by S. Jones
I glanced around my apartment. Everything here reminded me of her. I felt hollow inside as I stared at the window with the lights of the city dancing across the room. New York would always be here but it was time for a clean slate.
“I’m ready to come work for you.”
“You would not work for me, Brad. You would work with me. It’s what your father wanted. He believed in you, son… and so do I.”
I sucked in a breath letting his words sink in. It was time to grow up and make my old man proud. “That means a lot, Will.”
Sometimes a little reassurance could go a long way, especially when everything in your life had gone to shit. I needed to get my mind back on track and his words were just the boost I needed. I knew I was giving up a lot, but sometimes when you didn’t like what was on the television, you had to change the station.
“Draw up a business plan and let me know when you’re ready for me in D.C. We’ll work out all the details then. And, Will,” I said before I hung up. “Thank you.”
I slid my phone across the table and stared at the door. I kept replaying our goodbye over and over in my head. Nothing about that day made sense to me. Something in my gut told me that she would have never left me unless she had a damn good reason.
It was time to get my head out of my ass. I wasn’t going to be able to move forward unless I knew she was really okay. I picked my phone back up and called my PI Friend Mac York.
The phone rang five times before his voicemail picked up. “It’s Morgan. I need another favor. I want you to keep a tail on Hunt. I also want an address on Lexi Manning and whatever else you can get me. Thanks, brother, I owe you.”
I disconnected the call and leaned back into the couch. I wasn’t leaving for D.C. until I knew for certain that she was okay.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lexi
The exam room was small, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut to block out the bright fluorescent lights that shined above me. Two weeks had passed by and nothing had changed. Life with Colton had been just as terrible as I imagined. I sat in silence wondering if I would ever wake up from this nightmare. Brad was on my mind every second of the day. Only in my sleep, did I get a chance to feel his presence. There were too many nights where I would dream that we were together, only to awaken and find his side of the bed empty. I struggled with the pain, and every night my heart would break just a little bit more.
My cell phone buzzed in my hand, startling me. I looked down at the name on the screen, hit decline and sighed. I laid back on the exam table and fiddled with the paper gown while I waited for the results of my blood work. I grabbed the water bottle out of my bag and took a long sip, hoping it would wash away the migraine headache I had. Every little thing seemed to be a trigger for me lately. Memories from the day I told Brad it was over kept flashing through my mind. My conscience was a sea of guilt and I found myself struggling just to stay on the surface and breathe. I cried over everything and anything. My life was a mess, and all I wanted to do was go home… to his home.
My cell phone pinged with a new message. I glanced quickly to read the text.
Colton: Don’t forget we have a campaign fundraiser dinner tonight at 7:00 pm. I’ll pick you up at 6:30.
For a split second, I debated on ignoring the text, but I didn’t want to deal with the consequences of upsetting him. It was easier just to answer him.
Me: I’ll be ready
I shut my phone off and slid it back into my purse. A light tap on the door caused me to sit up. Dr. Bates, my family physician, had walked in carrying my chart. The long brown hair I remembered from my past was now grey. She had it pulled back in a low hung ponytail that practically reached the small of her back. Her slate granite eyes were still sharp and her smile was as warm as I remembered. She slid the stool across the room, took a seat, then flipped through my paperwork.
While continuing to stare at her notes, she asked, “You say you haven’t been feeling well for the past three weeks, is that correct?” Her gaze peered up at me through her thick, black glasses.
“The fatigue and nausea have been going on for almost a month now. The headaches, however, just started.” I admitted, while my eyes dropped to my lap. Maybe she’d diagnose me with a terminal illness. Wouldn’t that just be the end to all my problems?
The past few days had been hell. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if I was dead or alive. If I wasn’t puking, I was sleeping. At first, I just chalked it up to the abundance of stress in my life, but the symptoms seemed to be getting worse. It was a struggle just to get out of bed in the morning. Dr. Bates adjusted her glasses on her nose while she continued to skim over my file.
“Do you know when my blood work will be available?” I asked.
She looked up at me with a soft smile. “When was your last menstrual cycle?” It took me a minute to think that over. There had been so much chaos in my life, my periods had been the last thing on my mind. Then it hit me.
“Am I pregnant?” I’d been on the pill for years, but they did say that it was never 100% effective. When I was with Colton, I always made sure to take it at the same time every day. With Brad, I wasn’t as careful. Not that it was intentional; I just didn’t think anything of it.
She closed the file then scooted her chair closer to me. “Your test results came back positive.”
Tears escaped my eyes. I swiped my hands across my cheeks and took a calming breath. “Are you sure?” My hand instinctively moved down to my stomach. I needed to touch it. Knowing that a part of Brad was growing inside me was comforting.
He should have been with me, holding my hand, experiencing this joy with me. But I lied to him. I pushed him away. It disgusted me that I allowed Colton to take away the only true happiness that I’d ever known. I hated myself for being so weak and so sacred.
Dr. Bates reached for my hand and gave me a small smile. “I can run another test if you would like, but yes, you’re definitely pregnant.”
Her warmth was unmistakable. She’d always had a calming nature about her. She patted my hand, attempting to sooth my nerves. How could I love someone so much and hurt so deeply at the same time?
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lexi
We were stuck in traffic on our way to the fundraiser when Colton glanced at my left hand. “Do you think you can put that ring on your finger before we get to the hotel?”
My hands continued to play with the engagement ring that he insisted I wear in public. “Why is this so important to you? I’m here, isn’t that enough?”
He signaled to change lanes. Once we crossed over, he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white and his face was beet red.
“No Alexis, it’s not enough. You’re my fiancée. Why wouldn’t you be wearing my ring?”
I didn’t want to be his fiancée. I didn’t want to be his anything. The ring on my finger felt like his hands were on my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I loathed him and he knew it. Why on earth would he want to be with someone who despised him?
As if he could read my mind, he cocked his head to the side. “This was part of our deal, remember?” He goaded me.
As the Four Seasons came into view, I seriously doubted whether or not I could actually pull it off. We reached the front entrance and the valet attendant walked over to my door. “Put on the goddamned ring, Alexis!” Colton’s tone left no more room for discussion. I closed my eyes and slid the ring on my finger. It felt tight and suffocating, a permanent reminder of the prison I had agreed to live in.
He seemed satisfied and completely oblivious to the level of hate I felt as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed the ring. “It’s finally back on your hand where it belongs.”
I ignored his comment and stepped out of the car. If he was expecting me to act happy about this arrangement, he could kiss my ass. It would never happen.
Colton walked around the car to meet me. He put his hand on the small of my back and ushered me inside. I didn’t want to be here a
nd I sure as hell didn’t want his hands on me. I drew my shawl closer to my body and tried to ignore how much I hated these functions.
The black cocktail dress I wore was beautiful and my hair was done up in a French twist. I looked the part of the politician’s daughter-in-law, but I wanted no part of this scene. Even though I grew up in this life, it felt strangely foreign to me now. I hated it. I missed my life back in New York. I would much rather be at a bar with Brad and his friends wearing a pair of jeans and playing darts, or snuggled up with him in our apartment watching a movie.
Colton’s strong grip pressed into my elbow, causing me to flinch. “Smile, Alexis. Remember there are cameras everywhere.” He whispered, the subtle reference to the photos that ended my life did not go unnoticed.
My heels clicked along the hardwood floor as I forced a smile on my face. Colton led me into the ballroom where everyone was gathered. There were waiters in black tuxedos with silver trays serving champagne and appetizers. The people in the room collectively had enough wealth that they could retire a significant percentage of the U.S. national debt. Colton accepted a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and handed it to me.
I shook my head. “I really shouldn’t.” I explained. “I’m still on my antibiotics.” Nervously, I brought the black clutch that matched my dress to my stomach. When he’d asked me about my doctor’s appointment earlier, I’d lied and told him I had a sinus infection. I couldn’t even think about what he would do if he knew the truth.
He narrowed his eyes at me. They were dark and dangerous. Just like the man himself. “Would you like something else then?”
This whole pregnancy thing was still new to me. I still wasn’t sure what was allowed and what wasn’t. I decided to play it safe. “Water would be fine, thank you.”
“The bar is right there. Hold on.” he replied, guiding me through the crowd. I spied his mother approaching us, so I mustered a fake smile.
“Colton, darling.” She greeted him, while pressing a kiss to each cheek. “I was starting to wonder where you were. The Smiths have been asking for you.” She said, straightening his bow tie.
“Sorry, Mother, we got stuck in traffic.” He apologized.
Colton’s mom was a stereotypical socialite, and she expected things to go a certain way. I wouldn’t call her an ice princess, but she certainly didn’t radiate the genuine warmth that Brad’s mom did. Stop it. I scolded myself. Stop comparing her to Kathleen.
“Alexis, don’t you look lovely?” Her eyes raked over my dress making me feel like I was being inspected. I must have passed because she smiled and whirled her fingers in the air. “Come on now, you two need to mingle. There are a couple of donors I would like to introduce you to.”
“Don’t worry, Mother.” Colton said patting her hand. “We’re just getting a drink and then we’ll work our way through the crowd.”
That answer seemed to satisfy her. She swept her fingers across the diamond choker that was resting along her neck. It probably cost more than the Range Rover she had bought for her son. “Very well. I’ll look for you both later.” She paused, “also, Barron Carrington who works for the Atlanta Journal Constitution wanted to do a short human-interest piece about your engagement. Have you set a date yet?” She asked Colton, not even looking at me.
The room around me buzzed with chatter, but the only thing I could hear was my frantic heartbeat. My eyes flickered to Colton, but he didn’t give anything away.
“We haven’t set an exact date yet, but it will be soon, Mother. I promise.”
His mother seemed pleased then she turned and walked away. Immediately after, two older gentlemen that I didn’t recognize, approached Colton. They engaged him in a conversation about health care reform and interest rate hikes. Their timing was perfect for my escape.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room.” I smiled politely. I felt anxious and needed a few minutes to get myself under control.
Colton’s face tightened as he stretched his jaw back and forth. “Don’t be long, dear. You know how much I hate it when you’re away from me.”
He knew how uncomfortable I felt and he didn’t like that at all. What did he expect—that things would magically go back to normal? That I would somehow overlook that he was blackmailing me into being his bride?
I made my way past the waiters and all the guests that were filling the ballroom. I felt nauseous. I wasn’t sure if it was because of Colton or the baby.
There was a woman at the sink finishing up washing her hands when I walked into the bathroom. As soon as she left, I went to the marble counter and exhaled. I was so in over my head. I was still shocked and trying to process that fact that I was pregnant. I fought the urge to cry whenever I thought about what Colton would do when he found out. I was only a few weeks along, but I would start to show, eventually. I took a measured breath before releasing it. The sad thing was that I might have broken Brad’s heart for nothing. Nothing made sense and there was no easy way to handle this. I was torn between telling him the truth and protecting him. I knew I would have to tell him, eventually; I just needed time to figure out how to make that happen—to organize a plan. I needed to be careful because Colton wasn’t an idiot.
I reached inside my purse for my lip-gloss when the bathroom door swung open. I jumped at the sight of my sister who looked equally surprised and entirely unsure on how to approach me. She studied me then pushed a nervous smile past her lips.
“You look pretty. I love your dress.”
I’d been avoiding her since I’d been back. Whenever she walked into a room, I would leave. She would ask a question; I would give her one word responses. Everyone always said we looked so much alike that we could’ve been twins. We may have looked alike, but apparently we had much different moral codes.
With that reminder, I rolled my eyes and then applied my lip-gloss. “If you’re looking for Colton, he’s out there. Maybe the two of you can squeeze in a quick fuck in a coat closet.” I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Lexi, please stop this.” There was a tremble in her voice as she stared at me. I turned my head and forced myself to look at her. “You think this is all my fault, don’t you? You think I wanted my sister’s boyfriend so bad that I decided to fuck him behind your back? You ran away convinced that I wanted to hurt you. I’m not sure what hurts more. The fact that you would believe that or what actually did happen.” She sighed, sinking her body against the wall.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw in her eyes. I didn’t want to feel anything towards her because she didn’t deserve an ounce of my thoughts. “You fucked my fiancée behind my back. I saw it with my own two eyes.”
“I don’t blame you for thinking that. I don’t.” She pressed her eyes closed and shook her head. “But that’s not how it happened.”
I tilted my head to the side feeling more frustrated by the second. Did she honestly think that I misunderstood what I saw? I felt anger move through me. The betrayal of what she did to me still stung.
“You’re serious?” I shook my head. “I know what I saw. You disgust me. You and Colton are both sick. You deserve each other. You fucked him. Plain and simple. Don’t you dare insult my intelligence and try to spin this into something it’s not.”
Her voice was shaky as she brought her hands up to her cheeks and squeezed her eyes shut. “That’s not what that was.” It was only then that I noticed that she was crying.
I was so damned confused. I narrowed my eyes on her, ignoring the ping of emotion that hit me. She looked sad and defeated. I knew that look well.
“You know what? I don’t give a damn anymore. If I could hand Colton over to you on a silver platter, I would.”
A look of confusion crossed her face as she reached for a tissue on the counter. “Why would you say that? You’re back together.” She looked down at the ring on my finger and wiped the moisture off her cheeks. “You’re wearing his ring.”
I sighed. “If I ha
d a choice, I wouldn’t be. He’s blackmailing me.”
She reared back, shocked. “Oh my God.” Her chest started heaving as she ran her hands through her hair. “Lexi, I need to talk to you. I thought you came back because you loved him. You don’t understand…” Before she could get the next word out there was a knock on the door.
“Alexis, are you finished?” I looked at my watch and realized that I had been gone much longer than I should have.
Laney started to panic as fear flooded her eyes. She brought her hand to her lips. “Please don’t tell him I’m in here.” She tugged anxiously on the hem of her gold dress. Something wasn’t right. I tried to ward off the nausea simmering in my stomach. I no longer felt smug. She shifted nervously in front of me. “You have to get back to him. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise.”
I swallowed tightly and gathered my things off the counter. I tried to push down the haunting thoughts that moved through me as I slipped out the door.
We didn’t talk the next day, or the day after that, because she packed a bag that night and disappeared.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Brad
The bar was packed and I could barely hear the Sports Center highlights coming from the TV over the bar. My eyes looked to Sawyer sitting on the stool next to me as the room started to spin, making it hard to concentrate on what he was saying. Thanks to the farewell party the guys threw for me I’d been drinking since noon. The empty wing basket and a few other appetizer trays littered the bar top. I could feel myself running out of gas.
“Be right back.” Sawyer announced, as I heard his chair scrape against the wood floor.
“I have to call Faith. Save my seat.”