by Paty Jager
“Anyone have time to pick up a lantern?” he asked, letting the others know they weren’t alone. He knew the isolation of being alone in the dark. He’d suffered through it many times.
“No,” Jeremy squeaked in a quivery voice.
“Shuffle your feet along the ground, Jeremy. That way you know if there’s anything in the way.”
Clay clutched Rachel to his chest, keeping her head up so he didn’t bang it into a wall, and hurried forward. Was she still alive? Her limp body sent icy spears of fear shooting into his heart. What would he do if she didn’t make it? How could he live with himself? He could carry her out of this mine, but what then? Who would know what to do for her? He couldn’t even see what her injuries were. Frustration swirled in his gut like a raging storm.
“It’s not so dark now,” Jeremy said.
“We must be getting near the entrance. Keep steady.” Clay encouraged. “Wake up, Rachel,” he whispered to the woman in his arms. “Come on, Doc, there’s a boy that needs you, and I need you.”
Clay sniffed. Fresh, warm air floated past his head. They’d reached the entrance of the mine. Sun heated his face, and shale rock slid under his feet.
The creak of leather and clatter of shale told him the horses stood to his right. He moved that direction. The click of a cocked rifle exploded like a bullet shot from a gun. He flinched. Who held a gun on them? Why?
His head pounded. He needed to face the gunman. He refused to be shot in the back. The weight of Rachel in his arms reminded him he couldn’t face the man. A bullet would strike her first. Fear for her and anger at his impotence raged making it hard to think. He was at a disadvantage with her in his arms. How could he shield her?
Chapter 35
“Turn around.”
Heat surged from Clay’s toes to his hair. He knew that voice. He’d grown up listening to it. Rage burned in his gut. He moved a foot to pivot toward the coward, and Rachel moaned. Rachel. She was innocent. He had to keep her out of this.
“Miles.” He turned slowly to a man he’d known since grammar school. “Let me put Rachel down. This is between you and me.”
“You took the woman I loved away, why should I let you keep your woman?”
The man’s high pitched accusation seared fear across his heart. He had to think fast, keep her safe.
“Because she’s not my woman. She’s the new doctor in the area.” He’d lie, his fists clenched as at his side, and kill if it kept Rachel alive.
Miles laughed. “I seen you two getting cozy.”
The clatter of shale scattered about ten feet in front of Clay. “Put her on the ground and step away.”
Clay clung to Rachel. His heart raced. Once he put her down he couldn’t protect her. May not be able to find her. Fear gripped him as tight as a noose around his throat.
“Now!”
Miles’s command jolted Clay into motion. He knelt, placed Rachel on the ground to his side, and rose to face his enemy.
He walked five paces toward the voice, keeping himself between Miles and Rachel.
“Why did you follow me?” He stopped, unsure of the distance between them.
“Why? Because of you seeing me in the mine I can’t live here, where I grew up, where my family is. You ruined everything for me by goin’ in that mine.” Miles’s voice rose excitedly.
“You threw the dynamite leaving me blind. You were trying to kill part of my family by blowing up that mine. I’ll not have you blaming any of that on me. You were the one trying to kill Aileen and her son.” His heart pounded, booming in his ears. Anger swift and blazing swept through him. No one hurt the people he loved.
Something scuffled to Clay’s left, but he kept his face toward Miles.
“I didn’t want Aileen to get hurt, but her boy just wouldn’t stay out of the way, then your brother.” Miles’s voice vibrated, and he pulled in a deep breath. “All I wanted was to have her care for me.”
Damn. If only he could see. He sensed Miles weakening. His body tensed. He listened, searching for a sound to give him a clue as to how close Miles stood.
An object cracked, and Miles yelped. Clay shot forward, ramming into the man, and wrestled him to the ground. He straddled Miles and drove his wrists into the jagged shale underneath him.
“I have some rope,” Jeremy said next to him.
Rough rope grazed Clay’s knuckles where he held Miles’s wrist. Clay let go when that arm was pulled over to the other one he held. He fingered the rope around the man’s wrists.
“He’s tied,” Jeremy said, patting his shoulder. “Go take care of Rachel. She looks like she’s coming around.”
“That’s him.”
Relief surged through his veins at Rachel’s whispered declaration. But who did she mean?
“What?” Clay stood and aimed his steps toward her voice.
“The man who’s been following us. That’s him.” She shivered as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Jeremy has him tied up—”
“Oh!” She cried out and doubled over.
Clay scooped Rachel in his arms. “What’s wrong?” Fear tore through his chest like a hot bullet.
Rachel clutched her cramping abdomen. “No!” Tears burned behind her eyes. The blow to her mid-section had started cramping. Her heart snapped. She couldn’t lose this baby. She wanted it as much as she wanted to breathe and be Clay’s wife No. Don’t do this to me. She sucked in a breath and willed her body to cling to the miracle they made. For all her talk, she wanted a baby. This baby. Clay’s.
Clay clasped her to him. “What’s wrong?” His fear hung in the air like a dense, grim fog.
“I’m, oh heavens…” She gulped air as another spasm wracked her body.
“Here’s your horse.” Jeremy brought Clay’s horse up next to him. “Take her back to Sumpter. We’ll be along as soon as we get a travois made to bring Harvey down.”
Clay clutched her to him as he climbed on the horse. Jeremy handed him the reins and led the horse to the trail.
Rachel clung to Clay as the horse started a sliding downward ascent off the mountain. How did she tell Clay she was losing their child? Guilt paced in her head as warmth seeped from her body. He’d learn when they dismounted that she was bleeding. He knew how she felt. No. How she thought she felt. Would he believe her that she didn’t want to lose their baby? Loved it already?
Pain twisted in her abdomen and shivers prickled her skin, beading it with perspiration. Anguish gripped her heart. What would Clay think of her? Could he still care for her? Love her? She moaned and his arms squeezed her closer. Tears ran down her face. Hiding her scarred face was nothing compared to the failure eating at her heart.
The ride took nearly an hour. Clay kissed her forehead and held her close. She was grateful for his silence. How did she tell a man his child, one he didn’t know about was lost? She shivered. One he believed she never wanted? The ache in her chest grew, rivaling the cramps in her abdomen. She wanted this baby. Wanted it more than she ever wanted anything. Even being a doctor.
Darcy jerked the front door open and ran down the steps when they approached the house.
“What’s wrong? Where’s the miner?”
“Rachel had an accident. Jeremy and the Tuppers are behind us.” Clay dismounted, still cradling her to him.
Darcy’s eyes widened at the blood soaking her riding skirt.
“Take me to the washroom.”
Clay’s arms stiffened. “You should be in a bed.”
“I need to clean up.”
“A little dirt can be cleaned off once you’re in bed.” He moved through the door.
“This isn’t dirt. It’s blood.”
He stopped, and his face paled to the color of the white wash on the house. “You didn’t tell me you were bleeding. We could have applied a bandage.”
Darcy tugged on his arm. “Come on, Clay, she’s the doctor and knows what she’s doing.”
Rachel sent her a silent thank you. Clay stood her in
the small washroom. He hung inside the door.
“Clay, I’ll explain things—” A pain doubled her over, and she sat on the chair in the corner.
He reached out to her. She wanted to settle into his strong arms and find the comfort she needed right now, but first she had to clean up and wait out the cramping.
“Clay, why don’t you make some coffee and a pot of tea? I’ll help Rachel get cleaned up.” Darcy turned him out the door.
Clay pivoted. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Rachel’s heart ached for him. He couldn’t see where the blood was coming from he didn’t know what had happened. But she wasn’t ready to go into the whole story.
“I’ll tell you everything when I’m cleaned up.” She pushed to her feet, walked the three steps to him and held his hand to her lips. “I promise.”
He nodded and shuffled down the hall. Darcy pulled her back into the washroom and shut the door. Her small fingers went to work unfastening buttons and slipping Rachel’s dirty clothes from her body.
Darcy pumped the water spout. “Did you know you were with child?”
Rachel nodded, clothed only in a waist length chemise, and stepped into the tub, scrubbing the red stains from her inner thighs with a cloth Darcy shoved into her hand. Tremors shook her hand.
“I figured it out this morning.” She sighed. That seemed like such a long time ago.
“You couldn’t be that far along. What caused this?” Darcy stood by the tub, her eyes full of the misery Rachel felt.
“A board hit me in the mid-section.” The tears she’d hidden from Clay slid down her cheeks in a torrent. “I wanted this baby. At first I didn’t. All I could think about was how it would interfere with being a doctor.” A cramp doubled her over. She clutched the side of the tub with one hand, avoiding Darcy’s gaze.
Salty tears ran along her lips. She licked them and slowly straightened as the pain subsided. “Now, I’d give up doctoring to be able to save this baby.”
Darcy rubbed her back. “I’ll get some cloth for between your legs and your bed clothes.”
She nodded and sat in the tub, watching the trickle of blood flow to the drain. A sob tore at her throat. She couldn’t stop the anger, humiliation, and sorrow twisting her heart and scolding her conscience.
Would Clay forgive her for her first thoughts? Could she forgive herself?
A light tap on the door stopped her sobs. She sucked in a deep breath and sniffed back her tears.
“Who’s there?” she asked in a shaky voice.
Clay opened the door and stuck his head in. “I can’t stand not knowing what’s wrong.” His voice was laced with anxiety. “And I brought some warm water.” He held out a bucket.
“Come here.” She held out her hand, grasping his when he came near. “Pull up the chair.” She waited as he found the chair and pulled it up next to the tub.
Holding hands, she stared into his face, thankful he couldn’t see the tears and her guilt.
Rachel took a big breath, let it out, and squeezed his hand.
“A board hit me in the stomach in the mine.”
He leaned toward her, and she put a hand on his chest.
“It was my fault. I was thinking we needed to put the boy on something to reduce further injury to his ribs and didn’t think about what was behind the boards.” She licked her lips. The hard part.
“Did the board cause damage inside you?” He held her hand so tight her knuckles ached.
“Yes, but not the kind you’re thinking. I-I, oh I wish this was under different circumstances.” Tears ran down her cheeks. She stared at his handsome face and wished she could tell him he would be a father instead…
“I discovered this morning, but had an inkling yesterday, that I am”—she took another deep breath—“was pregnant.”
A sob burst out at the joy on his face. Heavens, how she wished that look would be able to stay.
She knew when her words sank in. The joy vanished, and his brow furrowed.
“You mean…the blood…” He slid from the chair and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her chemise clad body against him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I-I…” He burrowed his face into her neck and cried. His arms wrapped around her in a strong embrace, and she joined her tears with his.
Spent and realizing the cramps had subsided, Rachel drew out of his arms. She had to tell him or she’d go crazy. She held his face in her hands, gulped air and started, “When I first discovered I was with child, I didn’t want it.” Anger at her first reaction and remorse weighed her heart.
Clay nodded, still taking in the fact she was—had been—pregnant. A boulder landed in his gut. Damn! Pain sparked in his chest for the life he’d never see. He placed his hands over Rachel’s to still their quivering. Her acknowledgement would have infuriated him if he hadn’t just witnessed firsthand her sorrow and loss. She was devastated to have lost this child. Her tender words, broken sobs, and clutching arms shattered his heart.
“But as the day lengthened and the idea settled, I couldn’t wait for you to get back so I could tell you. Then Mr. Tupper arrived and I had to go help.” Her hands tightened on his cheeks. “I thought I could do both, be a mother and a doctor, but after today… I don’t want to put you or me or our child through this again. I would give up my career to keep our family safe.”
Clay placed their hands against his chest. He leaned in and kissed her lips tasting the saltiness of tears.
“This didn’t happen because you’re a doctor. This happened because the timing was wrong. I would have loved to start a family now, with you, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
Banging sounded through the house. “I think Jeremy and Mr. Tupper have brought you a patient. Are you up to it, or should I send Jeremy to Baker City for someone else?”
The door opened. “Rachel, Jeremy’s here with that miner.” Darcy said, stepping into the room and closing the door.
Clay squeezed Rachel’s hands. He felt her strength waning.
“I’m too weak. The boy needs tending. Darcy, can you clean him up and stop anything that’s bleeding. After I’ve…” Rachel drew a deep breath. “After I’ve rested, I’ll take a look at him.”
“I’ll get them settled,” Darcy said, exiting the room.
Clay handed her the bucket of hot water. “You’re shivering. Use this to warm up. After a good night’s sleep we’ll discuss our future and wedding plans.”
Epilogue
Rachel fussed with the midnight blue satin dress Clay insisted she wear for their wedding. She thought it highly impractical, and that’s why he insisted she wear it. Of course, her mother and sister swooned over it, proclaiming it the perfect dress.
It didn’t matter to her what she wore. Clay wouldn’t see her walking down the stairs and up to his side. But he’d insisted on this dress because the stiff material rustled when she walked, and he’d know the soft inside would be caressing her skin. The thought warmed her to her toes. She also wore a beautiful silver bracelet made of small bells. He’d given it to her the night of the miscarriage and asked her to always wear it so he could find her in any crowd. She ran a finger over the colorful wildflower blossoms Darcy picked for her to carry.
Myrle poked her head in the door of the bedroom she and Clay would share the rest of their lives. “You ready? That man of yours is getting antsy.”
Rachel nodded. She couldn’t speak for the happiness squeezing her chest. She would be a doctor, a wife, and a mother, when the time came. Clay had insisted she couldn’t give up what she’d worked hard to attain. And deep down, she knew she could do all three successfully.
Myrle stepped into the room and picked up the hat with a veil she and Darcy had made. Rachel had stopped wearing makeup once word went around the small community that the doctor had a scar. No one looked twice at her. Rachel fingered the veil.
She shook her head. “I’m not wearing that.” She took a deep breath. It was time to stop hiding her scar and prove to herself and others t
hat the mark didn’t change who she was inside. She’d changed, grown more independent and resilient since she’d met Clay.
Myrle set the bonnet down and smiled. “You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Her fading eyes glistened with unshed tears.
Rachel hugged her. “Thank you for everything. You’re a wonderful friend.”
“Posh. Go on. That man is going to come storming in here if you don’t show soon.”
Rachel took a deep breath, tightened her grip on the flowers, and followed Myrle down the hall. At the top of the stairs, Darcy and little Sadie waited.
Her soon-to-be sister-in-law gave her a one-armed hug and started down the stairs, leading Sadie, who tossed flower petals out of a basket.
Rachel waited until they reached the bottom before she took hold of the front of her skirt and descended. She drew a fortifying breath and stepped into the parlor. The surgical table and other doctor accoutrements were stashed in a spare bedroom for the day.
A collective “ohhh” from the guests stalled her next step. Had she made a mistake not wearing the bonnet and veil? She scanned the crowd. No one stared at her in horror; smiles welcomed her. She smiled back and held her head high. Her scar would no longer rule her life.
She smiled at Mr. Tupper and Harvey sitting in the back row. The young man had proved to be an excellent patient and would soon be healed.
Her gaze sought Clay. He faced the door, his dimple and wide grin brightening his whole face. If Jeremy hadn’t thrown a rock at Miles, knocking the rifle from his hands, Clay might not be standing by a preacher waiting for her.
Rachel sent up a prayer for Jeremy’s fast thinking and smiled at Clay. She would never tire of gazing upon his face or feeling the strength of his embrace. She nodded to the locals she’d come to know, and she smiled at her new family—Hank, Gil, Darcy, Sadie, Jeremy, and Clay’s Pinkerton brother and his wife, Zeke and Maeve, who had arrived the night before.
She looked to the other side of the aisle. Her mother dabbed her eyes with a lacey handkerchief. Her father’s eyes glistened, but she couldn’t tell if it was from happiness or sorrow. He’d yet to talk to her about her choice.