A few hours later we are all dancing and having a good time. Chase walks outside to the private balcony. I get up and follow him, finding him staring out into the night. I place my hand on his back and he tenses up. “Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, baby,” I say.
He turns around and pulls me into his arms. “Crowds make me nervous now. It’s hard to be around a bunch of people that I don’t know. I just needed to come out here and get some fresh air, I thought it might help,” he says, kissing my forehead.
“Is that all?” Before he can answer, my mom comes out and tells me Ainsley needs to eat. Chase promises that we’ll talk later, when we’re alone. Since it’s getting pretty late, my mom takes her home when she’s finished. Chase and I make our way back into the ballroom to finish out the night.
Chase pulls me onto the dance floor when Faith Hill and Tim McGraw’s “I Need You” comes on. He holds onto me with a death grip, like I am his rock, for the entire song. If this is what he needs then I will let him have it. Jenn and Chris announce they are leaving, so we send them off with love and happiness. They are going away to Hawaii for two whole weeks. I will miss her, but they deserve some time alone.
After everyone is gone, Chase and I make our way up to his room for the night. I brought my stuff up here this morning. We walk into the room, and as soon as the door closes Chase has me pinned against it. He kisses me hard and needy while I run my hands through his hair. He breaks the kiss, looking down at me. The pain I see in his eyes makes me want to cry for him. I hate that look in them. “Are you ready to talk, Chase?”
Chapter 36
Chase
There is the million dollar question. Am I ready to talk? No, but she deserves the truth. I would much rather continue to devour her, but she needs answers. “Why don’t we get changed into comfier clothes first.”
“Join me in the shower,” she says, walking to the bathroom.
Hell if I’m going to miss a chance at seeing her naked and wet.
Helping her out of her dress is making me want to take her right there. I really just want to rip it right off. I’m trying so hard to be good, but she isn’t making it easy for me. I strip out of my clothes and join her under the water. She has her head tilted back and eyes closed. She looks fucking beautiful in this moment. Unable to control this urge any longer, I start kissing her neck while running my hands down her back and across her beautiful ass. Licking, kissing and biting, she moans at my assault, so I know she is enjoying it. Lifting her up by her thighs, I back her against the wall. “This is going to be hard and fast, baby.”
“Yes.”
I chuckle. That’s obviously how she wants it, too. I rub my cock between her folds and enter her in one swift thrust. I pull all the way out and slam back into her hard. After a few thrusts I can feel her begin to tighten around me. I bend my head down, sucking on her nipple as we both find our release together. I hold her close, wanting this moment to last. Once our breathing returns to normal, I let her down slowly and begin to wash her body. We step out and get dressed.
I know I can’t put this off any longer, it’s now time for me to tell her what happened over there. She joins me on the bed. “Before I start let me just say that I don’t want you to talk. Let me just get it all out and then you can say whatever you want to say, okay?” I ask while looking down at my clasped hands.
“Okay, but just know that I love you,” she says sweetly, while her hand rubs my upper back.
“I love you, too. The stuff I saw over there is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Most of it good, but there was definitely also some bad. The worst of it is why I am having trouble here. You see, they say if one of them points a gun at you, you shoot if told to. On one mission in particular, I was ordered to shoot.” He pauses, taking a deep breath to collect himself before continuing. “He was just a kid, Angie, probably eighteen at the most. He pulled a gun on us when we were doing one of our missions. He pointed the gun right at me, and my commander told me to shoot. I had no other choice but to pull my trigger. I killed him. It still haunts me to this day. Why is it fair that I get to come home and raise my daughter when I took someone else’s son from them? They have to live the rest of their life knowing their son is never coming back, and I get to have the perfect life here like I never did anything. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of your love or being a father to our daughter. Coming home, I felt scared and worthless.” I stop talking to look over at Angie and see tears falling.
“Oh, Chase. You can’t possibly think that. What you did over there was your job, you were given an order. If you hadn’t followed the command that guy would have killed you. You are the best father to our daughter. Yes, it took you a couple of weeks to adjust, but you are doing a fabulous job now,” she says, climbing into my lap.
“I was scared that once you found out what I did you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. I still have a ways to go, but the therapy that I’m going to is helping. I’m trying so hard to be the father and man you both need.” I hold her tight and kiss her with as much love and passion as I can convey.
“You are what we need, Chase, and don’t ever forget that. I would never leave you for what you signed up to do.”
I turn in the bed and lay her down, showing her with my body the love I have for her. I spend the whole night inside her, making love to the woman of my life. I worship her body, not leaving an inch untouched. By the time we fall asleep in the early morning there is no doubt in my mind I chose the right night to tell her everything. Now I just need to make this official.
Chapter 37
Angie
These last two months have been amazing. Chase and I are doing wonderful. Ever since the night of the wedding, and he told me everything, we have been closer than ever. I felt like that night was a big turning point in our relationship. He still has his moments, but he can control his thoughts now. Ainsley is growing so much; she is five months old and learns new things every day. My mom watches her during the day now that Chase is back to work.
Jenn called me last night to tell me that she is pregnant, she’s pretty certain it happened on their honeymoon. I can’t wait for them to have a baby. We’re all getting together this weekend for a barbecue at their house.
As I get ready for work this Friday it feels different, yet I’m not all too sure why. Chase is with Ainsley in her room, getting her ready for my mom’s house. It’s like this every day—Chase gets her ready while I get ready, since I have to be in before he does. I walk into the kitchen and find breakfast already made, waiting for me on the counter, and Chase sitting at the table.
“What’s all this for?” Normally I grab something quick to go.
“Thought I would make you breakfast, that’s all,” he says. I notice he isn’t dressed yet for work.
“Don’t you need to get ready for work?” I say, sitting down next to him.
“Nope, I’m off today. Got some things to take care of.”
He looks nervous for some reason. He’s acting weird, but I decide to ignore it. All too soon I have to leave for work. Kissing them both goodbye, I grab my stuff and make my way to work.
The day passes in a blur. We were extremely busy, which is odd because we’re on our off-season. All day long Chase has been sending me sweet texts. I wonder what he’s up to… Making my way toward my car, I see a piece of paper and a rose on the windshield. Grabbing the paper, I read:
Be ready at seven, beautiful.
xoxo Chase
Wow, this feels like déjà vu all over again. I remember when he left this on my car last year. Making my way home, I quickly get in the shower and get ready. Just as I finish putting on my lip gloss the doorbell rings. I look at my phone for the time, it is seven, but he wouldn’t possibly wait at the door when he lives here, would he? I look through the peephole and see him standing there. I open the door.
“Don’t you look gorgeous,” he says, handing me roses.
“Hey, baby. What is all this for?” I say,
kissing him on the lips.
“You will just have to wait and see,” he says.
After putting the roses in water, we make our way to his truck. He has to help me up since I’m wearing a dress. He closes my door and walks around to his side and gets in. We make our way toward wherever he is taking me. He refuses to tell me where we’re going and just says I’ll find out soon enough. Moments later, we pull into the parking lot of the steakhouse that he took me to a couple of months ago. The hostess leads us to a private room in the back. Instead of opening the door, she turns and walks back to the front. How very odd, I think. Chase takes my hand and opens the door.
I’m speechless. The room has rose petals all over the floor. There is a table for two set in the middle of the room, and the soft glow of candles flicker in the dark. He places his hand at the small of my back and leads me toward the table, pulling out my chair for me.
“What is all this?” I say softly.
“I just wanted to have a night out with you.”
I’m not buying his answer, but the food comes out shortly. Dinner was absolutely amazing. He seems somewhat nervous, and I’m not sure why. We have been on plenty of dates before. After we finish our meal, the waiter brings out our dessert.
Right as I’m about to take a bite, Chase stands up and walks over to me. Getting down on one knee he speaks: “I remember the day I saw you move in next door. You were this gorgeous teenage girl that I couldn’t get out of my head, but you had a boyfriend at the time so I let it go. Little did I know, three years later we would meet again by accident. Ever since that night it’s always been you, and it will always be you. I love you more today than I did yesterday. I want us to be a family and raise our children as husband and wife. What I’m trying to say is, Angie, will you marry me?”
I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. “Yes.” I can hardly get the word out. There was a time where I didn’t think this was going to happen between us, and now it’s all I want.
He slides the gorgeous two-carat, princess cut diamond on my finger. He stands up, bringing me with him and kisses me intensely. I can’t believe he asked me. I now get to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. It might have been a bumpy road to get us here, but in the end our hearts won.
“I love you so much, future Mrs. Johnson,” he says against my lips.
“I love you too, fiancé.”
Epilogue
Chase
Two Years Later
“Daddy?”
“Yes, my angel.”
“What’s that?” she asks in her little voice.
“This is your brother’s swing,” I say, picking her up. Ainsley is your typical two-year-old, who definitely keeps us on our toes. She is the spitting image of her mother, she loves to play dress up, and play with Angie’s makeup. She is definitely a girly-girl, and that’s okay, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Life couldn’t be any better. Angie and I have been married for a year now, and she is six months pregnant with our son. Things between us are better than ever. We just bought a house in the same neighborhood that Jenn and Chris live. They just announced their second baby is on the way a couple of days ago. Angie stays home now but will work if they are short-handed.
“Hey, baby, I’m back.”
Gosh, I love the sound of her voice. It still sounds as sweet as an angel’s.
“Mommy!” Ainsley yells, jumping out of my arms and running to her.
“The groceries are still in the car?” I keep telling her to leave them for me to bring in. She doesn’t need to be lifting them when I’m home to do it for her.
“Hey, baby girl. I didn’t touch them, babe,” she says, leaning in to kiss my lips.
After putting the groceries away, I make my way back to the living room. I stop and just stare at my two girls. Angie is just as beautiful as she was the day we met. I look down to her swollen belly and thank the heavens that I’m here for this pregnancy. It has been so amazing to be here for all of it this time. Watching her body change is just incredible, each day she gets a little bigger, but more beautiful at the same time.
I am no longer in therapy, but I could always go back if I need to. I have come to accept the things I’ve done and have been able to move on with my life. It still makes me nervous to be around a large group of people, but I try to avoid those situations. That will probably never change, no matter what I do. I don’t know where I would be if this woman I love hadn’t stood her ground with me and forced me to get help.
“Come on, I’m taking my ladies out to dinner,” I say, walking into the room.
“Yay, can I wear a dress, Daddy?”
“Of course, princess,” I say, picking her up.
“You’re too good to us,” Angie says, standing up beside me.
Winking at her, I give her a quick kiss. “I love you, Mrs. Johnson.”
“I love you too, Mr. Johnson.”
The End.
Lauren Nicole Bio
Lauren Nicole is a thirty-year-old Contemporary Romance author from Florida. When she’s not writing she spends time with her three boys and husband. She loves to watch and play sports. When she gets some downtime you will find her curled up with a good book.
Acknowledgements
My husband, Ryan—You have been my number one supporter while writing this book. You are always there to couch me through the times when I wanted to quit. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done. I love you.
Megan C. Smith and K.S. Smith—I honestly don’t even know where to begin with you ladies. You both have become very good friends of mine. You ladies have shown me so much of this indie community, by taking me along to the signings and showing me how it all works. Thank you to the red marker queen for not being scared to tell it like it is. I can’t wait to see what is in store for us. I love you, ladies.
Kaylee Ryan—Thank you for giving me that extra push to begin writing, and for all the help and guidance you have given me along the way. You don’t know how much I appreciate you.
K.C. Lynn—I fell in love with you through your first book and then our friendship blossomed from there. Thank you for your help with the scenes and all the advice you have given me. You are very dear and special to me.
Megan, me editor, with Wild Rose Editing—You took my masterpiece and made it sparkle! I am so glad I was given your name. I can’t wait to work with you on my next book! You rock!
Jenny Spears Photography—Thanks to you my cover photo came out just as I imagined. You knew what I wanted and nailed it. Thanks, girl, love ya.
Kari with Cover to Cover Designs—Never did I imagine my cover to be this amazing. You went above and beyond and nailed it. It is absolutely perfect. I look forward to working with you again soon.
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