Hope runs rampant when I move toward them, excitement clawing its way up my chest. My hand immediately finds the now noticeable bump on my belly, worried about Sweet Pea meeting the rest of his family. Not knowing how much my dream will allow me to see, I try to keep hope at bay.
My feet are quickening their pace as I reach them. Quinn, Sarah, and Naveen are sitting outside, watching baby Gage run all over the place. My heart clenches at the sight; he’s gotten so big. I glance toward the entrance, hoping Azami will make an appearance. After a few moments, there’s no sign of her. I release a long sigh and return to the group in front of me. Their actions are free. Quinn is watching over them, as Gage runs around in all his toddler glory.
I’ve had enough of these dreams to know that this is something that’ll come true. They can’t see me, but this is a premonition. My heart expands. At least I’ll have access to them this way, my gift helping me stay connected to my family.
“Lil?” My name’s spoken quietly, surprise evident.
I turn and find Deagon exiting the cave, his mouth hanging open in shock. “Deagon?” I ask, not sure if I want to believe my eyes. He can see me. Hear me. “Deagon!” I scream and run at him.
Slamming into him, he wraps me in his arms, pulling me tightly against him. “How…” His words trail off.
“I’m okay,” I rush out. “Azami?” The most important question.
“She’s fine. She misses you, but she’s not hurt.” His eyes are wide, staring at me in shock. “We lost a few people, but Azami, Ian, and James are fine.”
A heavy weight lifts from my shoulders, knowing my daughter is all right. Half of my stress releases and I pull him close again. He hugs me back, but then looks down, pointedly at my belly bulge.
“How are you? Are you okay?” he asks, not bothering to look at me, but at my stomach.
My eyes automatically move to the floor, trembling with the knowledge of the Evolved, and what that means for my escape. Seeing him causes an ache that climbs through my entire body. I want to come home so badly.
He interprets my silence incorrectly and curses. “Motherfuckers! I’ll fucking kill them all.” His voice is haunted as he steps away, chest heaving in anger.
I open my mouth to correct him, to let him know I’m unharmed for the most part, but my dream darkens to a haze. The world around us begins to fall apart. First the sky darkens, then the trees and flowers begin to disappear, and Deagon begins to fade. “No.” I panic, trying to hold onto his arms as hard as I can. “Please, don’t leave me.”
His eyes are frantic as he tries to gain purchase, but his hands slip right through me. “It’s your dream,” his voice whispers. “I can’t keep you here. You’re waking up.”
“No!” My heart pounds as I lock eyes with Deagon again, relaying the seriousness of my next words. “Tell them I love them.”
With my last words, our perfect dream world rips away into the darkness that swallows me, twisting me back into reality.
Back into hell.
Chapter 11
Ian
My heart freezes over with the seriousness of his words. Deagon finished night patrol a couple hours ago and went to bed shortly after. At this point, he should be deep in sleep. The grave expression and tiredness in his eyes tells me I’m not going to like what he has to say.
Still panting, I turn to him. “What?” The word is gruff, hard, telling him to get to the point. I’m seconds away from snapping.
“Lil. She was in my dream.” He keeps his gaze locked on mine. There’s something else.
“And?” Keeping my voice even is tricky, leaving me with the one word.
“She’s pregnant.”
I hear his words, but they refuse to process. “I’m sorry, I think I misheard you,” I hear myself mumble.
“I’m sorry, Ian. She’s pregnant.” Instead of stepping up and trying to comfort me, Deagon steps back.
My breathing increases as wild anger envelopes me, pushing a red haze into my vision. It starts as a growl in the back of my throat and grows until I’m roaring. I charge Deagon and swing at him. He’s easily able to dodge me, as I’m still not at a hundred percent. He twists me around and wraps me up until we’re both facing the same direction. I struggle for a moment, but sag in his arms.
He tightens his hold and speaks softly in my ear. “She’s alive.” He lets the word sink in before speaking again. “That’s what we need to focus on. Yes, she’s pregnant, but she’s also alive. She didn’t look hurt. In fact, she looks healthy. We don’t know the circumstances right now.” The thought that the baby may not be mine rips me in two. What’ve they done to her?
“I can’t…” My voice cracks, a fist of pressure squeezing my throat.
“I know, brother, I know.” He holds me for a second, long enough for me to collect myself and man up.
I clear my throat and stand on my own. “Tell me everything.”
Deagon recaps his dream, going over her description several times to placate me. Each time information presents itself, it ends up leaving us with more questions. We’re getting glimpses of her situation, but nothing concrete. The most important thing is that she’s alive. Deagon also presses that she appears healthy, getting plenty to eat. Since the dream cut short, he didn’t have enough time to get a lot of information.
“How far along does she look?” The cold air whips around us, penetrating my skin.
“She’s a small girl, Ian. It’s hard to tell. I only saw her for a moment.” He’s making excuses.
“Deagon! Give it to me straight. I have to prepare myself.” The last sentence is a whisper, a plea to have mercy on me.
“Honestly…” He takes a deep breath. “She’s small, it is hard to tell, but she’s definitely a few months along, maybe more?” A small smile stretches his lips. “She’s big enough to bump my gut with hers when she hugged me. It’s a real good chance the baby’s yours.”
Air eludes my lungs; his words comfort me more than he can imagine. If she looks a few months along, then the bun is probably mine. She told me about her pregnancy with Azami, and that she didn’t get very big with her either. Relief sweeps through me and almost brings me to my knees. “Thank you.”
He nods. “I’m going back to bed. I don’t know how she’s pulling me into her dreams, but I’ll try to contact her.” He slaps my back, leaving me alone with the bomb he just dropped.
I’m not sure how long I’ve stood in the mouth of the cave, absorbing Deagon’s words, but Mason eventually returns, concern apparent on his face when he sees me standing there.
“What’s happened?” he asks right away.
“Let’s get everyone together. We need to talk.”
~~~~~
We gather the group in the main cavern, agreeing that Naveen and Sophie will stay with the kids, and Mason will give them details later. Once the fire’s lit, silence descends as everyone awaits to hear what I’ve got to say.
“All right. I’ve called this meeting to relay more information.” The eyes of all my closest friends lock on me as I retell Deagon’s dream, including the fact that Lil’s pregnant.
Once the words leave my lips, Mason turns red, looking like he’s about to lose his mind. He turns around, places a hand on the wall and growls. “Motherfucker!”
“The baby’s mine,” I state.
“You’re sure?” He stares directly at me, hope in his voice.
I swallow, glancing down. No, I wasn’t sure.
Mason grunts, irritated. He understands without me speaking the truth.
Heavy emotions float within the small space, but guilt is the one that catches my attention. It wafts from Mason daily, disappointed in himself for not finding her. Which is why it surprises me that its coming from James. He doesn’t have a reason to feel guilty.
“What’s going on, James?” If his guilt involves Lil, full transparency is a requirement if we’re going to get her back.
He’s quiet for a moment. “I knew she was pregnant.” He l
ets his words set in. “When we save her in the spring, she had a big belly. I knew. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would upset you.” His words sting, but I understand.
I pull him to me, tucking his head into my neck. “It’s all right. She’s alive. The only thing that matters now is that we get her back.”
He nods into my chest.
“What do we do now?” Jen speaks up. “Mason and the guys haven’t had any luck on their searches. How are we going to find her if we don’t know where to look?” She sniffles, as Michael tucks her against him, kissing her head reassuringly.
“We don’t have control over our extra senses, but it’s the only way we’ve communicated with her. If any one of you dreams of her again, collect all the information you can. Her surroundings, the time of year, what she’s wearing. Everything.” A frustrated breath leaves my lips as I rake my fingers through my hair. “The next time we encounter her, pump her for information. I know we all want to ask her if she’s okay and a slew of other questions, but what we really need are landmarks, identifiers. A way to find her.” Each person around the circle is nodding. Not everyone in the room has an extra sense, but I want to make sure everyone is on the same page. “Good. Now, let’s get today over with.”
Everyone moves slowly, the information weighing them down. I reassure James before I head off to gather Azami, understanding why he didn’t tell me about her condition.
Coming around the corner to the sleeping tunnel, I hear squeals of delight. The sound has an instant smile lifting my lips, pushing out everything else. How Deagon and Quinn can sleep through this is beyond me. Now that Gage is walking around, he’s keeping up with Azami, and they run around like crazy people. The thought has me chuckling, a much-needed reprieve from today’s activities.
Standing in the doorway, I remain silent and watch the two of them run around Naveen and Sophie’s room. Azami is jumping around, causing Gage to squeal and turn in circles, trying to keep up with her. The sight is heart-warming. Soon Azami sees me and launches herself at me.
“Daddy!” She’s in my arms, patting my cheeks within seconds. Her eyebrows scrunch down, trying to read my thoughts. I’m blocking everything except the fact that I love her. We’ll address everything else with her when the time is right.
“Hey, Pumpkin. You having fun?” I pat her back.
“Yes. Gage and I are playing.”
“Dadadada.” Gage walks up and hugs my leg.
I laugh again, bending down to pick him up, balancing a kid on each hip. “Hey, buddy.” He babbles more baby talk to me.
Naveen stands next to me, her cheeks red. “Sorry. He’s been calling everyone Dada lately. It was Deagon this morning and Quinn last night.” She laughs softly.
I hand him over to his mom. “That’s all right. I don’t mind.” I ruffle his hair once he’s in her arms.
“How’d everything go in there?” she asks quietly.
“Not bad. Mason will be over soon to talk to you two.” I hope she understands why I don’t want to rehash the evening.
“I’m taking her down to get some lunch. You two coming?”
“No thanks. I’m going to wait for Mason and then we’ll come down,” Naveen assures.
“Okay. See you soon then. Thanks again for keeping an eye on the monkey.” I tilt Azami upside down as we walk away. She squeals louder and I laugh. “Shh, we’re going to wake up Deagon and Quinn. They were up all night,” I tell her.
She puts her pointer finger to her lips to signal that she’ll be quiet. She doesn’t make another sound until we’re in the kitchen. Sarah’s cooking up a storm, bread littering the table, and smells linger in the air. No matter how many times we offer to cook a meal and give her a break, she refuses. Saying it’s her talent.
Azami wiggles down from me. “Sarah!” She runs over to her, but waits a step away for her to finish what she’s doing.
“Hi, baby!” Sarah greets, just as excited. She places a panful of rolls on the table before moving over to pick her up in a big hug. “Good job waiting for all the hot stuff to be put up before coming over.”
Azami beams with pride. “I remembered what you said before. Hot stuff will cause owies. Don’t touch.” She swipes her hand in the air.
I laugh at her as I grab our soup. “Pumpkin, come and grab a roll for lunch. Let Sarah finish up.”
“Okay!” Azami wiggles down from Sarah. “Love you, Sarah!” she yells as she grabs a roll, coming to sit where I place her bowl.
Sarah’s smile stretches wide as she slips her homemade oven mitts back on, pulling another sheet of breakfast bars out of the oven. Azami and I are two of the first to lunch. Honestly, it’s a way for me to avoid everyone’s pity stares. The thought is lingering under the surface. Is the baby mine? The idea that it’s not slices deep in more ways than one. I couldn’t protect her when she needed me most. The pictures running through my head on a loop of what they’re doing to her are driving me mad.
“Daddy, are you okay?” Azami asks in a mock whisper.
Blinking a couple times, I pull myself from my inner turmoil. “I’m fine, Pumpkin. Eat your food.”
She stares at me for a long time before taking another bite. “You need a new spoon.” She points at my hand.
Glancing down, I see my spoon bent completely in half. My stress is overflowing without my knowledge. I chuckle, trying to throw her off my helpless anger. “I guess I do. Can’t eat soup like this now, can I?” I try to take a bite with my bent spoon to make her laugh.
Her high-pitch giggle rewards my attempt, but I know I fall short when she leans closer, like she has a secret. “I miss her too.”
I watch the seriousness in her features. She’s too attune for her age. I wrap my arm around her, letting all my love for her and her mother flow between us. “I know, baby. Me too.”
~~~~~
It’s been two weeks since Lil’s been in anyone’s dream. Each day is long and strenuous, but my muscles are building, along with my stamina. Mason is still out searching daily, but not having any luck. Each time he comes back empty-handed, another small part of him is chiseling away, same as me.
Today is no different. When I catch him walking in, tossing his gear down by the entrance angrily, I strut over to him. He sees me coming and turns away from me. His emotions are all over the place, and I know he doesn’t want to deal with anyone.
“Mase, can we chat for a sec?” The snow is dissipating and I’m finally in physical shape to start venturing out. We need a plan.
“Yeah?” he grumbles.
“I know I’ve said it many times, but thank you for going out every day for her.” A lump rises in my throat.
His brows scrunch down as he waves his hand, dismissing my words. “Don’t need your thanks. She’s my best friend. I’ll never stop looking for her.” He meets my eyes finally, challenging.
My posture stiffens. “What are you trying to say?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, Mason seems to realize what he’s said. He shakes his head, his hand tightening on the back of his neck. “Nothing, man. I didn’t mean that shit. I’m stressing the fuck out.” A loud breath leaves him as he leans against the wall.
I nod, understanding the position he’s been in the last few months. I move over and lean in next to him. “I’m coming out with you tomorrow. Michael wants me to wait a little longer, but I can’t do that. Not being out there is tearing me to shreds. I cannot physically sit here another moment.”
He senses my seriousness and snags his pack off the floor. “This is what I have so far.” He unfolds a map he’s been adding to over the months. “This is where I’ve searched already but have come up empty. Honestly, I’ve searched everywhere and am no further than I was on day one. I don’t know how far they’ve taken her. Knowing how fast they move, it could be anywhere.” The words weigh heavily on us as we talk.
“You’re sure you didn’t miss anything?” He huffs, pissed that I’m questioning him. “I’m not saying
you didn’t do a good job, but if there are any nooks you missed, my gift might be able to sense her. I’m just wondering if we should continue on where you left off, or go back over this area, a quick walk through just in case.”
Mason doesn’t jump to conclusions this time, but agrees. “Sorry, I’m losing my patience. I’ve tracked countless people and animals, and the one time that it really matters, I can’t find shit.”
I clamp down on his shoulder. “I get it. Believe me, I do. Others help when they can, but you’ve done everything that I couldn’t. Every day you’re out there searching.” I pause, collecting myself. “Now I can help. We’re going to find her, Mase.”
He meets my eyes for the first time. “Yeah, but what if I’m too late? What if…” The overwhelming sadness and grief he’s experiencing wafts over him. The baby. The same emotions are playing within me.
I squeeze his shoulder again, drawing his attention back to me. “You’ve done everything you can. We all have. She’s not going to blame any of us. You know that, right?” Even though the words leave my mouth, they’re only hopes and dreams for myself. How could she not be angry with me for leaving her out there alone?
Mason nods. “I know.” He watches me for a moment. “That goes for both of us, brother. You almost got yourself killed looking for her.”
I brush off the comment. It was my stupidity that kept me out there the first night. It’s a hard place knowing if I had to do it all over again, I’d do the same thing. They were dragging her farther away with every snowflake that fell. Even at my quickest, it wasn’t enough to save her from whatever fate she’s enduring now.
“I’m serious.” Mason grabs both my shoulders, standing in front of me, forcing his words down my throat. “You’re no good to her, Azami, James, or any of us if you’re dead. Now, let’s both calm our asses down and come up with a plan for tomorrow.”
His joking breaks through, causing me to chuckle. “Yeah, okay. Let me help you with your stuff.” I lean down and pick up his pack, tossing it over my shoulder and following him to the main cavern.
EVOLVED Page 10