by Lily White
His playful smile made me grin, and even the small change in my expression was enough to send another shock of pain through my head.
Movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention and I forced myself to move in order to see who else had stepped into the room.
Looking like he hadn’t slept in days, Jeremy leaned against the doorframe, watching intently as I climbed out of whatever abyss had previously stolen me away from consciousness.
Nurses moved around him and into the room, one checking my vitals and the other injecting something into a machine to my side. The instant pain relief forced the breath out of my lungs. I smiled and fell back asleep, feeling blissfully normal once again.
. . .
“Alex…” A hand brushed over my forehead. “Come on, beautiful girl, open your eyes and look at me. You’ve been sleeping way too long.”
It was easier this time to drag myself away from my slumber. The pain that greeted me the last time had dispersed and faded away into nothing more than a fleeting memory.
“Jeremy?”
He looked casual sitting beside me with a book in his lap. It was surprising to see him without his typical doctor’s jacket and pressed pants. Instead, he was wearing nothing more than a simple t-shirt and jeans. His wavy hair was wild, framing his head and giving him a boyish look. I wondered if this is what he looked like in high school or college, in the days before he donned the cool and collected demeanor of a scientist that had to keep his distance from the people he studied.
“Hey.” Tapping his finger on my nose, he smiled. “It’s good to see you’ve finally decided to join me again. You’ve been out for almost 24 hours.”
My thoughts moved in a lazy shuffle, bits and pieces of my past drifting into my conscious mind. They hurt and the heart rate monitor sped with the anxiety that creeped up my spine like spindly fingers, dragging and spreading out the dread that assaulted me when I remembered what happened.
Shooting up in bed, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and Jeremy caught me, gently guiding me back down to lay my head on the stack of pillows behind me.
“Joe…” The memories weren’t clear, but there was enough there to remember what occurred in the asylum the last time I’d been conscious.
Jeremy’s expression was sympathetic, anger teeming behind his eyes that was quickly replaced by concern. “You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”
But it wasn’t fear that made me say Joe’s name, it was the nagging feeling that he was something more…something hidden behind shadow. I couldn’t put my finger on the memory, couldn’t hold it still in my thoughts long enough to understand what my mind was trying to recall.
“How are you feeling, Alex?”
Jeremy’s hand slid softly down my hair, his eyes locked to mine as he waited for my response.
“Sore, but other than that I’m feeling okay.” Blinking away the haze of sleep from my eyes, I remembered that it hadn’t been Jeremy in that seat that last time I’d opened my eyes.
“Is Dain still here?”
Jeremy smiled. “He went home to get some sleep. After he found out about the incident at the institution, he hasn’t left your room. I finally convinced him to go home a few hours ago.”
Little bits came back to me and another memory formed inside my thoughts, driving my apprehension even higher.
“Is Terrie okay?” It was hard to talk with the cotton in my mouth and I hoped that Jeremy could understand despite my muffled words.
“She’s fine. She had a minor heart attack, but she’ll recover just fine.”
“It wasn’t a heart attack.”
The beeping monitor above me sped up in time with the rate of my racing heart. Jeremy scowled at the sound, but kept his voice relaxed in an effort to calm me back down. “Alex, she’s fine.”
I couldn’t stop shaking and I needed answers in order to release the fear that had been my constant companion since I’d woken up in the asylum.
“Is…” I caught my breath, slowing the rate of my lungs in order to slow the beat of my heart. “Is Joe dead?”
Jeremy nodded, an eyebrow cocking over his eye when he finally answered, “You have four women you’ll need to thank once you get back to the institution. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t think you’d be here with me right now.”
A shadow flashed over his expression and his eyes clouded with guilt. “I shouldn’t have left you. I thought that with Terrie you’d be safe, but…” His fingers tangled with mine, his thumb brushing over my knuckles in the typical manner it always did when Jeremy held my hand. “…Regardless, I’ll be sure not to make the same mistake again. Due to the actions of your friends, Joe will no longer be an issue.”
“Are they in trouble for what they did?”
His lips curled up into an amused smirk. “No. Considering everything that happened, they aren’t. I’m a little concerned about the extent they went to in order to stop Joe from hurting you, but I guess that’s to be expected when dealing with psychiatric patients.”
Squeezing my hand to reassure me, he smiled. “Not only are they not getting in trouble for what they did, they’re being given more privileges as a thank you from me. I thought they would enjoy more time outside during the day and each of them will have their own week of having choice of what channel is playing on the television in the rec room. Julianne’s week started this morning…” He chuckled. “The other patients seem to enjoy the cartoon channel now that she’s forcing them to watch it. Even Lesley and Michelle were laughing when something - or someone - was blown up.” He rolled his eyes at the thought.
I smiled and it hurt to laugh. “That sounds right up their alley.”
“Well, something else interesting happened since you decided to take a long nap.” He winked. “Sally’s husband was contacted as a result of the incident. I only talked to him briefly and he wants to see his wife. I gathered some interesting information from him, and although Sally will never be let out of the Asylum due to her crimes, he stills loves her deeply and asked to be allowed visitation.”
“Why the sudden change of heart?”
“I didn’t ask him, I was too concerned about getting back here with you. I haven’t left since.”
“Do you want me to tell you what happened?” I didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to relive the terror and pain of my time alone with Joe, but I felt like there was something hanging between us that would be lifted once we got the details out in the open.
“There’ll be plenty of time for that later. For now, I just want you to rest up and get back to your normal self. There are no permanent injuries and everything is minor in comparison to what it could have been.” He reached out to stroke his thumb over my temple. “You have some cuts and bruises, but they’ll heal.”
He stopped talking and silence fell between us like a thick and suffocating blanket. The distance that grew between us was palpable. He was pulling away, but I refused to let that happen. “What’s wrong, Jeremy?”
Another beat of silence and he finally answered, “I can’t help but feel like this is my fault. I left you in a compromised position because of the drugs I’d used for therapy. It should have occurred to me to tell Terrie to keep you in the therapy room. I – “
Placing my hand on his knee, I stole his attention away from blaming himself. I didn’t blame him. There was no reason he should beat himself up over a situation that was outside of his control. I’d survived and Joe would never be a problem again. But there was one thing he needed to know, a piece of information that answered a question that weighed heavily not only on my shoulders, but on Jeremy’s and Dain’s as well.
“I need to tell you something, Jeremy…”
“I don’t want to talk about it tonight, Alex. I want to give you some time to recover.”
“Jeremy, it’s important. Joe was the hooded man. I saw him when he took me after Terrie collapsed.”
His eyes widened when I spit out what I had to say. Sitti
ng up in his chair, he searched my face for something, but didn’t appear to find it. “What you’re saying isn’t possible, Alex. Are you sure you saw him in the ward?”
“Yes.” I coughed when the bandage in my mouth shifted. Ripping it off my tongue, I pulled it from my mouth so it would be easier to speak. Jeremy’s eyes narrowed in reaction, but he didn’t scold me for removing it.
“He was the one who hit me and when I woke up with Joe, I realized they had to be the same person.”
The skin between Jeremy’s eyes crinkled, his hand gripping mine tighter as he breathed out a resigned breath.
“Alex, listen…Dain and I weren’t going to tell you this immediately because we wanted to give you time to come to terms with everything.” He paused a beat, struggling with how to tell me something he worried would cause me more harm that it would good.
“Your brother found Jay. You weren’t imagining a hooded man before you came to the asylum. You were being stalked. From what they discovered in his house, there is a strong possibility that he was responsible for the deaths of Bobby Arrington and Chase Wallace.
“What?” My blood pressure spiked and my breath felt choked in my throat. The machine above my head beeped frantically, sounding like a bomb that was about to explode. Jeremy glanced up at the machine, scowling at whatever the numbers were telling him.
“I was being stalked?”
“Alex, we should talk about this later. Your vitals are…”
“Fuck my vitals. If Jay is real then how the hell was he getting into the Asylum?”
Taking a sudden interest in his shoes, he refused to look at me.
“Jeremy, tell me.”
He finally looked up, locking me with his sapphire stare.
“It’s impossible for him to have broken into the asylum because Jay has been dead for the past six months at least.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
"The minute people fall in love, they become liars."
- Harlan Ellison
Four Months Later
“After tracing Jay Harrison’s activities following his eighteenth birthday, I was able to locate a small family farm house on the outskirts of the state. His family had been supplying him with cash for support and had the bills for power, water and other resources paid under a company name in order to conceal the occupant of the home. Following the discovery of that information, I drove out to the house in order to determine if I could verify the identity of the occupant. While walking the perimeter of the house, I was able to see inside an uncovered window. I noticed what appeared to be a human body in an advanced stage of decomposition. The local authorities were then notified. Upon arrival to the scene, they gained access to the building and verified that a human body was inside.”
Dain sat on the witness stand at the front of a large courtroom. His face was a mask of professionalism, and for the first time in my life I was able to watch my brother in his element. No longer the cocky and arrogant boy he’d been when we were children, and no longer the concerned brother that sat opposite from me at a table in the visitor’s lounge of a mental institution, he was now the face of integrity and pride, a detective who, through hard work and self-sacrifice, could use his talents to protect the people where he loved. He was strong, he was self-assured and above all, he was humble.
He was the man I never imagined he could grow up to be. My parents would have been proud to stand beside him when he graduated the academy and their hearts would have burst with joy when he was promoted within the force to become the youngest detective in the history of the city.
But even more than that, my parents would have thanked him for finally releasing me from the suspicion of murder that put me away in the nut house in the first place.
Sitting on the Defendant’s table, I ignored the rumblings of the attorney sitting to my left and I wished I could reach over and hold the hand of the doctor I knew was sitting on a bench behind me. He would free me today as much as he could, while still promising to cure me of the trauma and constant nightmare that had become the overriding theme of my life.
It wasn’t fair. As a young girl, I’d been left in the care of a monster, one who’d been exiled and cast away, who’d been stripped of the privilege afforded to him by wealthy and influential parents. He’d blamed me for the destruction of his life, but still obsessed, could never bring himself to kill me. He wanted me shattered and destroyed, tossed aside and forgotten, but still alive to suffer the consequences of the crimes he committed in my place.
“After securing the remains, the medical examiner was able to identify Mr. Harrison based on dental records. The cause of death, as per the medical examiner’s report was unknown due to the advanced state of decomposition.”
The judge sat in his seat, intently listening the chronology of events that led to this hearing. We weren’t here today to determine whether I was guilty of a crime, but instead to determine whether I would remain a ward of the state for the resultant cognitive deficiencies I’d developed in response to the repeated traumas I’d endured.
“Once the body was located and secured, the home was considered to be a crime scene due to an unknown cause of death. Photographs and other evidence were located in the home directly linking Mr. Harrison to not only stalking Ms. Sutton, but also to the murders of Bobby Arrington and Chase Wallace. We are still unsure as to his motivation for committing the murders, however I don’t believe that is a factor that needs to be discussed today.”
The attorney for the State, the man who represented the agency in charge of human and family welfare, stood at the center podium. His grey suit was nicely pressed and his hair was brushed to the side in an effort to hide the bald spot that was still glaringly apparent regardless of the comb over.
“Mr. Sutton, are you here today as a representative of the police department?”
“No, sir.” Dain was quick to answer the question because he wanted to make it clear that, although he’d been the one to find Jay, he had not been a part of the investigation. “I’m testifying today as the next of kin for my sister, Alexandra Sutton.”
“And are you aware of the proposal that has been set forth for your sister’s continued care plan by Dr. Jeremy Hutchins.”
“Yes sir.”
“Do you agree with the care plan that has been set forth by Dr. Hutchins?”
“Yes sir.”
“Thank you Mr. Sutton. The state has no further questions.”
The judge spoke up, his authoritative voice booming throughout the large space. “Does counsel for Ms. Sutton have any questions for Mr. Sutton before he steps down from the stand?”
My attorney stood from his chair. “No, your honor.”
“Mr. Sutton, you are excused. The State can call its next witness.”
“State calls Dr. Jeremy Hutchins.”
I hated the formality of this proceeding and it bothered me despite the warnings and preparation I’d gone through with both Dain and Jeremy. I hated not being able to speak for myself. However, I was still the crazy person – still the woman who, despite being alive and able to think for herself, couldn’t be trusted to know what was in her best interests. I thanked god for both my brother and for Jeremy. I had two strong men on my side, one who was family and one who would, one day, become family.
Jeremy moved across the courtroom with the smooth swagger that always sparked to life the heat and desire I had inside me. We’d spent the past four months continuing my therapy, but also developing a relationship that blossomed into an enduring and sensual love affair. He made promises to me in those quiet moments – promises I knew he would honor.
After taking his seat at the witness stand, he was sworn in. His eyes flicked to me only briefly and I had to fight to contain my smile. Nobody could know about us, not until the day when I was considered cured of the problems that continued to plague me. It would take time. Jeremy had warned me of that. But I didn’t mind the clandestine meetings between us, the brief moments where our bodies would c
ome together and our hearts would be in a fury of sexual lust and breathless love. Just looking at him from across the room was enough to leave me speechless. He was almost too beautiful too look at and it had been difficult to hide my feelings for him when I caught sight of him in the wards.
“Dr. Hutchins, good afternoon, sir.”
“Good afternoon.” His voice was steady and poised, confident with a note of sensuality that had drawn the attention of the few women sitting in the room.
“Let’s begin today by going over your qualifications as an expert in this matter.”
Jeremy rattled off the chronology of brag he’d accumulated in his life. His education, his internships, his hospital residencies, his numerous staff positions he’d held while climbing that ladder of success – everything that he’d accomplished in life that eventually led him to the place where he would become not only my doctor, but my lover as well.
“Thank you, Doctor.” The attorney fiddled with his notes, not really caring about my life or me as a person. He was only working his daily job so he could collect his check and move on. I was perfectly fine with that as long as I remained in Jeremy’s capable hands.
“Can you please explain to the court your findings regarding the ongoing cognitive function of Ms. Sutton? The court is allowing a narrative for this portion of the proceedings in order to save time. As such, please explain in what capacity you have known Ms. Sutton and also your recommendations as to her continued care.”
Jeremy rambled on about how he obtained the position of lead psychiatrist for the Statham Institution for the Criminally Insane. He detailed my therapy and the information that was obtained as a result of the therapeutic procedures he’d developed.
I was proud of him for having developed a treatment regimen that was recognized and admired by some of the most renowned psychiatrists in the country. His methods would be implemented in several institutions as an effective tool for patients who suffered ailments as harrowing as mine. After news of his diagnosis and treatment plan became public knowledge, Jeremy had been offered a managing position in a swanky and well-funded private institution.