“I was faithful, stupidly so.”
“Nothing stupid about that. You did what was right for you. You can’t focus on what someone else is doing. All you have control over is what you’re doing.”
For the first time, Joyce saw him in a different light. “I didn’t know you were so wise.”
“That’s because you won’t take the time to get to know me. Maybe if you did, you’d see. I make a good friend. I make good conversation. I also make good love.” He flashed a wicked smile.
“Go on, somewhere,” she chuckled.
He stood up and wiggled his hips. It was a sad sight that made her laugh as he said, “I still got a little motion in my ocean. You wanna roll on my pole?”
“You are a disgusting old man,” she said, giggling like a schoolgirl.
He relaxed and his wicked smile turned warm. “I’m just messing with you. I try to get with a woman as fine as you, and my heart would give out ’fore you got my boxers down. I’m just happy to see you smiling. You really do have a beautiful smile. You should try using it more often.”
He winked, then walked out of the room.
For once in her life, Lauren wasn’t concerned about the next man, the next date, the next come-up. She was completely and utterly happy being a one-man woman.
That’s why she almost didn’t answer her cell phone when it blared and Craig’s name flashed on her screen.
“Hello?” she said, deciding to go ahead and answer so she could make a few things clear. Then she was going to do as Matthew had done, press DELETE.
“Hey, sweetness,” he said. “How are you?”
“Who is this?” She plopped down on her bed. She’d only been home a few minutes, to get some more clothes since she’d been at Matthew’s place all week.
“So it’s like that now? You forgot who I am?” He sounded offended.
Craig’s impeccable, athletic body flashed through her mind, but she quickly brushed it aside. She let out an aggravated groan. “What do you want, Craig?”
“Oh, so you do know who it is.”
“What. Do. You. Want?” she repeated.
“I miss you.”
“You need to miss me. Miss me with all this foolishness you’re talking.”
He laughed. “I see you haven’t lost that attitude. You know that turns me on.”
“Craig, what can I do for you?” Lauren huffed. “Would you like to pick up that jewelry for your wife?”
He chuckled, like that was an in joke. “You know, that was smooth how you deflected my wife. I mean, I was telling my boy how you were the perfect mistress.”
She used to take pride in those words. Now they made her cringe. The love of one good man had made her realize how bad it had been settling for that title.
“Let me explain something to you. Who I am and who I was are two different people,” she began.
“Aww, dang, so Iyanla fixed yo’ life or something?” He chuckled again.
“You can joke all you want, but I don’t roll like that anymore.” The fact that he was so flippant pissed her off.
“Meet me at the Marriott. I bet I can get you to change your mind.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I won’t be meeting you today or any day. Your wife is crazy.”
“Don’t worry about her. I got her in check.”
Boy, was this getting old. “Okay, Craig, let me see if I can break this down to your jock-understanding level. What we had was fun. I enjoyed it, but it’s over. You need to focus on your wife and your kids, and I’ll focus on my soon-to-be husband.”
That turned on the light. “Oh, so you’re about to be married?”
She immediately regretted telling him that. The last thing she needed was him causing any problems.
“I’m out the game, okay. Can we leave it at that?”
His cockiness returned. “Oh, so it’s cool for you to be all up in other folks’ marriages, but you wanna get all righteous when it comes to your own?”
“Whatever, Craig. I have found my happily ever after. So I’m good. That’s all I’m saying.”
“You people with these rose-colored views of marriage crack me up,” he said cynically. “Tell you what, hang on to my number, babe. I give you two years of marriage. Tops. But the first time you catch him creeping, you’ll call me back.”
That caused a sick feeling in her gut.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re one of those who thinks he won’t cheat,” Craig said when she didn’t say anything. “I don’t know a man that doesn’t.”
“Say what you want, Craig. There are some men that are faithful.”
“And I heard there was a blue unicorn in the mountains of Maine, but no one has seen it yet.” He laughed like he’d really said something side-splitting.
“You’re so not funny,” she snapped. “It is possible for a man to be faithful.”
“Have you met one yet? Your daddy? Your grandfather. Uncles? Friends? Stop me when I name one.”
The fact that she couldn’t stop him made the phone tremble in her hand. Was she being naïve to think Matthew would be faithful? When they were together before, as far as she knew, he never cheated. But they were kids.
As if he was reading her mind, Craig said, “Even the ones you think are faithful aren’t. The male species wasn’t meant to be monogamous. That’s the bottom line.”
Her father had uttered those exact same words. But Lauren refused to let the demons of her past ruin her future.
“Well, I’ll take my chances,” she said breezily. She didn’t want to let him know that he’d rattled her. “Bye, Craig. Have a nice life.” She slammed the phone down, hoping it was a stamp of closure on the past.
It felt so good to be in love. Really in love. Lauren would never be a fool in love like her mother was, but she definitely could see how someone could be fooled by love.
She watched Matthew watch the game, then snuggled in closer. This had to be what Heaven felt like. Lauren had forgotten what happiness felt like. She didn’t realize how much she had resigned herself to playing second fiddle. How she’d convinced herself that the happiness she was feeling right now didn’t exist.
But now that she was letting go and loving, she’d never felt more at peace.
She and Matthew had spent every spare moment of the last three weeks together. She’d accompanied him to formal dinners, receptions, important meetings, and networking events as he tried to solidify his nomination. He’d been there for her jewelry showcase, to comfort her with her family issues, and just to show her how to have fun. That’s not to mention his unconventional sides—pottery class, wine, and painting, and of course the mind-blowing sex. Better than it had been in college. Yes, this was perfection personified.
Because Matthew’s house was bigger than Lauren’s condo, she had ended up spending most of her time at his place.
“I need to go home and wash some clothes,” Lauren said, pulling herself up from the bed, where they’d been lounging all morning, watching old movies.
“Why can’t you do laundry here?” he asked.
“Uh, because my clothes are at home.”
“I think that’s part of the problem.”
She waited on him to crack a smile. When he didn’t, she said, “Come again?”
“When is your lease up?”
She’d complained to him about her landlord and shared her desire to buy her own place. “At the end of next month. Why?”
“Because I don’t think you should re-sign it.”
“And where am I supposed to live?”
“Here.”
“Boy, bye,” she said.
“I’m serious.”
She shifted on the bed, pulled out a flap of pillow lodged under her shoulder blade. “Matthew, we get along so great because I can go home and you can go home.”
“Okay, but—”
“Plus, we’ve only been back together a few weeks.”
He leaned over so his head was lying on her stomach. “But
we have history. So technically, we’ve already been together two years and three weeks.”
“Matthew, I’m not moving in with you.”
“Don’t write the idea off totally. Think about it. Matter of fact, come here and let me convince you,” he said, pulling her down to him.
His passionate kisses were interrupted by his ringing cell phone. Lauren snuggled his neck as he reached over to answer it. Lauren continued to kiss his chest as he said, “Hello?”
He sat up. “Oh, hey, Ingrid.”
“Ingrid?” Lauren said, frowning as she stopped midkiss. Lauren sat up in the bed next to him.
“I’m so sorry about canceling on you. I honestly meant to call you back . . . No, I completely get how you think that’s foul, and truthfully, it is. I should’ve talked to you. But it’s just been crazy. Between work and . . .”
Lauren folded her arms. He was going to disrespect her and talk to this woman in front of her?
“You are completely right,” Matthew continued. “I should’ve followed up and returned your call.”
Lauren got up to leave, but he grabbed her hand to stop her as he continued talking. “I didn’t call because I got back together with my girlfriend.” He kept his eyes on Lauren as he spoke.
Lauren could hear Ingrid’s voice through the phone. She definitely didn’t sound happy.
“Yes . . . Thanks for being understanding . . . No, I think this is going to last awhile . . .” He smiled at Lauren. “You take care of yourself.”
He pressed END on the phone and tossed it back on the nightstand. “Sorry about that. Had some unfinished business. No, wait.” He retrieved the phone, then tapped the screen, before turning it to face Lauren. Matthew had pulled up Ingrid’s name in his contacts list.
He scrolled down to the button that said DELETE THIS CONTACT. He then pressed the button, causing her info to disappear. “Now it’s finished,” he said as he tossed the phone on the bed and pulled Lauren toward him. “It’s just you and me.”
She contemplated resisting, but that sign of fidelity had touched her and she fell into his embrace. Lauren thought about her own cell phone. She needed to do a lot of deleting herself.
Lauren didn’t realize that she had dozed off. She woke up to see Matthew watching the local news. The anchor was delivering some story about a scandal at another area college.
“Doggone shame. Such a talented guy brought down by his libido,” Matthew said.
“Who is that and what happened?” Lauren asked as she yawned. She wasn’t really interested but wanted to discuss things that interested Matthew.
“The president of North Carolina AI is in the middle of a major scandal. Apparently, two of his employees have accused him of sexual harassment. I don’t know why people think they’re invincible,” Matthew said, shaking his head. “What’s done in the dark always comes to light.”
That observation made Lauren cringe. God knows she’d done dirt she hoped would forever stay buried. But her days of wallowing in the dark were over, so hopefully, she was good.
After the report, Matthew turned the TV off, then turned his total attention on Lauren.
“What?” she asked.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she replied. If felt good to say those words with no trepidation.
“Marry me,” he said.
“What?”
“I know I should give you some elaborate proposal, but I can’t wait. I need you in my life. Permanently.”
Lauren could feel goose bumps springing up all over. “Matthew, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes. Wouldn’t you like to be the first lady of a prestigious university?”
“First lady? Really?” She laughed.
“I’m for real. Colleges are serious about the president’s wife.”
She studied him to see if he was playing. She was shocked to see he wasn’t. “Okay, I think the whole first lady thing is cute and all, but marriage? We just got back together.”
“I don’t need to spend years dating someone I’ve already dated for years.” He scooted closer to Lauren and took her hands. “It’s looking good for me with this job, and I’d love to start this new chapter of my life with you. I don’t have a ring, but first thing in the morning, we can go see Luigi Zheriwoski.”
Lauren was surprised Matthew even knew who the famous jeweler was. “Yeah, right. He doesn’t take new clients. Luigi books up two to three years in advance.” It was her biggest dream to work with him, but she wasn’t yet on his level.
Matthew handed her a card. “For some people he does.”
Being a designer herself, Lauren had occasionally dreamed of the perfect ring, but she always thought it was just that—a dream.
The thought that she could have a ring designed by Luigi Zheriwoski sent her insides into a tailspin. “Lauren, we have a history, so this didn’t just come out of nowhere. I prayed for the right woman, and God answered my prayers by sending you back into my life. I want—no, correction—I need you to be my wife. Lauren Robinson, will you please marry me?”
“I-I . . .”
“One day you’ll fall in love so hard, marry a man, and he’ll cheat on you and break your heart. Then maybe you’ll understand my pain.”
Lauren pushed back the familiar refrain. This man wasn’t her father.
“Well?”
She wrestled with the huge tidal wave of her past. That didn’t matter anymore, did it? This was Matthew, not anybody else. Finally she found the strength to say, “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you,” as she threw her arms around his neck.
All Lauren’s excitement dissipated at the sight of her friend standing at her front door, puffy-eyed and upset.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Vivian stepped to the side and let Lauren in. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again,” she said somberly.
Lauren had made a beeline to Vivian’s to share the news of her engagement. She hadn’t expected to walk into this. Vivian sat down on the sofa. Balled-up tissues were strewn all over the sofa and floor. Lauren had texted after she’d done a jewelry drop-off and asked if she could swing by. Vivian had just replied, okay, but she’d never said anything about crying for hours.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Lauren said, taking a seat across from her.
“My son is gone,” Vivian cried. “He’s really gone.”
“Oh, wow. So they moved?”
She nodded. “My ex has taken my son to Seattle. I didn’t even get to say good-bye. My evil ex talking about ‘that would’ve just made it harder.’ ” She let out a loud sob. Lauren moved closer to pat her back. “My baby isn’t going to know who I am in a year.”
“Don’t say that,” Lauren said. “He’ll always know his mother.”
“My ex already tries to turn him against me. The distance won’t help.”
Lauren wasn’t good at comforting, but she felt like she should do something to make Vivian feel better. “Well, you’ll be able to go back and forth to Seattle and see him,” she said, trying to find some light.
“Not if my ex has his way. You don’t understand. He’s powerful. He has money. I have nothing. I’ve tried to understand how I ended up here, but I just can’t. I just can’t.” She was rambling through her tears.
“What happened? You know, to get you to this point?”
“The crazy part is, he cheated on me, but I’m the one who ended up with the short end of the stick.”
“I don’t understand that. How did he get custody of your son?” Lauren asked.
“I told you, he has money. Money trumps everything else! They tried to paint me as unfit. All I ever did was love that man and love my son, and he cheated, but I’m unfit?”
“Okay, don’t get worked up,” Lauren said, patting her leg.
Vivian dabbed her eyes. “I need a drink.”
“I’ll get something,” Lauren said, grateful for a reason to escape. This was truly an awful problem without any hope of a solutio
n. “What do you have in there?” she asked as she headed toward her kitchen.
“There is some Hennessy in the cabinet.”
Cognac? Yep, Vivian was in a pretty bad place.
Lauren found a glass and poured Vivian a drink. She passed on fixing a glass for herself since she was planning to cut her visit short.
“Look, I’ve been sitting here crying all day. What’s up?” Vivian said after Lauren handed her the glass. “You said you wanted to tell me something.”
Lauren tried to restrain the smile creeping up on her face. She didn’t want to appear too ecstatic. “I’m getting married.”
“What?” Vivian sat up.
“Yep, ever since I did like you said and let my guard down with Matthew, we’ve picked up where we left off, but with an intensity that’s out of this world. I don’t know if he planned it or not, but out of the blue he asked me to be his wife.”
Vivian stared at her, her face emotionless. Lauren guessed her own sadness was keeping her from being happy.
“Wow,” she finally said. “You just get it all, don’t you?”
“What?” Lauren said, losing her smile. “I don’t have it all. I’m just lucky.”
“That’s my point. You stay lucky.” She took a swig of her drink. “You get the happily ever after.” She shook her head like she didn’t want to discuss it anymore. “Well, congrats to you.”
The flat way she said this left Lauren feeling deflated. “Well, thanks. I think.”
Vivian sighed. “I’m not trying to steal your joy. My son leaving is just really painful for me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I’m sorry about everything with your son, but I’m sure it’ll all work out.” Lauren really was trying to be optimistic. But she could tell from the look on her friend’s face, Vivian believed she’d never see her son again.
Today was going to be a bad day. Joyce felt it in her spirit. She felt it in the fact that she woke up in a fog.
She’d dreamed about Vernon last night. She’d dreamed of that day they first met, outside the diner. Only, in her dream she went her way and he went his. He told her he was engaged and she left him alone.
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