by Lux, Vivian
I plunged my arm randomly into the cluttered pile of fallen clothes. I shook out a wrinkled T-shirt and gasped when I looked down at it.
"There you are!" I crowed out loud to my empty, almost packed apartment. The fitted, faded lilac tee shirt had been a staple of my high school wardrobe and I thought I had lost it or left it at my parents' house. Instead it had been lying on the floor of my closet for nearly a year now.
I pulled it over my head. It was a little tight, but it still clung in all the right places. I turned to my vanity mirror and laughed. The dark purple lettering was a little cracked and faded, and there was a stain along the hem, but otherwise it was still the same shirt. A pair of hoop earrings and some overdone eyeliner and I would look just like the Gabi of five years ago.
Like nothing had changed.
Except everything had.
I shook my head at myself. I couldn't be getting sentimental about every single item of clothing, I didn't have time. Ben left Philly an hour and a half ago, meaning I had exactly half an hour to shove everything else in boxes before I had to go meet him at the house.
Closing the box, I shoved it towards the front door and opened it with my heel. It was too cool to wear just a T-shirt, so I zipped up a hoodie and hefted the load into my arms. My little silver hatchback was already stuffed to the gills. This was going to be the last box I could fit.
I was running loads up and down the walkway of our new place when Dave Matthews started playing in my pocket.
"Hey there!" I answered breathlessly, "you there?"
"Be there in about five minutes," Ben told me. I heard the grumbling voice say something. "Doc wants to know if there's anything to drink," he laughed.
"I'll swing by the liquor store on my way to meet you," I smiled. "See you in a minute."
When I reached the little Cape Cod, the guys had just arrived. I dashed up the newly installed ramp and unlocked the door, setting down the bourbon while Ben helped Doc settle himself into his chair.
"Welcome home, Doc!" I called from the front door.
Doc squinted up at me. "Hey there Gabs, you're a sight for sore eyes," he called. "This asshole had been chewing my ear off non-stop for the past two hours. Can you get him to stop running his mouth?"
"I can do that," I nodded, and hopped back over the railing. "Hey baby," I cooed at Ben, flicking my fingers up his chest and craning my neck up for a kiss.
His lips melded with mine, the warm softness forever a surprise. He kissed me long and deep, and I heard Doc sigh in relief. "Peace and fucking quiet," he rumbled good-naturedly.
I giggled and pulled away. "I did what I could," I patted Doc on the shoulder. "I can't help him when he's excited."
Doc maneuvered the chair to look up at us both. "What the hell are you excited about?" he demanded.
Ben laughed and clapped Doc on the shoulder. 'Because it's my turn now, bitch!"
"Your turn for what?"
"I'm gonna help you learn to walk again!" he crowed, sounding downright gleeful. "And I'm gonna do it just like you did with me. All your therapy appointments are going to be first thing in the fucking morning. See how you like having your lame ass dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn." Crash rubbed his hands together. "Oh yeah, it's fucking payback time."
Doc met my eyes and shook his head almost imperceptibly and I knew. His injuries were too extensive. He would never walk again. But he wouldn't tell this to Ben. Even now, with the tables turned, he would still try to protect his adopted son.
Instead he looked up at Ben and smiled. "Run your mouth a bit more, asshole. I'll run over your foot." He rolled himself forward threateningly and Ben danced away, laughing.
"Come on, you old fuck. Let's get you situated in your new home."
Doc sighed and looked at the Cape Cod. "I still say you're an idiot for doing this."
"It's mine to do with what I want," Ben replied, grabbing the handrails and giving Doc a firm shove up the ramp. "Everything you need is on the first floor. Rehab is just up the street and I will be able to take you to your appointments and all that shit."
"It's too much, you don't have to fucking take care of me."
"Yeah I do," Ben answered so firmly that even the ornery old doctor had to relent.
"I'll start grabbing your stuff," I called to them both. Doc's meager possessions were piled up in the back of Crash's pickup. Everything from his tiny studio apartment fit back there, ready to help him feel at home in his new home.
The first box was heavier that it looked. I hefted it up and started walking across the lawn, the sweat starting to prick along my hairline. I set it down and stood back up to unzip my hoodie and tie it around my waist. I l reached down to grab the box again, and when I started towards the door, I saw Ben standing stock still in the middle of it, his wide shoulders nearly touching the doorframe. He was staring at me, his mouth slightly agape.
"What's up?" I asked him. He was looking at me like he had seen a ghost.
As I came up the ramp, he didn't say anything. Only took the box from me and set it down. His finger traced down the side of my cheek as his lips worked silently, his eyes darting everywhere on my face.
"What?" I demanded. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because," he said softly, his voice full of pain and wonder, "I remember you."
The words knocked me breathless. I froze in place, letting him touch me, stare at me, wonder over me, afraid that if I moved, that fragile thread of memory that suddenly linked us would snap. He was fingering the collar of my T-shirt and I heard him swallowing hard. "You wore this, this shirt. This is how I remember you," his eyes moved back up to me face. "Holy shit, you're Gabi."
"I'm Gabi," I repeated softly.
"I used to see you in the sophomore hallway when I passed through on my way to gym." He swallowed and his throat sounded dry. I felt hot tears pricking at the back of my eyelids.
"I remember seeing you too," I choked. "Ben, are you sure, you can really remember me now?"
He kept shaking his head like he was trying to clear it. "I can," he said. "I remember...remember liking you."
I burst out laughing. "Well that's good."
"But Gabi...?"
"Yes Ben?" I focused on his lips because his eyes hurt too much.
He tipped my chin up slightly and I found myself forced into that piercing blue gaze. "I remember you now. But...does it even matter?"
I searched his face and couldn't find the answer. Why would it matter? His past, my past, none of that mattered now. The only thing I wanted to have with Ben Nelson was a future.
THE END
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