Hate Me

by Leen Elle

I shook my head slightly to dispel the argument currently going on inside my head and continued studying the guys. Apparently, none of the present male population had realized our imminent presence, despite that fact that our outfits were certainly more than a little different from their football uniform. This just proves how freaking dense and one-minded each one of them is. A guy with his arms crossed over his chest and had his dirty blond hair flopping into his chestnut eyes was smirking. Trent. My lips curled in distaste as he spoke.

  "So, Sierra¸ how was it like, sleeping with our quarterback?" He teased, a slight evil tone creeping into his voice. At this, I felt Calista stiffen beside me. The school quarterback was Logan.

  "Yea, on the picnic table, even," another guy chimed in. "You know, he kinda had a hard time washing that black lipstick off, and we saw his back just now. Man, you're a real tigress!"

  I heard a familiar voice joining in their ribbing, "What's more, you had to do it without protection! Isn't that just plain stupid?" Kenneth. I narrowed my eyes angrily. The poor girl standing in the middle was biting her lower lips, and probably biting back tears as well. Finally, their other subject sent them into peals of deep laughter with a, "Well it was hard to wash the lipstick off but hey, it made the party last night worthwhile!"

  "There was a party last night and you didn't even tell me?" A sudden shout came from my right, where Calista was letting the lid off her compressed anger. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR 'STUDY GROUP MEETING'?" Logan opened and closed his mouth in the amazing likeness of a goldfish as he tried to register the scene of his irate girlfriend standing before him, immediately wishing that he hadn't said what he just said.

  Sierra's amethyst eyes were wide as she stared at Calista. Logan spluttered as the rest of the football team watched on in amusement. Note that I said 'amusement', and not something like 'sympathetic'. Had it been a girl in Logan's position, the other girls would have been sympathetic but judging by the smirks and suppressed laughter on each guy's face, it just wasn't the case here. Logan spluttered again helplessly before stammering, "L… Look, I c…c…can explain! Calista, honey, I…"

  "Don't you freaking honey me you cheating nincompoop!" Calista screamed, causing the three of us to stifle our laughs at her interesting choice of vocabulary. "It's OVER!" At this, our urge to laugh quelled. Calista never broke up in public, never. It was almost like me never keeping a relationship for more than a week. Belinda slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders and Leila took her hand gently, wiping away the tears which were already falling down her cheeks. Taking Calista's other hand, I glared at the guys, snarling, "Get lost!"

  Trent's eyes brightened when he saw me, his puny mind not exactly understanding the situation here as he asked, "Yo, Raylin! Lookin' as sexy as ever. Say, since you've broken up with Kenny over there, does it mean I've a chance now?" Kenneth reached over and walloped him over the head, albeit with a grin. I took a deep breath before yelling, "JUST FUCKING GET LOST! NOW!" That was all it took for them to disappear. Sierra just continued standing there, a line of black trickling from her eye. Checking to make sure that the other girls were looking after Calista, I walked over to the Goth girl and pulled her into a small hug, much to her surprise.

  "You're the Ice Queens, aren't you?" Sierra muttered tearfully, gazing at each of us in turn. We nodded solemnly, despite the fact that there was this unestablished rule amongst us to act dumb about the 'Ice Queen' thing. "Calista, I'm sorry. I didn't know… I was drunk. I wouldn't have done it but I drank something and… I didn't know what happened after that. I really am sorry." Calista gave her a watery smile and pulled her into another hug. Sierra's eyes widened even more. I guess it wasn't in a Goth girl's schedule to be hugged by two Ice Queens in one day.

  "It's not your fault. I just thought Logan was someone different, but they're all the same," Calista blubbered, dabbing at her eyes with the tissue I handed her. "It wasn't your fault, really. If anything, it was his fault for doing it with you when you weren't thinking clearly, and for cheating on me."

  Belinda leaned her head on Calista's shoulder and cooed, "It's alright, you'll meet someone better. There's always someone better!"

  "Bullshit." Leila stated flatly. I gave her a nudge and she shut up, settling for encircling Sierra's shoulders with her arm. I dabbed at Sierra's face with another piece of tissue, cleaning away the black streak. Leila looked at the shorter girl approvingly, "You're a very pretty girl so don't look so down. And please don't be so stiff, we're just Ice Queens and not monsters ready to eat you."

  "That wasn't funny, Leila," I snorted, smiling at Sierra, who returned it with a tentative one of her own. "Shall we go to our lockers now or something? I need to get my books and go to the book house." Sierra slid out of Leila's one-armed hug and waved goodbye to us before Calista pulled her back, laughing.

  "When Raylin said 'we', she meant all five of us." She smiled at the younger girl genuinely, getting a warm (black-rimmed) smile in return. "Let's go." We walked along together, passing the cheerleaders from their training as we went. Cecilia stared in horror at our new addition. She nudged Danya, a fellow cheerleader who went on to nudge the next girl and so, the whole bunch of them was staring at us.

  "Raylin!" She squealed, running up to me. "Who's she? Is she a Goth? Why is it that she's hanging out with you girls? Is she disturbing you? Shall I drag her away?"

  I motioned for the others to move along as I addressed Cecilia coolly, "No, Cecilia. Sierra is hanging out with us. Is that fine by you?"

  "No!" She exclaimed indignantly. "I mean… Yes, it's your choice, isn't it? I hope you have fun hanging out with her…" She took a few steps back then ran back to her friends, jabbering to them about our recent conversation. I shook my head slightly at her ridiculous actions and walked on to join my friends. They were surrounding my locker, Sierra standing slightly away from them shyly.

  I peered between Leila and Belinda to look at the piece of blank paper taped to my locker door. Frowning, I leaned forwards to take it off, careful not to tear the paper. I flipped it around to see a design of roses and forget-me-nots, doves and trailing ribbons, and the words 'Valentine's Day Dance 2007' in the middle. I blinked in surprise. I was pretty sure that besides the four of us, no one else knew of the banner. Shrugging, I took my things out of the locker and proceeded to leave the school with the rest, sliding the banner design into a folder to pass to a banner-making company to make things easier. It was then that I received a call from the school music teacher – Mrs. Morris, who had some very interesting news…

  VIPER

  I stopped before the school building, wondering how the hell my feet had managed to bring me here. Hesitating for just a moment, I made up my mind and walked up the steps, my hands shoved deep inside my pocket. As I walked up, I passed a couple of girls descending and they started whispering.

  "He's such an emo guy! Did you know he always dresses in black?" Miss Obvious asked her friend. One must be blind to not notice that my wardrobe consisted only of black clothings.

  "Yea! But he's so cute, though!" Miss Obvious's friend responded, giggling as she caught my eye. I snorted in distaste and continued walking up the stairs and into the nearly empty school. As I walked past the lockers to go to the music room, I heard an irritated cry coming from around the corner.

  "What am I going to do about this damn thing?" Raylin was shouting. For the first time since I have known her, she slammed her locker door, and threw something on the ground. Out of curiosity, I ambled over and picked it up, untangling the cloth the see a rather nice, but torn, banner for the Valentine's Day dance. Looking closely though, I could see that the butterflies at the edge were just a tad… too fat. I bit back a chuckle before folding it and putting it on top of her locker.

  I took a detour from the music room and went to the library instead, getting a piece of paper and pencil from the librarian. In less than fifteen minutes, I had a design ready for Raylin. Drawing a design for the banner of the Valentine's Day da
nce came pretty easily to me, considering that I was in a mood after having just entertained thoughts about my mother. In short, thinking of my mother brought about images of forget-me-nots and roses, doves and ribbons.

  I returned the pencil to the librarian, who gave me a suspicious glare. I swear, librarians simply loathe me. You know what? It's all a conspiracy amongst all the librarians. After taking a step out the door, I turned back and borrowed a piece of tape from her, forcing my lips into a smile. I had to stifle more chortles when she looked positively freaked out. I taped the paper quickly to Raylin's locker and glanced around before making my way to the music room.

  The door was slightly open, and the lights were on, but there was nobody inside. I took a step in gingerly and peered around the place. Spotting an acoustic guitar lying on top of the piano, for some weird reason, I picked it up and ran my fingers along its strings. I preferred my own guitar, that was for sure, but this would do for now. I settled into a chair and tuned it quickly, plucking the first note of that song.

  "Desperado…" I was startled to find myself singing while strumming the chords. "…Why don't you come to your senses?"

  "Mummy, why d'you like this song so much?" A little boy asked, handing his younger brother a cushion to lean on as they bounced on their parents' bed. His mother smiled lovingly at him before joining her sons on the bed, drawing them to her where they settled gladly in her lap.

  "When I was a teenager, I used to think love didn't exist." She began, stroking the elder boy's blonde hair and patting the younger boy's back. "Until one day, I met your father. He liked me, and he tried to get me to like him back. I just couldn't. Then, during our prom night, he sang this song. He dedicated it to me, and suddenly, I just felt this feeling. The feeling of love."

  The boy listened solemnly, holding his sleeping brother's hand. He asked his mother, his blue eyes intense and serious, "Mummy, will you teach me how to sing the song, so I can sing it for you?" She beamed in delight and leaned across to pull a lyrics book out of the cupboard, flipping to the page where the lyrics of 'Desperado' were. Don Henley's vocals filled the room as she pressed the play button.

  Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

  You been out ridin' fences for so long now

  Oh, you're a hard one

  But I know that you got your reasons

  These things that are pleasin' you

  Can hurt you somehow

  Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy

  She'll beat you if she's able

  You know the queen of hearts is always your

  best bet

  Now it seems to me, some fine things

  Have been laid upon your table

  But you only want the ones that you can't get

  Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger

  Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you

  home

  And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some

  people talkin'

  Your prison is walking through this world all alone

  Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?

  The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine

  It's hard to tell the night time from the day

  You're losin' all your highs and lows

  Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

  Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

  Come down from your fences, open the gate

  It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you

  You better let somebody love you

  (let sombody love you)

  You better let somebody love you

  before it's too late

  "Learn the song well, Mason. And sing it with pride to the girl you love in future." His mother whispered, as the little boy drifted off to sleep. She bent down to kiss him on his forehead before leaning back against her pillow, falling asleep as well.

  "You better let somebody love you…" My voice trailed off when someone echoed 'let somebody love you'. I turned to see the music teacher beaming at me, gesturing for me to continue. I made myself turn away from her and sang the last line, strumming the last note, leaving it hanging in the air. She clapped happily, pulling up a chair to sit before me.

  "Mason! I heard that you're a great guitarist, but I never knew you could sing as well! I'm so glad I walked in at the exact moment to hear you sing, right from the start!" She exclaimed. My blood ran cold. Right from the start? She had been here since I started playing. I muttered, "No one knows I can sing because no one was supposed to hear me sing."

  "What was that, Mason?" She asked brightly. I shook my head. "Well, why don't you perform during the Valentine's Day dance? There's a concert before the dance starts, right? I'm sure there's a slot for you. Your voice is so beautifully husky that it'd be a definite waste if you can't perform, don't you think?"

  At her suggestion to play during the concert, I shook my head frantically. Uh-huh, I do think it would be waste indeed. Yea right. She ignored my spluttered protests and continued, "Yes, that's right, I think I'll just give that wonderful Raylin a call now to arrange everything. Go on singing, it's alright. I'll be off now!" I sat in stunned silence, my jaw hanging loosely. I looked down at the guitar in my hands. Never before had I hated myself so much for singing that song. I got up to put the guitar back on the piano and left the music room hastily before the teacher came back.

  As I walked along the streets back home, immersed in my thoughts, my cellphone rang. I screwed my eyes shut, my fingers fumbling for the stupid gadget. Someday, I was going to throw the irritating phone off a bridge and watch it sink to the depths of the deep blue ocean in sadistic glee. I jabbed at the call button in annoyance, "Who are you and what in the name of hell do you want?"

  "Viper?"

  "Raylin?" I was startled to hear her voice since we don't exactly have the habit of calling each other. Unless of course, it consisted of either one of our siblings getting into trouble or rabid librarians. I scowled darkly at this particular memory. My ego had never been the same since then.

  "Look, Mrs. Morris just called me to tell me about your amazing voice and guitar skills, and wow, how come you never told me…"

  "Let's not talk about it!" I shouted into the phone, oblivious to the surprised looks from passer-bys.

  "Oh, and thanks. For the design." Before I could ask how she knew, she continued. "Back to your performance, you're scheduled to be the last performer which is at 7pm. I apologize, but that's the only slot we have left, so try to make it to the school by that time okay? Bye!"

  She hung up on me before I could get another word in, leaving me to remove the phone from my ear and stare at it in confusion. Thanks, Raylin. Thanks.

  Chapter 8

  Boy And Friends Don't Go Together

  "If I could be anything in the world, I would choose to be a tear, so that I could be born in your eye, live down your cheek and die on your lips."

  RAYLIN

  I miss him. I miss having him and his annoying little brother around the house. I miss walking into their rooms and grimacing at the mess simply because my own room is so flawless and perfect. Who am I talking about, you ask? Have you even been reading my life story? I'm talking about Viper. That's right, you didn't read it wrong, I miss Viper. I miss his beau- familiar blue eyes, and his buff and ho- lean body, and his tempt- cool hair. Man, if the girls ever heard me saying all these right now, they'd tease me to no ends. Besides, I'm pretty sure Rayne misses her counterpart too (read: Melvin). Living in a family of only girls for seven years has weird effects on one. Alright, in truth, I just miss having someone my age around to talk to. I returned home to see his note and to tell the truth, I was a little upset that he hadn't told me the situation to my face.

  "Raylin! You look great," Calista called out, walking towards me with Belinda in tow. I gave her a huge smile, complimenting the new pink halter she was wearing. It was almost three periods after our break and I knew Calista was just play-acting as though
she just bumped into me.

  "And you look great too, babe," I waved to Leila who was approaching us. Leila gave me a weird stare before uttering thanks. Laughing, we made our way towards the lockers amongst the flock of students. It didn't take more than five minutes before Calista was attacking Leila with a new prospective boyfriend. According to her vast vocabulary, the guy was 'tall, dark and so insanely good-looking you'll faint when you see him!' I exchanged knowing glances with Belinda as we stopped before our lockers.

  The bell rang and almost immediately, there were sounds of locker doors being slammed as the throngs of people started moving off to their classes. I waved goodbye to Belinda and Leila who were going for their Calculus classes and walked off to Chemistry with Calista. The students were trickling into the school's rather crummy laboratory.

  You'd think that with the expenses they spent on furnishing the hall, lecture theatres and offices, they'd be able to replace some of the equipment in the laboratories. But no, majority of the test tubes were cracked, causing solutions to leak and stain the once white marble tabletops. The goggles we wore were cloudy and oily, and simply hampering our vision. Calista and I took our usual places at the front of the class, beaming at our teacher. He reminded me of Einstein, with his frizzy gray hair, almost white mustache and droopy eyes. Still, he was a good teacher, if the students actually bothered paying attention to him.

  Once the class had finally settled down, he motioned to the board and instructed us on the experiment we were going to perform that day, which was undoubtedly going to involve explosions of some sort. Professor Lyon had a weird fetish with exploding noises and such. Before he released us to collect the solutions needed, there was a sudden knock on the door. All thirty pairs of eyes turned towards the door where Sierra was standing. Her black hair was tied up into a ponytail today, and her make-up was as dark as yesterday's. The dark purple shirt she wore brought out the startling purple of her eyes, and beneath her black skirt, she wore fishnets. Well, she wore fishnets over her arms as well.