She grasped the front of his buckskin shirt. “And what if you don’t make it back?”
They sat quietly rocking in each other’s arms for a moment. “If that should happen, if I don’t show up within three or four weeks, you’ll pay the sergeant his investment and you’ll either go on to El Paso or go back East, but only when the stage is running regularly again and it looks like the raiding has stopped.”
“I don’t have enough money to pay him.”
“I have plenty of money. I’m a rich man, remember?” He tousled her hair. “I’ll give you enough to pay him plus have enough extra to get you out of there.”
“I couldn’t take money from you.”
“Why not? You said you loved me—” He grasped her arms and leaned her back, meeting her eyes. “And I love you,” he said softly. “I don’t think I actually said it yet.” He leaned closer and kissed her, lightly, gently. “I’d just be doing something for the woman I love, and I’d rest easier once I leave the fort, knowing you’d be taken care of no matter what happens.”
Her eyes teared more. “Please don’t go, Wade.”
He pulled her close again. “I have to. It might seem unnecessary, but it’s something that has bothered me all my life, Jenny. I hope you can bring yourself to understand. Living the white man’s way all my life doesn’t erase what I am. I have this need to know about that part of me. I’ve come this far, and I can’t stop now.”
“Not even for me?”
He turned her face up to his. “I’ll be a happier man, more at peace with myself this way—which will be better for you if and when we end up together. And even if I didn’t go out there looking for my family, the fact remains we still have to behave the way I said when the soldiers come. If we try running away, they’ll find us and accuse me of abducting you. I’d be hanged on the spot, and God knows what they’d do to you. It’s better this way, Jenny. You lie low and do like I said. You’ve got to be convincing. Even when I’m finished with my own business, I can’t just come to the fort and carry you off. You’ve got to do what I said and just tell the sergeant you’ve changed your mind—pay him off and be on your way. Somehow I’ll get a message to you where to meet me.”
She closed her eyes and hugged him. “It scares me, Wade.”
He smiled through tears. “You’re braver than you think. You’ve already proven that, Jenny. That’s partly what I love about you.” He rubbed a hand over her back. “I can’t help thinking I’m not being fair to you. My head tells me to forget all of this and leave you at the fort to do what you came here to do; but wrong as it probably is, my heart tells me different. I can’t bear the thought of leaving you at the fort and never seeing you again. Most of all I can’t stand the thought of some other man touching you.”
His lips caressed her hair, her cheek, came again to her mouth in a kiss sweet with passion and desire. He pulled away then, putting a hand to her cheek. “From here on we can’t do this, Jenny, not in the bright daylight. We’re wide open here. Soldiers with binoculars could spot us a mile away. I don’t want to take the chance of being caught holding each other.”
“I wouldn’t care—”
He put his fingers to her lips. “Remember what I told you. Promise me, Jenny.”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “I promise.”
He reluctantly let go of her, moving away from her. “We’d better eat something and get going. We lost a day’s travel yesterday.”
“I could stay out here with you forever.”
He grinned. “You’d tire of putting up with the dangers and the elements soon enough, let alone what this land can do to a pretty young woman’s skin. Much as I hate to face what’s ahead, we’ve got no choice. We might as well resign ourselves to it right now.”
He dug through his supplies to see what food was left, feeling crazy with the need of her, wondering how he was going to get through the night knowing she was willing, that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. It didn’t seem right to steal what was most valuable to her—not this way—not now. She was too special.
And yet what more was there than to love the woman? Where was the wrong when they had found something special, and when this might be all they would ever have together? He wondered when he had become such a weak fool. He had always prided himself on his strength and determination, his ability to hold back and do what was proper in any situation. But no woman had come along to make him feel this warm and alive and loved in years—not since Rebecca. He knew Jenny was the kind of woman his father would approve of, someone who didn’t see others through the eyes of prejudice, but saw a man for his worth alone. His father would like that.
Jennifer watched him, loving everything about him, thinking that there couldn’t possibly be another man to match his looks or his strength or his skills. She would have him for her own, no matter what it took. He had said he could not touch her again, not in the daylight. But what about tonight? She wondered if he was thinking the same thing—how would they get through the night? Once they reached the fort, he would go away, perhaps never to return. Could she let him go without letting him be the man who made a woman of her? How could it be anyone else? And how could it be wrong when she loved him so much and intended to be with him forever, if he wanted the same thing, and she was sure he did.
They both moved as though in a trance, hardly aware of cleaning up and eating. He tied her onto the travois, then leaned down to kiss her lightly before mounting the Indian pony and setting out. She watched the campsite until it was out of sight, thinking how that place would always be special to her, even though she would never see it again. She had found something here in Texas, something she had never planned to find.
She felt a little sorry for Sergeant Enders, but, after all, he didn’t even know her, and he would get his money back. He was the one who had said in his ad that there was no obligation except the refund of his expenses.
“Sir, you’ve got to let me search for that coach,” Enders begged Captain Howell. “It’s two days overdue now. Please, sir, I’ve got to know what happened. She could be a captive.”
Howell rubbed at bloodshot eyes, his head aching from too much bourbon last night, and from lost sleep over his own wife, who he was almost certain had found a new love back in Ohio.
“Believe me, Enders, no woman is worth risking your life for. They just turn around and spit in your face.” The man rose and paced. “I’m sorry. I’ve got my own problems. We’re supposed to be out here to protect the settlers and travelers, and I can understand your concern.” He sighed deeply, walking to look out a window. “If Washington would let us handle the Indians the right way, we wouldn’t have these problems, would we?”
“Does that mean I can take out a patrol?”
Howell turned to look at him. “Fifteen men—no more. That’s all we can spare. You have four days—tops.”
“Yes, sir. Four days. Thank you, sir.”
Enders hurried out and began rounding up men and supplies, barking orders impatiently. His frustration knew no bounds. By all rights he should have had a woman in his bed the last two nights, and every part of him ached for it. Now the preacher was gone again and wouldn’t be back for another thirty days. If he did find his bride-to-be, how was he going to keep himself from satisfying his needs until the preacher returned? He wondered just how “proper” she really was. Maybe, if he handled her just right, they wouldn’t have need of a preacher, except to make things legal. He could care less about what was legal and what wasn’t. He only knew Miss Jennifer Andrews had teased his desires long enough.
Chapter Fourteen
The day grew more windy as the travois on which Jennifer lay was dragged across the hardened earth, bouncing over patches of curly mesquite and buffalo grass. The land seemed so desolate, Jennifer could not imagine why anyone would want to come here and try to farm and settle. She could not even imagine why the Indians stayed, fighting and risking their lives to keep this place for themselves.
Th
e land stretched out in a huge, flat plateau, with mountains bordering the western edge, mountains that seemed to just hang in the air, always the same distance away in spite of the fact that for four days they had been heading west. Jennifer was beginning to understand distance in this land, realizing certain things she saw were much farther away than she first imagined.
“Those mountains are a good fifty miles off,” Wade had told her earlier, “maybe more.”
It seemed incredible. Back East there were few places where one could see more than a mile ahead, with hills and thick woods creating barriers a person didn’t find here in west Texas. No one back home could have prepared her for this land of wide horizons and little water, thorny plants and air so dry that whenever she blew her nose it bled. She could not have conceived of such country in her wildest imagination.
By afternoon the wind grew worse, kicking up a cruel, stinging sand. She felt sorry for Wade, who plodded on until the wind grew to a near roar, and the dust was so thick a person could see only a few feet ahead. Jennifer knew it was a little easier for her, since she lay with her back to the wind. She covered her face with a blanket and could barely discern words Wade shouted back to her then.
“I’m going…reach…ridge up ahead. Looks like…”
She couldn’t hear the rest. She simply trusted him to do what was best, and her heart ached for him as he headed the Indian pony into the blinding sand. She soon sensed that they were climbing. It was close to an hour later that there came a sudden relief from the horrible, blowing dirt, although Jennifer could still hear the wind howling. The travois stopped moving, and she took the blanket from her face to breathe clean, cooler air.
She slowly sat up, throwing off her blanket and shaking sand from it. She wore the gray dress. Wade decided she had better put it on again, since soldiers could come along at any time. “Wade, where are we?”
He dismounted, taking off a wide-brimmed, leather hat he had put on to help protect his eyes and hair. He brushed dirt from his clothes. His face was caked with it, little lighter-colored lines showing at the creases near his eyes, where dirt had not been able to penetrate while he squinted against the wind.
He grinned. “I’ll bet I’m a sight.” He looked around as Jennifer laughed lightly. “I was hoping I could get here. When the wind first kicked up I had a feeling a sandstorm was coming, so I looked for possible shelter and headed straight for it. I saw another plateau, kind of a shelf of land with a ridge of limestone along its wall. Most walls like that have several cave-like holes in them. I finally spotted this one, but I wasn’t sure I’d still be able to find it once the sand got so thick I couldn’t see ahead any more. I just kept coming in this direction.”
Jennifer realized he had dragged the travois into a cave-like cutout in rock. She looked past the opening at the dark blizzard outside. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
Wade began unloading their gear. “I have, more times than I can remember. I can see now that west Texas isn’t much different from Arizona or New Mexico. Back East you have your snow blizzards. Here we have dirt blizzards.” He unloaded the spotted Indian horse. “We might as well settle here for the night. It’s already late afternoon, and it looks like that wind is going to blow pretty good for a while longer.”
Jennifer lay back against the travois. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a bath.”
“You and me both. Actually it’s mostly our faces and hair that need washing. All the water we have left is in three canteens, and in this country you don’t waste water. Something could happen to prevent us from getting to the fort as soon as we think we will—like this sandstorm and that infection you had. You never know when you’ll need every last drop of water just to stay alive.”
“You mean I can’t even wash my face?”
He grinned. “Sometimes these limestone ledges collect and drip water. I’m going to see if I can locate any leaks.” He grabbed a leather waterbag from his gear, its contents gone due to bathing Jennifer’s fever and infection. He headed toward the entrance of the cave-like hole when a figure loomed there, bringing a gasp from Jennifer. Wade was as startled as she. He threw down the leather pouch and grabbed for his rifle, but the figure raised his arms, displaying no weapons, but rather two leather pouches that looked full of water.
“Wade,” Jennifer exclaimed, her eyes wide with fear when she realized the figure was an Indian man. Beneath the dirt that caked his face, she could see that it was painted. His hair hung loose and long, and his body was nearly naked except for a loincloth and apron.
“Just stay put,” Wade answered, taking his hand away from his rifle. The figure came closer, and he handed out the water to Wade, who took it cautiously.
“Strong spirit,” the Indian man told him in the Comanche tongue. “You come soon to Wild Horse.” He moved his eyes and waved his arm to indicate a northwest direction. “White man call it Comanche Hills. Wild Horse says you come.”
Wade glanced at Jennifer, who had no idea what was being said. He set down the water bags and used his own limited Comanche along with sign language to indicate he first had to take the woman to Fort Stockton. The Indian frowned, then nodded.
“You take woman. Do not tell soldiers about Wild Horse. You come alone.”
Wade nodded. “You have my promise.”
The Indian looked him over as though almost afraid of him.
“Thank you,” Wade told him then. “For the horse, and the water. Why are you doing this?”
“You are strong spirit—shadow of Wild Horse. He must see for himself.” The man abruptly turned and disappeared into the blinding dust storm. Wade hurried to the cave entrance but could see nothing.
“Wade, what did he want?” Jennifer asked.
He turned, looking grave. “For some reason they’re still helping us. I knew someone was close. I could feel it, but I couldn’t see him. I don’t know how he found us in this storm, or where he got that water, but I think he’s the same one who left the horse for us.”
“What did he say to you?”
He met her eyes, coming closer and kneeling beside her. “He said Wild Horse wants to meet with me, at a place called Comanche Hills. He said I am a shadow of Wild Horse, and that Wild Horse wants to see for himself.”
She put a hand on his arm. “Wade, what do you think it all means?”
He frowned, rising again, walking back to the cave entrance, standing there silently for several seconds. “My white father and mother tell me I could have been a twin,” he said reflectively. “The Comanche kill twin babies. They think they’re a bad omen, something like that. My pa says my mother might have abandoned one baby in order to keep at least one. Maybe she was alone when she had them and she never told the others there was a twin.”
He turned to face her, confusion and a strange longing in his eyes. “Jenny, the man said I was a shadow of Wild Horse. When they saw me the day of the raid, they all stepped back like they were frightened of me, and they called me Wild Horse. The only sense I can make of that is that he could be my own brother, sorry as I am to think it. They say Wild Horse is a half-breed, with blue eyes. I’d like to think it’s all just a coincidence, but when that Indian said I was a shadow of Wild Horse, and that Wild Horse needed to see me for himself—” He closed his eyes. “Good God,” he said, his voice a near whisper. “It’s as though I’m being led through all this by some power I can’t even understand. I never thought I’d come across something like this.”
Her heart raced with fear for him. “If he is your brother, what would that mean for you? Wade, if they kill twins, then you could be risking your life by going to Wild Horse. Maybe the man wants you dead.”
He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Jenny, I have to know.” He looked at her then, his eyes bloodshot from the storm, but also showing a mixture of joy and dread. “I hope you can understand that.”
Her eyes teared. “I think I can. I want to understand, Wade, but I don’t want to lose you.”
He came b
ack over to her, kneeling down and picking up one of the water bags. “At least now we can wash,” he told her. He met her eyes, both of them feeling the urgency and danger of both their situations. “Jenny, I don’t want the soldiers to know what I’m up to, if at all possible. It’s possible some of them have seen Wild Horse, and if I look so much like him, there’s going to be some real confusion when we’re first found. I might have to explain why I’m out here in the first place. However it goes, I don’t want them to know where Wild Horse is hiding out, understand? I promised that Indian I would come alone, as soon as I get you to the fort. I promised I wouldn’t bring any soldiers.”
She nodded. “I won’t say anything.”
“I might just tell them I’m going to the reservation farther north to see what I can find out. I don’t want to mention Comanche Hills.” He turned away, retrieving a pan from his gear. “Here,” he said, pouring some water into it. “I’ll find some soap and a towel. I don’t know if there are any clean ones left.”
“Right now anything will do,” she answered, grateful for the water, in spite of how she felt about the wilder Comanche. Seeing the one who had just appeared at the cave like a ghost had brought back the ugly memories of the day of the raid, the way they had cruelly tossed her around and had shot her and meant to scalp and probably rape her. Why? Now that she knew and loved Wade Morrow, she wished even more that she could understand.
It was then that a new worry moved through her. Was it possible that if Wade did go to his people and found a brother there, the Indian in him would take over? Was it possible he could want to stay with them, ride with them? Did they have any kind of special power that could influence Wade to turn to his Comanche side?
She watched him as he unwound a beaded leather strip that had held his hair in one tail at the neck. He shook out the long, dark, straight hair, then removed his shirt, revealing dark skin and a muscular torso. Yes, he was very Indian. But he was surely much too educated and refined to join his wilder relatives. After all, he had never lived that way, and he had a white family that he loved waiting for him, as well as a freighting empire of which he stood to inherit a one-third share.
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