For the next couple of weeks, I would be very busy as I prepared to release my much anticipated new album, Truth is Love. I had videos to shoot for the songs from the album. I had a single to drop, photoshoots to be fabulous for. I had shows and interviews to go on to promote my album. Everyone wanted me to answer questions about the break up, and I was ready for whatever they threw at me. I was seeing everything with new eyes, and had already forgiven Damian. I wasn’t just moving on, I was Moving Strong, which also happened to be the name of the single I planned on dropping; it’s amazing, definitely one for the clubs. Thankfully, Damian had left me alone. A part of me was a little disappointed that he hadn’t fought for me harder, but I knew that was only my ego talking and that I was much better off this way. My heart was still very vulnerable and I didn’t need him tempting me back into a bad situation.
When loneliness crept up on me late in the night, I crept into the studio and recorded more songs. When inspiration evaded me, but loneliness kept me up and miserable, I did some extensive retail therapy by online shopping. I would get the packages expedited and everyday was like Christmas, waking up to packages of gifts that I had bought for myself, my mom, Cassie, and Margaret. Eventually, my mom had a talk with me about all of the spending I was doing. She convinced me that material things would not fill the void in my heart and instead took me to get a puppy. Her name was Victoria and she was a black and brown Yorkshire terrier. She was rescued and we adopted her from a shelter. It was love at first sight. I even wrote a few songs about her, those would not be on the album but I was definitely putting them on my mixtape and would be shooting videos for them as well. Ladies, before you get a man, get yourself a dog! It’s basically the same thing, only dogs are much more loyal.
My mom loved Victoria too. They became the best of friends instantly. We ended up taking another trip to the shelter so that my mom could adopt Victoria’s sister, Madison. We took them shopping and out to eat. They had little play dates and under our care, blossomed into little furry divas. Hunter and I also became close. Sometimes, I got tired of confiding in Victoria and needed stimulating adult conversation. Insomnia proved to be something that Hunter and I had in common. More often than not, I would run into him in the kitchen, both in search of midnight snacks. Hunter quickly became family to us and I even began buying him gifts when I went online shopping as well.
*****
Moving On is Hard to Do
The next few months were a blur, filled with shows, interviews, concerts, video and photo shoots, and events. Thankfully, I had my strong support system with me every step of the way. Damian began dating someone new. Her name was Carmen and she was an actress. She was beautiful and talented and I wished them the best. It stung a little, but I would get over it. I was too focused on my own endeavors to dwell on anything. My late night snack date with Hunter continued, to the point where I expected him, as though it was scheduled. I began preparing for it like it was an actual date. I would take a shower and oil my body. I did my hair in a way that looked cute but messy. I tried to look like I wasn’t trying. I would wear my sexy nightgown that showed off my thick, well-toned thighs and paired with my short, sexy robe. Once I was sure that I looked perfectly ready for bed, I slipped on my furry slippers and headed for the kitchen. As I arrived, I yawned for dramatic effect and then smiled as I wondered if Hunter went to the same great lengths before our meetings, as I did.
He too looked cleaned and oiled to perfection. His long dreadlocks were pulled up and back in a messy golden bun. He wore a pair of satin pajama pants that I had bought him as a gift and nothing else. His strong body let me know that he was putting the home gym to good use. My smile brightened as I finally noticed that there was food ready and waiting on the island counter. I sat down at a stool and clapped with delight. There was a plate with a short stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, sliced horizontally. Besides the sandwiches, was a tall glass of strawberry milk. Hunter looked pleased that I was pleased, as he observed my reaction.
“My favorites! For me?!” I asked. Hunter smiled and nodded. I picked up a sandwich and took a bite. “Mmm, I had been craving pb&j all day! How did you know?” Hunter threw his head back and laughed his deep belly laugh. He looked so sexy when he laughed. Even his neck was strong and his Adams apple looked so… erect.
“You’ve been mentioning it all day,” he reminded me. My mind replayed through the day. At my studio session, I had said that I wanted a pb&j sandwich. In the car on our way to the Fire 55.5 radio station interview, I had said that I wanted one. I had said it after my performance on BET and then a fourth time before I got in the shower. I almost got mad that I had expressed it so much and yet no one had prepared one for me, until now.
“I should fire Cassie’s ass. She clearly doesn’t listen to me,” I muttered. Hunter and I shared a laugh. I took another bite, chewed and swallowed and then washed it down with a swig of strawberry milk. “Why aren’t you eating?” I asked him. He adjusted himself on his stool.
“I’m never hungry after I cook,” he said seriously. I gave him a look and we both laughed. “I’m not hungry.”
“So you’re just going to watch me eat?” I asked. He nodded.
“I like watching you eat. You eat beautifully.” I cocked an eyebrow skeptically. “You really enjoy your food, savoring every bite, every flavor.” I stopped mid bite, suddenly self-conscious about the way I ate.
We were interrupted by a knock at the door. A puzzled expression crossed onto my face.
“Who could that be?” I wondered out loud. Hunter immediately went into guard mode, looking serious as he stood up and peered out the window. Whoever it was, knocked again, more urgently.
“Damian.” Hunter answered me, finally. Damian’s car must be parked outside. I groaned and rolled my eyes, but my pity party was short-lived, as Damian knocked on the door once more. He had always been very impatient. I stood up.
“Do you want me to answer it?” Hunter asked me. I shook my head.
“No, no, I’ll answer it. Just stand by, ok?” Hunter nodded. He followed me as I walked over to the door, standing off to the side, out of sight. I took a deep breath, wrapped my robe tightly around myself before opening the door. “What are you doing here?” I demanded immediately.
“Simone, please, take me back! I can’t live without you!” he sobbed. I wrinkled my nose in disgust as the stench of alcohol hit my nose.
“Have you been drinking?” I asked.
“That’s all I’ve been doing. I’ve been drowning myself in drugs and women to distract myself from thinking about you! Simone, I need you back in my life. I’m lost without you!” he pleaded, down on his knees. I scoffed.
“You were clearly lost with me.” I muttered. “Aren’t you still with Carmen?” I asked.
“Yea, but she’s not you! I need you! I’m in love with you!” he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.
“Well, I’m not in love with you anymore. I’ve moved on. I thought you had too,” I stated bluntly, crossing my arms over my chest. Damian blinked up at me in disbelief.
“No, no, don’t say that. You don’t just stop loving someone like that. It’s only been a few months,” Damian said, standing up.
“Long enough for you to be in a whole new relationship. I see that you still have no respect for your relationships,” I said. Damian began looking suspicious and tried to peer into my house, but I blocked the doorway.
“I was just doing that to get over you,” he said.
“Then why didn’t you break up with her before coming here?” I asked. I could tell that he wasn’t listening to me, but he was listening. Listening to hear if there was someone else in the house with me. He stared over my shoulder into the house behind me, straining his eyes to see if someone lurked in the shadows. I stiffened up, my heart beat quickening. “You need to leave,” I said. I stared at him. The look on his face was slightly frightening.
“Are you seeing someone else? Is he here with you right now?” he dema
nded, looking me up and down, finally taking in my full attire. I tightened my robe around my body.
“That’s none of your business. You’re drunk and you shouldn’t be here,” I said firmly, but Damian wasn’t listening to me. He ignored me as he pushed past me into the house. “Damian!” I exclaimed in protest, but he was inside standing face-to-face with Hunter.
“Who the fuck is this?” he demanded. “You fucking a white guy now?!” Hunter stepped up to him, looking calm, but ready for whatever.
“It’s time for you to leave,” Hunter said calmly.
“Who the fuck are you?! I’ll leave when I’m good and got damn-” but Damian wasn’t able to finish his sentence, before Hunter punched him in the face. It was clean and fast, directly connecting with Damian’s nose, which immediately began to bleed. I gasped and covered my face, stepping backwards, and away from the two men. Damian’s eyes widened as he clutched his face, where blood was leaking everywhere.
“You broke my fucking nose!” Damian screamed, as he tried to lunge at Hunter. In one swift motion, Hunter, clipped Damian, grabbed his flailing arms as he fell, and twisted them behind his back. He pinned Damian to the ground.
“Simone, are you alright?” Cassie called from the hallway. I turned to look at her, standing there in her footie pajamas. She must have been awakened by all of the commotion.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I assured her.
“Do you want me to call the police?” Cassie asked me. I shook my head as stress sank into my shoulders. I was tired of dealing with Damian and all of the drama.
“No, no cops, we’ll just send this drunk fool home in a cab. Cassie, can you please call him an Uber?” I asked her. Cassie frowned.
“I think that you should call the police… what if he hurts the Uber driver?” Cassie asked. I couldn’t help laughing, even though this was no laughing matter. Cassie did have a point.
“No need, he’s unconscious. I’ll drive him,” Hunter said. We both looked back at the two men on the floor. Sure enough, Damian was passed out. I don’t know how, or if Hunter had something to do with it, but relief washed over my body.
“Ok, yea. Thank you Hunter,” I said, clasping my hands together. Hunter nodded and dragged Damian outside. Cassie and I followed him, and watched from my porch, as Hunter put Damian in the backseat of his car and then climbed into the front seat. We stood there watching until he drove off, and then we just looked at each other. The sun was showing signs of its arrival over the horizon.
“You should get some sleep. You have an interview with Ellen DeGeneres in a few hours. I’ll clean up the blood,” Cassie said. I gently squeezed Cassie’s arm.
“Thank you Cassie,” I said. She nodded and squeezed my arm back. We headed back into the house. The whole ordeal was draining and I realized that I was exhausted. I went straight into my room and climbed into my soft warm bed, but just lay there, wide awake, tossing and turning. Although my body was tired, my mind was wide awake.
I lay there replaying the night’s events, over and over again in my head. I soon realized that I was waiting for Hunter to return. My body was on high alert, listening for any sound signaling his arrival. When I heard the front door open, I jumped out of bed and scurried out of my room to meet him at the door. Hunter looked as exhausted as I felt, but he managed a smile anyway. We just stood there, staring at each other for a few moments. I snapped out of it to ask, “So, how did that go… dropping off Damian and whatnot?” Hunter stuck his hands in his pants pockets, my gaze drifted down below his waistline, then snapped back up to see him watching me.
“I drove him to his house, unlocked the door and carried him in, and left him in his living room, before locking up and catching an Uber back here,” Damian told me nonchalantly.
“Thank you, and I want to apologize,” I said, taking a step toward him. “I should have never answered the door.” He shook his head and put up his hand to stop me.
“No need to apologize. I just did what you hired me to do,” he assured me. I nodded. We stood there awkwardly.
“Well thank you, again,” I repeated. “We should probably get some sleep. We’ve got to be up in a few hours,” I told him, but neither of us made a motion to leave. I felt this strange urge to touch him in some way. I put my hand lightly on his forearm as we stared into each other’s eyes. I felt myself growing warm all over under his gaze. I blushed and removed my hand. “Goodnight,” I told him.
“Goodnight Simone.”
We both went our separate ways, to our separate rooms to lay in separate beds, but my mind was on him. I couldn’t sleep and the sun had risen. In a couple hours, I’d have to be up. Soon, Margaret would begin making breakfast. I decided to take a shower and climbed out of bed, heading into my large bathroom. A nice, long, hot shower was just what I needed.
*****
Daddy’s Girl
After my interview with Ellen, I was free for the day and decided to pay my father a visit, alone. No mom, no Cassie, and no Hunter. I drove myself to my father’s house; a white ranch in a rural area that sat on a few acres. I parked in the long gravel driveway and got out of my car, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. It was a beautiful day and in this open area, the sky just seemed to spread out in every direction, unobstructed by buildings or trees. I walked around to the back of the house where, sure enough, my dad was in the garden tending to his vegetables. I smiled at how well I knew my father. My dad, sensing my presence, sat back on his knees and looked up at me, shielding his eyes from the sun with his gloved hands.
“Is that my Sima, come to visit her old man?” He asked, standing up to embrace me. My dad smelled like the earth. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to store the scent forever in my memories.
“Hey Daddy.”
“What brings you all the way out here? Is it my birthday?” He asked jokingly.
“No Daddy, I just missed you and decided to come visit,” I told him. We began walking. There was a large open field behind my dad’s house. It was just empty and open, and I think that’s what I liked so much about it. We just walked aimlessly.
“So what’s up with my baby girl? How’s the starlight treating you?” He asked. I chuckled to myself, thinking about all of the highs and lows that I had experienced over the last few months. “You still with that boy? Donald? Darius?” He asked.
“Damian, and no. We broke up a few months ago,” I informed him.
“Good riddance,” my dad said, nodding approvingly.
“Yea well, he showed up at my house drunk last night,” I told him. My dad stopped walking and frowned.
“Oh?”
“Yea. He barged in, wanting me to take him back, even though he’s already in a whole other relationship! My bodyguard was there and Damian caused a scene. Hunter broke his nose, Damian ended up unconscious and Hunter drove him home,” I explained. My dad watched me quietly, listening intently as I told the story.
“You’re alright though?” He asked, finally.
“Yea.” I nodded. He nodded too.
“Well, that’s all that matters to me. That boy Damian is a fool. He has a lot of growing up to do. You’re better off without him,” my dad said. I nodded in agreement. “When did you hire a bodyguard?”
“A little after Damian and I had broken up, he had showed up at my house, broke some glass and punched a hole in my wall. Mommy suggested that I get a bodyguard and we hired Hunter the next day,” I told him. Again my dad shook his head, searching the clear blue skies for answers, as he stroked his beard.
“Damian come over again, you call the police. You need to get a restraining order. Let these white men deal with his ass,” my dad said, looking at me. I nodded. Maybe I did need to get a restraining order, but I had Hunter now, I didn’t feel like it was necessary. As if reading my mind, my dad continued, “so, how’s your bodyguard, Hunter, you said his name was?”
“Yea, Hunter,” I clarified, my face brightening as I thought about him. “He became a bodyguard after serving
in the military. He told me that he felt a calling to protect after witnessing his mom get murdered by an ex-boyfriend.” My dad stared at me intently.
“You like him?” he asked me directly. I tried to keep a straight face, but could feel my cheeks heating up.
“No,” I lied. My dad raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Maybe, but I don’t want to cross that line. He’s a good guy and good at his job and I don’t want to jeopardize that,” I admitted.
“I, personally, think that you need to take a break and just focus on yourself and your career for a little while,” my dad said. I nodded in agreement. I thought the same, but I couldn’t help how I felt.
“I agree, but I can’t change how I feel,” I told him and then blurted out, “Hunter is white.” My dad looked at me and stroked his beard. I tried to read him, but he looked perplexed.
“You be careful with white men, baby. White people are crazy,” my dad said. I laughed.
“No crazier than black people,” I said. My dad scoffed as if to say that he begged to differ. My dad shoved his hands into the pockets of his overalls.
“How’s your mama?” he asked me. My dad asked me every time I saw him. They were still in love with each other, that much was obvious.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” I asked him. My dad shook his head.
“She still living alone?” he asked.
“Just as old and lonely as you are daddy,” I teased. He chuckled.
“Not too old to whoop some young knuckleheads ass,” he told me. We both laughed.
“No need to go whooping anyone’s ass. That’s what we have Hunter for,” I reminded him.
“So, why didn’t Hunter come with you?’ he asked me. I shrugged.
“I wanted to come visit you by myself,” I told him.
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