The first thing I did when I landed was go and visit her. Christmas was in a couple of days, and I wanted to give her the present I’d bought for her while I was away.
“You’re back!” she smiled, embracing me warmly when she opened her front door. All the tension that had been between us seemed to have evaporated in my absence, and I thought that a little time apart must have been all we needed. She looked even more beautiful in person than she did in my memory, and it suddenly felt as though I had been away from her for longer than two weeks. She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me inside, leading me toward the kitchen. Admittedly, my thumb strayed a little and caressed the back of the soft skin on her hand. “Tell me all about it. I’m so jealous – did you learn how to surf?”
“Nah, surfing’s never going to be my thing. I reckon if the waves keep pushing you back to shore, you should take it as a sign that the ocean doesn’t want you there.”
Dropping my hand, she laughed. “I never thought about it like that before.”
“Here, I got you a souvenir slash Christmas present while I was there. It’s not wrapped sorry, I came straight over,” I told her handing her the white paper bag.
“David! Thank you. Do you want a drink? You must be tired. Did you seriously come straight here?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?” I shrugged.
“No reason,” she laughed, pulling out two cans of coke and handing me one before placing hers on the breakfast bar where we both sat. I watched as she opened up the bag and slid out the bundle of tissue paper inside that contained her gift, while I reached across the bench top to pull the tab on her drink for her.
Removing her gift from the wrapping, she turned it around in her fingers and studied the patterns painted around the edge of it.
“It’s a bangle,” I said, feeling stupid the moment the words popped out of my mouth.
“I know that,” she laughed, “I’m looking at it… is this all handmade?”
“Yeah, that’s what they reckon anyway. They carve the wood themselves and then paint all the little flowers on. Do you like it? I thought it was pretty and well – girls like jewellery right?”
Katrina laughed and nodded as she slid the bangle onto her wrist. “Thank you David. It’s beautiful,” she said, leaning across the table and kissing me on the cheek.
“You’re welcome,” I smiled, taking a swig of my drink. It was at that moment that her phone chose to beep with a message.
Pulling it out of her pocket, she swiped at the screen and grinned broadly the moment she saw it.
“What’s making you grin like that?” I asked. Wondering what had been happening in the two weeks I’d been gone.
“Oh, it’s nothing… it’s just Ethan. You remember him right?”
“Of course I do.”
“Yeah, well, we’ve kind of been hanging out a bit lately. He’s really nice.”
A slight pang shot through my chest and landed heavily in my stomach as I planted what I hoped was an unfazed smile on my face. I had no right to expect her not to move on from Ben, and I guess, in a way… me.
I cleared my throat and took another drink. “Yeah, he seems like a good guy. Is Tom weird about you hanging out with him?”
“No… oh, maybe a little. But there’s not much he can do about it.” She flicked the ring pull on her can with a twang as a quiet fell over us. “You’re not weird are you?”
“Um no. Why would I be?” I laughed, in this odd way that I hoped never to hear come out of my mouth again.
“I don’t know… Anyway, he’s coming over soon. He’s going to take me to a movie.”
“Oh really? Well, I should get going then. What time’s your bus?”
“He drives.”
“Of course he does. He’s actually finished school now isn’t he?”
“Yeah he is. He’s just waiting to see if he’s going to uni or not.”
“What’s he going to study?” I asked, making a great effort to sound interested.
This weird dreamy look came over her face, and I realised in that moment that I had lost her. Suddenly, I really regretted not having the guts to say yes to her. I didn’t want her to be Ethan’s. I wanted her to be mine.
“I’m sorry – what did you say?” I asked her, realising that her lips were moving, but I hadn’t heard a word that came out of them.
“I said - He’s actually thinking of becoming an optometrist,” she repeated.
“Really? That’s like an eye specialist right?”
“Yeah, and don’t laugh. I’m sure it would be very interesting.”
I held up my hands in mock surrender. “Hey, I’m not saying anything.”
“Good. Just be nice to him ok?”
“I will be, why would I be anything else?”
“Um, you beat up my last boyfriend.”
“Well, he was talking smack about you. I’m sure Ethan won’t do that. He seems like a good-guy Trina. I’m happy for you.” With that I got up and kissed her cheek goodbye, wanting to go back home and think through everything that had just happened.
I can’t believe that I was stupid enough to let her get away, and now that I’d realised it. It was too late.
***
Christmas came and went. We were still on school holidays until the beginning of February, so I divided my time between taking the driving lessons my mother had gotten me for Christmas and visiting with Trina…and Ethan.
They were becoming inseparable and I could tell by the way Trina looked at him that she was getting ready to call what they had the ‘L’ word. He’d even gotten her interested in triathlons, and together they’d joined the local club and started training.
It fucking hurt seeing her like that with someone else, especially since the bangle I bought her suddenly vanished from her wrist and was replaced with silver chain bracelet that had come from Ethan. I wanted so much to be an arsehole to him because of it, but he was a decent guy, and I had to accept that it was hard for him to have me around.
He actually asked me to hang out with them himself a few times and did his best to be really cool about me and Trina being so close. He even tried not to seem annoyed when he showed up to Trina’s house, and I was already there. I could tell he didn’t like that his girlfriend had a guy for a best friend, but he still made an effort. I couldn’t dislike him if I tried.
As per usual, I spilled my guts to my mum. Admitting to her that I had started to see Katrina as more than just a friend, but it was too late. She’d moved on.
“Well David, you could always just tell her how you feel.”
“Mum, that’s so not an option right now. She’s with Ethan, and she’s happy. Plus, I don’t know – I want to be with her, but I’m still scared I’ll stuff it up.”
“Then I guess you have to decide whether you can be the guy on the outside of her relationship, waiting for it to end. Or whether you just move on yourself. You’re young David. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you’re a good friend, then some way or another, Katrina is going to be a part of it.”
The more my mum and I talked the more I realised that now wasn’t the right time for me and Trina, and it was unfair for me to keep being the third wheel in her and Ethan’s relationship.
We even spoke about all the events of the past year, and I realised that half the shit that happened could have been avoided if I wasn’t behaving like a little kid and acting out because I was jealous while she was dating Ben, and he had most of her attention.
My mother helped me see that I only seemed to want Katrina when she was dating someone else. I was lucky Ethan played it cool when I was around because most guys would hate it and show it. If I didn’t learn to back off a little, then eventually, my behaviour would drive Katrina away from me.
She told me that if I wanted to keep Katrina in my life, then I was going to have to become the friend she deserved. I was going to have to spend time with other people and stop putting myself around Katrina’s relationship so much.
<
br /> “I’m not saying that you have to stop seeing her. I’m just saying that maybe you should give her the chance to come to you occasionally.”
“What if she doesn’t?” I asked, suddenly really worried.
“She will David. I guarantee it.”
Chapter Eight
February came quickly, and with it, the start of the school year, as well as my birthday. I’m one of the rare people who was born on the 29th of the month, so for a long time we have just celebrated my birthday on the last day of the month, and we’d have a party every leap year for my actual birth date.
We were currently in a leap year and after all the drama I’d been through at school, the last thing I wanted was to invite them all to a party. All I wanted, was the day off school, so I could go and get my license.
A few people remembered that there should have been a party and asked me about it, but most of them didn’t give a shit. I’d given up my friends the day I beat Ben up, and I didn’t even really care about the new group I had started to hang out with anymore.
We were in our final two years of school, and all I could think about was a way to get out of Western Sydney and away from these people. Some of the top-ranked students were invited to the Sydney University campus in Redfern to have a look around and see if it was somewhere we’d like to attend.
Along with UTS, it was the best university in Sydney, and I was in awe being there. Katrina had been invited along as well, but she wasn’t as excited about it as I was.
Ethan didn’t make it into university and was doing a TAFE, which stands for Tertiary and Further Education, course instead. It was a place you could go to when you didn’t qualify for university to do a course that would help further your career options. Some people used it as a stepping stone to get into University, while others went there to learn a trade or skill.
He was still interested in optometry, but now he was studying to be the technician who makes the glasses instead of the actual optometrist. So being Katrina, she thought long-term and was thinking of going to the UWS as it was closer to home and closer to him.
“You can catch the train here and still live at home you know,” I told her.
“No thanks, there is no way I am sitting in a train for an hour each way every day,” she commented.
I shrugged off her comment, grabbed her hand and dragged her around the campus one more time while I talked her ear off about how great it would be once high school was over.
“You really want high school over?” she asked.
“Yeah. Don’t you?”
“No. Because I won’t get to see you every day anymore,” she pouted.
“You’ll have Ethan. You'll be fine,” I told her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we walked slowly toward the café for something to eat.
“I love Ethan, but he’s my boyfriend. He’s not my best friend – he’s not you. I still need you, you know. I’ll always need you.”
I pulled her into a big hug. Hearing her say that was music to my ears. I needed her as well. I just couldn’t figure out how I needed her.
“We’ll still be friends Trina. There’s weekends and uni holidays. I live around the corner for crying out loud. You’re acting like when high school is over that I’m going to move across to the other side of the country.”
I loosened my arms, so she could step away from me, and I could see her face. She had her lips pressed together in a smile, and she wiped at her eyes while trying not to meet mine.
“Hey? Why are you getting upset?” I asked, furrowing my brow in concern as I peered into her face.
Shaking her head, she dropped her eyes. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried. You hardly come over anymore. I’m worried that once high school is finished, and you aren’t forced to spend time with me, then our friendship could be over.”
“Are you serious? Trina, I was trying to do the right thing and stay out of your and Ethan’s way. I’ve been trying to give you space for your relationship. I get to see you all the time at school and Ethan only gets you when you’re training together and on the weekends. I’m trying to be fair.”
“Fair? Going from visiting me all the time to only seeing me because of school, feels like you don’t want to be around me anymore. I miss you. I miss spending time with you.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Well you weren’t. I want you around me.”
“Ok, I’ll start coming around more often.”
For the next year, I was the continual third wheel in Katrina and Ethan’s relationship. It helped that he was someone I got along with easily, but I could tell he didn’t really want me there. Occasionally, Trina’s brother, Tom, hung out with us as well, so it wasn’t always just me.
It was an alright existence, when we all went to parties together, I tended to hook up with some random girl from another school. I was never going to make the mistake of making out with a girl from my school again. Not after what happened with Cassie, that kind of shit follows you around forever – people still talk about it.
Chapter Nine
Everything was going fine in my life until the next Christmas. I had been using my mum’s car because we didn’t have a spare. I wanted to get a job and save up for one myself, but my mum insisted that I focus on school.
I had been over at Trina’s house watching movies with everyone all day and when I came home, there was another car parked in our driveway. It looked fairly new, and I quickened my pace to find out who was visiting.
When I walked in the door, I could only find my mother in the laundry, doing the things that mums tend to do.
“Who’s here?” I asked her straight away.
“Well, hello to you too.”
“Sorry mum – Hi. Who’s car is outside?”
“Yours.”
“Are you serious?”
“I sure am.”
“Mum! Please don’t take this the wrong way, but how did you get the money for a car like that? I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but if you’re in debt for it, I’d rather you took it back and just got me an old bomb.”
She smiled gently at me. “You’re very sweet to worry about the cost David. But I assure you. I am not in debt one bit. It’s all yours, and it’s all paid for.”
“But mum? It’s too much.”
“No. It’s exactly what you deserve,” she said, touching me lightly on my cheek. “Now go and take it for a spin.”
I stood there for a moment, not sure if this was really happening. Was that car seriously mine?
“Go! The keys are on the bench top.”
All of a sudden, I sprang into action, went and grabbed my keys and just about bounded out the door.
Running my hands over the dark-blue paint job, I walked around the car to check it out properly, while my mum stood in the doorway, watching me happily.
As I slid inside, it still looked and smelled new. I practically sunk into the leather seats as I sat back, taking in my surroundings.
“Start her up!” my mother yelled, beaming at me.
Placing the key in the ignition, I turned it, my chest vibrating when the V8 engine grunted to life.
I couldn’t stop the smile from taking over my face. This was the most amazing thing I had ever been given. Immediately, I reversed out of the driveway and headed to Katrina’s house. She was the first person I wanted to take for a drive.
I pulled up to the front of the house and tooted the horn to get their attention. I saw the curtain in the lounge room pull to the side and Tom’s face poke through. Straight after that, the front door opened and out filed Tom, Katrina and Ethan.
“Nice ride mate,” Ethan said as they all looked over the car.
“You going to take us for a spin?” Tom asked, not waiting for my answer as he slid into the front passenger seat.
“Sure, hop in,” I laughed.
“It really is a nice car David. Is this your Christmas gift fr
om your mum?” asked Katrina as she slid into the backseat with Ethan.
“I guess so, it was waiting for me when I got home this afternoon.”
We went driving for maybe an hour, talking and listening to music. It felt great to have the freedom of my own car, and I was on a high for the rest of the afternoon.
When I got home, my mum used her phone and took some pictures of me with it. It seemed so strange to be enamoured over a tonne of metal, but I smiled proudly. I loved that car.
At maybe one o’clock in the morning, I was woken up by a loud banging on the front door. I could hear my mother get up and answer it, and I sat up to listen and make sure everything was alright.
“You gave the kid that car?!” the early-morning visitor yelled at my mother.
“Yes, I did. You gave it to me, and I gave it to him. I thought you’d be fine with it.”
“He’s a seventeen-year old kid. Give him your old car.”
“God, I should have known you’d react like this. I never should have sent you that picture. Can’t you just be happy for your son?”
“No I can’t. Tell him can’t have the car.”
“You lost the right to tell me what to do when you walked out of here. Go home. You’re drunk.”
“You’re an ungrateful bitch, and you’ve raised an ungrateful bastard of a son. I never should have given it to you. I’ll go home, and I’ll take the fucking car with me. I’m the one who won it. I’m the one who gets to say who drives it!” he slurred.
“This is a joke. You're not touching the car. The least you can do after deserting your son is to let him have it. It’s the first bit of ‘assistance’ you’ve given us in three years. Stop trying to cause trouble.”
“The car’s still in my name. I can take it if I want.”
“What happened Dan? Is your winning streak over and you’re not feeling so generous anymore?”
The Beauty in Between: Too Close (A Beautiful Series Novella) Page 6