by LYNN, K. C.
“I love you Jaxson, you will always be my best friend. Promise me you’re not going to leave forever, please!”
“I promise Jules.”
We stand there holding each other when a loud siren goes off and the final boarding call is made.
“I better get moving,” he whispers against my hair.
“Ok,” I hug him tighter.
He chuckles, “Julia, you have to let go of me.”
I inhale a deep breath, breathing him in one more time before I step back. Looking up at him I frame his handsome face with my hands and say one more thing before he can leave, “I’m going to miss you. I want you to remember Jaxson, that this is your home and when you decide to come back know that you will always have someone here waiting for you…”
He clenches his jaw, reining in the emotions that etch deep in his expression. He leans his forehead against mine. “I’ll miss you too Jules, I’ll text you when I get in, alright?”
I only nod since my throat is too tight to speak anymore. He presses a hard kiss to my forehead then picks up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder, and boards the ferry. I stay where I am, watching it start its journey. Jaxson turns around and waves one last time then he walks inside where I can no longer see him.
Feeling lost and alone I turn to walk back to my car and I’m shocked when I see Kayla and Cooper waiting for me at the end of the dock.
Kayla and I start towards each other; I see she’s crying and know it’s for me. When we reach each other we wrap our arms around one another and both cry our hearts out. After our cry-fest I step back, “How did you know I was here?”
“I tried calling you this morning because when Coop got home there was a hole in the wall. I figured things didn’t go well with Jaxson. When you didn’t answer your cell I called the house and Grams told me. I’m so sorry Julia, I shouldn’t have pushed you into telling him.”
I shake my head, “It isn’t your fault. It was my decision and I don’t regret it; I’m glad he knows.” I look at the ferry then back at her, “I miss him so much already.”
We’re hugging and crying again when Cooper comes and wraps his arms around both of us. I’m so thankful they’re here and I’m not alone.
We stand there for few minutes, wrapped in Coop’s arms before he says, “Come on, I’ll take you girls out for breakfast.”
I turn back to the ferry one last time and see it far off in the distance.
“He’ll come back Julia. Trust me,” Coop says as he walks between Kayla and I, wrapping an arm around each of us.
I nod and start walking to what feels like a new life for me, one that doesn’t seem whole, one without Jaxson.
Five years later…
“Can I get you something to drink Miss?” I look up at the flight attendant as she puts her hand tenderly on my shoulder. She’s been very attentive and I’m sure it’s because she can tell I’m a total wreck, even though I’ve been trying to hide it.
“A rum and 7-up please,” I say quietly. Right now anything with alcohol would be welcome to try and calm my rattled nerves.
“Let me know if I can get you anything else,” she smiles kindly.
I shakily make my drink and take a hefty sip, hoping this will calm the fear coursing through me. Laying my head back, I close my eyes and think back to my phone conversation with Kayla that happened less than 10 hours ago.
I had just walked in the door from getting groceries when my cell phone started ringing. Putting the bags on the table I pull my cell out of my purse, smiling at the picture of Kayla and I on the screen. I answer while heading back to the car, “Hey Kayla, can I call you back in a few minutes? I’m just bringing groceries in.”
There’s a few seconds of silence.
“Julia,” Kayla whispers fearfully and I can tell she’s crying. I freeze in my place.
“Kayla? Are you ok? What is it, what’s wrong?”
“I’m so sorry Julia, it’s Jaxson, something’s happened.”
Instantly my legs give out and I drop to my knees in front of my house.
“No!” I whisper brokenly.
“Julia, listen, he’s alive but I think he’s hurt pretty bad,” I can hear the worry in her voice.
“What’s happened? Where is he?”
“I don’t know much and Coop is gonna kill me when he finds out I’m telling you. The only reason I know is because I was with him when he got the phone call last night. He must be Jaxson’s emergency contact. All Coop knew was that Jaxson was on a rescue mission that went bad. He was captured with two others from his team. They were held prisoner and, before you ask, I have no idea where or how long. He’s at a hospital in Germany. It sounded like he was in rough shape but I don’t know how bad it is. Cooper left at six this morning to go see him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but Jaxson wanted this kept from you and I had to make sure Coop was gone before I told you. I think you have a right to know.”
I sit stunned, trying to absorb everything Kayla has just told me. With my heart racing, I place a hand to my stomach feeling like I’m going to be sick.
“I’m going. I need to see him Kayla. I don’t care if he wants me there or not.”
She lets out a heavy breath, “I was afraid you were going to say that. I’ve already looked at flight options for you and there’s one that leaves in 6 hours. Do you think you can make that? The next one isn’t for a few days.”
“Yes. Can you book me please?” I rush into the house and start throwing things in my suitcase.
“I’m booking it as we speak. I’ll be there soon to help you pack then I’ll drive you to the airport.”
I love this girl so much, I don’t know what I would do without her. “Thanks Kayla, for everything. I’ll try to smooth things over with Coop for you when I get there.”
“You’re welcome, and don’t worry about Cooper, I’ll deal with him. He’s gonna be spittin’ mad but he’ll forgive me eventually. You deserve to know.”
After that she gives me my flight info and tells me how much I owe. I wince knowing I’ll have to spend a hefty portion of my savings but I don’t care. Jaxson is worth every penny.
Oh God please let him be ok.
I get pulled back to the present when the elderly gentlemen next to me asks a question.
“Are you going to Germany for business or pleasure sugar?” he winks giving me a flirtatious grin. I try to return a smile but don’t have much luck.
“Neither actually. I’m going to visit a friend who’s in the hospital there.”
He must see the worry on my face because his flirtatious demeanor changes. Looking at me somberly he surprises me when he asks, “A soldier?”
“Close, a Navy Seal. How did you know?”
“I’m an ex-Marine. I’ve had to visit a few of my men in Germany a time or two.” His expression darkens for a moment, “How bad is he? Never mind, that was rude of me to ask.”
“It’s alright. Actually I’m not sure how bad he is. I haven’t talked to him, he doesn’t even know I’m coming.”
He lets out a low whistle then tries to lighten the mood. “If he’s a Seal he must have a pretty big ego,” he chuckles and this time I do smile back.
“Sometimes, but he’s a real good guy, the best I’ve ever known,” I swallow past the lump in my throat.
“This fellow seems like a little more than a friend,” he says questioningly.
“It’s complicated,” I shrug feeling uncomfortable.
“Love can be complicated, I agree with that.”
Not sure what how to respond I nod then lay my head back feeling tired. Talking about Jaxson being in the Navy reminds me of his graduation. I smile as I let myself remember that day.
It was just over 6 months after Jaxson had left. I found out about the graduation only a few days before from Cooper. He said he’d wanted to go but couldn’t leave work.
“Jaxson has a graduation?” I asked in surprise.
“Ya, you didn’t know? It’s this Saturd
ay. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he never mentioned it. I only know because I read his program when he first applied.”
“I can’t believe he never told me. I just spoke to him 2 days ago.”
So with that I booked a flight to leave Saturday morning and decided to stay the night, hoping Jaxson would be able to do something after. I had exams coming up that week but I didn’t care, I would just study on the plane.
I arrived with just enough time to drop my bags off at the hotel, which wasn’t too far from the naval base. On my way to the training center, where the graduation is being held, I look down at my soft purple maxi dress and hope I’m dressed appropriately. I’m not sure how formal this is so I figured this would be a safe bet.
Walking in I see lots of people seated with their cameras, waiting proudly. It makes me sad to think if I hadn’t found out about this no one would have been here for Jaxson.
I decide to sit center middle, I want him to see me but not too easily. Cooper promised me he wouldn’t tell Jaxson I was coming. Hopefully he won’t be mad that I’m surprising him.
A few minutes later the graduates walk in and my breath seizes when I see Jaxson. It’s been six long months since I’ve got to look at him. He looks incredibly sexy in his formal Navy uniform. As he takes his seat I see him laugh at something the guy next to him says and I can’t stop from smiling with him. He looks so at ease and so… himself. My throat starts feeling tight when I realize this is what he was talking about when he said he didn’t fit in back home. The only time I ever saw him like this was when he was with Cooper or I.
A senior officer makes his way to the podium and starts his speech. He congratulates the men on their hard work and the importance of where their lives are going from here. The speech is incredibly moving and it’s very hard not to respect all the men who are seated, waiting to be awarded for their accomplishment.
When he finishes, each of the men are called up one at a time and awarded with a certificate and medal. There are so many cheers and pictures being taken from loved ones that I make sure I have my camera and lungs ready for Jaxson. I notice he hasn’t even looked into the crowd once, knowing that no one will be here for him, which makes me wanna cry. But I promised myself- no crying today. I know how uncomfortable it makes him.
I tune back into the senior officer: “Now before I call out the next name, I want to give special recognition to this new Seal. He is graduating top of this class and he might be one of the strongest men I’ve ever had come into this program. His dedication and hard work impressed, not just myself, but many other Senior Officers and fellow Seals. Every man sitting here has proven themselves but this officer made history by setting record times in his physical and mental training. So with that being said I’d like you all to congratulate Officer Jaxson Reid.”
Oh my god! Everyone claps beside me and the other graduates give a standing ovation. Snapping out of my stunned state I realize I have tears on my cheeks. Well crap, so much for not crying. But I can’t help it, I’m so darn proud of him. Standing up from my chair I cheer as loud as I can. Jaxson tenses then whips his head to the crowd, spotting me immediately. He stares at me, stunned for a moment, and I wave blowing him a kiss. When the shock wears off he shakes his head and gives me one of his sexy smirks. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, feeling relief he’s ok with me being here. I snap a few pictures of him receiving his award. I can tell he’s uncomfortable from the recognition which makes me roll my eyes.
After the speeches and awards are done everyone is with their families, taking pictures while I walk around looking for Jaxson. I lost him in the midst of the crowd.
“Ahh!” I yelp, startled when someone grabs me from behind, pulling me against them. I relax quickly knowing instantly whose hard body I’m up against.
“I guess I’m going to have to kill Cooper,” Jaxson whispers roughly in my ear, “what are you doing here Jules?”
My heart races from feeling his hard body behind me and his breath in my ear. Gawd he feels so good I want to whimper, but of course I don’t. Pulling myself together I spin around in his arms and stare up into his ice blue eyes that I’ve missed looking into every day. The man is too damn sexy for his own good. Finally, when I get my wits about me, I glare at him.
“I think I should kill you Jaxson! How could you not tell me about this?”
I get irritated when he shrugs, “This isn’t a big deal Julia, you have a lot going on with school. You just told me you had exams coming up this week. You should focus on that, not this.”
“Well I disagree, I think this is very important. I would have been heartbroken if I’d missed this and I’m glad I did come. Clearly you’ve been keeping a lot from me.” I was talking about his ‘special recognition’ and he knew it. Then smirking, I add: “But I guess if you don’t want to see me I’ll be on my way then.” I turn to walk away but he pulls me against him again with a growl.
“I never said I wasn’t happy to see you, I’m just saying you didn’t need to go to the trouble to be here.”
My smile fading, I turn and stare up into his handsome face, “It’s no trouble Jaxson, I wanna be here. I’ve really missed you,” I say softly.
“I’ve missed you too Julia. So fucking much.” He wraps me in his embrace and I bury my head in his chest, trying to hide my tears.
“I’m really proud of you Jax.”
“Thanks Jules.”
I can tell I’ve made him uncomfortable. Lightening the mood, I step back and grab the lapels of his uniform flirtatiously: “I must say Officer Reid, you look very handsome in your uniform.”
His voice is low and rough when he says: “And you look fucking beautiful Julia. Sometimes I forget just how beautiful you are.” His intense gaze makes my throat go dry and my heart beat faster. Unfortunately our moment gets interrupted.
“Well, well, well, let me guess- Julia in the flesh. I started to think maybe you weren’t real but looking at you now I can see you’re very real.”
I look to my left and see two very good looking men walking up to Jaxson and I. The one who spoke has a cocky grin and looks me over with blatant appreciation. While the other one has a hard expression on his face, one that’s not all that friendly.
“Come on buddy aren’t you gonna introduce us?” the cocky one asks while slinging his arm around Jaxson.
Glaring at him Jaxson introduces them, “Jules this nosey annoying dick head is Sawyer Evans,” I giggle as he introduces Sawyer, “and the less annoying one is Cade Walker, both are my roommates. We were also grouped together as a team during training with a few others.”
Both men are extremely attractive. Sawyer reminds me a little of a surfer with his shaggy dirty blond hair, green eyes and tanned skin. I realize he’s the one Jaxson was laughing with when they sat down. Where Jaxson and Sawyer are long and lean, Cade is a little bigger, more muscular, but they’re all close in height. His hair is a little shorter and much darker. He looks like he has some Mexican heritage in him with his dark skin color and hazel eyes. I can tell he has a past, his eyes have the same haunted look in them that Jaxson gets sometimes.
“Hi, it’s very nice to meet y’all,” I wave shyly.
Cade just nods whereas Sawyer grabs my hand, “Believe me Jules, the pleasure is mine.” I look at him in shock when he calls me Jules. He’s about to kiss my hand when Jaxson slaps him upside the head and rips my hand from his, glaring at him. Sawyer laughs, “What? I’m just trying to be nice to your Jules.”
I look at Jaxson raising my eyebrow, “Your Jules?”
“Shut up Evans. Never mind, he’s being an idiot.”
Chuckling, Sawyer asks: “We still hitting O’Rileys tonight to celebrate?”
Jaxson looks at me questioningly, “How long are you here for?”
“I leave tomorrow morning.”
Before I can say more he turns to Sawyer, “No, I’m out.”
“No Jaxson, it’s ok, don’t worry about me. Go ahead and
celebrate, really.” Of course I’m only being half truthful, I really want to spend time with him, but he deserves to celebrate with his friends.
“No I’m staying with you,” his tone brooks no further argument.
“Why don’t you just bring Julia man? Come on, obviously now that she’s here we expect you to bring her.” Jaxson shakes his head. “What’s wrong? Worried one of us sexier Seals are gonna steal her away?” Sawyer asks smugly.
I can’t help the small giggle that escapes. I don’t know why Sawyer seems to think Jaxson feels more for me than a friend. If he only knew the truth…
“We can go for a bit if you want. I don’t mind,” I say truthfully. As long as I’m with him I don’t care what we do.
“Fine, we’ll go for a bit.”
Sawyer claps him on the back, “That’s what I’m talking about. See ya in an hour?”
Jaxson agrees, then we’re by ourselves again.
“You sure about this Jules?”
“Yes really, it’s fine.”
“Ok we’ll only go for a bit, then we’ll catch up, just the two us.”
“Perfect,” I can’t stop the big smile that takes over my face especially when he grins back.
We walk into O’Rileys almost an hour later. Sawyer waves us over to a table filled with guys, some with girls on their laps. I start to feel nervous, I’m pretty shy around new people. Jaxson guides me towards the table with his hand on my lower back and I shiver from his touch.
“You cold?”
Oh boy, how humiliating. This is going to be a long night if I don’t get a hold of myself. I shake my head, too embarrassed to speak.
“Well hi again Julia!” Sawyer says slinging an arm over me when I sit beside him, of course Jaxson quickly throws it off.
“Knock it off Evans. I mean it, you’re pissing me off!”