Hate Me

by Leen Elle

  "Answer me." I growled, my patience beginning to wear thin. I felt the fury building up in me again, the kind of anger that always got me into fistfights. I shifted to the side, further away from him. I had no wish to inflict any injury on my own brother. I waited for his reply again. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. I got to my feet and yanked his arm upwards. He stumbled and stood up in front of me, avoiding my gaze.

  "MELVIN! ANSWER THE DAMNED QUESTION. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GET INTO A FUCKING FIGHT?!" I gave him a slight shove on his shoulder, immediately regretting letting go of my control when he met my eyes. His eyes were teary and he was chewing his lip again. My shoulders sagged downwards as I ruffled his hair softly. "Shucks. Mel, I'm sorry for shouting, okay? Just tell me. Stop being a stubborn ass."

  He swallowed visibly as he shifted his gaze away from me once more. There was a knock on the front door. I gave him one last look and went into the living room to open the apartment door. Surprise, surprise. Miss Raylin was standing outside my door, with a worried look on her face. We looked at each other in silence for a good half minute before I raised an eyebrow slowly. "So did you come here to stare at me, or did you have something to say?"

  At that, she removed her shoes and shoved past me, moving into the room quickly. Startled, I slammed the door shut and followed after her. I was taken aback when I saw her squatting next to Melvin, who had hunched back into his little corner again. Before I could stop myself, I was already asking her incredulously, "You came here because you sensed that my brother was upset?" She turned to fix an icy glare on me and suddenly, a pillow was flying straight at my face. I barely had time to wince before another one came hurtling towards my stomach. That girl had deadly aim.

  "For your information, I came here for something else entirely, but we'll leave that for later. I heard you shouting at your brother when I walked past his window," she explained calmly. Seriously, nothing seems to faze her. I picked up the pillows on the floor and returned them to their rightful positions, moving to sit behind him.

  "Hey kid," I said softly. "Is there a reason why you can't tell me what happened?" He shook his head before mumbling something unintelligible. Raylin leaned closer and urged him to repeat it in a strangely gentle tone. He whispered a long string of words in her ear and there was a flash of something in her eyes. Sadness, maybe. Or perhaps it was simply sympathy. I looked at her for an explanation and she conveyed what he said, "He said he didn't want you to get angry at him so he didn't tell you. His friends teased him for not having a father. That your father was useless whether he existed or not. They said he was an orphan."

  At this, he tilted his head backwards to look at me. Looking at his tearstained face, there was a painful twang at my heart. His voice sounded choked as he told me, "Bro, I'm sorry I hit those guys. I know they were being immature and trying to rile me up but I… I miss dad. I know he was terrible to us and you hate him but I miss him so much."

  His voice broke and there were soft sobs. My brother was crying. All at once, I realized just how young he really was. So he thought I would have gotten angry had I known that he missed our father. So he never wanted attention, or to win when we argued. All he wanted and needed was a father figure, one that I was guilty to find that I couldn't provide. Raylin was quiet as she moved away to let me clamber off the bed to sit next to him. I hesitated before placing a comforting arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a one-armed hug. He leaned on my shoulder and went on crying. I patted his back, remembering how we had sat like this so many years back when our mother left for good. Raylin watched on, her face an impassive mask again, but a tinge of sorrow in those gray eyes.

  He crawled out from under my arm and looked at us with puffy eyes, requesting in a small voice for us to leave because he was tired, and he wanted to sleep. We stepped back, watching as he climbed into his bed and burrowed under the covers. True to his words, he fell asleep fast, and his breathing became deep and slow. I had never done it for him in my life, but today, I tucked him in and wiped his tearstained cheeks with my thumb. I looked down at my brother's dark brown head and wondered whether he could ever get over it.

  I was so caught up in my own world that I never noticed how he really felt. I thought he was like me, full of hatred for our father, and happy that he was gone. But he had never really known our mother, or spent as much time with her as I did. It appears that he had only had one abusive parent in his life, and I never knew. I made assumptions. I should never have made assumptions. I should have spent more time with him. I should have shown him more brotherly concern instead of brushing him off when he tried to talk to me. I turned and hurried out of the room and into my own, almost forgetting that Raylin was there too.

  She appeared at my door way and sat on the foot of my bed. As though she was reading my thought, she said gently, "Viper, it's not your fault, you know." I shifted my attention from my guitar to her face. For some unfounded reason, those thoughts made me feel like crying too. I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands. My vision started blurring as a film of tears started to coat my eyes. How could I cry in front of her? I hurriedly swiped at them and looked at Raylin again.

  "You can cry in front of me. I don't mind." Damn the girl and her unnerving ability to know what people think.

  "But I mind!" I snapped impatiently, unwilling to let her see my weak side. "Didn't you come here for something?"

  "That can wait," she said unexpectedly, getting up and sitting next to me. She was getting close, too close. I could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo. Abruptly, I found myself enveloped in an oddly comforting hug. "I don't usually hug people. But I think you need one as much as your brother did just now."

  I broke into a smile and pulled her closer until we were lying on my bed, burrowing my face in her neck and allowing my tears to fall.

  "Sorry," I murmured guiltily. I doubt she had planned for me to change our positions. She didn't even protest and merely patted my back, moving her arms downwards to circle them around my waist.

  "It's okay. Just don't get your eyeliner all over me."

  "I'm not wearing eyeliner today," I murmured again sleepily. All that crying to make up for my lack of tears this past few years had made me tired.

  "Sleep," she whispered.

  I leaned back to look at her, enquiring jokingly, "You want to sleep with me, Your Majesty?"

  She rolled her eyes, "Sleep and then you won't think so much. Then you can go bring your brother out for a nice time and bond with him and all that crap that boys like doing." I smirked at the faint flush across her cheeks and leaned into her neck again.

  I'm not entirely sure either, but I think I fell asleep.

  RAYLIN

  I uncircled my left arm from his waist to look at my watch. We had been lying like that for almost half an hour. Unwittingly, I returned my back to its original position.

  Viper is rather nice to hug, isn't he? Don't be nonsensical. I'm merely comforting him. But you don't usually comfort people, do you? … That's true. So why are you comforting him in such an... unusual manner? Well, it's none of your business. You made it my business because we are the same brain. Oh, stop it.

  I shook my head gently to stop my mind from wandering too far. I took a wary glance at the guy whose arms were currently wrapped around me. I tried to wriggle my way out, but he simply tightened the arm around my waist and shifted slightly. Possessive bastard, I thought irritably. I was sliding downwards instead to escape his arms when both his arms tightened again. Oh, whatever! I hit his chest lightly in annoyance. I gave up moving and leaned against his chest instead, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Wait, what exactly was I doing? I looked up at his face and found myself staring at his lashes. Guys don't deserve to have such nice eyelashes. I shook my head slightly again to dispel those thoughts. Where were all these weird thoughts coming from?

  Suddenly, I found myself being lifted and carried all the way to the other side of the bed as he turned on his other side. My eyes widened
in surprise. He lifted me in his sleep like I was a freaking pillow. I untangled my legs from his and sighed. Maybe it had been a bad idea to ask him to sleep. When I was still in his arms. Not that it's such a bad thing. Why don't you just shut the fuck up? I rolled my eyes heavenwards and prayed for some medicine to make my brain stop working overtime. Sleeping would help. OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM. Good point, I ignored the second voice in my head and shut my eyes.

  I probably fell asleep as well.

  VIPER

  I didn't sleep for long before I woke up. I found the girl in my arms struggling to get out. I was smirking mentally as I tightened my hold on her. I felt her moving again, and tightened my hold on her once more. I could sense her annoyance as she hit me. There was suddenly no movement from her again, just a light weight on my chest. I forced myself not to laugh at her and kept my eyes closed. She was pure entertainment at the moment, even if she was nice enough to comfort me. Entertainment? Rubbish! Admit it, boy. You just want to continue holding her. That's a wrong assumption. You know I'm right. No, I know you're wrong! You're getting flustered. No I'm not, and go tape your mouth shut. I don't have a mouth! …

  There was a stinging sensation in my left arm as it began to cramp up after lying on it for so long. Unwilling to let go of her, I decided to carry her and turned to lie on my right instead. Raylin was startlingly light. Much too light for her own good. I felt her kicking my legs aside and opened my eyes slightly to look down at her. I grinned when her breathing slowed and she finally fell asleep. I brought a hand up to stroke her hair before stopping myself when I realized what I was doing.

  "Thanks," I whispered, closing my eyes and falling asleep once more.

  Chapter 14

  Mentally Unsound

  "There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space... and silence." – Someone Like You (Movie)

  RAYLIN

  When I woke up, there was no warm body close to mine or a pair of arms wrapped around my body. I got off the bed and padded out of the room to peek into Melvin's room, running my fingers through my hair. The boy was still sleeping soundly, his fingers curled around his blanket. I smiled and went off in search for Viper. I found him at the kitchen table, strumming his guitar softly.

  "That's a weird place to play your guitar at," I said casually, sitting on the table in front of him. "What are you playing?"

  "Oh, you're up," he looked up from his guitar strings at my first sentence and stood up. "Are you going to leave now?"

  I slid off the table and frowned. Was he going to pretend as though nothing happened? That's right, nothing happened between the two of you. Well, if he wanted to, I was going to be the one to do that. I nodded stiffly in response to his question. He gestured to the door nonchalantly and placed his guitar gently on the table, "I'll walk you to the lift."

  "I don't see a need to. Besides, I wanted to ask you why you didn't tell me that Jerome and Jacelyn were my step-siblings," I recalled the main reason why I had visited him in the first place. Even though you could have just given him a call… "Don't you think I deserve to know something so personal?"

  "So you've met them? You would have found out sooner or later. Isn't it better to hear it from them than to hear it from an outsider?" He asked, a genuinely puzzled look on his face. "Are you angry at me, Ray?"

  "I don't recall giving you permission to call me Ray, Viper. Only the girls are allowed to call me Ray and even they don't do that often." I found myself saying icily, shooting him a glare. Where did that come from? Looking at his even more perplexed expression, I couldn't be bothered to pursue the matter any further as I crossed the living room to the door and left. I knew without doubt that he was still standing next to the dinner table with the same confused face. Guys, they were one and the same. As I waited at the lift landing, I was pondering his neutral reaction. I would never have done that for any other person, but on second thought, I hadn't expected anything in return. I have no idea what overcame me back there, but I did know that I had to get my mind off that Goth back in the apartment before I went crazy thinking about him.

  Before long, I was sitting safely in my sanctuary with the radio and air-conditioner on. I was about to start my car when my phone rang. The moment I greeted the person on the other end of the phone, Belinda's voice was ringing in my ear, "Raylin! I'm bored! My baby is playing football with his friends and Leila's looking after her brothers and Calista is shopping with her mother. You're my only hope!"

  "I'm so devastated, Belinda. I'm your last resort?" I drawled. Belinda wouldn't be Belinda without her constant exuberance. "And by the term 'baby', I assume that you're talking about your boyfriend?"

  "Uh-huh," she chirped, and there was a resonating crash. I heard her wince audibly. "I think I broke my lamp, Ray. But who cares about it. Shall we catch a movie? Please?"

  Exuberant and clumsy. Our little pretty princess. I laughed at her forlorn voice and agreed to meet her at the mall in twenty minutes. The dear girl was sitting at the fountain when I entered the mall with my cellphone and purse in hand. She leapt up from her seat when she caught sight of me and emerged right beside me within seconds, throwing her arms around me in pure joy. I raised an eyebrow at the huge pair of sunglasses perched on her nose.

  "What's with the sunglasses in a shopping mall?" I asked with a bemused smile, beginning to walk off to Gap.

  "I felt like wearing these," she replied indifferently, taking them off before trailing after me, linking her arm through mine. "So tell me, my dear friend, what've you been up to recently? I haven't seen you in days!"

  "In lieu of your short term memory, darling, I would like to remind you that the last time we met was yesterday, in school." I rapped her head lightly with my knuckles, holding up a black dress. Before I realized what I was doing, my traitorous mouth was spilling the beans on the little situation between Viper and I. Even as I moved through Gap at an increasing speed, picking up and tossing aside clothes as I went, Belinda was right at my heel, her pouty lips seemingly in a permanent 'O' of amazement. I left Gap feeling slightly out of breath from talking and shopping at the same time, before noticing that Belinda was still giving me the same slack-jawed expression that she had worn the moment I started telling my story.

  "Girl," she finally said, letting loose a long sigh. "You need to get a new boyfriend to get your mind off Viper. Although the romantic in me says that you should just… Omigosh, run into his arms and give him a sweet kiss that will drive him nuts!"

  She squealed her last sentence with an enthusiastic clap that echoed around the fairly empty mall. She shrank her head back and gave me a sheepish smile, her hands still frozen in the air. I could not help but smile at her adorable expression. There were times when I found that Belinda was cuter than my own younger sister. While she had been fantasizing about an impossible romance between a certain Goth and I, a teacher's pet, I had been thinking about what she had said initially.

  "You know, Belle," I began slowly, tapping one manicured finger on my purse. "I believe you're right…"

  "Wow," she gaped, moving to stand in front of me and placing a cool hand on my forehead. "Are you really serious about kissing Viper? Because I was just kidding, honest!"

  I had to refrain from rolling my eyes at this point as I slapped her hand aside and walked towards the escalator. "I meant the part about getting a new boyfriend! Don't you realize that I haven't had a boyfriend for a couple of weeks or so now?"

  She nodded thoughtfully, asking curiously, "So do you have anyone in mind?" I shrugged and shook my head, stopping in front of the screen showing the movie timings. Just as we were looking at the available movies, there was a light tap on my shoulder. I turned to see a guy with blonde hair and clear blue eyes. I tilted my head enquiringly. He held out something shyly, giving me a small smile, "I think you dropped this."

  "Oh, thanks
!" I was surprised. It was the 'R' keychain that Rayne had given me on my birthday. I bit back a laugh when I realized what a cliché situation we had met each other in. Belinda chortled and told him in a flat-out manner that he was cute.

  He chuckled and stuck out a hand, "Danny."

  I was about to introduce myself when he went on, "I know. The famous Ice Queens Raylin and Belinda. Now I can brag to everyone that I talked to them both and one of them even called me cute."

  He sounded so nonchalant that I had to laugh. So he wasn't one of those cocky bastards who all thought they were God's gift to women. At this point, Belinda piped up again, sounding suspiciously cheerful, "You know, I think you'll do. Tall and cute, just the way she likes them. Treat my fellow Ice Queen well! Something cropped up at home and um… I've to go! Bye!"

  While Danny stood at the side looking very amused, I grabbed hold of a leaving Belinda's arm.

  "And when did 'something' crop up at home?" She waved her phone at me before it occurred to her that none of us had heard it ring.

  "Well, I have the ability to uh, read people's minds and uh… Telepathy. Yes, that's right. Telepathy with someone at home. Danny, we were supposed to watch a movie and since something cropped up, you have to watch it with her, alright!" She disappeared down the escalator as I stared blankly after her.

  "Do you have a feeling," Danny drawled, sticking his hands into his pockets. "That this just went out of our control?"

  I shrugged once more and decided that I was going to watch a movie whether or not I would be alone. I turned back to the screen, expecting him to leave but there was a warm presence beside me. I looked up into his startlingly blue eyes and raised an eyebrow. He grinned, "Your friend pretty much demanded that I watch a movie with you so I'm not about to defy that order…"