“Time to put the gin away,” Julia said to Adrian.
“Pour me another one, will ya, sweetheart?” David said to Julia, and so Julia went to the refrigerator and brought him a tall glass full of ice and seltzer, which David pushed away.
“Tell us, Flaco,” Adrian said, sitting down across from him, “What would you have done differently? Do you really regret spending four years studying botany? Meeting new and interesting people in college? Securing a good job?”
“Oh, c’mon, you’ve had many a day in the sun,” Taina chimed in.
David raised a fist like an activist as he spoke. “I should have climbed freakin’ Everest! I was afraid of getting myself killed! HA! I shoulda gone bungee jumping, I shoulda parachuted from airplanes! I shoulda had seven wives and twenty kids! I shoulda taken my parents to Hawaii!”
“You didn’t even want one wife,” Julia said coolly.
“You can still take your parents to Hawaii,” Holly soothed, stroking David’s shoulders. “Let’s go.”
“I can’t afford it now,” he wined. “I need to hold on to my cash for experimental drugs not covered by insurgents.”
“Insurance.”
“See? I can’t even talk right. I’m David-who’s-dying-of-cancer-David!” He was slurring his words, but his rant was the most he’d spoken the entire time they’d been on the island. He turned to Erick, as if to fill him in. “See. There’s this dude that follows me around everywhere I go, his name’s cancer. He talks for me, you know? Before I even open my mouth cancer shakes people’s hands and takes over. It’s like that movie, Twins, the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger as the good twin and Danny DeVito as the evil twin? The cancer is Danny DeVito—mean, bossy, big-mouthed, impossible to live with. Only not funny like Danny DeVito. Not funny at all.”
Erick shrugged. “Then don’t compare him to Danny DeVito. I love Danny DeVito.”
Julia rolled her eyes and pointed at David with her thumb. “Never in six years has he ever mentioned going to Hawaii.”
“Did too,” David said, holding up a finger. “Once.” He burped loudly.
“Do you want to go somewhere David?” Holly said. “Because if you do, tell us. Maybe we can make it happen.”
“Yeah, you know, like Make-a-Wish Foundation,” Ray said. “Wanna go to Disney, David? I’d definitely do that with you.”
Adrian groaned. David had his head down on the table, over his folded arms. “I hate Disney,” he mumbled.
“Is there any ‘naturey’ thing you’d like to see?” Holly persisted. “Or have you seen it all?”
“I’m not going camping in Alaska,” Julia said. “Just letting you all know.”
“He hasn’t seen anything,” Adrian said. They all turned to look. David lifted his head. “He’s never seen full-wattage bioluminescence.”
David’s eyes sparkled for just a second or two. “I’ve been to La Parguera. It’s pretty cool.”
Adrian shook his head. “La Parguera? Dead as a doornail.”
“Huh?”
“Another victim of tourism. The motor fuel from the boats polluted the water and the ecosystem no longer works.” He pointed to the lamp on the side of the house. “And there’s tons of light pollution, so what little bioluminescence there is you can’t even see.” Adrian took a sip of wine and spoke in a slow, low voice. He looked at the women first. “Vieques is an island off the coast of Puerto Rico. It’s the most undeveloped, pristine place in the entire Caribbean because access was restricted by the U.S. Navy. The Navy left in 2003 and now it’s a nature preserve and home to the best bio-bay in the world. But Vieques learned a lesson from La Parguera. They guard Mosquito Bay like it’s full of holy water. No motorboats are allowed, and they don’t even let you use insect repellent when you go in the water. The water has these microscopic organisms in it that suck up sunlight like solar batteries. They release the light when provoked by motion. You go out at night, in kayaks, and everything that moves glows and sparkles, the waves, the fish below, and if you swim in it, you literally glow. Dip your hand in the water, and it sparkles like tiny fireworks as it rolls down your body. It’s almost a religious experience. It’s insane.”
David’s mouth was hanging open as he listened. Then he blinked and said, “Dude. You never told me about this.”
Adrian shrugged. “I thought you were only into hiking.”
David sat upright, slammed his hand on the table, which sent the salt shaker flying. “I have to see that. Right now.”
“What about Hawaii?” Julia said. “Can I go with your parents to Hawaii?”
“We’ll do that too, babe,” David said, pointing at her. “And then we’ll have twenty kids.” Julia balled up her napkin and threw it at him. He blocked it and it bounced back at her.
Holly yawned, stood up, and stretched. “Sounds like a plan,” she said as her joints cracked loudly and they all got up and called it a night. For the first time in eight days, Julia didn’t put David to bed. She asked Ray to do it. She passed his room on her way up, after she went through the house turning off all the lights. From the hallway, she could hear the two of them laughing and she guessed, by Ray’s sudden shrieks, that David was modeling her Uncle Charles’s secret collection of mustaches and toupees.
In her bedroom, Julia lit a candle, a no-no, but even she broke the house rules now and then. Humming softly, she bathed in the claw-foot tub, in warm saltwater. She was a little drunk, but not necessarily on alcohol. She couldn’t stop thinking about Adrian. She had left her bedroom door unlocked. She could barely admit it to herself, but she very much wanted Adrian to sneak in. He never would do such a thing of course, but the fantasy occupied her mind from the moment she went upstairs. As she scrubbed her skin with a washcloth, she imagined a vinyl disc falling. A crackly recording of “Only You” playing softly. Adrian stepping into in the claw-foot tub with her. Outside the window, she could hear the sound of waves bashing into rocks and being shredded into ribbons of silver that tumbled back to sea.
As if the fantasy had shifted from her imagination to reality, she heard footsteps outside her door. She watched the jewel-shaped glass door handle of the bathroom turn in the dim light. Her heart quickened. She sank lower into her bath, until she tasted the saltiness of the seawater.
It wasn’t Adrian, it was David. He stopped at the door, then took a step forward and stood over her. Julia’s arms flew over her bare chest.
“I should’ve married you while I had the chance,” he whispered. She was about to protest, but he put his hands up. “Don’t. I just wanted to see you like this one last time, because I couldn’t remember, Julia.” He pointed at his temple. “What you look like naked. It’s like someone stole it from me.” But he was looking at her eyes, not her body. He seemed clear-headed and lucid, and his eyes were shiny with emotion. So Julia let her arms fall back for a moment. Then she stood up and let him see. Slowly, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself.
“I wasn’t beer-goggling,” he whispered, “when I said that you’re beautiful.” Then he turned around and left, closing the door behind him. Julia stared at the glass door handle for what seemed like an eternity, until she felt cold.
Julia had trouble sleeping that night. In the early morning hours, a door slammed. She closed her eyes and hoped that it would all dissolve back into sweet oblivion. Her stomach was acidic and generally offended after so many days of continuous consumption of rich foods and alcohol. Truth be told, entertaining on the island was exhausting and the logistics were a nightmare. As much as guests pitched in, it was the hostess who had to stay on top of the meal planning and making sure everyone was comfortable. She was so ready for the gathering to be over. It had been a success, overall. The DNA test results were in, and her mother had agreed to pass them on to the water taxi operator after she got home from work, that way they could know the results before they left. Then Julia would have to clean the place, wash all the bedding and towels. The whole job would take more than two days to complete
and she couldn’t rely on David. She sunk deeper into the pillow, tired at the very thought of it, but it was useless. She was awake. She got up and wandered the house, making a mental checklist of everything that had to be done. In the boiler room, the laundry baskets were overstuffed, and she could smell the gasoline-soaked tampon trash from the bin just outside the door. The tide was low and the whole house stunk of seaweed. She remembered that David had drunk too much the night before. In the hall she ran into Ray, who assured her that he would take care of David, so she went back up to her room to read.
Chapter 37
David
It’s Saturday, the second-to-the-last day. I’ve decided that I’m never gonna drink alcohol ever, ever again. I’m resting my head on the edge of the toilet. As if being sick isn’t bad enough, I now have this indelible emotional connection between nausea and chemotherapy, so what follows is a profound kind of sorrow over the fact that I chose to do this to myself. There’s a special kind of shame waiting for me inside the toilet bowl, in the water that reflects back this image of myself, miserable and barfing. A lot of last night is fuzzy, but how can I forget the moment I asked Julia to marry me? Or that it turned into a sloppy, pathetic joke? I behaved like a jealous drunk. Now I’m hungover, exhausted, and I’ve never felt more ashamed of myself. I go back to bed, partly to rest, partly to forget.
Not long after, I am forcibly ejected from the bliss of sleep. Ray is at my bedside, insisting that I sit up. There is a dusty thudding in my head. Even the pale rectangle of light that surrounds the shaded window does me harm. My mouth tastes like a small animal crawled inside and died. Ray makes me chew a chalky antacid tablet, which makes my stomach rise up and push against my throat. I lay back down, as the whole scene beats like a pulse before me, and Ray puts a cold, damp cloth on my forehead. “Been there, done that, got the t-shirt,” he intones, as he pulls a light blanket over my shoulders. I thank him and go back to sleep. When I wake up, hours later, the glass of water is full and there’s a plate of saltines at my bedside. I’m still hungover, but much improved. A tiny thread of optimism bubbles up, and then burst when I look at the clock. Two o’clock in the afternoon, and I haven’t seen or heard from Julia. I eat the saltines, drink the water, and go back to sleep.
When I finally make it downstairs, it’s four o’clock and I’m famished. I look around for my family. Holly and Ray are out on the dock with the boys. Erick and Taina have kitchen duty today; Erick is peeling potatoes and Taina is peeling peaches. Even in my self-absorbed misery, I can’t help but notice the copper bags under Taina’s eyes. I’m too trashed to do anything but utter the basics: “Where’s Julia?” Erick points behind him and tells me that Julia is in the parlor with Adrian. “They have this game where she teaches him something about American history through Griswold memorabilia,” Erick says. “Turns out Adrian is interested in history. Sounds like they’re having a ball in there.” He turns to look at Taina. “I hated history class. You?” Taina sticks out her tongue, points a finger into her mouth, and makes a gagging noise. Which reminds me that I need to get some food into my stomach, so I toast some bread and think, would it have killed Julia to bring me some tea and ask how I’m feeling?
I peek my head into the parlor, where Adrian and Julia are sitting on the floor, books open on their laps. Elvis’s “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” is playing on the Victrola. They don’t see me standing here in the doorway, watching them. Instead, my eyes meet those of the human skull on the bookshelf, which reminds me suddenly of my MRI films. It’s depressing to think that that was a real person, and that his head ended up as a bookend at a beach house. Suddenly, everything about the Griswold house repulses me. The presence of the dead is no longer subtle; it is overpowering. I feel a wave of nausea at the thought that maybe the dead had been preparing me all along.
“What the hell!” Julia shouts all of a sudden. She stands up, but with a great deal of effort, still holding the heavy copy of The Griswolds of New Haven County. She points. Adrian leans over to take a look. She looks up with a stunned expression on her face.
“What?” I step into the room and they see me.
“Someone ripped out a page,” says Adrian.
I go to Julia’s side to inspect the book, and sure enough, a page has been ripped clean. I peek at the cover. “This is the newest one,” I say.
“It’s the page that has my birth,” says Julia. “Someone ripped it out . . . like in the last few days.”
I feel terrible that the book has been damaged, but at the same time, I’m secretly glad for this distraction, because I’m still dragging around the heavy, stinking awkwardness of the previous night like the pelt of a freshly killed moose. It takes the focus off of my shame.
Erick and Taina appear in the doorway. Erick is giving Taina a strange look, and Taina looks kind of panicked. She points out the window. “I think I saw a kid running around with it.” Adrian and I turn and look out the window, at the partial view of the boys fishing off the dock outside with their mother.
“Are you kidding me?” Erick jerks his head back. “I watch them like a hawk. That’s impossible.”
“Maybe it happened while you were jogging in Stony Creek,” Taina says with a shrug. She is wearing her sunglasses pulled up over her head, and she reaches up and pulls them down to cover her eyes.
“Holly was watching them the one time I went into town,” Erick replies. “And she wouldn’t let them wander the house unsupervised.”
Taina smiles and folds her hands in front of her. “Uh . . . Holly left them with David,” she says, flashing a tight, sassy smile. “She went kayaking.”
“We were outside the whole time,” I assure Erick, putting my hands up. “Don’t get pissed at Holly, okay? It was just for a little while.” Adrian, Julia, and I share a conspiratorial look, but Taina can’t help herself: “Yeah, teaching them to make little gasoline bombs.”
“Come again?” Erick looks hard to the side. I know that look; it’s all too familiar.
“She’s just kidding,” Adrian says, making a cutting motion across his throat. “And of course the boys didn’t rip the book. Why would the kids pick the page that documents Julia’s birth? How would they even know?” He puts a hand on Erick’s shoulder. “Relax.” He looks back and mumbles, “Tai, why the hell would you throw the kids under the bus?”
Erick points at Taina. “You did it, didn’t you?”
“Ha ha.” Taina feigns laughter. “Very funny.”
“You’re jealous of Julia. So you ripped her out of the history books.”
“Jealous?” Adrian says.
Taina puts her hands on her hips and warns Erick to stay out of it, to which Erick replies, “I would’ve kept my mouth shut if you hadn’t chosen to accuse my children,” he says. “I won’t have it.”
“Alright,” Adrian says wearily. “We’re all tired, but Tai hasn’t slept much in the last three days. She’s extremely sleep-deprived. Let’s just calm down.”
“Hold on,” Julia says, stepping forward. “Let me just get this straight. Erick thinks that Taina did it.” She turns to Taina. “Did you?”
Taina squints, turns her head to the side, and snaps, “That’s insulting.”
Julia gets a strange look on her face. “Why are you wearing sunglasses inside the house?”
“Taina, put your hand on David’s starfish tattoo and say you didn’t do it,” says Erick.
Taina scoffs, “It’s not like it’s the Bible.”
“Enough,” Adrian says. “We’ll find the missing page, and I’ll tape it back. I’m sure it was an accident.”
“You’re right, Erick. The tattoo is our Bible,” I say, suddenly understanding the power in the symbol, given the timing.
“The DNA test results will be here,” Julia says and looks at her watch, “in about twenty minutes, so if you want to make a statement of faith, do it right now.”
I hold my hand out. Taina doesn’t move. She sighs, lowers her eyes, and says, “Okay, I did it.�
�
I swallow hard. “But why? By accident?”
She raises her sunglasses and looks into my eyes. “Because of Adrian and Julia.” She nods in their direction without looking at them. “I had a feeling that they were falling in love with each other, and it enraged me because I knew that you . . .” With her right hand, she tugs at the ring finger of her other hand. “You were gonna ask her to marry you. Which you did, and well . . . look what a disaster that was.”
Adrian withdraws his arm from around Taina and throws me a glance. “Jesus, Taina, why would you bring that up?”
“Now wait a minute,” Erick interjects. “That’s only half the story. Don’t you get it, Adrian? Taina’s been in love with you for years.” He takes a step back with downcast eyes. “There. I said it. Cat’s out of the bag.” He holds his hands out in a surrendering gesture and turns to Taina. “Maybe I’m throwing Holly under the bus here, but you should know that she tells me everything.” He turns and walks out, but in his haste to leave the room, Erick’s shoulder bumps the edge of a picture frame. The picture falls off the wall and the glass smashes on the ground. The thumping in my head picks up an extra beat. I make my hands into fists. I close my eyes and suddenly I remember going into Julia’s bathroom last night. I recall what I said. How she let me see her naked, out of pity. I remembered the look on her face when I asked her to marry me. How she laughed and said, “The answer is a big, fat, hairy ‘no.’ ” I remember how she glowed, how bewitched she looked when Adrian was singing like he was singing to her, which, I suddenly realize—he was. I want to kill him.
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