“It’s not like that,” she said. “It’s not what you’re thinking. This is a mistake. I swear it.”
“Right,” Crispin snarked, unconvinced. He nodded at the doorman who smiled as if they were in on an inside joke. He then led the way down the hall and down a few steps to their room. Gwen watched with an indignant frown as the man opened the door and then handed Crispin the key while exchanging another glance with him. With a lascivious wag of his bushy brow, he then leered at Gwen. Self-consciously, she followed Crispin in and stepped around him.
“Enjoy your stay,” said the man with a wink, holding out his hand, awaiting a tip.
Having heard enough, Crispin scowled at the clueless ass. With a slow shake of his head, he stood tall and blocked the tiresome man’s view of Gwen. “Yeah, now would be a great time for you to fuck off,” he snarled, using his height to intimidate the guy out of the room. He then shut the door and locked it from the inside. “Dick…” he muttered.
Gwen sighed with relief when it was only them standing in the room. “Crispin… I don’t know what to say.”
Ignoring her, because it was all he could do to keep from losing his shit, Crispin flung off his coat and tossed it into a chair behind her. For a second or two, he then turned and glared at her, seething with pent up rage. When she met his gaze with those eyes of hers, he snapped himself out of his tumultuous thoughts.
The room was tiny in comparison to North American standards with barely enough space to turn around. It was square in shape with a queen size bed taking up most of it. There was a small closet, a wall-mounted dresser at the foot of the bed, making it nearly impossible to squeeze by. The chair in which he had dropped his coat was on the right side of the bed. There was a door leading into an even tinier bathroom.
With the two of them in there, it would be a true test of character. He took a moment to breathe, looking around the minuscule space where they would stay for three nights. With a frown, he next went about setting up their suitcases the best way possible. He placed his in the closet. Hers, he tucked into a corner on the floor so they wouldn’t trip on it.
Not knowing what to do with herself, Gwen stood out of the way while he huffed and puffed around the room, flinging his carryon bag onto the floor next to the closet on the left side of the queen size bed.
“Well, are you gonna take your coat off or are you just gonna stand there all night?” he said, brushing past her into the bathroom, slamming the door. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Fucking joke!”
“Yikes…” Gwen winced, slowly unbuttoning her coat and placing it on the chair with his. She started to sit on the bed only to jump up when the bathroom door was flung open and out stormed Crispin. He was not happy, not in the least.
Barely making eye contact with her, he made his way over to his carryon and dug around for a few items. “Go on, use the bathroom if you need it while I get my shit together.”
“Okay, good idea.” Taking advantage, she grabbed her carryon which held what she needed for the night and she went to get ready for bed. Ready for bed… Gwen paused just inside the bathroom. As much as she had fantasized about Crispin, this was not exactly how she imagined things. He was angry and rightly so. How would they do this? They had three nights booked here. Perhaps first thing tomorrow she would ask the front desk to call around for another place but the thought of dealing with that pervert turned her stomach. And what about Crispin? He was under the impression that she had set this whole thing up. He must hate her by now. Worse yet, he must think she was a crazy stalker for sure.
Not wanting to take too long, she washed her face, brushed her teeth, the whole time thinking about her predicament. Changing out of her clothes, she stepped into the shower and gave herself a quick rinse. She winced at the size of the shower stall. While she was okay, she imagined Crispin would find it quite confining, to say the least.
Seconds later, as inappropriate as it was given the circumstances, Gwen couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged on her lips or the giggle that escaped her throat. Why was she laughing? She felt awful for it but giddy at the same time. Even now, she could hear Crispin muttering about in the bedroom. Poor guy was at his wit’s end and here she was giggling. But it was only because it was her way of celebrating. She had survived the flight and the train ride. She’d made it and to prove it, she was standing on English soil. Despite having messed up a few things already, in the end, she had made it and that’s what mattered most.
After giving herself a moment, she got out of the shower. The next challenge would be to put on the little nightie she had brought with her and leave the bathroom. When she had packed for the trip, she hadn’t planned on splitting a room. Now it was all she had since the thought of putting her clothes back on was unbearable after having spent the day travelling in them. Luckily, she discovered a set of his and her robes hanging behind the door.
***
Crispin was resting in bed with his eyes closed and hands folded behind his head. He had changed into grey pajama pants while Gwen was in the other room and was now contemplating his situation when she appeared next to him. He had turned the lights off and only the dim lamp on his night table was left on. He opened his eyes and let them linger on the sight of her. In spite of the situation, she was a vision of loveliness. So nervous and vulnerable and unsure of herself. Yet she was so very brave. She was a contradiction. For someone so guarded, she was quite okay with standing there wearing next to nothing in front of him. Why was that, he wondered? In a word, she was perfect for him and he almost smiled at her. But before he could proceed with his intentions, he had questions that needed answers.
“Don’t be mad, Crispin,” she whispered, taking a tiny step back when he sat up, swung his legs onto the floor and reached out and tugged her closer by the belt of her terry robe.
He brought her close and looked into her eyes. “Mad? Not mad. Try furious.” It was no lie, he was pissed off and it didn’t even matter whether she had set this up or not. “So furious in fact,” he hissed into her ear. “I don’t know what I might do.”
At his proximity, she nearly swooned. “I promise, I had nothing to do with this. Stacy must have made a mistake.”
“Aw, so now this is all Stacy’s fault.” He traced his index finger along the opening of her robe, all the while holding his gaze.
“I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry I’ve been nothing but trouble,” she said, imploring him with her eyes. “Tomorrow, I’ll find another room, another place–”
“Will you now?” he interrupted her.
She tried to avert her eyes but she couldn’t. He was simply too beautiful. He was everything she had fantasized about and more. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, especially since he wore no shirt. He was gorgeous, designed of ripped sinewy muscle, long and lean of limb, intricate tattoos adorned his strong shoulders, his chest was sculpted and he had washboard abs of the likes she had never seen. He was looking at her with his dove grey eyes, holding her captive under his mesmerizing gaze.
“Maybe I’d rather you stay with me.” He raised his eyebrows when she blinked at him. “Tell you what, in exchange for my troubles, let me have my way with you.” He smiled wickedly, recognizing the look on her face for what it was, pure lust. At this point, all he wanted were answers to his particular questions in order to confirm his suspicions. He tugged her closer, pensively toying with the belt loops of her robe. She stood between his knees and he studied her a moment. Her cheeks had taken on a rosy glow at his suggestion. She offered not one stitch of resistance and that knowledge had his heart leaping with joy. Tangling his fingers through her hair, he tucked the long dark tresses behind her ear and drew her near so he could whisper, “Will you? Let me have you?”
At his warm breath in her ear and the slightest scrape of teeth on her lobe, her knees nearly gave out. Had he just asked her permission to… Her mind must be playing tricks on her. Her heart was beating wildly and she wanted nothing more than for him to do his worst. She
longed to be taken by him, to be held by him, to be consumed by him, and ultimately looked after by him. She wasn’t afraid of him, though. Not in the least, and that realization actually scared her most. She should be afraid. She should be… merely because he was so angry with her, and rightly so, but for some reason, none of that mattered.
“Yes, please, anything,” she whispered, her lip slightly aquiver.
At that, he rested their foreheads together, their lips millimetres apart, breaths intermingling. “You trust me that much?” He then took her hand, running his thumb over the silly little bracelet she loved, all the while looking at her.
“For some reason I do.” She smiled nervously at his unwavering gaze. “I know it sounds weird, especially under the circumstances, but I want you to trust me too.”
At her words, he smirked, pulled away and shook his head as if waking from a dream. “We’ll see about that.” He stood up, but before he walked away, he took her chin between his fingers. “Young miss, you have a lot to answer for.” Leaving her standing there reeling, he gathered a few things and made his way into the bathroom. “For now, get some rest. You’ll need it.”
Gwen watched him close the bathroom door and let out a breath. What just happened? Had she said something wrong? He’d gone from hot to cold in a blink of an eye. She came to the only conclusion possible. He was toying with her. That must be it. He was angry and he was dealing with it by messing with her. He hadn’t meant any of it, just like he’d suggested joining the Mile High Club on the plane.
Without the sight of him clouding her judgement, Gwen shook off the foolish notion that he would even be attracted to her. She had been nothing but a nuisance so far. This latest mix up with their rooms was just one more reason for him to resent her. She felt awful for inconveniencing him. Not wanting to impose further, she moved their coats aside and curled up in the chair. She would sleep here, tonight. Tomorrow, she would find another room somewhere. Surely, she would find something.
Chapter 13
For a blind second, Crispin faltered when he exited the bathroom and re-entered the semi-darkness of the bedroom. Gwen was gone! His mind raced with all kinds of scenarios. Had she wandered off? Had that ass from the front desk abducted her? He was all ready to charge upstairs prepared for battle when seconds later, he felt like an ass and chuckled quietly to himself. For there she was, curled up in the chair, fast asleep, buried beneath their coats.
“No, this just won’t do,” he whispered, bending over her, brushing her hair away from her face. She really was lovely to behold. It was no wonder he was all out of sorts. All he knew at that moment was he couldn’t let her spend the night on that chair. It couldn’t be comfortable and she would be in no shape to take on the sights tomorrow.
With a sigh, he pulled aside the coats and very gently plucked the girl from the chair. She didn’t wake and he was glad of it. His only intention was to place her down on the bed. Once he’d done that, he then hopped over her and made himself comfortable. Turning on his side, facing her, he leaned up on his elbow and watched her. He should be more upset, but truth be told, he had long gotten over it. Whatever her reasons for attaching herself to him didn’t matter, except for the fact that he was very curious. Curious to know the mystery that was Gwen Mathewson.
As if sensing his eyes on her, she stirred awake. For a moment, she didn’t know where she was and he smiled at the look on her face. Then suddenly she panicked and the tiniest of whimpers escaped her lips. He could tell she was frightened by the way she tensed and searched the darkness for something familiar.
“Right here...” He placed a hand on hers.
“Crispin?”
“Who else?” He chuckled, amused at her confusion. “Go back to sleep.” He rested his head down on his pillow while lazily undoing the belt of her robe. When she tensed but didn’t protest, he parted the robe and helped her off with it. “Might as well get comfortable.”
At first, Gwen thought she was dreaming, but Crispin was way too real to be a dream. She quite happily complied with him, pleased he was no longer angry. At least, that’s what she believed since he’d kindly placed her in bed. After discarding the robe, she rested back and waited to see what he might do next. When he didn’t make a move, she turned and for reasons unknown, she wrapped her arm around him.
He tensed and tore her arms from around his neck. “Do not cling to me!” he hissed angrily, startling her in the process.
At his unexpected reaction, she flinched and backed away from him, suddenly scared, and embarrassed. Should she get up? Should she go back to the chair? Seconds later, he was once again right by her side, a sorrowful look in his barely visible eyes.
“Aw... come here.” He then tugged her close and adjusted her so she lay with her back to him, his arm wrapped around her middle. “Okay?” he murmured into her ear.
She could only nod thoughtfully. So clinging to him was off limits, yet he was quite all right with holding her? She supposed it could be worse. We all have our quirks, she thought with a sigh. Too tired to dwell on it, seconds later, she once again fell asleep.
Hours later, perhaps only two or three in the morning, Gwen awoke unable to sleep any longer. Must be the jet lag, she thought to herself. She would have gotten up if it were not for Crispin’s tight hold on her. Then again, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment. She was safe and warm... yet so far away from home and all things familiar.
Once again, the idea of having come alone seemed so ridiculous. How many times would she have lost her mind had it not been for Crispin? Just the idea of being there on her own started her heart racing. Unfortunately, her anxiety had a way of creeping up on her in the strangest of places, in bed being one of them. In her mind, she pictured it all over again only this time she was on her own. What a nightmare! She would never have survived the plane let alone the train ride or the endless staircases. She visualized dropping her suitcase, to then watch it knock people over as it careened to the bottom of the steps. It didn’t make sense to dwell on what never happened, yet she couldn’t get the visuals out of her mind. What if it had? What then? By now, she was practically hyperventilating. She didn’t want to wake Crispin and that only made her worry more.
“What’s the matter?” he murmured groggily, tugging her closer into his chest. He was still half asleep but he felt her heart beating and her erratic breathing pattern. Thinking it was his doing, he relaxed his grasp and started to pull away. “Am I holding you too tight?”
“Not tight enough,” she gasped, grabbing his hand and placing it back on her belly.
Well now, that got his attention and suddenly he was wide awake in more ways than one. If it were not for her excessive trembling, he would have been on her like a bear on honey. Drawing himself closer to her, he rested his head on his elbow and spoke softly into her ear. “What can I do for you?”
She was clinging to his arm so tightly, she couldn’t even answer at that moment. Her irrational mind was all over the place. Gwen would be ever grateful for what he did next. He rolled her onto her back and climbed on top of her, nudged her legs apart and rested his weight on her. He took hold of her hands and pressed them down either side of her face, trapping her in place. He then watched her... for the longest time without speaking. He just watched her.
A moment later, she let out a heavy sigh and felt herself relax as if the heavenly weight of him cancelled out the weight of all her worries. At the sound of her sigh, Crispin relaxed his grip on her hands without releasing them. He brushed his cheek against hers and whispered into her ear, “Talk to me, Gwen. Tell me what just happened. Wanting me here is more than just you needing an escort, isn’t it?” He then slowly rolled off of her and positioned himself at her side awaiting an answer.
“Fear...” she said without hesitation. “Of the unknown, the unrehearsed.”
“I don’t understand,” Crispin said, placing his hand down on her belly once again. For whatever reason, it’s where he felt it needed to
be and from the look on her face, he was sure she agreed.
“I uh... I don’t want you to think I’m crazy...”
He chuckled lightly, tracing circles into the silky softness of her nightie. “Aren’t we all a little crazy? Isn’t that what makes life interesting?”
She smiled at his humour but forged on. He deserved to know everything. And for some reason, the need to confess it all overwhelmed her. Resting her hand over his, she spoke, “I have anxiety issues. It’s something I’ve had to deal with for years. I’d love to say it’s getting better but it’s only gotten worse. There’s so much I want to do, so much I want to see, but my anxiety won’t let me.”
“Yet here you are,” he said pensively.
“Only because of you.”
“And why is that, exactly?”
“Because...” She paused, wondering how to say it. But she owed him the truth after all this trouble. “Because I’ve wanted to come to England forever and then you showed up looking the way you do, and suddenly, I got very brave. I couldn’t let you take my itinerary and go off without me.” When he didn’t laugh, she continued. “When you came into the shop that first day, you took my breath away. It’s so very hard to explain.”
“Try harder,” he said with a curl of his lips. If anyone understood anxiety it was him. She obviously didn’t understand who she was dealing with. Or did she?
“You picked my bracelet...” she said with a hitch in her voice. “Out of all the fancy, flashy pieces of jewellery, you chose my favourite.”
At that he did chuckle, turning his hand, wrapping it around hers and stroking the charm in question. “I had no choice. You beguiled me with your sales prowess.”
“No, you chose it. In the end, you chose it, and that means something to me. Anyway, I couldn’t get you out of my head. You were like a dream come true for me. Like a fairytale come to life.” Only because it was dark, could she find a reason for telling him all of this. If he could see her, he would see that she was blushing brighter than a sun-ripened tomato. She paused then, waiting to hear what he would say. She then felt him chuckle and for a moment she was devastated. He was laughing at her. Of course, he was. What had she been thinking? She tensed and started to turn away.
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