“Yeah, it’s pretty, all right. I am not going in this,” I say shaking my head holding the headband in my hand at my side. “No friggin way.”
“Oh, stop it. You look hot!” Julia says. Their costumes look so much more appropriate for them. They each have on a short plaid skirt and a cropped, white tie top. Their hair is in low pig tails which are in big, loopy curls. The thigh highs and heeled Mary Jane’s add a nice touch to complete the look.
“You guys can pull this kind of stuff off. I cannot.”
“What are you talking about?” Erin says playing with her light red hair. “If Rocco does show up, he’s going to be one sorry son of a bitch,” she adds making me flinch.
“I highly doubt it, Erin. He saw me naked and ran for the hills the next day,” I reply.
“That is not what happened and you know it, Alyssa,” Leah snaps giving Erin a nasty look.
“Leah, go throw your costume on. We have to leave in five minutes if you want to make it there before the caterer. Alyssa, get over it. You are hotter than the three of us, so knock your shit off. I think you know it, too,” Julia snaps. “We totally should have gotten her the nun costume. Guys are going to be banging on this damn door for weeks after tonight,” she utters leaving my room.
Leah goes into the bathroom to change. When she comes out, I’m still standing in front of the mirror. “Remember how much you love me when some cute boy asks you to dance tonight,” she whispers putting her arm around my shoulders.
“No dancing with cute boys or ugly boys or any in between boys for me,” I clear up. “So not going there,” I say taking one more glance at the ridiculous costume I am wearing. “I cannot believe I’m going out in this. You will pay big time, Leah Walsh.”
“That’s the second time you used my last name in one day. I’m in big trouble, huh?” she asks.
“Yup,” is my response.
“The boys just pulled up outside,” Julia calls from the living room.
The four of us meet them outside. Tyler, Mark, and Tommy are all wearing scientist costumes. Well, they are wearing the white lab coats and white wigs Leah picked up for them. Underneath is probably just their normal clothes and I’m guessing they will accidently misplace their costumes shortly after getting to the party when a certain someone gets distracted. They start whistling and cat calling at us coming down the stairs. Boys. We pile in two cars and make our way to the Student Center.
Everything has gone off without a hitch. Thankfully for them, the caterer and the DJ were here on time and completely prepared. The doors opened about forty-five minutes ago and it’s already packed in here. Leah is beyond excited and practically floating around the room trying to talk to everyone. I took up residence at the table she reserved for us. It won’t be long until she finds me here, but I’m trying to stay off these heels for as long as I possibly can.
Just when I’m finishing my third drink for the night, a bunch of people drop down at the table I’m sitting at. “Hey, Philly Girl. How the hell have you been?” Logan says.
“Hey! You guys are late. You better hope Leah didn’t see you come in the door just now,” I tease him, Shane, Troy, and Paige.
“It was my fault,” Paige admits from the seat next to me. “Although if these bastards would have bothered with a costume, I may not have been the only one running late. Speaking of costumes, girlfriend, you are looking pretty friggin hot tonight. You got a date or something?”
“Nope. This is all courtesy of you know who,” I tell her with a sarcastic smile.
“Leah,” she laughs.
“Hmm, I wonder how the hell you could have figured that out. I totally should have picked out my own costume.” They all laugh at me. “You are looking pretty good yourself. That’s what I should have been,” I say winking at her. She went with the normal devil costume. Even though it’s short, it is hiding everything that should be hidden.
“I thought the idea of Halloween is being something you aren’t every other day of the year,” Shane jokes making me smile.
“I’m over missing you, Shane. Now get out,” I say throwing a bug at him.
“Hey, don’t be throwing my decorations,” Leah says coming up behind me. Of course, I’d get caught. She puts another drink in front of me after l
ooking in the cup in front of me. “Thought that one may have been gone already. Come eat before all the good stuff is gone,” she instructs us.
“Go ahead. I’m not hungry, yet,” I tell her before starting on my drink.
“You are going to pass out before you even make it to the dance floor, Lyss. Let’s go eat something.” She is pulling on my arm. It’s easier just to agree.
We all hang out after eating for a bit. It feels so good to have all of my closest friends around me, even if someone is missing. Laughing with them really does make me feel better. Well, there’s that and the large amount of alcohol I’ve consumed. A familiar song starts to play in the background and Leah jumps up.
“Let’s go. That’s our song calling us,” she says as she downs the rest of her drink before standing up.
“There’s like two people dancing, Leah. I’m not going out there,” I say.
“Don’t worry. Once you two are out there in those costumes, the dance floor will fill up real quick,” Paige announces pulling me along with her. Erin and Julia also come to dance bringing Mark and Tommy along with them. I don’t think those guys will leave their girlfriends alone for one second in those school girl costumes.
Dancing with the girls to the one song turns into dancing to the next five songs. We are having so much fun that I don’t even see all the people who are now dancing around us until I leave to take a break. Paige comes with me because she wants to make sure I am not gone long. The guys have been bringing us drinks, but my feet are starting to hurt in these shoes. Our view of the table has disappeared since Leah has us dancing right in front of the DJ. When we make our way through the other dancers, the first thing I notice is someone sitting in my seat. My anger takes control of me in an instant as I walk up behind the intruder.
“Get the fuck out of my seat.” It didn’t even sound like my voice.
“I didn’t see your name on it,” the blond tramp mouths back not turning around.
Forever Altered Page 20