Pops was still for a moment, then laid his fishing reel across the table and turned to me with a groan. He drained the last of his coke, then tossed the can into the trash, where it clinked against the other dozen cans already there —reminders that his addictive personality had to replace the alcohol with something.
“Okay, son.”
My eyes went wide.
“I can say that maybe it was a mistake to tell you those things. You were young and impressionable. I should have let you find your own path. You know what… you want my blessing to marry Charlie, you’ve got it. But when,” — he raised his hands in defense — “if it goes bad… I’ma walk around you, holding up a big ass “I told you so” sign, everywhere you go, son. Deal?”
I chuckled a little, scratching my head. “I guess that’s as good as I’m gonna get from you, dad. So yeah, deal.”
“Alright now!”
Laughing, we shook hands, then returned to our task of getting our fishing gear ready to go out on the water. “Hey,” I said, glancing over at my dad as he leaned over the tackle box. “Did you know Lorenzo was Charlie’s dad?”
He went still for a moment, then looked up, giving me a subtle nod. “I still don’t know why they never told that girl, but wasn’t none of my business. I just made sure Lorenzo kept his ass in line, and saw about his baby for him when he couldn’t.”
“You know she’s pissed right?”
Pops grimaced. “She knows?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, placing the tubs of bloody chicken livers we were using as bait in the cooler. “She found out a few days ago.”
He shook his head. “Ah damn. She alright?”
“She’s alright,” I confirmed. A few seconds passed, and then I smiled. “She’s pregnant.”
My dad let out a shout of laughter, standing up straight as he tossed his head back. “Girl hasn’t even back in town a full season! Boy, you ain’t waste no time did you?”
“No sir, I didn’t.” I smiled at him again, then turned toward the water. “I did that last time. Not again.”
He wiped his hands on his pants, then approached me, reaching to shake my hand. I returned the gesture, then pulled him into a hug.
“You know… back in my day, you were supposed to marry a girl before you knocked her up, not the other way around.”
I twisted up the corner of my mouth. “Dad… I was ring-bearer at your wedding.”
“That’s my point son. Graham men, doing shit backwards,” he chuckled. “Apple don’t fall far from the tree.”
I clapped my dad on the shoulder, then turned back to finish gathering our supplies. “I don’t mean any disrespect Pops… but when it comes to relationships, I hope my apple fell as far from your tree as possible.”
twenty-one.
charlie.
It didn’t take Viv long to start looking a little misty.
Between us, we’d already established that she and I must have been the vessels our mothers squeezed all of their emotional sensitivity into. We’d barely been in the room together for ten minutes, and already, both of us were blinking back tears.
I’d talked to, but really hadn’t seen Viv since the night of my birthday party — the night she and Carter got engaged. They’d gotten on a plane to France the next day, and while Carter had returned to handle an important meeting for his budding software firm — and ended up working in the shop that awful day I found out about Lorenzo — Viv had stayed a few more days to let her mother drag her around French bridal shops.
Now, she was back, and she was glowing. While I’d already done plenty of squealing about it with her over the phone, I wanted to hear the full details again, live and in color.
“Well,” she said, pulling a folded piece of paper from her purse. “You know after your party, he took me to Ivory for drinks. It was such a clear, beautiful night that afterwards, he took me over to that little park, by the pier.”
I brought a hand up to my chest. “Ohhh, did they have the lights out?” I asked, referring to the thousands of tiny white lights they strung in the trees, making it so perfectly romantic.
Viv nodded. “Yeah. It was beautiful. He took me over to a bench, and pulled this paper out and handed it to me. He said it was not really a poetry piece, just some thoughts… and he wanted me to read it out loud.”
She took a deep breath, then cleared her throat as she unfolded the paper and began reading it to me. “Who knew that one heart could hold the key to unlocking four loves you didn’t even know you were missing? Buried by hurt from my mother, unfairly withheld from my brother. I pushed hers away because I was terrified, and for myself, I just wasn’t that sure I deserved it. But she loved me back to a part of life I was scared to live. Effortlessly. Beautifully. She erased the fears, and loved me to a place where my perceived inadequacies didn’t exist. Carried me, on her back, to a place with the freedom not only to give love, but to receive it as well. Not just little portions either. Love in abundance, and I’m abundantly grateful to her. This time, I hope she accepts my gift.”
By the time she finished, Viv’s face was wet with tears. “And then… when I looked up, he was on one knee, and he was holding out the ring.”
She held up her hand, showing me the gorgeous white gold ring, with a diamond in the middle, surrounded by a halo of smaller chocolate diamonds.
“Oh, he did so good, this is beautiful Viv! And chocolate diamonds? I mean, come the hell on,” I said, taking her hand as I smiled down at the ring. “I’m so happy for you, cousin. Carter is such a good man, and you deserve somebody like that.”
“Thank you Charlie.” She threw her arms around me, pulling me into a hug before we sat back on the couch. “So… what has been happening with you and Nixon? Is everything still good?”
I nodded. Just a week ago, we’d made up from the whole “still married” thing, and with my divorce coming soon… we were free to just be. It felt beautiful.
“I have something else to tell you,” I said, grabbing her hands again.
She raised a wary eyebrow. “You have not discovered another auxiliary parent, have you?”
“No, fortunately.” I laughed, then shook my head.
Viv had been pissed when I shared the news about Lorenzo with her. Over the phone, I heard her break into a string of French curses, and I suspected that the only reason she was back stateside was because of disgust with her mother for being in on the secret. My mother was still bouncing around Europe and Asia, avoiding coming home, probably because she knew I would want to talk.
Viv smiled. “Okay, well lay it on me, then.”
I took a deep breath, then bit my bottom lip, trying to quell the extreme urge to break into a huge smile. “Well… in about a week and a half, I have a really important appointment.”
“Alright…”
“With a doctor.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And Nixon is coming with me…”
Viv’s eyes went wide, and her hand flew up to cover her mouth as it dropped open. “Oh my goodness, you are having a baby?!” When I nodded, Viv threw her arms around me again, drawing me close and squeezing me tight. “Charlie that is such beautiful news! How are you feeling? Is Nixon excited? I know he is excited!”
“He is,” I confirmed. “We haven’t really started telling people yet, but I think he told his dad. Try not to tell Carter yet though, I think Nixon wants to be the one to tell him.”
“My lips are sealed… as long as you zip yours as well.”
I tipped my head to the side in confusion. “Viv… what do you mean?”
She leaned forward, giving me a conspiratorial smile. “Well… Carter does not know yet, but… me too.”
— & —
“What if there isn’t a heartbeat?”
I posed that question staring straight up at the ceiling as I traced imaginary patterns on the textured surface. All morning, my hands had been shaking, my nerves on edge… and now that we were in the obstetrician’s office, and I was sittin
g on the exam chair waiting for the doctor… it wasn’t any better.
Nixon had already dragged his chair close to sit beside me, but now he stood, taking my trembling hand in his. “Don’t think like that, baby.” He lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing my fingers. “It’s fine. We’ll be okay. No matter what… we’ll be okay.”
I nodded, even though I didn’t agree. Who were we kidding? We would both be a wreck if—
“Good morning,” the doctor sang as she came into the room. The fact that she was a black woman somewhat alleviated my anxiety. Somehow, she already just felt… familiar. “I’m Dr. Portia Morris, and I’ll be looking after mom and baby.” She looked between Nixon and I with a smile. “Okay… so which one of you is Charlie, and which one is Nixon?”
I grinned. “I’m Charlie, he’s Nixon.”
Dr. Morris winked at me, then reached to shake my hand, then his.
“Let’s get started, shall we?”
We’d already done the paperwork, checked vitals, and all of that, so the last thing to do was what I was most scared to do. Listening for the heartbeat.
Dr. Morris spread the warm liquid over my stomach, then pressed the wand of the fetal Doppler to my skin. A few seconds of staticy white noise passed, but no heartbeat. I was about two seconds away from bursting into tears when she shifted the wand, and pressed something on the machine, and suddenly the rhythmic sound of a heartbeat filled the room. Tears of relief immediately sprang to my eyes, but that relief was short-lived when I glanced up at the Dr’s face. Her face creased with what appeared to be concern, she shook her head as she pulled the wand away from my belly, bathing the room in silence.
“Dr. Morris, is something wrong?”
Nixon asked the question that I couldn’t, because of the lump of terror wedged in my throat. His voice held a hint of panic as well, but Dr. Morris was calm and collected as she switched the on screen of the larger machine in the room.
“We’re going to find out,” she said in a soothing voice, smiling between Nixon and I again as she pulled out a different wand. This time, she connected to the ultrasound machine, and Nix’s and my eyes were glued to the monitor as she pressed the wand to my stomach.
It took a moment or so of poking around, but suddenly the screen filled with the grainy black and white image of the inside of my uterus. It was an image Nix and I had seen before, several times. We were used to the greyish field that covered most of the screen, punctuated by a bubble of black — the amniotic sac — which held another little mound of grey — the baby.
Only… there were two bubbles of black, each holding a little mound of grey.
“I thought things sounded a little noisy in there,” Dr. Morris said, glancing at us with a big smile. “Congratulations guys. Twins.”
She said some other stuff. I’m sure she did. Confirmations that I was eight weeks along, that the babies were the right size, reminders to take my prenatal vitamins, all of that. She said it, and I heard it, but it was like her words were being filtered through a screen of disbelief that the first thing, that twin thing that she’d said… was real.
Twins.
Twins.
I finally breathed.
I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath, but when I released it, a flood of tears came with it, and Nixon wrapped me in his arms. When he pulled back, he kissed me deep, not caring that the doctor was still in the room, watching.
“Twins, huh?” He said, his own eyes a little glossy, and shining with happiness as he met my gaze. “Where the hell did that come from?”
I shrugged, then smiled. “Blame Morgan and Mellissa.”
— & —
“I know you’re in there old woman!”
I suppressed a grin, pushing past my mother into the door once she flung it open it open with a flourish, her face set into a scowl.
“Who the hell are you calling an old woman, little girl?” she asked, following me into her kitchen.
I grew up in this townhouse with her, and knew it well enough to know that if she was just getting back from another trip around the world, her counters and fridge would be full of treats. I grabbed a handful of Japanese White Rabbit candies, taking a seat at her counter to unwrap one and pop it into my mouth.
“You,” I said, once I’d finished that candy and started unwrapping another. “I knew it would get you to stop ignoring me and open the door.”
She rolled her eyes, then went back to her task of restoring order to her kitchen.
“You look good. Well rested. Did you have a good time?” I asked, watching as she arranged exotic teas into decorative tins. My mother was a woman of expensive tastes, and no shortage of hopeful suitors to fund her extravagant habits. But, thanks to her inheritance from my grandparents, and the boutique hotels she owned around the world — a habit picked up after I moved out — she had the means to do whatever she wanted without asking a man for a thing.
Nevertheless, her attitude was “Why spend my money when he wants to spend his?” in reference to whomever her international flavor of the quarter was.
“You don’t have to pretend to be interested in my trip, Charlie. I’ve already spoken to Morgan, and I guess you’re here to talk about that nasty rumor Lorenzo has spread, hmm?”
“Rumor? Give it a rest, momma. You had a few too many at my birthday party, and told a story I wasn’t supposed to hear. You’re caught.”
“Caught? Little girl, I was a grown woman when I went up that mountain, and I’m even more grown now. There wasn’t any catching to do.”
“Lorenzo caught you.” I lifted an eyebrow, waiting for her response.
“You are not too old for me to go get a belt, Charlene.”
I tipped my head to the side. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t risk hurting your grandbabies, now would you?” I asked, grinning at the expression on her face as I patted my belly.
“You won’t be pregnant forev— wait a minute…did you… did you say grandbabies?! As in more than one?!”
“Sure did… and you would have known when I found out three days ago, if you hadn’t been running around foreign countries trying to hide. You could have at least come on home so I could confront you about not telling me my father has been right in front of me my whole life.”
“Oh hush,” she said, smiling as she batted my hand out of the way to rest hers against my stomach. “You’re stressing my grandbabies with this nonsense.”
With a heavy sigh, I shook my head. “Okay, so let’s put it to rest. We aren’t just brushing this under the rug, momma. This stuff with Lorenzo… is that why you were pushing so hard for me to settle down, get married, all of that? Because you never had it?”
She looked up at me and smiled. “Yes. That is exactly why. I saw how happy your Aunt Morgan has been with Martin, and I wanted that for you. Don’t get me wrong… I have a great life… but I’ve never had a great love.”
“Never? Not even Lorenzo?”
My mother laughed, throwing her head back as she sat down at the counter. “Child, he wishes.” She propped her elbow in her hand, then shook her head. “Yes… I met your father up there in the mountains. I was twenty years old, and beautiful. He was twenty-five, and foreign, and fine, okay? He asked to buy me a mug of cocoa, and we sat in front of a big fire. Talked and laughed for hours and hours… and then we shared a night. The promises he made would make your head spin. The next morning, his wife and his girlfriend came knocking on my door looking for him, and I got my ass out of there.”
“Yikes.” I cringed, pushing away the rest of the pile of candy. “Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack. I had no interest in anything like that. I left, and moved on to the next country. A month later, I found out that I was pregnant, and I had to cut my globetrotting short. I moved back to the states. Settled right in this very townhouse, and a few months later… Lorenzo showed up at my door.”
“So… he followed you here?”
She smiled. “He sure did. Showed me his divorce
decree and all. See, I messed up and told him my real name. Should’ve told him my name was Carmen San Diego. He wouldn’t have gotten very far with that, would he?”
“That’s mean!”
“No it’s not,” she scoffed. “Girl, your daddy moved his ass in my house, sucking up my air, wearing down the cushions on my couch while he was screwing every Mary Sue and Sarah Jane on the block. While I was pregnant. Honey… your mama is too pretty for that nonsense. I kicked his ass to the curb, and he’s been sniffing behind me ever since.”
I nodded. “Okay… so I can understand why you wouldn’t want him as a partner, momma, I really do. But do you think it was fair to not tell me he was my father? You’re lucky you weren’t around the day I found out, cause I let his ass have it.” I paused for a moment, breathing a heavy sigh. “I think I’m past the anger now. I’m just really disappointed. I lost a baby, momma. It’s possible that it could have been prevented, if I’d known my heritage, could have given the doctor that information to screen for certain genetic abnormalities and things like that. Instead, I’m putting “unknown” in the father’s medical history section on those forms. But I could have known. I should have known. I’m not saying that’s what happened to Noah. We never got answers there, it was just… a tragedy. But what if momma? And you withheld this information from me because my dad was a hoe? Newsflash, ma, it’s not that uncommon.”
“It wasn’t because he was a “hoe”,” she said, using air quotes. “It was because I didn’t want my little girl growing up thinking a man like that was the norm. Have the first man you love be one that uses and disposes of women like rags, making them do all of that craziness, keeping up in drama? No, not if I could help it. I was fine with him being “the nice old guy that likes your mama”, but being a real influence on you? Uh-uh.”
I sighed heavily, then laid myself out on the counter. “I… I guess that makes sense. I still think you could have told me once I was grown though.”
Fall In Love Again (Serendipitous Love Book 3) Page 21