Event Mindset
People can always tell when someone wants something from them, and it’s horrible. It’s exactly how a woman feels when you tell her you to want to sleep with her before you’ve even met her. You are ignoring her personality and only judging one aspect of her. Cringe. Embarrassing. Horrible. People want to feel like more than their net worth and business value.
So when you go to marketing events, industry conferences or even out for drinks with your coworkers you need to approach these times with the right mindset.
You aren’t there to suck the knowledge out of them because that will make them turn against you. You need to start the process by GIVING value. Focus on sharing good times, fun, your knowledge and everything else that makes you unique. That is one of the big secrets to doing well when you first meet people.
You want to focus on having a good time and sharing your value - even if your value is just a round of drinks. I can’t tell you how many millionaires I know that will trade twenty minutes of their time for a drink.
Last year I got HOURS of alone time with a major billionaire just because I threw a good party with cool people. And if you are smart you will use this time to form a connection and get a way of contacting them in the future.
In just a few minutes you can get a phone number, email address or Skype contact, rather than blowing your opportunity and asking them for business advice in the first meeting.
Start building a social network around you. My business network is around five hundred people, but I only have about ten people in my inner circle of friends. Thirty people are in the next ring. Then a hundred around that. The rest are people that kind of know people in my circle.
The bigger your network of friends and connections, the more likely you are to get invited to the secret parties. I will tell you a big secret about conferences. Everyone sneaks up to someone’s room to smoke. Even if you don’t like to get down, this is where the baller deals happen. It’s not my scene anymore.
But one of my friends will be slipping upstairs and invite me along. I go up and suddenly I’m chilling with the biggest people at the event. One connection gets me into the room with ten powerful connections. There is something about being naughty together that brings people together.
Now if you’re the kind of person who’s going to stand in the corner and judge everyone, don’t go up. But if you can at least seem chill, then this is your MASSIVE opportunity to meet people. Once you get a reputation as someone that doesn’t smoke people will stop inviting you and your business will suffer.
I have this business friend who is the most unlikely guy for everyone at these secret meetings to be friends with. He’s been married for almost a decade and got a ton of kids. He just doesn’t seem like the cool bad boy type. He doesn’t really do anything bad, but he hangs with us when we hang out.
I never feel like he’s judging me when I’m throwing back drinks in a club in Vegas or a T.G.I. Friday's in Orlando. I feel like he’s living vicariously through me. I don’t know if he really feels that way or if I just project it, but I promote all of his products to my customers when he releases them.
Focus on getting along with everyone.
There is one other beginner mistake that you want to avoid. Don’t only talk to beginners or just to people on your level. Usually, at big events, there are three groups of people. There are the power brokers in their circle, there are the beginners in their circle, and there are the people in the middle who kind of have their own thing going on.
The problem with only talking to other new people in the business is that they are a closed network. You are unlikely to get through one of them and into the power brokers circle. They are all doing the same thing as you - meeting the easiest people at the event.
Remember your goal is to build a big network. Try to ignore the rules of the circles. Most of the big players that I know, I thought were idiots when I first met them. I can’t really tell if someone has something going on or nothing going on until I’ve talked to someone for at least fifteen minutes - unless they say something really needy.
You want to build alliances so try to connect with people that have something going on. Try to focus on connecting with other people that don’t seem needy. Even if they don’t have a lot going on NOW, they are the ones who will have it going on down the line.
If you’re focused on giving value, and you talk about anything OTHER than asking for business advice, people will enjoy your company. Whether they are the CEO of a company that competes with yours or a billionaire entrepreneur. Everybody’s the same on the inside.
Just give value and they’ll like you.
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Be Socially Savvy
So now you’re going to events or hanging out after work, and you know who you are. You have some basic strategy about the kinds of people you want to meet and how to approach them and seem like a chill person.
It’s time to take it to the next level.
The first thing you want to do is realize there is more going on than most people notice. I can tell you right now that most speakers don’t watch each other’s talks at conferences. So where are they? Most likely they are in the bar or someone’s room.
There is a lot you can learn from listening to all the talks at the event. You can apply a little strategy in advance, though. First, you make a list of all the speakers and players who are going to be at an event. You can even find all of their pictures online.
Then make a cheat sheet, so you know a little something about each of them. You can even look up their latest blog posts or buy one of their products. Now you know who you are looking for, and you have something to talk about on their favorite subject – themselves.
When people come up to me and want to talk about one of my blog posts or products that they liked I just love it - unless they want to complain. Then I hate them.
I have been deciding if I would share this advanced tactic with you or not. It’s crazy powerful and will take what I just taught you and turbocharge it.
Pick someone you want to connect with who is going to be at an event. Buy one of their products. When you talk to them at the event, be like hey X product that’s yours right? They’ll be like Oh yeah I made that! Then you tell them you loved the product and would be happy to do a video testimonial for them if they have a video camera handy.
AND BOOM!
Dude, that’s like solid gold for me. If you walk up to me after reading this and tell me that you have a ton of new friends or your business blew up because of one of my products AND you want to shoot a video testimonial for me. I will absolutely love you.
Here is a secret about all great marketers: We want our products to work for you. I love when someone emails me and says they found their soulmate using my book. That’s why I do what I do. I love helping people.
So take the time to buy one of my products. Implement it. Then tell me about the results when you see me around.
If you want to shortcut that process, you can even separate yourself from the crowd. Lots of people leave written reviews, and I appreciate every one of them. But when I read that review I’m not going to really know you. You can record a video talking about how this book is awesome and changed your life. That video with your face will stick in my mind forever. This works on any Amazon product. People always read their reviews, but the videos get remembered.
I’m easy to find because I use my real picture and my real name and I am usually drinking a White Russian.
There are a few pitfalls you want to avoid while you’re networking and meeting the higher-level people you want to connect with. The first pitfall you want to avoid is social anchors.
That baseball guy I met a few years ago was cool at first, but I ended up spending ALL my time at that event with him and his wife. He unintentionally kept me from meeting more people. I only invested in that one relationship. His business didn’t really go anywhere, leaving me with one connection on the way down rather than the way up
. Foolishly, I went all-in on that connection. I was too busy making friends to remember that I wanted to build a business - and that takes a lot of connections.
I know one guy who is obsessed with going to bed by 9 pm. He always says he needs to get his beauty sleep and then disappears early. He misses all the parties, late night drunk talk, and connections that happen at night. His priority at events is all wrong.
You want to make a lot of connections, and you need to realize that most of them happen in the dark of the night. You would be surprised at the people who like to party the hardest. I don’t want to name names in this section, but there are a LOT of married, small town guys who rage with me under the table at events. And the scariest thing is when they bring their wives to events.
One of my friends is like the most Middle America guy of all time, but he likes to party. And his wife can drink everyone I know under the table. Don’t miss out on the drinking. Even if you don’t drink that’s fine; you can be a designated driver. To people like me, that’s solid gold.
That’s a GREAT way to bring value to an event. Now you’ve raged with me AND done me a favor? Of course, I’ll give you more of my time now, plus you have a captive audience when we are in the car together.
You might feel like I've lost you a little bit because not everyone goes to Internet marketing conferences. These are key principals that apply to other industries, networking events, and even your regular after-work drinks. If you’re a total cubicle guy right now, that’s ok. You can go to meetup.com events and practice networking there. Or try the local Rotary club or chamber of commerce. There are TONS of networking opportunities for you no matter what your current industry.
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Purchase Street Cred
Here is something that a lot of my customers completely miss out on. Every once in a while, I will have a big bill coming up so I’ll decide to offer coaching for some quick cash. Usually, a week later I’m like “what was I thinking I hate selling my time!”
The last time I did this I put together a crazy offer for 5k. Now that’s a lot of money, but it was a whole program where you were guaranteed to make 20k. I would work with you until you did. I only got two replies, and they both sucked so I didn’t take on a student. But listen: this isn’t a story about me trying to sell you coaching! It’s about the fact that if you buy my high-level coaching, you get to party with me at events.
I was once speaking at an event in Las Vegas, and I offered a bonus to anyone who bought a ticket through me. The tickets were only around $100. If you bought through me I would bring you to a private party I was throwing in VIP at a club the night before the event.
All the people going were millionaire business owners who were going to have everyone at the event fighting for their time the next day. This was the chance of a lifetime. I can tell you right now that we spent over 5k in the club, but nobody bought a ticket through me. My customer base completely missed that opportunity. If just one person had purchased a ticket through me, they would have had access to the ultimate inner circle.
Instead, one person emailed my friend to complain that I talked about being drunk in my email. It’s funny. The best opportunities I mail out to over 7,000 customers never get any takers, but when for the same price I promote some training course or piece of software I sell a LOT. Because these people don’t see the offer behind the offer.
Friendship with me basically guarantees you business success, because my friends and I all take care of each other. I can’t recommend buying small one-on-one coaching packages enough. When I was first starting out, I hired a coach to help me grow my business. He was expensive, but when I went to an event with him I was able to drop his name all day long, and it opened doors for me to people that I’m still close with almost a decade later.
If I take on a one-on-one coaching client, I tend to stay in contact with them for years. If you had purchased that big coaching program, I just offered a while ago. One where you were GUARANTEED to quadruple your money, I would have introduced you to everyone I know at the next event where I saw you.
These days I make people fill out an application before I even discuss long-term coaching. You can still grab an hour of phone time with me now, but that is going to disappear very soon. I’m just doing some research and want to connect with readers like you.
This isn’t just about buying coaching from me. This is about seeing the value in buying coaching from all the amazing people out there that you admire. This is a principle that works to connect you with a lot of amazing people. If you want to grow your business, finding a mentor can help you. This is one of the easiest ways to find one.
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Build a Relationship
Have you ever read one of those OKCupid dating profiles where they say they like to have fun?
It seems like such a nothing statement. Everyone has a different definition of fun, and each person will interpret fun in a different way. You want to give people the kind of fun that they like.
Try to bring fun and positive energy and good vibes into your relationships. It’s not that hard to stand out at a conference filled with super boring dweebs. You don’t have to be cool because you can get away with just not being boring. I know a TON of people who do that.
The most important thing is not to judge people and not to talk down to anyone.
Some people meet me and ignore me until they realize who I am or who my partners are. This doesn’t exactly endear them to me.
If you start out just focused on having fun and finding people you like to chill with, you are going to dominate at events. When you are interacting with people, just focus on listening to them and building a relationship.
I know this guy whose dad is a famous marketer. I don’t really know who his dad is, but when I was talking to him, all these people walked up to us and kind of ignored us until they found out his last name. Then they started kissing his butt, and he got really upset. I totally understand why.
It sucks when people don’t care who you are until they realize what you can do for them. You don’t always have to talk about business. I talked to him about TED talks and golf, which he was actually interested in.
People just want to be heard and treated like they matter as people.
It’s amazing how many people don’t get that. I’m not my bank account, and I’m not my latest product. I really hate it when I talk to someone, and they have no interest in my personal life. That really annoys me. I tell someone I’m dating a great woman who is really special, and two minutes later they want to talk about a product or something. If you let me ramble on about my kids, then I’ll really like you. It might be boring to you (hopefully not, my kids are usually doing cool stuff!) but you are building up goodwill.
I always make sure to connect with other people’s wives. They like me because most people ignore them. One of my partners is a super religious Mormon. He got married when he was quite young and has four children with his awesome wife. I made sure that I talked to her right away and told her what I’m really about. I wanted her to get a chance to judge me for my actual philosophies and who I am as a person.
A lot of times people hear that I write dating books and immediately that gets a bad vibe. So I spent twenty minutes telling her how I believe in true love and how honesty is one of my core relationship principles. I told her how I write books for women to help them find the man of their dreams and explained the science and research that went into those books. I have helped thousands of women find true love.
This lady is really cool, and I like when I get to talk to her. She’s such a nice woman, but I also know that if she and her husband are on the drive home, and she tells him she isn’t comfortable with my products – any project I want to do with him dead in the water.
I hope I'm clear here.
This isn’t about manipulation. It’s about treating people right. If someone brings their wife to an event, talk to her!
And do you know what married women at boring
business conferences love to talk about? Anything other than business. I have two nieces and two nephews that I love, in addition to my kids. They are all awesome. So I like to talk to wives about their children and then I show pictures of my kids and nieces and nephews when they show pictures of theirs.
Now I have an advocate when I’m not around. She’ll tell her husband that I’m a nice guy - and that’s a good thing. Most business is built upon trust and people liking you. If someone’s wife likes you, then that’s a very good thing.
Now sometimes the wife is the marketer, so I talk to the bored husband. He’s got a life and a career and is interesting in his own way. Sometimes he just wants to swap pictures of his kids too, and if not – well, I didn’t watch all that football for nothing.
Most importantly, when you are talking to people at events, or anywhere in life, listen to them. Close your mouth until they ask you about your stuff. I try to do only twenty percent of the talking when I first meet someone. Give people the room to let you know what THEY want to talk about.
If you just listen to people, they will usually tell you exactly how to build a friendship with them.
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From Favors to Networking
I know all these lessons about favors seemed like a strange detour. How can we turn this idea of favors and giving value into a real business? Well, when I go to an event, I always have a plan. I figure out what the top people want rather than what they have. I start meeting people and as soon as I meet two people who can help each other I introduce them. Connecting people is very valuable. People I have connected have generated tens of millions of dollars from those introductions. Do you think they forgot about the guy that brought them together? No way.
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