I hardly hear him ask me as my head is buried in his chest. Looking up at him, I say, “I’m pregnant, Chase, I took a test yesterday. It must have happened the week I had the flu. I’m so sorry.” I sob as I tell him.
Laying my head back on his chest, I cry some more and there is no stopping the tears now. He is rubbing my back up and down, trying to console me. I feel myself being lifted as he picks me up and leads us toward my bedroom. The soft feel of the comforter hits my back as he lays us down. I still can’t look at him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. This is the last thing he needs to worry about right now.
“Angie, baby, look at me.”
I lift my head and look up at him. He takes the pads of his thumbs and starts to wipe my tears away. Looking into his eyes, I can see love and, if I’m not mistaken, joy.
“There is no reason for you to be sorry. I told you if this happened I would be here for you. I would never go back on my word. Knowing that I have to deploy, and I’m going to miss everything really sucks, but I won’t leave you. I promise with everything I have that I’ll make this work. You two are my number one priority. Angie, baby, I love you. I have loved you since the first night we met. Now that our love has created this new life, I will be here one hundred percent.”
Holy shit, he loves me. Words can’t express what is going on in my mind right now. I have waited for the day for a man to love me like Chase does. When he tells me he loves me I believe him. I know he isn’t lying or just pulling me along for the ride.
“I love you too, God do I. I didn’t know how you felt and was scared to tell you before. You have become my world, Chase, and now we have this baby coming, and I’m scared shitless. What am I going to do while you’re gone? Oh God, what if you don’t make it home? I can’t imagine my life without you, and having our child grow up without a daddy.” I can feel my breathing getting heavier. This isn’t good, I’m about to have a panic attack.
“Calm down, baby, just breathe.” He rubs my back in a soothing gesture, and slowly but surely my breathing becomes slower. “There ya go. Everything is going to be fine. I meant what I said. We have a tough road ahead of us, but I have faith we can do this.”
Despite my mind going about a hundred miles a minute, I have no words left. I believe him when he tells me he’ll be here for me, I don’t know why I do, I just do. This isn’t going to be easy to do on my own with him gone, but I think this baby was given to me to help deal with him deploying. I can still feel the tears slowly sliding down my face and onto his shirt. I never knew I could cry this much.
I finally begin to relax with him rubbing my back. I wake up some time later to a dark house, with Chase next to me. Crawling out of bed, I make my way over to the bathroom so I can brush my teeth and change my clothes. When I return to the room Chase is propped up on his elbow, waiting for me.
“You okay, baby?”
Getting in next to him, I turn on my side to face him. “Not really, but I will be.” I lean in to give him a kiss.
Our kiss intensifies as his hand travels up my arm and around my neck, pulling me closer to him. In no time at all he has me flat on my back. My hands automatically go to his back while my legs wrap around his waist. I’m going to miss all of this—his kisses, his company, the way he holds me. Life isn’t fair sometimes, but we just have to suck it up and roll with the punches, and right now I’m going to just enjoy what time we have left.
His hand runs down my side to get under my shirt. He slowly trails his fingertips over my hips and ribs, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps and making me tremble with a simple touch. He grabs my breast and tweaks my nipple, making it tight.
“Chase.” I moan into his ear.
He traces the shell of my ear with his tongue and then works his way down my neck to my cleavage. Sitting back up on his knees he brings me with him to remove my shirt, he lays me back down and continues his assault on my breasts.
“God, I am going to miss this.”
I run my hands up and down his back, feeling his muscles twitch with every move he makes. His hands run over my stomach and make their way under my thong.
“Touch me, Chase,” I plead, hoping he speeds this up.
“Just relax, I want this slow tonight,” he says, looking up into my eyes.
I feel his hand reach my center and start to rub. Yes! This is what I wanted, his hands on me in every possible way. The pressure of his fingers sliding into me is almost more than I can take. I dig my nails into his back and he pushes deeper into me. It won’t take long for me to find my release. The all-familiar tingle in my stomach is starting. I close my eyes and submit to the most amazing feeling ever. I throw my head back and his name falls from my lips. His lips come to my neck, kissing and sucking, and before my orgasm is over I feel him remove his fingers and thrust into me hard.
“Oh God.” I moan out loud. Chase reaches for my hands and laces our fingers together, placing them over my head. His thrusts are achingly slow; I don’t know how much more I can take. I need him to move faster, to forget everything that’s going on. “Faster Chase.”
“Angie, look at me. I need this slow tonight,” he says, while gazing into my eyes.
There is something about looking him dead in the eyes as we move together, as if we are one person. I wouldn’t be able to tell you where I begin and he ends. It has never felt like this before. I see desire, want, and love as I look at him. I see it all. No words need to be spoken, because right now our bodies are doing all the talking needed. This is what sweet lovemaking is supposed to feel like. Just the two of us in our own world, wrapped in each other in every way possible.
Feeling the tingling sensation deep down, I know it won’t be long now before he pushes me over the edge. Breaking eye contact, he leans down to bite the spot right under my ear and grinds himself deeper. Squeezing his hands, I go into the most powerful orgasm of my life. Before I can make a noise, his lips lock with mine as our tongues dance with each other. He thrusts two more times before he stills, releasing himself into me. He lies on top of me with all his weight as we get our breathing under control.
“I love you, angel,” he says quietly in my ear.
“I love you, too.”
Even though it’s hard to breathe, I just lie there with him in my arms. We don’t have much time left with each other before he leaves. Even though he said he has a couple of months before he leaves, I just want to enjoy every moment with him. Leaning up, he kisses my lips softly before pulling away.
“Come on, let’s go clean up so you can get back to sleep. You have to work tomorrow and you both need rest,” he says, with his hand on my stomach.
I can’t stop the tears that are making their way to the surface as he mentions the baby. He leans down and places a kiss over my stomach. The loving gesture makes me even more emotional and a tear escapes. I quickly wipe it away before he sees. He reaches his hand out to help me up and out of bed.
Back in bed, Chase lies on his back while I curl my head on his chest, my leg wrapped over his. The last thing I remember is him telling me everything was going to work out and be okay.
With one hand on my stomach and the other over Chase, I fall asleep. My whole world in my arms.
Chapter 22
Chase
Morning arrives, Angie is still wrapped completely around me, sleeping peacefully. I, on the other hand, am wide-awake, reflecting on the last twenty-four hours. My life is about to change completely whether I’m ready or not. When she told me she was pregnant my heart both soared and dropped. Of course I want children—I love them. I just wanted to be here for it all, and now I’m going to miss everything. I won’t be here to see her stomach grow, or listen to our baby’s heartbeat. I’ll miss our baby’s first breath into this world. I have to miss it all. For the first time in my life I’m regretting my decision to join the military. Now, because of this deployment, I’ll be halfway around the world during one of the most important moments of my life.
I’m trying so hard to hold it together for her. I need to show her I can be strong for both of us. My worst fear though is that something will happen to her or the baby. How will I concentrate over there knowing my whole world is over here, continuing on without me? One thing I know for sure is I’ll never give up the fight to get back home to her and the baby. I don’t like this one bit. I need to get Chris to look after them while I’m away. I grab my phone and shoot a text to Chris, knowing he’s awake.
Me: Meet me at Dubs at twelve thirty. Need to talk.
He responds almost immediately.
Chris: You got it.
I put the phone back on the nightstand. I try to think back to last night and what passed between Angie and I in bed. That had to be the most intimate sex of my life. We opened ourselves up completely to each other. Looking into her eyes while making love was something I will never forget. When she told me she loved me, I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest from joy. I’ve heard the words before from girls who think they love me, but hearing them from the girl I love was amazing. I never knew love could feel like this.
I slowly peel out from under her. Since I’m already up I decide to make her breakfast before she leaves for work. I’m so lost in the cooking that I don’t notice when Angie joins me, wrapping her arms around me from behind. Putting down the whisk I was using to make scrambled eggs, I turn in her arms and notice she is already dressed for work, looking extremely hot in her scrubs.
“Good morning, beautiful. I must say you look good in those. My fantasies are running wild.” I wink at her.
She laughs and hits me in the gut. “Good morning to you too, and get your mind out of the gutter, perv.” She has a teasing glint in her eye as she leans up to give me a kiss.
“Go take a seat, your food is almost done.”
I turn back to cooking and she wanders into the living room, turning the news on. I plate her food and start to bring it over to her but stop midway to look at her. She is simply beautiful with her hair in a knot and work clothes on. I feel this overwhelming need to memorize everything about her before I leave. Not that it will be hard, she is impossible to forget. I shake my head and make my way over to her.
“Here you go, baby. Eat up before work.” I sit down beside her.
“Thank you, this was sweet of you.”
After she’s left and I’ve cleaned up the kitchen, I go back to her room. Sitting on her bed I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head in my hands. Someone comes in and sits down next to me. I glance over and see Jenn.
She places her hand on my back. “You okay, Chase?”
“To be honest, not really.”
“I know about the baby, Chase, everything is going to be okay.”
I guess now would be a good time to tell her the news. I run my hands over my face. “I’m being deployed, Jenn.”
She sucks in a breath. “Oh shit. What about Angie and the baby?”
“I will continue to support her and be there for her. I just need you and Chris to look after her. I’m leaving everything behind, and I need to know that she’s in good hands.”
“Of course we will look after her, Chase. You know she’s like a sister to me. You just worry on getting back here in one piece.”
“I will, don’t worry about me. Just don’t say anything to Chris yet, I’m meeting him for lunch today and want to tell him.”
Her eyes are filled with tears as she looks at me. “I won’t tell him. Everything will work out, you’ll see. I have to head to work now, but I’m always here if you need me. Bye, Chase.”
“Bye, Jenn,” I say, standing up and giving her hug.
I step into the shower with my back to the water. I can feel my resolve starting to break. Warm tears begin sliding down my face, and for the first time in forever, I cry. I cry because I know I can’t be here when Angie will need me the most. I feel so helpless knowing I’ll be so far away and unable to protect her and care for her. Knowing I won’t see my son or daughter come into this world is killing me. I now have to leave my future in the hands of someone else. I cry until all the tears are dried up and the water turns cold. It’s time to be strong again and go break the news to my parents and then meet Chris for lunch.
My parents took the news like any other parents would—my mom cried and my dad was strong, like he always is. Now I just need to tell Chris. We’ve been close for a while, and I need his reassurance that he can take care of my girl for me. I order a beer while I wait for him to arrive.
Five minutes later he’s sitting across from me. He looks at my beer and chuckles. “Beer already? Must be a bad day.”
He doesn’t even see what’s coming.
“You could say that. Angie is pregnant, and—”
“Holy shit, wow. Well if anyone can make it work it’s you two.”
“That’s not all. I got a call yesterday on my way home from drill, I’m being deployed soon.”
He just sits there, speechless, staring at me. There isn’t anything more I can say, so I wait for his shock to subside.
“I don’t know what to say. This can’t be real. You can’t leave her,” he finally says.
“It’s real, man. I need you to promise me you’ll look out for her. I need to know she’s in good hands and that if something happens to me you will make sure that she’s happy and she finds a man who will love her and my kid.” I can hardly get the words out. The thought of another man touching her, loving her, makes me sick to my stomach. But nobody is promised tomorrow.
“Shit, man. You know I’ll watch over her and your kid until you get back. Don’t talk like that though, you will come home and stand next to me as my best man when I marry Jenn. Nothing will happen—you’re too stubborn and hard-headed for anything to take you down.”
I chuckle at his response. Of course he can make me laugh at a time like this. “I will fight everything in my way to get home to them and to stand at your wedding. I don’t know exactly when I’m leaving, but it sounds like it won’t be for a couple more months so we still have some time. I told Jenn this morning. She took it pretty hard, too.” I know I don’t have to tell him to be there for his girl, but sometimes things like this mess people up. We make small talk for the rest of the lunch hour then head our separate ways, promising to see each other later that night.
I decide to walk downtown to process everything. I notice a small flower shop out of the corner of my eye and make my way over to it. Maybe this will cheer my girl up some.
Chapter 23
Angie
This has got to be the worst Monday of all. I’m not sure if it’s from everything with Chase or work just sucks today. I shouldn’t have come into work today, my mind is just not in the right place. Thankfully, we have a light patient load, so I’m not slammed. Although, I almost wish I was because the day would at least go by quickly, and I wouldn’t have time to think. Just for five minutes I want to believe my world isn’t falling down around me, and that the love of my life isn’t about to go fight in war.
I’m not stupid; I know what goes on over there. I lost a good friend from high school a couple of years back to this war. I know men and women come home every day no longer the same person. I just need to keep my thoughts positive, and keep my head in the game. I’m busy filling out surgery paperwork when the phone rings, seeing it’s the front receptionist, I pick up.
“Hello,” I say, they already know who is working this area.
“Hey, girl, you got a delivery up here.”
“Are you sure? I’m not expecting anything.”
“Yep, it’s got your name on it.” She hangs up before I can ask her what it is.
I have no idea what she’s talking about. Maybe she just has the wrong Angie, since there are two of us. I make my way to the front desk and see a beautiful bouquet of red roses. These can’t be for me. Putting my nose to them, I breathe in their beautiful aroma. Wow, they smell amazing. I grab the card to make sure they are mine.
My love, Angie.
Everything is going to be just fine.
I love you.
C xoxo
I can’t believe Chase did this. It’s like he knows exactly when I need him. I can feel a few tears fall down my face. I quickly wipe them away and grab the vase. As I head back to my desk I notice there are only eleven roses. That’s a weird number. When I get back to my desk I text him.
Me: Thank you for the flowers. They made my day. I love you.
He must have been waiting for me to text because he responds immediately.
Chase: You’re welcome, baby. See you after work. Love you, too.
I get back to what I was doing before, but this time I’m in a much better mood. I hear the squeak of the door when Dr. James emerges from the room and eyes the flowers on the counter.
“Wow, that’s special.”
“They are unexpected.” I’ve been at this office for over a year, and Dr. James works three days a week so we have grown close. As soon as I walked in this morning he could tell something was wrong. During our prep for the day, I poured my heart out to him about Chase deploying and the baby. Thankfully, the rest of the workday passes much more quickly. As I approach my vehicle I notice the twelfth rose on my windshield, tucked under my wiper blades.
The smile on my face grows even bigger as I grab it and add it to the others.
When I walk in the door I am relieved that no one is home. I just want to curl up on my bed and think about everything that has happened in the last forty-eight hours. I need to get over to my mom’s and tell her about everything. Luckily, she already loves Chase, so I have no worries there. I wonder if he’s told his parents yet…
My phone rings, startling me awake. Not even bothering to see who it is, I answer. “Hello.”
“Hey, baby. Were you sleeping?” Chase asks.
“Yeah, I must have. What time is it?”
“A little after six. Want to come over for dinner with Jenn and Chris?”
Wow, I slept for forty-five minutes. “Sure, I just need to change then I’ll head over.”
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