by Paty Jager
“He isn’t alone with you. Colin and I are here.” Shayla grasped her hand and kissed it. “We’ll always be with you momma.”
“Aye, darlin’ ye will always be in my heart.” The knowledge that her children loved her filled her heart. But a part of her had been empty for some time now.
Had she been a spinster and never known the love of a man, she wouldn’t even know it was missing. But she’d known the love between a man and a woman.
And too many nights lately, she’d lain awake thinking what it would be like to be wrapped in Ethan’s arms.
Chapter 14
Ethan rode his horse down the mountainside toward the Miller shack. He’d spent the last five Sundays reading and teaching numbers to the whole Miller family. They were quick, enthusiastic learners. He hadn’t brought up his job proposal, waiting for Aileen to make the choice. But he knew from her lessons, she would be an asset.
This Sunday he had a special surprise. He dismounted his horse and walked toward the shack. The cooler weather made him itch to get the stamp mill operating. October had come in mild. As the month stretched toward November, the air grew crisper. Heavy frost covered the ground in the morning. Snow would be falling soon.
He rubbed his gloved hands together. Should he spring the surprise on them now or wait?
The door flew open, and Shayla hugged his legs. “Hello, to you too,” he said, swinging her up into his arms. He loved her scent, molasses and something he couldn’t describe— perhaps the scent of all little girls. Her small arms hugging him gave Ethan a sense of worth. He carried her though the door and kicked it shut with his foot.
Aileen turned from the fire, her face flushed from the heat. Or from the sight of him? The thought made him want to cross the floor and pull her into his arms.
The last month-and-a-half tested his patience. He kept his distance. Well, as much as he could with them both leaning over a slate working numbers. Many times, he could have tilted his head and kissed her. His face and lower body warmed.
She’d kept her distance, yet, at times she couldn’t hide the desire in her eyes. It was damn hard to not take her in his arms and kiss her. Many nights he lay awake thinking he’d like to have her beside him.
“You’re going to finish the book today,” Colin said, drawing his attention from the woman. “Do you have something else to read?”
They’d all pleaded for more than one chapter a Sunday, and truth be told, he enjoyed staying longer as he read extra chapters.
“I plan to bring several books next week. You can each pick one to read yourself.” Excitement lit the children’s eyes, but Aileen dropped her lashes, hiding her thoughts.
“I have another surprise today.” He rubbed his hands together. “Everyone bundle up, we’re going for a walk.”
The kids scurried to gather their coats and hats. Aileen took her time crossing the room and snatching a shawl from the hook by the door.
“Don’t you have anything warmer?” he asked. The wind on the way over had penetrated his oilskin.
“Only the coat ah use when workin’ the mine.” She sounded offended.
“Put that on. No one will see you.”
She questioned him with her eyes, but grabbed the heavy wool coat hanging on the peg below. She slid her arms in the sleeves of the coat and wrapped the shawl over her head.
He smiled and waved his hand toward the door for the kids to exit. Ethan put a hand on Aileen’s back as she walked out the door ahead of him. Her head swiveled, her light green eyes flashed with desire as she stared back at him. He swallowed and drew his hand from her person. Even with the wool coat and her clothing, he’d felt connected to her.
“Head to the mill,” he called to Colin. The mill was done. They’d placed the final stamp in place last night. Monday, each miner would start on the tracks to haul their diggings to the mill.
He wanted to show his accomplishment to Aileen. He’d thought about it all night. His brothers and the workers had patted him on the back congratulating him on completing the project in record time. But he wanted only one person’s approval. Ethan captured her hand, tucking it in the crook of his arm.
Her steps faltered as she peered into his face. He grinned and patted her hand.
“Are ye sure ye want to be seen escortin’ me?” Her warm voice low enough only he could hear.
“Aileen, I’d escort you anywhere you want to go.” When she scowled, he couldn’t help but laugh. Her worries wouldn’t make the day any less bright.
They rounded the bend. Her intake of breath told him she hadn’t once ventured around the mountain arm to see the progress at the site.
“It holds four stamps. They’re twelve hundred pounds each.”
Aileen turned to Ethan. The pride in his voice echoed in his stance and the glint in his eyes. She glanced down at how his hand rested on hers. He wanted to show her this. Her knees weakened at the implication.
“Why?” she asked on a whoosh of air that constricted her chest.
“Why what?” His dark eyes studied her face. She tried not to show her emotions, but it was hard when her heart banged against her ribs.
“Why did ye brin’ me here to see this?” Even as she asked, she half-feared the answer.
“Because I want you to see what leasing your land will do for your family.” He grasped her hand and pulled her forward. Shayla stood at the door. “Go on in,” he waved. Her lassie didn’t need a second invite. She darted through the door her brother had already opened.
“’Tis safe?” Aileen scanned the interior. The outside of the building loomed tall and impressive. The inside, filled with machinery and open to the ceiling, appeared monstrous. The four massive contraptions on the second level had rods pointing to the level above it.
“There is nothing loose or working at the moment. It’s safe for Shayla to look around.” Ethan climbed the stairs along the side of the building, pulling her behind him. “I’ll show you how this works.”
His enthusiasm and her curiosity won over her objections. They climbed to the third level.
“This,” he pointed to what looked like the end of a set of tracks, “is where the ore carts dump the rock. It falls down here,” he moved his hand over a grill. “Here the smaller rocks fall on through the grizzly to the bin above the stamps and the bigger rocks go through this crusher and fall down into the bin.” He grasped her hand, leading her back down to the second level. “These are the stamps. Those heavy steel weights at the bottom of the shafts crush the rock. See the pistons?” He pointed to the metal shafts protruding from the machine. “They move separate from one another, pushing the rock back and forth, like you chew food. They crush every bit separating the gold from the rock. Then,” he led her down to the bottom. “The rock is like sand when it gets here. We’ll coat these copper plates with mercury, and it will pick up the small pieces of gold. Then the rest washes through this.” He pointed to a large flat surface with riffles like a sluice box. “This will catch the larger pieces of gold and silver, if there is any.”
The satisfaction on his face made her smile. “Ye’ve done it. Built a stamp mill before the snow falls.”
He put an arm around her shoulders. “It feels good to know how many people are going to profit from this.”
Colin jumped down the short flight of steps and stopped in front of them. He glared at Ethan. “Get your arm off my ma.”
She started to slip out of Ethan’s grasp, but he merely shifted his hand lower on her arm, tucking her body next to his. His move didn’t threaten—it protected. Her mind buzzed. He protected her from her own flesh and blood.
Before she could think about the reasons, Ethan peered down at her. “Do you want me to take my arm from you?” His eyes didn’t spark with indignation. He asked her permission to hold her. His question also pushed her to make a decision between him and her son.
Aileen took a breath and studied her son. His stance reflected a body ready to spring into action. “Laddie, Mr. Halsey isn’
t hurtin’ me.”
“Give him time.” The coldness of the words chilled her heart. How did a mother teach her son not all men meant harm?
“Colin, I would never do anything intentional to harm anyone.” He stepped toward the boy, leaving her behind. “Have you seen me raise a hand to anyone while you’ve worked here? Since I’ve met your family have I done anything to hurt any of you?”
She watched Colin. His gaze darted between her and Ethan. If only she knew what went on inside his head. He’d watched Mr. Miller beat her senseless too many times and was too small to know his father never laid a hand on her. Heaven help her, she didn’t want him to grow up to hurt women. She’d witnessed his violent streak. She shivered, remembering.
“No. But that doesn’t mean you won’t.”
To her surprise, Ethan shook his head sadly, and turned from the boy.
“Let’s go see how much they have done on the office.” He took her hand and led her out of the mill. She liked the warmth and strength of his hand wrapped around hers. Colin glanced at their joined hands and rushed out the door. Instead of heading over the bridge to the office, he ran to the shack. The door thwacked behind him as he slammed it shut.
Shayla took hold of Ethan’s other hand, and the three of them crossed the bridge.
Ethan squeezed her hand. “He’ll come around. He’s got some demons to conquer before he’ll see I’m not going to harm you.”
“Ah hope yer right.” She shook off the doldrums Colin had instilled and stepped through the opening to the office. The room was the width of the building with a long, tall counter. Behind the counter another tall counter ran along the back wall. To the right of that stood a doorway.
“This will be the office.” He walked to a small swinging door at the end of the counter. “As you can see, customers will stay on that side. This back here will hold the scales and receipt books for each miner who brings in rock.” He pointed under the counter to a gaping hole. “I think I’ll put a safe in there to store our share of the gold or if a miner wants to wait to pick their portion up until their carts are empty.”
“Sounds like a grand idea.” Learning how the whole business would run interested her.
“And this…” he led her through the door behind the counter, “is the living quarters.”
The room was spacious. “Where’s the fireplace?” She scanned the room for a hearth.
“I’m putting in a wood stove. Less mess and more smoke goes up the chimney instead of into the room.”
“But what about cooking?” She’d seen a wood stove at the mercantile. The surface could only hold a pot of coffee.
“It’s out here.” He walked through a door to the left and into a smaller room. “This is the kitchen. Where you cook and eat.”
The smile on his face made her smile. It was a wonderful room with a waist-high drain board on one wall. A hand pump stood at one end of the counter.
“Is that…” she pumped it up and down and water came out the spout. “’Tis wonderful!”
“Fellowes’ wife suggested this room and the water pump. Have to give her credit, it was a good idea.” Ethan stood in the middle of the room a wide grin warmed his face and lit his eyes. “You like this?”
Did he bring her here to help sway her? The anticipation etched on his face gave him away.
“Ah’ve been teeterin’ toward sayin’ aye,” she raised her hand when he started to talk, “but ah’m still makin’ up ma mind.”
“Fair enough.” He took hold of her hand and drew her back through the main room. “Down here are three bedrooms and a water closet.”
She’d never heard of a water closet. Following him down a hallway, two doors stood on each side of the hall. He swung open a door. A bathtub took up most of the space in the small room. Not just any tub. She knew that dent and scratch. He’d put her bathtub in this room with a pump handle poised at one end.
“What am ah supposed to use for a bath if ah don’t move in here?” His presumptiveness raised her hackles and at the same time sent a rush of warmth through her. His actions proved how much he wanted her in this home.
“I’m hoping with one of your possessions already moved in, it won’t take you long to decide to move them all in.” He didn’t even blush. The man stared her straight in the eyes. She gazed deep, drinking in the honesty and hope looming in the dark orbs.
“You can fill the tub with cold water and only have to haul in the hot water.”
Aileen walked over to the tub and gave the handle a couple of pumps. Water squirted out, splashing against the bottom of the bathtub and running out a hole at the foot.
Taking the job would not only give her mind a good work, it would also provide her family with a wonderful place to live. She glanced over her shoulder at the man responsible for all this. He grinned and nodded as if he understood her thoughts.
Shayla tugged on her coat. “Momma, can I get Colin? I want to show him the water.”
Aileen nodded never taking her eyes from the man standing like a statue by the door. Shayla darted out the door, and Aileen walked across the small room.
“’Tis more than I ever dreamed o’ livin’ in.”
Ethan raised a hand and brushed his knuckles across her angel-kissed cheek. “Say you’ll take the job and move in here.” He moved his hand around behind her head and drew her face up to his. “Please.” Before good sense could tangle with his foolishness, he touched his lips to hers. Just a soft brush, a tantalizing tease to his senses. A barely audible sigh escaped her lips. It warmed his cheek and set his groin on fire. He didn’t want to scare her, but he needed a more satisfying taste. His other hand settled on her arm. He urged her body one step closer and tilted his head to place his lips against her sweet mouth.
He moaned as her body pressed against his. Her mouth opened slightly, and her lips moved like the wings of a butterfly over his closed ones.
The tip of her tongue traced the seam of his lips. His body snapped to attention. He wanted her more than anything he’d ever come across in his life. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Even through the wool coat, he felt her breasts meld against his chest. He never thought he’d care for a woman this way. Wanting her so badly he ached. He’d never kissed or made love to a woman—only used a prostitute now and then when the urge had consumed him.
Ethan pulled back from her demanding lips. Damn! He didn’t know the first thing about seducing a woman. And she was a practiced woman.
She looked up at him, the desire in her eyes quickly flashed to pain. Her arms unwrapped from his neck, and she took several steps back. “Ah’m sorry.” She blushed and turned from him.
“No. It wasn’t you.” He didn’t know what to say. His male pride couldn’t tell her he didn’t know how to proceed. She was interested, her kisses proved that.
“Ye dinnae have to explain, ah understand. Ah have a less than reputable past, and ah’m a mother o’ two.” She hurried out the door.
“Aileen. No. That’s— You don’t—” Damn! What did he say? By the time he came to his senses, she’d crossed the bridge and headed to the shack.
Colin hurried out to her. He glared at Ethan and entered the rickety building with his mother.
Should he go over and act like nothing happened? He licked his lips. There was no way he could pretend she hadn’t kissed him and tapped a passion he’d yet to experience. He couldn’t let her think she was undesirable, not when his body yearned to hold her.
Damn! How could kissing a woman open up so many problems?
He stared at the shack. His nose stung, and his eyes watered from the cold air blowing. He swiped the sleeve of his coat across his face. His horse stomped and blew air.
How pathetic he’d become to allow a kiss to make him timid. It was a damn good kiss. One he wouldn’t mind repeating.
He stalked toward the shack. He wouldn’t let something that should have made them closer stand in the way of reading to the family. He had a book to finish.
Eth
an raised his hand to knock on the door. It pulled open, and Colin glared at him.
“We’ve decided not to have you read.” His adolescent voice cracked as he tried to sound like the man of the house.
“I want to finish the book. I’m not going to let a small indiscretion on my part ruin the day for everyone.” There he said it. Made the whole incident his fault—he’d initiated the kiss. And after he finished the book, he’d ask Aileen to come outside where he could explain that ending the kiss had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him. He cringed. He’d never told anyone he was inept. He’d never been before.
He stepped forward, opening the door farther and stepping in the house. The boy bristled. Colin’s hostility invaded the small room.
“I told you not to come in.” Colin pushed the words out between clenched teeth.
“No, you said you didn’t want me to read. Fine, I don’t have to read.”
“Yes! Read!” Shayla shot forward, throwing her arms around his legs. “Yes! Read!”
He smiled down at the upturned face grinning at him and invading his heart even more. Ethan glanced to the far side of the room. Aileen had her back to him as she stirred a pot emitting a heady aroma in the room.
“I’d like to talk to you a minute.” He pried Shyala’s arms from around him and took a step toward Aileen. She jerked at his words, but didn’t turn to look at him.
“We’ve nothin’ to discuss.” She kept her gaze averted. That rankled.
Covering the three steps it took to put him directly behind her, he raised a hand to touch her cheek.
Colin sprang on Ethan’s back, his thin arm around his neck in a choke hold. “Don’t hurt her!”
“Damn it, boy!” The gangly child couldn’t hurt him, not bare-handed anyway, but it was frustrating. Ethan wrapped an arm behind him and scooped the boy from his back. He held Colin under his arm as the long legs kicked out in front of Ethan and small fists beat on his back.