by Casey Lane
Now I seriously wanted to lose my shit, but we had no time. No attackers were coming this way now, but that could change at any moment once those dead bodies got up.
Movement below caught my eye.
Correction, the security guard in the lobby must have detected me somehow because he was stumbling his way to the escalators. He was unable to keep his bloody head up, but he still seemed too damned eager for my liking.
Circling around the body of James Franco’s double, I didn’t waste a round on his carcass. He was down, and who knew what trouble we could run into on the way out of here. I might need every bullet.
Bubba and Medusa were awkwardly consoling Barbara over the loss of her friend. I had no idea how long they had been fighting James Franco’s doppelganger, but their eyes had lost that glaze of bloodlust fervor.
“Barbara.” I approached the sobbing woman, deciding not to freak her out about the man in the lobby coming our way. “I’m sorry for your friend, but we’re alive and I want us to stay that way. Come on; you can cry later, but right now we’ve got to run!”
Wiping at her eyes, Barbara got up and stumbled over to my side. She reached up a tentative hand to grab my dress, but I said, “I’ve got that dead guy’s blood all over my dress. Can you just stay right behind me?”
“Okay, thanks.” She sniffed pathetically and whispered, “What about Ram? We aren’t going to just leave him, are we?”
I shot her an annoyed look; the woman clearly had abandonment issues. “Hardly, although if you recall, he left us. They all did.”
Her brimming eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed. Using her sleeve to wipe away the rivulets of tears on her cheeks, she slowly nodded in acknowledgement of my blunt words.
“You watch behind us and let me know if I need to shoot anything. Oh, and try to remember I don’t have shoes on. You with me on this, Babs?”
“Yes.” Her voice strengthened and she stiffened her back, flinging back her blonde hair. “Yes, I am, Acadia.”
“Good.” I waited until she looked back towards the bar entrance and escalators to cover our rear. Facing the staring men, I made my decision. It wasn’t totally selfish. I needed their brute strength tonight, but I’d be getting them out of here at the same time. “Either of you bit or scratched?”
They looked at each other and then looked at me. Medusa shrugged and spoke for them both. “We’re good.”
I pointed my chin towards Rod. “Bubba, you smacked him accidentally in the head with a backswing of that pole. Can you and Medusa carry him somehow?” I started trotting further down the corridor towards the exit sign. “We gotta get moving.”
“Oh no, not his head!” Bubba Ray Dean flung his bloody pole like a javelin down the hall. Rushing over, he inspected Rod’s skull with a surprisingly deft touch. Nervously glancing back at the escalator, I was happy when Bubba swiftly scooped Rod up in his arms and got moving. “No blood, T-bone, but we are in such deep shit. Hurry, let’s call Doc.”
Cradling Rod as easily as an infant, Bubba started running. We followed, but then he veered off to the left into that short hallway towards the bank of elevators I’d ridden on what now seemed a lifetime ago.
“No, come with me!” I called after Bubba, at the same time Medusa yelled, “You know nothing can be done ‘cept wake him up and watch his eyes, or some shit, Ray Dean. I don’t think we should be runnin’ off callin’ Doc and informin’ him nothing.” Medusa came up next to me, over three hundred pounds of heaving, glaring menace. “Did you call me Medusa? You sure as hell better not have called me Bubba.”
“Uh…yeah. Sorry, it slipped out.” I motioned towards his wild snake hair, as understanding dawned they were worried about Rod having a concussion. These three monuments to testosterone must get into barroom brawls regularly together to fear repeated head blows.
Bubba was standing with his mouth half open and his brow screwed up in an undecided frown.
I tamped down my impatient anxiety. “Look, guys, in no time this hotel is going to be swarming with police. They are going to attempt to arrest those crazy freaks back there. I don’t know if you saw, but those bastards massacred almost everybody in the bar in less than five minutes. Maybe we should stay and help, but I don’t think the police will listen to us when we tell them a bunch of cannibal crazies ate all those customers. At the least, we’ll be hauled off to jail for questioning.” I lifted my hands. “It’s your call, but in jail or stuck up in a hotel room is not where I want to be, especially with Rod unconscious.” Seeing Bubba was wavering, I lied without hesitation. “Rod was coming home with me to spend the night because he wanted to see my farm. You can all come too. It will be safer there for the night or until all this is figured out.”
“See your farm?” T-bone’s dirty snicker was a low rumble. “First time I’ve ever heard it called that, but she’s right, Ray Dean.” He gave Ray Dean a significant look. “We do not, NOT, want to be caught here and girl’s got a gun.”
Barbara cried out, “I’m going with Acadia!”
I didn’t react to T-bone’s lewd humor or wait for Ray Dean to decide. “Good. Let’s go.”
Leading them at a fast clip, I was relieved when they followed. I constantly scanned the empty corridor ahead of us. It creeped me out how quiet it was out here. I kept to the middle of the hallway and kept my gun ready. According to the plaque on the wall, this was the West Banquet Rooms area. No events were being held on this side of the hotel tonight, as evidenced by the dimmed lights and closed doors we passed. Except for a long smear of blood on the wall, there were no signs of the crazies or anybody else.
Had any of them crossed the skybridge to the mall? At least it was late and the shops were closed, although not the restaurants and bars.
Spotting Bubba’s hastily thrown weapon on the floor, I said, “Barbara, do you want to grab Ray Dean’s pole?”
It was silent. I looked back to see why nobody answered. They were trading smirking glances, even Barbara this time.
Exasperated, I shouted, “His weapon, you bunch of immature degenerates!”
The three all laughed outright at my disgusted exclamation while Barbara ran over to pick up the metal piece of a broken barstool.
I kept moving, thinking I couldn’t really blame them for wanting to release some tension. Unfortunately, I was still too worried to enjoy a good chuckle. None of them saw what I did at the end. I pictured those twitching dead bodies. Barbara knew that man I tripped and fell on tried to bite me, but did she realize what it signified? I was having a hard enough time wrapping my head around what happened with the white shirts. Now I had to comprehend how this infection, or whatever it was, seemed to cause people that should be dead to…well, not die.
As we safely ran around the corner into another hall, I hesitated even admitting to myself what I suspected—it was nuts. Instead, I began to speculate about the people that had gotten out of the bar. Surely a few more than just us had escaped. I thought about the wounded making it home, only to turn into crazies later. What if the infection was seeping into me right now through my bloody clothes?
I slammed the door shut in my brain to block those anxious thoughts. I could analyze and worry to my heart’s content later when we were safely out of here.
“Barbara, will you dig the pack of anti-bacterial wipes out of my purse, please.”
They may not kill a pathogen, but at least I could clean my sticky hands.
She found them quickly and we all used several to clean up a little. I tried my best to wipe my gun off while we moved along, which ranked up there as one of the stupider things I’ve ever done, but it also made me feel better.
I said over my shoulder, “Barbara, it’s me again. Do you have a phone?”
She laughed a little, still sounding clogged up from crying so hard. “Yes, in my pocket. Do you want to use it?”
“I want you to use it.” I wasn’t releasing the gun for any reason. “Can you call 9-1-1 and warn the first responders what to expect?”
“Yes! Good idea.” She was overjoyed to be complying with requests of mine that didn’t strike terror into her soul. She held up her cell near my ear and we both listened to a few seconds of silence and then a recorded message clicked on.
Anxious blue eyes searched mine. “That’s not right.” Barbara dialed again with the same result. Her voice got very shrill when worried. “Do you think that means they’re getting overloaded with tons of calls from people here at the hotel?”
“Yeah, sure,” I replied calmly. There was no way of knowing, but I hoped it was only hotel people calling 9-1-1. I hoped the first responders understood what they were getting into and would take extra precautions to avoid getting eaten. I wanted to believe that other attacks weren’t taking place anywhere else, but that damned pragmatism kept popping up. After what we’d gone through, I wasn’t taking any chances, but kept my fears to myself for now.
We moved fast. We didn’t see another soul in this long corridor, either. I was surprised the men were willing to follow my lead so unconcernedly; we could have been on a Sunday jog. They were arguing as we ran. In the little time I had been around them, I already knew that wasn’t so unusual. What I couldn’t believe was that their argument was over Minnesota’s chances for a win at their next football game, which I gathered was tomorrow night in Atlanta.
As we reached the double doors leading to the open stairwell, Bubba stumbled behind me under his heavy load.
I stopped, panting a little. “Hey Bub…I mean Ray Dean. Do you need a hand carrying Rod the rest of the way to the car?”
“Sheeit, I can carry Ram like this for days, hell, for weeks! If I had to, I could carry his passed out ass all the way to the Metrodome and back,” he grinned slyly, red cheeks shiny from the wipes, “especially with the view I have.”
Before I could reply that astounding feat wouldn’t be necessary, Ray Dean sang out in a falsetto voice, “Somebody’s pretty little dress is ripped up the back. I see London and I see France…”
T-bone punched him in the arm.
I was about to thank him for that when T-bone said, “Ray Dean, why do you always, ALWAYS, have to run your big mouth and ruin things for the rest of us?”
Cursing, I asked, “Barbara, how far up the back is my dress ripped?”
“Oh! Er…up to your waist,” she went on cheerfully, “but at least your underwear is cute and only sort of see-through.”
I gritted my teeth as T-Bone strode up beside me with a broad smile. “Did I hear Bambi call you Arcade or somethin’?”
I ignored him and said to Ray Dean, “How’s Rod?”
Rod groaned a little. Ray Dean cheered while giving him a little toss in his arms. Rod’s head lolled. We all waited a beat, but the blonde man didn’t wake up completely. For Rod’s sake, I hoped he woke up soon or he may not survive Ray Dean’s brand of loving care.
T-bone pushed the bar and held the door wide open with one arm. He loomed above me with raised brows, a diamond stud in his ear the size of my thumbnail. It competed with the leering sparkle of his smile. “Don’t be shy. Why don’t you tell T-bone your name, pretty lady…”
I interrupted, “My name is Acadia, not Arcade. Acadia King. And stop talking in the third person, it’s disturbing.”
Ignoring Ray Dean’s guffaws, I leaned past T-bone, poking only my head out to scope the parking ramp. I glimpsed the taillights of a car as it turned down the exit ramp, but there were no people in sight. Unbelievably, our luck was still holding. I quickly turned to the men waiting behind me and busted them checking out my ass.
“Let me ask you boys a question.” Two sets of unabashed eyes rose reluctantly to my face. “Aren’t you the least bit worried about those freaks that attacked us? Don’t you have questions about what happened in that bar? Isn’t why they ripped people’s throats out and drank their blood like rabid hounds from hell a little more important than if you can see my damn underwear or not?”
Ray Dean spoke slowly, face frowning in thoughtful concentration while rocking his precious cargo, “Everyone knows mathematics ain’t my strong point, but wasn’t that three questions I just heard Acadia ask, T-bone?”
“I believe so, Ray Dean.” Gold teeth gleamed. “Now ain’t it just like a woman to have a tizzy about those big things in life which we cannot control, and not want us men to take time to appreciate the small things that make life worth livin’?”
Ray Dean hitched Rod in his arms. “Huh, T-bone. You talkin’ about them small things in life like Acadia here’s little black, see-through underpants?”
“I believe that’s exactly what I was talkin’ ‘bout, Ray Dean.”
Barbara giggled while I smacked my forehead and muttered, “Remind me again. Why, exactly, am I taking these two cretins with me?” I dropped my hand and glared at the men. “Where’s your car?”
There was no way the five of us were fitting in my borrowed Prius. These two enormous buttheads alone were the size of five regular guys.
They both stopped grinning and looked blank. “What car?”
I groaned. “You didn’t drive here? What about Rod?”
He muttered in Ray Dean’s arms.
Ray Dean beamed at me. “You see that? Ram hears you! Keep talkin’ to him, darlin’.”
For my sake, the longer Rod stayed passed out the better. I pretended not to hear Ray Dean and listened to T-Bone explain, “We took a limo from the airport. Ram’s truck is being delivered tomorrow. Me and Ray Dean, we flew here from Atlanta to meet up with Ram since he’s the new…”
I impatiently waved T-bone quiet, only caring about a vehicle, not their life history. “What about you, Babs?”
Ray Dean’s deep laughter boomed around us. He was giving T-bone a hard time about me ‘shining him on’ while Barbara answered contritely, “Sorry, I took a cab. I can still come to your farm though, too, right?” Her voice started rising over the men’s. “I live alone in Richfield and I’m so afraid to go home!”
Warding off further histrionics, I assured her, “Don’t worry; of course you’re coming to King Farm.” I was wondering if I could stuff Barbara into the Prius’s small cargo space to solve the space issue when I spied the blue airport shuttle bus. “Here, pass me that pole for a minute.”
Barbara handed it to me and I jumped up, slamming it into the security camera that I’d noticed earlier tonight when arriving. I cracked the casing. A few more bashes did the trick.
I returned the weapon to an astonished Babs and started walking quickly. She trotted behind. The men followed obediently. I was vaguely aware they were arguing back and forth again. This time it was about whether I was an uppity bitch or just a crazy bitch--the vote was divided, but my eyes were focused on the blue bus. The door stood invitingly open and the interior lights glowed softly, the same as it had when I’d left the parking ramp.
I didn’t hesitate. If the white shirt cult had arrived on this bus, we’d already been exposed to their crazy cooties. I’d lied repeatedly and shot two men tonight, what was a little grand theft shuttle in comparison? If the key was in the ignition, we were out of here.
Approaching the bus carefully, I looked all around for the driver. I got down and checked underneath the bus. Babs asked me anxiously what I was doing.
Down on all fours, I chided, “Are you watching our backs, Barbara?”
The men stopped their bantering long enough to wolf whistle. Ray Dean called out, “We’re sure watchin’ yours, Acadia, so don’t you worry none, darlin’!”
I flipped them off without looking their way while they laughed and Barbara complained, “It’s not like I can see past those two mountains!”
I stood up, brushing the loose pebbles from my palms. “That’s all right. It’ll take the crazies a while to eat them first. We’ll have plenty of warning.”
Barbara giggled when Ray Dean quickly did a little dance and swung his human load sideways to look over his shoulder. T-bone cracked his neck nervously, and his dark eyes darted in all directions.
“We’re good to go. Ray Dean, there’s a back bench, so you can lay Rod down.”
Rod mumbled and lifted his golden head slightly before groaning and flopping back down. Ray Dean shot me a triumphant “I told you so!” look as he passed me, followed by Barbara.
I smiled, but more at the fact they showed no reaction to me jacking a bus.
I bent and peered out down the stairs. “T-bone, you drive, okay?”
He stood outside the shuttle with his bulging arms crossed, eyeing me with a dark stare. “You askin’ me to drive this bus because I’m a brother? You think all black men are born knowin’ how to drive a bus or somethin’?”
I replied sweetly, “Of course that’s why I asked. I also figured if we’re pulled over, this uppity white bitch can tell the cops that you kidnapped us and stole the bus. If I’m real lucky, they’ll shoot you and save me the frickin’ aggravation of having to do it later.” I pointed to the driver seat. “Now climb up here and drive the damn bus!”
Ray Dean’s laughter boomed in the small shuttle. “Better listen before she leaves your black ass for them crazy biters to nibble on”
T-bone held my stare, but after a moment, he heaved himself into the driver’s seat and started the bus, mumbling under his breath the entire time. Ray Dean and Barbara cheered from the back. I sat up by T-bone to give him directions.
As we exited the parking ramp, I looked over and saw a few police cars had already arrived and were parked near the front entrance to the hotel. Eerily, there wasn’t anyone outside or any movement inside the glass-fronted lobby. I wondered for the first time what had become of the hotel employees--the doormen, bellhops, and desk staff. T-bone turned the bus, accelerated, and we left behind the Radisson Blu Hotel Hell.
I had T-bone head the shuttle south down Hwy 77. We’d cut across the southeastern suburbs of Eagan and Rosemount to get to the farm. It was a slower route, but I wanted to stay clear of I-494 east by the airports. I was guessing that was where the white shirts had come from, so I wasn’t going near there. Either airport could be full of rabid crazies like the white shirts. Those roads could be full of fleeing cars. I’ve seen the movies and read the books.