I’m not sure I would have liked that idea very much if she had just come out and said it in the first place, but it wasn’t the same as taking him off life support. It did feel a lot like giving up hope on him, but it wasn’t the same as killing him. So now that I knew what she really meant, I didn’t feel as desperate.
I just kept thinking: if we could only keep him alive, I’d keep hoping for all of us. I had more than enough hope to go around and I didn’t like when they talked so negatively about his prospects, even if logically I knew that they were being a lot more realistic than I was.
I just wanted to do everything possible to keep him with us. But the nursing home wasn’t cheap, either, and Medicare would only pay for it if our household made under a certain amount of money…which we would, if I moved out.
Well, that was fine. I wasn’t really living there anymore anyway. And maybe…I shook my head. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Willow. I had no idea yet if Darien would want me to stay long term. As more than Ariel’s nanny.
I pulled up to the gate, entered in the code, and guided the Lamborghini into the garage. Darien’s car wasn’t in here, and I was both disappointed and relieved at the same time.
And that was the other thing that was on my mind. Darien and I had had sex, and it was phenomenal. I mean, I didn’t know human beings could feel things like that, and Darien seemed to be really good at what he did.
And I was in love with him.
Some people would probably say that it was natural to think you were in love with your first lover, that a woman had to say that to herself to justify sleeping with him in the first place. I knew all those arguments, and in this case, they were bullshit. I had no problem sleeping with someone I cared about or was attracted to— until last night I had been a virgin because I just hadn’t been that passionate about anyone.
But Darien was not only gorgeous, he was kind and generous and protective and intense. That horrible bitch wanted to use those qualities against him, but I wouldn’t do that to him. I would not let that happen.
I got out of the car and headed inside.
Chapter 23 – Willow
I probably should have been doing a lot of things, but I was in my room lying on my bed staring at the ceiling.
I had called around to some nursing homes, and for skilled care like Sam would need: it was going to be expensive. But if Darien let me stay on as Ariel’s nanny, I would be able to pay it. If I also kept dancing, I could even put some money away for the day when Darien didn’t want me anymore and Ariel didn’t need a nanny.
That thought was depressing, so I rolled over, and there was Darien, standing in my doorway. He looked delicious, like he’d come from the pages of a calendar featuring hot young professionals. His jacket was off, his tie loosened, his sleeves rolled halfway up his forearms, and his hands were jammed in his pockets.
“Hi,” I said softly.
“Hi.” He cleared his throat. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m sorry for the way I ran out of here this morning.”
He sauntered in, never taking his eyes off my face. “Don’t worry about that. I was just concerned. I want to help you.”
I rolled onto my back, and he sat on the edge of the bed by my legs. “I know you want to help,” I said. “That’s the kind of person you are. But I─fuck.” I blew out a breath. “I like you, Darien. I liked you before we slept together. And I love Ariel. And you pay me a really good salary. So I just can’t.”
He looked at me levelly but didn’t say anything. Damn it. This was hard.
“I mean,” I continued, hoping I was getting anything across at all, because his face sure wasn’t showing it if I was, “what kind of friendship would we have if I kept taking money from you?”
“You’ve never taken money from me.” His voice was clipped, and he sounded kind of confused and exasperated. It was adorable.
“Exactly!” I sat up. I had to get the importance of this point across. “I’m not going to be one of those people who use you that way. And, well, I hope you understand what I mean by this, but my problems—you know, Sam and the hospital bills and all—those are mine to take care of. Yeah, my parents, too, but not something you can just fix for me.”
I paused and waited for him to say something. Anything. But he wasn’t saying anything. Fuck, I had messed this all up. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Look,” I said. “What is the difference between me and your bitch of an ex-wife?”
He took a deep breath and his fist clenched on his thigh. I must have touched a nerve there.
“You. Love. Ariel.” It came out almost as a growl, and if I hadn’t already known it, I would have known then that nothing mattered to him more than Ariel.
“Yes!” It came out of me like a sob. “I love her so much! What else? I mean, you would like me more than her even if you didn’t have Ariel, right?”
God, I hoped so.
He chuckled darkly. “Hell yes. You are independent. You aren’t trying to get something from me.” He held up a hand. “Okay, yes, I see what you’re saying. I do.”
“But it’s not just you, Darien. What if─” I searched around for an appropriate metaphor. “What if Morgan came in here and told you that you were doing everything wrong with Ariel, and told you that you needed her to fix it for you?”
“I’d have her thrown out on her ass.”
“Because….”
He sighed, nodded. “Because I can damn well take care of my own family, thank you very much.”
“Right.” I touched his shoulder. His firm, solid shoulder. He carried too much on those muscular shoulders. “I don’t need to be saved, Darien. I just need a chance to make it work on my own.”
“Willow?” He turned and kissed the hand on his shoulder. “I do like you. I care about you. I want to kiss you.”
I laughed. I thought I had gotten through to him, but I guessed that time would tell. “Okay.”
Before I could blink he had pushed me back against the pillows and was ravaging my mouth with his. His hot, hard body was pressing me down, heavy, and his erection was pushing against my pelvis. I arched against it, my clit already starting to hum with arousal.
He tore his mouth from mine to kiss down my neck. His teeth scraped my skin and I shivered. He moved down to my collar bone, tongue and teeth and lips sucking and licking and biting. Zero to sixty in just a few seconds, and I was just along for the ride.
One big hand lifted my shirt and shoved my bra up, and he took one nipple in my mouth like he was starving, he practically sucked the whole breast in, then lifted his head to lick all around my tit with his tongue, and all I could do was thrust against him, getting all the friction I could for my burning clit. I could come just like this, and I would if he kept it up.
Suddenly he scrambled off me, and was unbuckling his belt. I don’t know where his pants even went, but as I blinked, trying to catch up, he was standing there with his Italian shirt hanging open, showing that muscular chest and the six-pack abs, and holding that enormous cock in his hand, stroking it, cupping the ball sac, showing it off and arousing himself.
I soaked my panties. I felt the cream squeeze out of my pussy, getting it ready to be fucked by that monster tool.
He motioned with his finger for me to come closer. “Come here.” I scooted forward on the bed, unsure of what he was asking. “Suck my cock. I want you to lick it the same way I sucked your nipples. Tell me how bad you want it.”
“Oh fuck. S-so fucking bad,” I stuttered.
I slid off the bed and dropped to my knees, crawling to that cock that hung proudly between his muscular thighs. I held onto his legs for support and lowered my mouth onto his slick salty shaft. I closed my eyes and moaned. This might be as good as having this cock inside my pussy.
Darien bucked forward when I started to suck. “Say it. Say you want me. Tell me you’ll stay.”
His hand pressed down on the back of my head, making me take m
ore of his dick down my throat. The sounds, the gurgling I made against him made me wetter by the second. I had to wrap both my hands around him, and everything was wet with my saliva and his pre-cum.
Having him fill my mouth like this… it was so dirty, but it turned me on. I could taste his skin, clean but musky, and feel each vein, each dip and ridge, with my tongue and lips, and I teased it with my tongue as best I knew how before sucking the cum out of him. He grabbed my head and came into my mouth, thick cum dropping out of my mouth and down my chin and neck.
But he was still stiff as hell.
I popped my head off of his cock.
“I— I want you. I’ll stay. Please, I can’t wait anymore!” I
stayed on my knees, but started stripping off my shirt, bra, and finally standing to pull my jeans off.
His eyes burned as he watched me lay back on the bed with my legs open for me. Cum dripped off his cock as he crawled over me, readying himself.
“Now you’re mine.”
He plunged his cock into my pussy, and I cried out. Yeah, I was still sore from last night, but he stretched me so hard and so full that I couldn’t hold it in.
Even through the heat of his lust, he was powerful enough to fight it and be gentle. But I didn’t want it to be gentle this time.
I cried out as he sank all the way down inside me.
It dawned on me that we weren’t wearing protection…for the second time. But I couldn’t stop, I had to have him, I had to keep fucking him, keep that cock ramming into my pussy
“Fuck, you fit like a tight glove,” he hissed, holding my wrists above my head. He put his weight down on them, making me sink down into the bed, giving his cock more leeway to go deeper.
“Darien!”
We were close. I didn’t want this to end.
“I’m going to come inside you,” he growled.
“Yes! I’m coming, yes!” I shouted, my legs wrapping around him.
Darien’s warm seed flooded inside me. I could feel the force of it so strong. I kept thrusting against him and I came too, the muscles of my pussy milking every drop of his cum, the root of his cock pushing against my clit.
Darien fell down beside me, releasing my wrists.
We lay there, sweaty, panting, catching our breath, coming down from the intensity of coming together. Finally he rolled over, but I whimpered when he pulled out of my body.
He stroked my hair and my skin, softly, absently, as I curled against his chest.
“Willow?”
“Hmmm…”
“We have to talk about a few things.”
“Can’t.”
He shifted, and even with my eyes closed, I could tell he was looking down at me.
“We can’t?”
“Mm-mm. Mind clouded by ecstasy. Can’t think straight yet.”
He chuckled softly. “I know what you mean. But we’ll have to get Ariel from school soon.” He squeezed me closer to him.
I loved this. I knew it couldn’t last forever, but I felt like we were a family, and he and I were together as much as he and Ariel. Just a man and a woman, snuggling in bed, talking about parenting tasks…it was pure fantasy, but what harm could it do for me to pretend a little?
“Okay,” I said, pulling back slightly and squinting up at him. “Let’s talk.”
He hesitated. “See, Ariel’s mother and I are supposed to remain separate without dating other people for two years until the court grants a divorce. It’s an archaic rule and I know that she has not followed it, but until you came along, I had followed the rule, just sort of by default.”
“Uh oh,” I muttered. “Why do I feel like I know where this is going?”
“Hear me out,” he said grimly. “I haven’t slept with anyone for over two years until you. After being with her, I didn’t really want to complicate my life with another woman. And if I got a physical urge, I just took care of it myself.”
“Okay…”
“I’m so close, Willow,” he said. “She won’t get custody, and we’re weeks away from finalizing the divorce. But I won’t give you up. I have feelings for you, Willow. You’re mine.”
He said this last part fiercely, grasping me to him.
You’re mine? God. Is there possibly some hope for us?
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him. “So, you’re saying that us having sex is jeopardizing your chances of getting custody of Ariel?”
“Well…”
“Shit.” I flopped back down onto his chest. “I knew this was too good to last.”
“That’s what I’m saying,” he insisted. “I’m not going to do that. It’s a dumb rule anyway, and she’s not even sticking to it, so why should I?”
I shook my head. “You know why. As great as this is─ and believe me, I do mean great─ the one thing more important than this is Ariel. So─” I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe I was about to say this “─we just put this on hold for a few weeks, until the divorce is final. Right?”
“No.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I said, rolling over to kiss him one more time. “Now let’s get dressed and go get our girl.”
Chapter 24 – Willow
It was now three weeks since we’d had sex. Darien still made sure I was comfortable and fed, he put gas in the car and left a credit card for me to shop with.
He put me as Ariel’s emergency contact at school, and put my name on her HIPAA forms at the doctor’s office in case I needed to take her there. And we’d had a few late night, tension-filled conversations, where our mouths spouted pleasantries about our day and our nerve endings screamed for us to touch each other.
We didn’t, but I knew it wasn’t any easier for him than it was for me. He started leaving for work earlier, leaving me to drop Ariel at school—which I never minded, of course. And he’d come home later, missing dinner, but always in time to tuck Ariel into bed. I knew why—he was trying to avoid temptation, and I guess it worked, because nothing physical went on between us that whole time.
Not that I’d been in the mood for it, really. Recently I’d been sick as hell. Nauseous, moody, and achy. My period was supposed to be here by now, but when I noticed I was gaining some suspicious weight, I ran to the store to get a pregnancy test.
The next morning, right after my regularly scheduled vomit session, I peed on the stick and waited for those sixty seconds to pass.
It was a long wait, but the results finally began to fade in.
Two lines.
“This can’t be,” I whispered to myself, covering my mouth with my trembling hand. I bent over the toilet to empty out this morning’s breakfast and looked at the stick. “Oh, God, what will I tell Darien?”
It was no mistake. It was right. I had all the symptoms.
God, we had only done it that one time. Well, those two times, but I felt like it had happened the very first time, though I guess there was no way to know.
I had to think of something.
Darien knocked on the door. I could tell it was him from the authority in his knocks. They were strong and vibrated off the door.
“Willow, do you want me to drop Ariel off at school this morning?”
I dragged myself over to the door and placed my face near the seam of it. “That’d be great,” I said weakly. “I’m not feeling very well.”
“Are you okay?” he asked. “I can take you to a doctor.”
“No, I’m fine.” I draped my arm over my belly.
His kid was growing inside me. That was all.
I had no idea how I could tell him. Not with everything going on in his own life. I felt like such an idiot, even though I knew it took two to… tango.
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks.”
“Bye, Willow!” Ariel called through the door. “I hope you feel better soon.” Her bubbly voice cheered me up.
“Thanks, Ariel.”
I waited for them to leave before I tip-toed downstairs to get some food. No
wonder I had awful cravings recently. I was honestly shocked I hadn’t figured this out a bit sooner.
Opening the refrigerator, my appetite pointed to the orange juice. I grabbed it and took out a glass from the cabinet to the side. I inhaled it down as soon as the rim touched my lips.
“God, this orange juice tastes good.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” A familiar voice said from around the corner.
“Who’s there?”
Then she came around. Morgan.
“Hello, dear. Look at you. All at home while Darien is out with our daughter.”
“His daughter,” I corrected.
“Snappy little bitch, aren’t you?”
She must have just helped herself into the house after they left. She was just waiting to pounce.
She ran a finger on the marble island of Darien’s kitchen and stared at it with a coy smile. I moved over to where the knives were kept and took one out.
Shring.
That noise was warning enough.
“A knife?” She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “What’re you going to do with that?”
“Cut you if you step any closer to me.” I jabbed the knife up, showing her I meant business.
“I don’t need to touch you to hurt you. Not at all. You see, I gave Darien time. Lots of time, but he still resists. He won’t get rid of you, you little whore.” She inched around the island. I backed up in sync.
“Stay away from me, I’m calling the police—” I said, reaching for my phone.
“You don’t want to do that. There’s a good reason why.”
Morgan took out her phone and swiped around on it. “See, I have this video…” She flashed the screen at me. I didn’t get a clear look at it, but I could hear the sounds coming from the speaker. “Darien was never that tight about security, until he met you. I still had access to the cameras, and he forgot to take the camera out of your room once you moved in.”
She stopped the video and placed her phone back into her purse. Morgan’s dark makeup made her look just as evil as she acted. Ariel looked nothing like her.
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