Redheads are Soulless

  He held out his greasy hand, and I just stared at it.

  “It’s clean,” were the first words he said to me. “I work at a mechanic shop, they’re just stained.” He once again held out his greasy hand, and I accepted it to be polite. “I’m Steve.”

  I nodded. “I’m Sofia.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Sofia.”

  “Likewise.” Ok, it was a lie. It’s anything but nice to meet him, but I wasn’t going to say it to his face.

  He put his arm around my mom. “Your mother here has told me wonderful things about you.”

  In my attempt to not be one of those kids who hounds their mom’s boyfriend, I just smiled at him, and held my sarcastic comments back. I turned to my mom. “Well, Mom, as lovely as it has been seeing you, I think I’m going to go. Have fun packing.”

  “Wait,” she said. She grabbed a notepad and paper from a box close by. She scribbled down something, and handed it to me. “It’s my new phone number and address in case you need to get a hold of me.”

  Steve grabbed a couple boxes and walked outside with them. I stood there looking at my mom a few moments longer.

  “Mom, are you sure that you want to do this?” I asked, but almost sounded like I was begging. “You have barely known him a week. You can always wait until you’ve dated longer.”

  My mom kissed me on the cheek. “I am completely sure.”

  I swallowed the knot that was starting to form in my throat. I knew I would have to leave soon if I didn’t want to cry in front of her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Sof,” she smiled at me. “This is for the best. You’ll see.”

  Steve walked in and grabbed a few more boxes. My mom picked up a few and followed him outside. I stood there for a few more minutes, taking one last look at our old house before walking out the front door.

  This is for the best, I told myself over, and over again. I wished that I could believe the words, but I knew I was lying. This was in no way “for the best”. My mom was making the worst mistake of her life, but I couldn’t do anything about it. The truth was that I no longer belonged in her world.

  I wiped my eyes off before getting in Jason’s car. He looked at me with concern. “Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine,” I lied.

  He pulled me in for a hug and I cried on his shoulder for a few minutes before I finally got a hold of myself.

  “My mom is moving in with her new boyfriend,” I finally told him. “I’m going to be ok, really. Can we just go home?”

  Once we got to the house, he made hot chocolate and we watched Spongebob reruns on TV. We laughed until we cried, and I instantly felt better.

  I thought it was odd that Robbie wasn’t home. I hadn’t seen him, all night long. I didn’t complain though, it was kind of nice hanging out with just Jason.

  “Where were you 7 years ago?” I asked Jason. “I’ve been a pathetic mess my whole life, and suddenly you show up and everything is just magically better.”

  “Well, other than the evil twin brother,” he reminded me.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, other than that.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Robbie storm past us to his room. He slammed the door hard, making the walls rattle. I wondered what could possibly be wrong with him, but I wasn’t brave enough to ask.

  “He’s different with you.” Jason’s voice said. I looked at him confused for a moment, so he continued. “Robbie, he acts differently with you. I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s almost as if…” he shook his head, and stopped talking mid sentence.

  “Please, finish?” I asked.

  His voice was a whisper this time. “It’s almost as if he likes you.”

  “Is it so weird to think that he is capable of making a friend?”

  He shook his head. “No, he used to have several friends. But, to him, you’re the enemy. He never befriends his enemies. He thinks of it as a sign of weakness.”

  “Maybe I’m his weakness,” my voice was so low, I wasn’t even sure that Jason heard me.

  “Maybe you are,” he agreed.

  I hated the feeling I got when I thought of Robbie… You know, the feeling you get at the top of the rollercoaster, right when you’re about to drop down the first hill – the nervous, excited feeling, the thrill. Really, the feeling would be great if I actually had a chance with him, but I don’t. Despite what he says he wants, he is going to kill me… Robbie is not safe. He is dangerous. Not just for me, but also for my heart. The sooner that I figure this out, the better.

  That night, I was unable to sleep. I stared at the ceiling, wanting to think about something other than Robbie.

  I wondered what Robbie was doing.

  Really, I need to go to sleep.

  I wonder how it would feel if he wrapped his arms around me and embraced me – his warm body pushed up against mine.

  I wanted to scream into my pillow, but I didn’t want to wake up Jason. I should not be thinking of Robbie like that. So instead, I did something very stupid. Very slowly, I got out of bed and tiptoed my way into the hallway. This time Robbie wasn’t standing there waiting. I was very surprised. His bedroom door was shut, so without invitation, I let myself in.

  “What are you doing?” Robbie scolded me as soon as I shut his door behind me.

  What am I doing here?

  “You can’t come in here. It’s not safe,” he paused for a moment before adding, “I’m not safe.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I said softly as I made my way towards his bed.

  Yep, it’s official – I have completely lost it.

  “I’m serious,” he warned me. “Jason is the one who can keep you safe. Forget about me.”

  I looked him in the eyes. I wanted so badly to lie down beside him. It took all my strength to resist. “I can’t forget about you,” it came out barely above a whisper. “I don’t care if I’m safe or not.”

  Robbie stood up. He towered at least 6 inches over me. He looked at me longingly as he pushed my bangs behind my ears. The second his hand left me, I missed his touch. I wanted him to touch me more.

  “I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt.”

  “I can’t stand being away from you anymore.”

  He sighed. “No, Sofia, you can’t. You have to stay away from me. I’m serious. I am bad for you. Jason is the good one, he deserves you.”

  “But I don’t want him,” I admitted boldly. “I want you.”

  With my words, all of his resistance melted. He hungrily made his way to my lips. His lips covered mine, and I groaned as I gave into him.

  Robbie – my Robbie.

  I loved the feeling of his hands on my back. He gently pulled me closer to him. He kissed me harder, yet it wasn’t hard enough. I wanted more. I needed more. Now that I had him, I was going to be selfish.

  Suddenly, he stopped kissing me. I instantly missed the warmth of his lips. He slowly backed away. He was breathing just as heavily as I was. It was good to know he was just as affected by that kiss as I was.

  “Go to Jason,” he demanded. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

  “But I…” I started to protest, but he cut me off.

  “Go now!”

  His words stung worse than if I had been slapped in the face. How could he kiss me like that and just tell me to go?

  I ran out of his room, and back to Jason’s. Tears ran freely down my face as I gently laid down beside Jason. In his slumber, he put his arm protectively around me.

  Safe… Jason made me feel safe.

  Too bad that just isn’t enough anymore.

  Now that I knew how it felt to have Robbie against me, to feel the warmth of his body, and to taste his lips, he was going to be harder than ever to resist.

  Eleven

  Don’t stare

  Now, more than ever, I wished that I had a mom to talk to, a real mom who loved me more than alcohol, and more than her new boyfriend.

  I w
ished my dad wasn’t dead. I had so many questions that I wanted and needed to ask him about what I am. Sure, Jason answers most of my questions, but I know he leaves out a lot of stuff for my safety.

  I don’t even have any girl friends, but would it make any difference if I did? What would I say to them if I did? They would think I was completely crazy if I told them the truth.

  I’m not really human… And the thing is I’m still trying to accept it myself.

  Yep, crazy.

  I at least wish I had somebody to talk to about Robbie. I mean, I can’t talk to Jason… I’m technically cheating on him. Ugh. I hate that. Cheaters are the worst, and I am kissing his BROTHER behind his back. That makes it way worse.

  Just the thought of Robbie made my heart race, and that made me nauseous. He murdered my father. This is not something I should be feeling towards the person who killed my father.

  I put a cold, wet washcloth on my forehead. “What am I doing?” I asked myself out loud.

  First: I absolutely have to get over Robbie. Second: I have to figure out what he is hiding from Jason and me. Whatever it is, I have a feeling it could save my life.

  Well, here goes nothing.

  As I walked out of the bathroom, I bumped into a shirtless Robbie.

  Don’t stare, don’t stare, don’t stare, I repeated to myself over and over.

  “Are you done in there?” he asked calmly. “I need to take a shower.”

  I nodded, unable to speak. His abs were as beautiful as I had pictured them in my head. I wanted nothing more than to run my hands over his stomach and chest.

  “Can you move?” he asked a few seconds later. The look on his face told me he was amused.

  I cleared my throat and stepped out of the way. I tried to pretend I wasn’t affected by him. I failed.

  He stepped past me, as he did his shoulder brushed mine. “See you at school, Sofie.” He winked at me, and shut the bathroom door.

  I stood there for a few more moments, staring at the door. It was going to take a lot to get the image of Robbie shirtless out of my head.

  “Hey, Sofie,” Jason greeted me. “You ready for school?”

  I looked up at him. I was sure my face was flushed, but I tried to act normal. “Yeah,” I nodded.

  I followed him out to his car and got in. The ride to school was extra quiet.

  “Are you ok?” Jason asked me, breaking the silence.

  I nodded my head. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You can talk to me about anything, you know,” he encouraged me.

  “I know. I guess maybe I’m worried about my mom,” it was the truth, but only half the truth. “I think she is making a huge mistake by moving in with her new boyfriend.”

  He shook his head. “Your mom is an adult. She can take care of herself. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

  “I know, I know. I can’t help it though. She’s my mom. I will always worry about her.”

  When I looked over at Jason, he was looking at me intensively. He reached his hand to my face and gently caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m really sorry about everything that is happening with my brother. Once he leaves, things will go back to the way they were.”

  I instantly felt panicked at the thought of Robbie leaving, but I forced a smile. “I don’t think things will ever be the way they were.”

  “You’re right,” he smiled. “They will only get better.”

  I tried to smile back, but I just couldn’t. It was a lie, and I had lied enough lately.

  When I tried to take a deep breath, I couldn’t. My heart felt like it weighed a thousand pounds in my chest. I pushed my stress as far to the back of my mind as I could. I had to focus on school.

  When we got to class, I noticed the blonde girl I saw yesterday was sitting in the row directly in front of me. She turned around and actually winked at me. My breath caught in my throat. Her eyes were even lighter colored than they were yesterday. They were such a light blue, they almost looked white. I was certain then that I had never seen her before. I know everybody in Peckville, and she isn’t like anybody I’ve ever seen before.

  “Who is that girl?” I whispered to Jason.

  Jason looked up, but the girl was facing forward so he only saw the back of her head. He shrugged his shoulders.

  Robbie took the seat on the other side of me just as the second bell rang.

  When Mr. Franks took roll, I paid extra attention to hear the girl’s name… Adrianne.

  I was determined to learn more about Adrianne. Who is she? How did she just magically appear here, and fit in perfectly from day one? How long has she been here? Maybe I am just being paranoid, but something about this girl gives me the creeps.

  When the bell rang, I went to find the girl to introduce myself, but she always seemed to disappear every time I looked away.

  Finally, at the last class of the day, I was more than determined than ever to talk to Adrianne. I didn’t take my eyes off her all class. As soon as the bell rang, I started to walk up to her, but was disrupted by Marie.

  “Hey, Sofia,” she greeted me cheerfully. Her head tilted to the side slightly as she looked at me. “I love what you’ve done with your hair. It used to be so frizzy, what do you do differently?”

  I couldn’t figure out why Marie, the head cheerleader, was talking to me. She has never said more than two words to me, ever. Why did she have to start today? “Nothing.”

  “Well, I like it,” she smiled. “You’re really pretty. You should try out for the cheerleading squad.”

  I was sure my face looked shocked. “Look, Marie, I’m flattered, really, but senior year is half over. Plus, we have never been friends before. Why are you trying to talk to me now?”

  Now she looked confused. “I really don’t know. I just had this overwhelming desire to come talk to you. I’ll see you later, Sofia.”

  With that, she turned and walked away. I turned to look for Adrianne again, but once again, she was gone.

  “Sof, you ready?” I heard Jason call from behind me.

  I wasn’t ready, but I didn’t want to bring the girl up anymore to Jason. I just followed him out to his car.

  We drove home, and hung out watching TV. Jason ordered pizza, and Robbie had been out all afternoon. He got back around seven that night. He looked really annoyed when he walked in, so I didn’t say anything. He just walked to his room and shut the door.

  A few minutes later, he came back in the living room wearing only a pair of sweatpants. I stiffened when I saw him with his shirt off again. He shot me a knowing look.

  What a tease, I thought.

  “It’s really hot in here.” I fanned myself with my hands, even though it was no help with cooling me down.

  “I’m comfortable,” Robbie smiled at me.

  Jason rolled his eyes. “Can you at least wear a shirt?”

  “Jealous?”

  “Of you? Why would I be jealous of you?”

  Robbie’s eyes met mine for a minute. “Maybe because your girlfriend can’t take her eyes off me.”

  I looked toward Jason. He was looking at me, and for a moment I thought I saw jealousy in his eyes. It disappeared as soon as it appeared. “Seriously, just put on a shirt.” Jason got up and turned the air up.

  Robbie didn’t move. He stayed in his seat, topless. Jason didn’t say another word. We watched reruns of the Vampire Diaries in silence.

  That night, I lay in bed awake again, but no matter how bad I wanted to go to Robbie’s room, I didn’t.

  “Sofie,” Jason whispered.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “I do see the way you look at Robbie.”

  I lay there uncomfortably. I was unsure of what I should say back. I knew the conversation would come at some point, but I was hoping to delay it as long as possible.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I won’t stop fighting for you.” It was dark, but I could tell he was facing me. “I won’t let him have you, not without a fight.”

&n
bsp; “Jason…” I was still unsure of what to say to him.

  I felt his hand on the side of my face, and before I knew what he was doing, I felt his lips on mine. His kiss wasn’t hungry like Robbie’s, but it was soft and sweet.

  Jason is a hopeless romantic. He takes me on dates… he always makes me feel safe, and always puts my needs before his own. He was the first person that I truly trusted since my father’s death.

  He pulled back from my lips, and he pulled me close. I held his hand, and the two of us lay there. We didn’t say anything, but no words were needed.

  Jason was going to fight for me, and I liked that. I sure wasn’t ready for him to give up, but unfortunately, the kiss made me more confused than ever.

  …

  When I walked into the kitchen the next morning, the smell of coffee and bacon was in the air. I was surprised to see a shirtless Jason standing by the kitchen stove cooking.

  “Good morning, Sof,” he greeted me. “Breakfast will be ready soon if you want to grab some coffee.”

  I couldn’t help but smile as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I added extra cream and sugar. “You really don’t have to cook me breakfast.”

  “I know. But I meant what I said last night. I am going to fight for you.” He sat down a plate of bacon, eggs and toast in front of me.

  “Seriously, if you cook for me like this all the time, there will be no competition,” I joked.

  As I ate, I watched Jason cooking. His muscles aren’t as big as Robbie’s, but he definitely looked nice. His beauty was very breathtaking in every way.

  He winked at me when he caught me watching him. “I was thinking I could start teaching you the guitar today.”

  I was sure he had forgotten his promise to teach me how to play. “I would love that, but what about school?”

  “There is a teacher’s workshop. We’re out today,” he reminded me.

  So why am I up before noon then?

  Jason got out a red electric guitar. It looked very nice and expensive. The head said Gibson, and I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was scared to even touch it.