by Casey Lane
I’d left the library and was on my way upstairs when I was dismayed to realize three things that stopped me in my tracks. My gun was still on the desk, Rex hadn’t followed me from the library, and last night was the first time I’d fallen asleep since Lawson died without first whispering that I loved and missed him.
Turning back to the library, I heard Deb’s raised voice before I reached the open door. Shocked, I peered cautiously around the door. Rod was still sitting in his chair, his shining blonde head bent over Rex’s pointed snout resting on his thigh. The Australian Shepherd was ecstatically smiling as Rod’s hand rhythmically stroked up and down his back. I couldn’t see Rod’s expression, but he couldn’t be as happy as my dog. Not when the man had Deb standing over his chair and ripping into him.
“… is fragile and doesn’t need someone like you playing with her feelings. She is still very much in love with her husband, Lawson, who was a wonderful man. You could never replace him, but your type of man can be very flattering to somebody vulnerable and lonely. You’re much too young for her, anyway, so why don’t you leave her alone.” Hands balled in fists, Deb sneered, “Go screw around with someone else like that little whore Barbara, or better yet, take your buddies and leave this farm today!”
I guess Rod was fibbing when he said it was by unanimous vote that he was invited to stay here and be my bodyguard. I was amazed at Deb’s mean tone. I may not want Rod pursuing me, but Deb’s interference in my life behind my back was not cool, no matter how good her intentions.
Without looking up from my dog, Rod said lightly, “Are we talking about the same Acadia? The Acadia that I know isn’t a fragile woman, but bold and determined.” There was cool amusement in his voice. “Your friend may surprise you, Deb.”
Even from across the room, I could see Deb was shaking in her anger. “Oh, you can be as arrogant as you want, but I think I know Acadia a little better than some football player she picked up at a bar last night.”
Rod lifted his head and I was surprised he didn’t appear insulted. Instead, he looked up into Deb’s angry eyes and asked quietly, “Are we really talking about Acadia here, or are we talking about your feelings, Deb?”
She reared back in shock, and then recovered to point at herself with both hands against her chest. “My feelings! What do you mean by that?”
Rod patted Rex on the head a final time and then slowly stood up while Deb took a quick step back.
Rod shook his head, a sympathetic smile on his handsome face. “You don’t have to be scared, Deb. It’s only obvious to me because I’m an interested, objective party, but I don’t think anybody else suspects your secret, especially not Acadia.”
Deb was shaking, but she scoffed, “I’m not scared of you. What secret?” Her voice was high. “I don’t have any secrets, and certainly none that you would know!”
Rod shrugged expansively. “My mistake then.”
“No!” Deb’s high voice rose to shrill, her fists smacking the outside of her thighs. “I demand you tell me what you meant by saying that!”
After a slight hesitation, Rod replied gently, “You’re still in love with Lawson King, too, and you still miss him. You can’t let go, and for some reason, you don’t want Acadia letting go either.”
Deb covered her face with both hands and burst into noisy tears. Struck dumb by what Rod had revealed, I couldn’t move for a moment. I numbly watched Rod lightly embrace my crying friend while patting her heaving shoulders and murmuring that everything would be all right.
I wasn’t so sure it would be. Soundlessly walking away, I started running once I hit the stairs. Safe in my room, I went through my morning rituals on auto pilot while my mind raced in a fury of conflicted emotions. I was reeling that my friend had been in love with, was still in love with, my husband, and that I had never suspected.
For how long had this been going on? Did Lawson know? Did he take advantage of that love or encourage Deb to love him? Was this why Deb never dated other men?
For the first time, I couldn’t recall every moment I spent with Law with any clarity. For the first time, I questioned if he had been faithful to me during our entire marriage. Angrily, I wanted to punch Deb for planting those hateful thoughts about the man I never had reason to doubt or question. I wanted to scream out in agony how unfair it was that Law wasn’t here to answer my dumb questions with reassurances of his love, and that he never would be again.
I couldn’t help now remembering little pieces of conversation here and there I had assumed were innocent nothings between friends. Law was always complimenting Deb’s organizational skills, or her taste in clothing--she wore pretty dresses and heels every Sunday to church. They rode horses together alone around the property because I wasn’t a horse lover and they both were. Deb baked Law special treats all the time. She kept his clothes in order. All those things were innocent on the face of it, but knowing Deb was in love with Lawson turned the memories into something ugly and suspicious. Even if he never physically touched Deb, they pointed out it was as if Lawson had two doting wives in his life at all times.
Angrily, I side braided my hair and then threaded on a belt holster to carry the Glock on my hip. I stashed the loaded extra magazines in the side pocket of my cargo pants and threw on a button down shirt, leaving it open over my tucked in T-shirt.
My problem with Deb was not going to be resolved in the next five minutes. I needed time to calm down before I did something rash, like accusing Deb of being a no-good slut and throwing her ass out on the road as zombie bait. I knew she was the furthest thing from a slut, but I was so pissed that she dared to love my husband, my man! Who did she think she was? Who did she think I was that she could do this to me, to our friendship?
My phone signaled Uncle Coop’s ringtone of “Boom Boom” by John Lee Hooker. I glanced angrily at the screen and snorted. Didn’t that figure. It hadn’t been Coop’s brilliant idea to get started bulldozing in the dark, but Rod’s.
I hadn’t locked the bedroom door. Liz and Jane knocked, but ignored my shout of, “Go away!” as naturally not meant to include them.
They were dressed similarly in jeans, running shoes, T-shirts, and unzipped hooded sweatshirts, although Liz had her eyeliner on and was wearing all her jewelry. Their hair was up in high ponytails and they carried their backpacks holding their guns.
Jane led the way, announcing, “Good morning! I’m still freaking out here, but reporting for duty.”
“Great.” I still paced. “Get everybody on your lists here today.” I pointed at their feet. “And start wearing boots.”
Jane and Liz exchanged quick looks, but Jane responded, “Uh, okay, sure. My parents and my sister Cassie have the RV packed and ready. Dad’s been glued to the news since I called them last night. The reports in The Cities are getting scarier. He said there’s been some graphic footage of people attacking each other.” Her voice got anxious. “Dad said they’re going to stop a few places and he promised me that he would carry his gun at all times. They’ll get here around noon. Do you think they’ll be okay?”
Jane’s family was coming from Red Wing, a town thirty miles to the southeast on the Mississippi River. They should be safe doing errands, especially if her dad had a gun.
Like Jane, her mother and her sister were pretty, social women; perfectly suited to running their jointly owned clothes boutique. Her dad, a retired school principal, was intelligent, capable, and very kind. He had always reminded me of Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch. I had a crush on him when I was fifteen. Not that I ever told Jane that I had serious daydreams of seducing her father.
“Yeah, as long as they’re careful and stay away from any crowds,” I muttered distractedly. Unable to hold back, I demanded, “Did you know about Deb?”
Closing the bedroom door behind them, Liz eyed me. “I know thirty years worth about Deb, so you’ll have to be a tad more specific.”
Hands on hips, I glared at them both. “Did either of you know that Deb was in love with Law
?”
“Oh, that,” Liz said flatly while Jane’s face flushed and her hands fluttered in agitation.
Aghast, I stopped and confronted my oldest friends. “You both knew and never said anything?”
Jane reached for me, but I resumed my furious pacing, not wanting comfort. “Oh, honey, it wasn’t like that.” She looked helplessly at Liz for assistance.
Liz sat on the end of my bed. “We knew she had a crush on Law, but we never said anything about it because it seemed harmless.”
The word ‘crush’ rang in my ears since I’d just remembered my own. But there was a big difference between my teenage crush and a grown woman, who was supposedly my friend, falling apart because she was in love with my deceased husband.
Jane nodded rapidly. “I thought you knew and didn’t think it was a big deal. I mean, you and Law were always so tight, and you never seemed jealous when those two went off to do things together or when Law…”
Jane’s words died off with a squeak when I whirled on her. “Or when Law what?”
She held up her hands, fumbling over her words. “I only meant that he’d compliment Deb on her cooking or…”
Liz rolled her eyes and interrupted, “Oh for Christ’s sake, Jane that meant absolutely nothing. Law complimented us all the time.”
Jane’s cheeks flooded with color and she stiffened. “I know he did, Liz. That was why I said Acadia never seemed to care!” She turned to me, saying earnestly, “I never once thought there was anything between Deb and Law, other than friendship and maybe a little pity on his side. Deb was always so eager to please Law, yet so shy around most men. I think Law felt bad she didn’t go out more or have a boyfriend.”
I grunted at that, and then complained bitterly, “Yeah, and why weren’t the two of you ganging up on her little shy ass to go out and socialize like you’ve been after my fat ass? I’ve only been single two years; Deb’s been single most of her life!”
“Quit grunting, you sound more like your uncle every day,” Liz griped. She patted the bed next to her. “Speaking for myself, I’d never call you a fat ass...”
“Me neither,” Jane piped in. “It’s true your butt is pretty round compared to how slender you are…”
“Yeah, you’ve definitely got some meat back there, but…” At my exasperated warning look, Liz stopped fooling around and got serious. “Okay, the truth is that Deb is more your friend than mine. We don’t really have a lot in common anymore besides you and going to school together all those years ago.”
Liz’s comment surprised me enough that I plopped down gracelessly on the spot she’d patted on the bed.
Jane sat down instantly on my other side. “I like Deb, but I agree with Liz.”
“Wow,’ I said softly, looking from one friend to another and then down at my clasped hands. “Isn’t this morning full of surprises?” I laughed a little shakily. “Here I used to think I was so good at reading people, too. I’m sorry for being crabby and taking my bad mood out on you guys.”
Liz put an arm around my slumped shoulders. “Why were you asking about Deb, anyway, Acadia? What’s happened?”
I filled them in on what I’d overheard in the library. Liz and Jane reassured me they firmly believed there had been no affair between Law and Deb.
Sighing, I believed they were right about a physical affair. Law was no cheater. But what about an emotional affair, or whatever it was called, when two people were very intimate in every way except sex?
My phone buzzed. It was a text from Deb and I read it out loud. Breakfast was ready, but she was headed to the Red Rose Barn to begin work organizing the new supplies.
I looked up. “Dammit, I’m relieved to not have to see her yet, but I don’t want Deb out there in the barn alone.”
Jane and Liz quickly offered to round up Quinn and Barbara, eat breakfast on the run, and join Deb in a few minutes in the barn.
“Thanks.” I wanted to dig deeper into the subject of my friend’s opinions on emotional affairs, but it would have to wait. “I don’t have any idea what I want to say to Deb, if anything, but I know it’s probably best to wait until I don’t want to beat her up.”
“Probably,” Jane agreed, as she smiled in sympathy. “Regardless, I still think Deb had a hell of a nerve to actually bitch out Rod for liking you.”
“Speaking of nerve,” I said, “that reminds me. Have I thanked you two for forcing me to get out there and socialize on the night of a zombie outbreak?”
Liz’s many rings sparkled when she waved breezily. “Acadia, if you did anything near what I’ve been imagining you did with Rod “The Ram” Ramaldi, that’s all the thanks I need.”
I rolled my eyes while Jane laughed and hugged me while saying over my shoulder, “Liz, maybe that’s thanks enough for you, but I want every juicy detail.” Her brown eyes were sparkling when she pulled back to look me in the face. “Acadia Christine Evans King, did Rod actually touch,” Jane dramatically lowered her voice to a throaty whisper, “your musn’t-touch-it last night?”
Before I could answer, Jane leaned forward again and said across me to Liz, “And how weird is that to be asking Acadia, instead of her asking us?”
I sighed. “Tell me about it.”
“No, you tell us about it,” Liz countered with her wicked, arch smile. “I need to live vicariously because any of the men I’ve dated recently can’t even get it up.” Jane laughed and Liz griped, “Hey, it’s true and I am on the verge of getting a complex here.”
“Why should I when you struck your big noses into my business and tried to convince Rod to stay here to be my bodyguard?” Bewildered, I asked, “Why would you do that to me, anyway, knowing how I feel about Law?”
Liz and Jane exchanged another of those quick looks that were beginning to irritate me.
“You know I’m sitting right here and can see you guys do that, right?”
Liz threw up her hands and laughed. “I know I wasn’t sticking my big nose anywhere. I was checking to see if Jane’s face looked guilty because she’d been plotting against you.”
“No, I wasn’t, I promise!” Jane exclaimed, giving Liz a dirty look. She patted my knee. “You kept your word and went out last night on a date, although how you hooked up with Rod Ramaldi on a dating site is a story I want to hear. I know you’re not ready for anything more with a man, Acadia.” Her eyes clouded over with worry while I squirmed a little. “Rod did ask me a lot of general questions about the farm and your life here, though. But answering his questions wasn’t meddling, was it?”
I shrugged. “No, I guess not.”
Liz elbowed me. “I think Rod is crushing on your ass. He fished for info from me, too.” She raised her straight brows, dark blue eyes shrewd. “Rod doesn’t strike me as the type to bald-face lie. Did he come right out and say that Jane and I asked him to stay to be your bodyguard?”
“Well no,” I admitted slowly, “he said it was by unanimous vote.”
Liz relaxed and grinned broadly. “If there was a vote taken, I would have voted ‘Hell, yes!’, but Rod was just teasing, you ring ding.” She shook her head. “You’re so out of touch with flirting that you couldn’t tell the difference.”
“I’ve got to admit I like the idea of those football guys staying here for safety purposes,” Jane coyly fluttered her lashes, “if for nothing else.”
I shook my head, but was relieved they weren’t trying to partner me with Rod because I desperately wanted their counsel. “You’ll be happy to hear I’m not completely out of touch with flirting, since I did let Rod touch my mustn’t-touch-it…” I got no further before Jane and Liz erupted in loud whoops, high-fiving across me with solid slaps. “Wait! Stop! Will you two shut up? You’ve got to help me with Rod because I don’t know what to do now. It was supposed to be only that once, but he won’t leave me alone or stop touching me.”
“Why that dirty, rotten bastard!” Liz cried out.
“I say we string him up and cut his testes off,” Jane declared rig
ht after Liz.
My best friends burst into delighted laughter and high-fived again in front of my fuming face.
Chapter Thirteen
“Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make females mad.” -William Shakespeare
The girls scrambled to follow me downstairs, heckling me all the way for details. Ray Dean was in the main hall below, overheard them, and loudly demanded to know why I musn’t be touched. My new champion was getting worked up that I must have been infected while he’d slept. I grinned at my friend’s blank faces and left them to explain their way out of that one to Ray Dean.
Hurrying off, I went to retrieve my gun from in the library, but it was no longer on the desk. Gritting my teeth, I marched into the kitchen.
Rod was sitting at the hearth again, munching off a plate of food from the buffet breakfast Deb had left spread out on the island. Oh, and my ex-dog, Rex was leaning against Rod’s knee while being fed choice tidbits.
Coop and Salty had left to meet the gun dealers, but everybody else, including Gary, were gathered around the TV. Their faces were intent on the latest newscast while they ate a hurried breakfast. I caught glimpses of police cars outside a hospital and what looked like a riot taking place. I didn’t need to hear the reporter’s excited words to tell the gruesome story.
I was irritated that all I had done since last night was not look at certain people for certain reasons, but I still pretended not to notice Ray Dean’s animated leer and loud whispers to T-bone, or Rod’s contemplative stare as I approached him.
I stopped and held my hand out.
Rod handed over my holstered gun with a shake of his head and somehow, despite being six-foot-five inches of rugged male, pursed his lips and managed to look prissy. “And where was your partner Sean while you were off scampering about the house without your weapon, hmm, Mary-Acadia?”