by Sara Summers
“I didn’t want to make you more uncomfortable than you already were.” Logan protested.
“Sure you didn’t.” I rolled my eyes and wrung my hair out in the extra part of the towel.
“Emma.” He grabbed me around the waist, spinning me so my body smashed up against his. Logan took my face in his hands, and I leaned as far away from him as I could.
“You said you wouldn’t kiss me until I asked you to.” I glared at him again, the soulmate that I desperately wanted but knew was no good for me.
“That was before I knew you thought I wasn’t attracted to you.” His voice still had some growl in it, and that surprised me. He hadn’t ever let the wolf in him have even a sliver of control, and now he seemed to be functioning equal part human and animal.
“I knew you were attracted to me, I just also knew that you didn’t care.” I pulled his arms off of my waist and stepped back over to the closet. Ignoring the fact that he was only a few feet away from me, I dropped the towel and pulled my clothes on.
I could feel his eyes burning holes in my skin as I got dressed.
“I care.” He took my hand when I was done getting dressed, and I figured he’d decided not to push me anymore. “I always cared.”
“I know. You just cared about your fame and your family more.”
He let go of me and took a step back, nodding once.
“I’ll go sleep on the couch.” He grudgingly agreed.
“Good call.” I dried my hair in the towel as he walked toward the door. “Logan?” I stopped him before he left.
“Yeah?” he turned his whole body to face me.
“What did your mom say to get you to follow me here?” I watched a few different emotions cross over Logan’s face, none of which I had a name for.
“You think I’m here because of her?” his voice was quiet, but I could see that I’d hurt him.
“What did she say, Logan?” I was tired of talking, I just wanted an answer so I could go to bed knowing.
“She told me not to come.”
He left the room before I could respond.
Logan choosing his mother over me was one of the main reasons I’d left him. If he’d finally decided that I mattered more to him than she did, I should at least show him I noticed it.
Sighing, I followed him into the hall and grabbed his hand.
“Sleep in my bed tonight.” My words were soft and a little bit unsure.
“What?” he turned around. I hurried to come up with a reason so it didn’t look like I’d changed my mind about not wanting to be with him.
“You won’t be able to move if you sleep on the couch. Sleep in my bed.” I shrugged like it was nothing, though it definitely wasn’t nothing.
“Are you sure?” Logan was cautious.
“Stay.”
I wasn’t going to pretend to be confident in my decision, even though he was my soulmate and I wanted him to be with me. There were still too many bad memories to be completely sure of anything.
“Alright.”
He closed the door to the bedroom and walked slowly over to the bed.
Even though he took his usual side and I took mine, it felt like I was getting into bed with a stranger.
“Can I hold you?” his whispered tickled the back of my neck.
I swallowed. Instead of speaking, I nodded.
“Goodnight, Emma.”
“Goodnight.” I replied a few long minutes later, but he was snoring by then. Maybe Logan had been an idiot and I’d him more than enough chances, but I wanted to be with him.
So I cuddled into his chest like we hadn’t been in a nightmare of a relationship for the past month and tried to let myself relax.
Twenty-Seven
The next morning, I woke up in Logan’s arms. I wasn’t sure what to think of that; waking up in his arms. Every other night we’d been together I had woken up alone.
It felt different, I decided. Special, almost.
Or at least it could’ve been special if I hadn’t walked out on him forty-eight hours earlier.
I slipped out of bed, and the movement woke Logan.
“Emma?” he looked at me with bleary eyes. “Why am I covered in dirt?” when he tried to move, he groaned. “I worked construction, didn’t I?”
“Yep.” I didn’t want to admit that I, too, was a little sore. Nothing compared to my soulmate, but still.
“I need to take a shower.” Logan got out of bed and walked to the door with a pained grimace contorting his face. When he grabbed the doorknob, he stopped for a second and walked back to me. “Good morning.” He covered my mouth with his in a soft but sensual slow kiss.
“What was that for?” I ended it before it got too sexy and stepped back, folding my arms.
“Because you’re beautiful and I love you.” He said it like it was simple. After the month we’d had, it was anything but that.
“Go shower.” I walked past him, heading down the stairs. I could hear my mom making dinner breakfast in the kitchen. My dad and the twins were already at work, I knew, so it was just me, my mom, Artie, and Logan.
“Hey, Art.” I hugged his shoulders.
“You stink.” Artie complained, pushing me away. I knew I smelled like Logan did, which meant I smelled like stale sweat and dirt. Artie turned his attention back to the new cell phone in his hands.
“I noticed the couch was empty last night.” My mom flashed me a smile over her shoulder while she flipped a pancake.
“I might be giving him another chance.” I sat down at the table next to Artie. His eyebrows shot into his forehead. “Do you know this lady, Em?” he held the phone out to me and I saw a picture of Laren Lush’s beautiful face looking very worried.
“That’s Logan’s mom. Why?”
“She’s saying that you blackmailed and abducted her son.” He looked at me with wide eyes, and I took the phone from his hand.
“What?” I pressed play on the video.
My mouth fell open when I saw Laren crying full-blown crocodile tears.
“My son was blackmailed into following that wolf girl to the Dumpster. I haven’t heard from him since. When she found him, she changed him into one of them and forced him to do what she wanted. Why else would Logan’s supposed soulmate be wandering the city alone? She took pictures with all of those people so no one would know about her plan. We need to catch her, and we need to bring her to justice. Please, someone find my son.”
Logan stopped partway down the staircase, his eyes wide with shock. He couldn’t believe she’d said that I guess.
I’d been frustrated with him and his mother before—plenty. Especially in the month I’d spent with Logan, I had been frustrated. But the way I was feeling wasn’t frustration.
It was fury.
He must’ve seen it in my eyes because he held up his hands in surrender as he hurried to the bottom of the stairs.
“Wait, I didn’t—”
“Did you know about this?” I demanded, dropping Artie’s phone in his hand and covering the space between Logan and I three steps. I didn’t care what his answer was though; enough was enough.
“Of course not. I would never let her say those things about you!” he protested. I grabbed his duffel bag off the ground and shoved it into his arms.
“Get out, I’m done.” I pointed to the door, my face red and burning, angrier than I ever knew a person could be.
“Emma, please! I’ll make a statement telling the truth, I’ll make sure everyone knows what really happened. I will do whatever you want me to, just give me a chance.” He begged.
“I’ve given you enough chances, Logan, and I’m tired of getting hurt. Get out.”
When he didn’t budge, I pushed him out the door.
“Stay away from me.” I warned.
“Em, just—“
The door I slammed in his face cut him off.
A glance at my mom’s face told me that if I stayed there, we would be talking. I didn’t want her sympathy or her pit
y.
So I strutted out the back door like it was the only thing on my mind and shifted, taking off into the forest.
I ran all day again, spending all of the time in my wolf form. It felt good to get reacquainted with that side of me, to remember why I had fought for that part of me in the first place. I would always love being a wolf.
When I got back to my house late that night, Arthur was sitting in one of the camping chairs on the porch. He had his feet propped up on the wooden picnic table, and it looked like he was asleep. Both of the porch lights were on so it wasn’t bright, but it wasn’t dark either.
Still, I grabbed my shirt in my mouth and pulled it behind the bushes to shift there, just in case he was awake.
That turned out to be a good call, because he opened his eyes when I walked up onto the porch.
“How are you?” Arthur asked, with the same unreadable expression as always.
My mind combed through all of the possible answers as I tugged on a pair of basketball shorts that weren’t mine.
There was hurt, or frustrated. Angry, or sad.
But most of all, I felt exhausted.
“Tired.” I watered down the answer for his sake.
Arthur nodded once.
“You think I made the wrong choice.” I sat down on top of the table portion of the picnic table and leaned back.
“I think you did what you had to do. There’s no right or wrong in a situation like this.” He lifted his shoulders a tiny bit.
“Laren isn’t paying you anymore, is she?”
I had realized during my time in wolf form that my soulmate’s mother hated me much more than I’d ever realized. I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d done or the fact that I was a shifter instead of the daughter she had always wanted that really bothered her, but it didn’t matter. I knew she wouldn’t have paid him to protect me after I’d landed in Washington and gone back home because she didn’t care if I was safe.
“No. I was supposed to fly back after I got you to the car.” His expression still didn’t budge.
“Then why are you here?”
“Because your family reminds me of the life I would’ve had if Amelia hadn’t died.” He admitted. “And because you remind me of her.”
“What was she like, your soulmate?” I wondered, pulling my hair over one shoulder.
A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of Arthur’s lips, the first I’d ever seen.
“She was beautiful and smart and stubborn, and she cared about people in a way that most couldn’t understand. She loved the students in her class so much that she gave her life to save them, but she would’ve done the same for anyone.” His words were quiet.
I felt my eyes start to tear up and wiped them with the back of my hand.
“My mom was like that too. At least, that’s what Leah and her friends told me. My birth mom. She died protecting shifters. That’s why it means so much to me that I am one.” I admitted.
“Then she would be proud of you.” He said, looking off into the forest.
“I hope so.” My voice was barely a whisper. “I feel guilty for what I did to Logan. Maybe I didn’t make a good decision when I left him and then kicked him out, but it was the only one I could live with.”
“Well I think that makes it the right choice, then.” Arthur’s expression was stony again, but not because he didn’t care.
For a few minutes, the only thing I heard was crickets, trees rustling in the wind, and running water in the small stream below us.
“Do you think Logan ever loved me?” I asked him. I needed to know the thoughts of someone who was close to me but not so close that he was on either of our sides.
“I think Logan loved you the only way his mother taught him how to.” Arthur’s eyes lifted to the sky.
“Do you think that could change?” this time, my voice was quiet again. I knew I shouldn’t be asking or even wondering, but I couldn’t help it. Despite everything, I still wanted to be with him.
“With time. If he stays here, I don’t see how he could stop himself from changing.”
“You think he’s going to stay?” I raised my eyebrows.
“I know he’s going to stay. He made a statement earlier today, you should watch it sometime.” Arthur pulled his feet off the picnic table and rested them on the wooden porch.
“Maybe after my heart has some time to heal.” I moved to sit on the seat portion of the table.
There were a few more minutes of calm silence before I spoke again.
“What do I do now?” I wondered, thinking about how I could possibly occupy my time. “I don’t want to build houses anymore, and I don’t exactly have any other skills to make money. Besides, even if I wanted to stay, I don’t belong here anymore.” I gestured to the house behind me.
“Don’t worry about money. When you became a Lush, you inherited a bank account that won’t ever run dry.” Arthur reminded me.
“I know. I’ll go crazy if I don’t stay busy though.” I leaned my back against the table, looking out at the trees. “I think that if airplanes weren’t involved, I would like to see the world.”
“So go to Europe.” He shrugged. “Take the train everywhere, you’ll only have to fly there and back. Figure out who you are and who you want to be.”
“Maybe I will.” I said, nodding slowly.
I could feel the hope rising inside me. The idea was something so new and crazy that while it felt insane, it also felt exciting.
More than anything, it felt free.
“What will you do?” I asked Arthur.
“I’ll stay here, buy a house. Watch the sun rise and set. I feel too close to Amelia here to leave.”
“She would be proud of you, Arthur. You’re a good man.” I stood up and left him on the porch, walking inside the house.
Closing the door to my bedroom as quietly as I could, I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked around.
It didn’t feel like home anymore.
Nothing felt like home anymore.
Sure, I loved the forest, but who was I kidding? I didn’t belong in Mount Edge, and I didn’t belong in my parents’ house. I wasn’t a New York girl, but I wasn’t a Cage girl either.
I didn’t know where I belonged, but I knew where I didn’t.
So I was leaving, again, but this time I wasn’t going anywhere in particular. I was going to go everywhere.
Grabbing my suitcases, I unzipped them all and piled everything on the floor. I had to get it down to one suitcase and a carry-on; I wasn’t going to lug three suitcases around everywhere.
I spent the rest of the night packing, and when I heard my brothers and dad in the kitchen eating breakfast, I went down to say goodbye.
When I went back up to my old room, I sat down on the bed again. I’d hug my mom and Artie before I left, but there was one goodbye that I didn’t quite know do.
I wasn’t ready to see Logan again, and I didn’t know how long it would be until I was. A letter, though I could do.
Grabbing an old notebook and pencil from my closet, I tried to write a letter. It would be eloquent and beautiful, I thought, something that would make him cry and want to change and feel something.
The words wouldn’t come, though, so I gave up on that idea.
I’d about decided not to bother with a goodbye at all when my eyes landed on the beautiful ring on my dresser, the one that I loved.
Picking up my notebook again, I wrote in big letters:
HOLD ON TO THIS FOR ME. I’LL BE BACK FOR IT.
I didn’t sign my name or add a heart; that wouldn’t have fit. Logan and I were soulmates and that meant a lot to me, but it almost felt like we’d met at the wrong point in time.
When I came back for that ring, I decided, I would be completely ready for everything that came with it. If that took me three weeks, three months, or three years, so be it.
But I would be back for it. There wasn’t a question in my mind about that.
I would be back
for my ring, and I would be back for Logan. He was my soulmate, after all, and I loved him.
Twenty-Eight
Four months after I boarded a plane bound for Spain, I woke up in a hotel room in Slovakia.
The sun peeked in through the windows, and I slipped out of bed. My big sweater covered my hands, but I didn’t mind.
Walking over to one of the large windows, I pulled the curtains to the side and couldn’t hide a smile. The scenery was beautiful.
With snow dusting the trees, buildings, and mountains, it was quite literally a winter wonderland.
Somehow, it reminded me of home.
I went back to the bed and grabbed my colorful purse, pulling out the iPad that I’d purchased so I had a way to keep in contact with my family. Missing them was the hardest part about traveling.
“Hey, Tanner.” I smiled when my brother answered the facetime call.
“Hey, Em.” He grinned. “Hold on a sec.” he lifted my mom’s iPad. “Say hi, guys.”
I saw my parents and Artie in the kitchen, and waved to them from the screen. I told them where I was when they asked, and they told me that life was great. They’d met a family of humans who were living in Mount Edge, they said, which was kind of a miracle.
“We saw you on that talk show the other day.” Tanner told me, the camera going crazy while he turned the iPad back to his face. “You looked good, happy.”
“I am.” I admitted, lifting the long sleeve on my sweater up to scratch my head. “Ugh, I need to wash my hair.” I made a face and pulled it over my shoulder. “Where’s Cody? What’s he up to?”
“Not much.” Tanner tried to brush it off.
“He didn’t find his soulmate, did he?” I asked, suddenly worried that I’d missed something huge.
“Nah, we’re both still waiting for our brains to kick into gear.” He shook his head.
“Then where is he? You two do everything together.”
“He’s on the couch.” Tanner turned the screen again, pointing it to the couch. I saw the backs of both Logan’s and Cody’s heads sitting on the couch, playing video games together. They both yelled “Whoa!” when something happened, and laughed together.