by Tameka Hicks
She pushed Tamara’s arm out of the way. Tamara quickly scanned the premises like the terminator to make sure that no one was around.
“Wait a minute,” Tamara angrily retorted.
She hurriedly walked down the stairs in front of her. “That’s it,” replied Mia. She made an attempt to push Tamara, but she took hold of her arm instead. Their arms were intertwined, as they scuffled either one not wanting to fall down the steps.
Tamara snatched away and looked down at her bleeding arms.
“You scratched me.” Tamara had allowed her to walk past her.
“You better be glad that was all I did to you,” she said with a grin on her face that didn’t last too long because Tamara sprinted at her, shoving her hard backwards over the second level floor banister.
“KA BOOM,” was the sound you heard as her body landed face down onto the first floor stairs.
“Help me,” she mumbled. Tamara quickly proceeded down the stairs before someone interrupted their fun party. She kneeled down and untied her right shoelace so slickly that Mia didn’t notice what she had done. She made an effort to get up, but Tamara forcefully stepped across her pregnant back. “Where are you going Miss Burns?”
People heard the loud crash but being in the stairwell, the sound was muffled and everyone carried on and didn’t think to check there.
“Help me. I’m hurting,” she said as blood flowed from her nose.
She smiled. “Well, Mia, that was my plan.” She kneeled down so that Mia could see her face. “To hurt you,” she whispered into her ear. “You’ve hurt me so many times. Look at what you have done to my arms bitch.”
“I’m sorry,” she cried.
She stood over her and stepped onto her fingers. She moaned out. Tamara said, “Oops. Sorry about that. Turn over.” She explained. “If we were up there and we were struggling. Your body would’ve landed this way once you fell,” she grinned. She couldn’t move because her ribs were fractured so Tamara turned her over.
“Please go for help,” she pleaded with Tamara.
“You’ve messed with the wrong bitch this time Mia. I tried to get you to join forces with me, but no. What did you tell me in front of everyone? I don’t need you. Remember that, I should just let you bleed until someone comes and finds you.”
“No, please help me Tamara,” she whispered.
She joyfully wrapped her hands around her throat laughing. “I could take your life right now!” But she decided against it. Mia gasped for air. “Oh, I’m Tamara now, but earlier I was a bitch. I thought I was the one that was unstable. Next time you touch me or even look at me crooked I will cut your eye-balls out of your head. I’ve killed before and I won’t hesitate to do it again. If you mention my name to anyone I will be back and next time you won’t survive. I promise you that and I keep my promises too.” She kicked her (not hard but not necessarily soft) in her pregnant belly as she stepped across her to get out of the door. “Help, please help me,” Tamara mocked her as she exited through the door.
“Mia needs a doctor on the first floor!” She yelled to Ms. Woods holding onto her stomach. “Call Dr. Shavers,” she hollered.
Ms. Woods asked, “What happened to you?”
“Mia tried to push me down the stairs on the third floor and both of us fell. Look at my arms?” She started to cry. “I tried to grab her, but she fell anyway.”
Dr. Woods hugged Tamara. “It’s going to be alright. You need to be checked out.” “I only fell onto my knees.”
“You still need to be checked out okay,” she told her, “I’ll call Dr. Shavers and see if she can check you out.”
“Sure, but I’m fine. I just hope that she’s okay,” she wiped her fake tears. “I knew something like this was going to happen.”
Mrs. Woods asked, “Why would you say that?”
She hugged Mrs. Woods. “She picked on me every day. This time instead of me falling, she did.”
Tamara had seen Mrs. Shavers running towards the elevators looking nervous.
The sounds of the ambulance truck, and the ruckus from the staff and students brought back feelings of deja` vu from the numerous times they were called out to her house, especially when Lasha had died. She went into the lobby and looked outside the window while everyone gathered around being noisy. The EMT’s had her on the stretcher as they whisked her away. You heard Miss Williams’ big mouth all the way from outside yelling. “Okay the shows over, get back to business!”
DIARY ENTRY 10
Well, I’ve done it again. I can’t write long because I have to get ready and go see my crazy doctor. I will have me a new cellmate when I come back in the room. I’ve plotted for a while now to pay her back, but I had to be very careful and plan my stuff out carefully. One thing that my mind doctor has taught me was to be very patient. And I’ve utilized that skill this past week. I let that bitch push me around just so I could have witnesses to verify that she in fact, did wrong things to me. Everybody in here thought that I was scared of her, and that’s the way I wanted everyone to think. I had to set my pride aside for this. I have asked that bitch to join me, and she had the audacity to turn me down. For two months, I took bullshit from her. Not knocking her teeth down her throat took all the strength that I had in my body. I have been participating in Yoga classes to help me not kill her.
“Channel your anger. Breathe in. Hold it in. Turn the channel to something nice and EXHALE. Relax your muscles. Let your mind take you somewhere else.”
That shit works! Do you know how many times that girl has made me mentally visit some other place? I’ve been to Jamaica, Hawaii, The Moon, and then I went to Saturn. If you find yourself with the same problem, you had to take yourself further than the last time that’s what led me to insanity with her. She made me bleed so it was time to show her who’s the Head Bitch in Charge. She tore open that envelope with me. I’ve kept a separate diary of everything that she did to me. I kept copies of all the written complaints that I gave to Miss Williams. My counselor knows about it: my psychiatrist knows about it, Dr. Shavers knows about it, the girls and me. A detective came out and asked me a couple of questions about the incident. I told him what I wanted him to know, and I had witnesses to back my story up. Miss Williams was nowhere to be found when it was her turn to be questioned. Some reporters were asking questions about the incident and. Miss William’s assistant told the press that Mia had fallen down the stairs because of her loosened shoestrings. When Miss Williams went to the hospital to check on her niece, reporters were outside waiting for her statement about the incident. When I came back from seeing the mind doctor, Miss Williams interrupted our session to tell me to come to her office because she needed to talk to me. She explained to me what she had told the press. She lied of course, in order to save her own big behind. The last thing that she needed was bad publicity for the center. I wasn’t listening to her. Everything she said went in and out until I heard those famous words.
“What do you want?”
I sat in the chair crying like I was so disturbed about what happened. “I have a copy of all the letters that I wrote about your niece bothering me.” I rubbed it in as thick as possible. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down this.
1. I want access to the phones at all times.
2. Access to the showers, anytime I want.
3. I want Jessica to go get my snacks at least twice a week instead of once a month.
4. I want visits at any and all times.
5. I want my male visitors to be able to go into that room on the second floor and visit privately.
6. I want a small television and radio in my room, but I will keep it down.
She didn’t have a problem with my demands except for number five. She told me that she couldn’t do that so I told her that I was going to tell them the truth. After we debated for five minutes, she finally agreed to it. I told her to make sure that she informed her stupid security guards of my demands. I walked out of the office with a handful of pas
ses and jumped high into the air. I almost forgot that I carried a heavy load. Ladies and gentlemen, The Oscar for best actress goes to Tamara Brown for obvious reasons. Will you please sign my contract? Miss Williams looked at me like I was crazy, but she signed it anyway.
The first person I called using my pass was my grandma, and she told me that Diane had lost her baby last week. I didn’t want to talk long and have people asking questions, but I needed to talk to her, and she was glad to hear from me. I took my shower and when I went to the room, there she was (Snow-White) Tina Young without her seven dwarfs. Later I found out that she was mixed. Her absent father was black and her alcoholic mother is white. I don’t know what she did to get in trouble, but she looks like a good girl if I have ever seen one. She’s probably one hundred pounds with wet clothes on. She’s sixteen but she looks twelve. We talked for a while because she asked me a thousand questions, and I explained the rules to her. She seems okay but things aren’t always the way they appear. Whenever you think your life is messed up, you come across someone else whose life is more screwed up than yours. Her mother had her prostituting when she was thirteen. She’s experienced things I couldn’t have imagined. I would’ve been locked up forever for killing everyone starting with my mother.
T.B.
WELCOME BACK
For the two weeks that Mia was in the hospital recuperating from a fractured hip, leg, foot and a broken heart because her baby boy’s heart wasn’t strong enough to survive outside the womb. The girls at the center enjoyed not being annoyed by her. The atom-sphere just felt clearer without her negative existence, people speculated about what really had happened that day, but she was gone, and they appreciated the peace while it lasted. Even the instructors recognized the difference in the air, but she was their boss' niece. What could they do or say? The silent celebration was over because Miss Williams was on her way to the hospital to bring her back.
Rumor spread rapidly that Mia was due to return to the center today around two o’ clock. Tamara had played sick from school because she wanted to be able to lounge around and wait on Mia. She paced the lobby’s floor eating Twinkies and chips.
“It’s two twenty. Where are they?” She flopped down on the sofa. We need another damn sofa. Tamara thought she heard a car door slam. She attempted to get off the sofa but fell back down.
“Not them,” she said disappointed, looking out of the window with her elbows propped on the landing as she rested her hands on her cheeks.
Tamara had schemed with Tracey and Randie at exactly three thirty to find Yasmine (Mia’s roommate) and go to the game room. Yasmine loved to play pool, but she could never get anyone to play with her because she was too damn good. She always won their candy money. Money was hard to come by in here, and they wasn’t going to give it all to her. Tamara had given them money to play against Yasmine. Money that she knew she would never see again. They were going to lose, but she needed her away from the room and that was worth every penny. Tamara followed Yasmine after every class without being obvious to anyone. Yasmine was always the last one to take a shower after gym class. She went into the gym’s locker room to shower before her next class started and Tamara snuck in behind her.
The guard who sat at the desk was busy doing a crossword puzzle, not paying attention to the students. Tamara waited between the lockers until she heard water running and Yasmine humming, The Deele’s (Two Occasions.) She crept into her locker and retrieved some things from her pants pocket. “I need this.” She walked out the locker room and handed something to Randie and Tracey who stood by the door in the hallway just as she had instructed them to do.
Yasmine rushed to math class because she was late again. This was the third tardy in three weeks; Ms. Jacobs was going to give her extra homework. Randie and Tracey asked her if she wanted to play pool with them at three today. “You got money?” She asked, still walking towards her class.
“Do we have money?” They laughed. “Just meet us in the game room at three. Better yet we’ll come to your math class to get you,” said a trash talking Tracey. “Oh wait, Mia is coming back today,” she remembered.
Randie asked with a toothpick hanging from her lips, “How much money is she going to give you since you claim you are going to take our money? All I need is an hour to get your money,” she replied.
“We will see.”
They whispered to each other as they headed back to their class laughing.
The guard looked up and yelled. “Get back to class! And stop horsing around!
Randie rolled her eyes, and flipped her “the bird” as she walked on to class. “What does it look like we are doing?”
Yasmine opened the door to the classroom, causing everyone to suddenly stop what they were doing. Everyone stopped writing and stared directly at her.
Kim laughed, and shook her head because she had told her to stop being ashamed of that scar across her stomach from her C-section and take a shower with everyone else.
“Miss Davison, how many times are you going to step into my class late,” the teacher asked with her glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose.
“I’m sorry.”
“Write 200 times that I’m sorry for always being late to Math class, and I will learn how to be on time,” she said.
Shit! “Are you serious?”
She looked serious.
“Okay.”
The girls laughed.
“Ladies,” she yelled.
Mia swiped her keycard to get into her room. The green dots lit up, and she turned the knob and swung in on her crutches. “Yasmine,” she called out.
She used her good foot to close the door behind her. She tossed her purse and the keycard onto the dresser. She attempted to lock the door but was greeted by Tamara standing there with an open pocketknife. It startled her terribly.
Tamara laughed. “You’re more messed up than I thought.”
“Oh my God,” she mumbled.
“Hi,” she smiled like she was actually glad to see her. “Don’t call on him now missy. Were you thinking about him when you were fucking with me?” she asked, as she playfully jabbed at her with the knife. She lightly kicked her right crutch causing her to lose her balance. Tamara shook her head. “What? You didn’t miss me?”
Her eyes had widened by the second. You smelled the fear on her.
“If you dare try to open up your mouth and scream, I will stick this knife right here in your main artery,” she whispered.
She assured her that she didn’t mention to anyone what had happened.
Tamara locked and placed the chain on the door. “We need to have a one on one before anyone disturbs us. I’m not worried about that because it’s my word against yours and what I found out lady is that you are not too well-liked by your peers.”
“Please don’t hurt me Tamara,” mumbled Mia. She snatched her crutches completely from her making her stagger to the floor. “Get on the bed,” she grabbed her by the arm and tossed her onto the bed like a doll. She yelled out because she fell directly onto her fractured hip.
“Why are you doing this to me?” she asked with tears in her eyes. Her body had lain twisted on the bed. “Turn around,” she said with the knife pressed into her chin. “You’re not so big and bad now are you, Miss Burns? I would tell you welcome home, but I wouldn’t mean it. And I don’t say things that I don’t mean. I have this sick, twisted honesty shit going on. Nevertheless, I can tell you why I’m here. I wanted to tell you in person, woman to woman that I don’t like you very much.”
“Yeah, I figured that.”
“Look at what you’ve done to my arms M.B. It looks like a tiger had gotten a hold of them. No one hurts me and gets away with it. You’ve done your share of shit to me. I took shit from you because I had bigger plans rather than whipping your ass. Oh you deserved so much more than an ass whipping M.B.”
“I just was fooling around with you,” explained Mia. “I play around with everyone like that.”
“Well,
just in case if you haven’t noticed I don’t play or like games and I’m not a child so I leave that to the kids. Have you talked to your fat ass auntie?
Did she tell you what she wanted us to say about what happened?”
“Yeah, she told me.”
“Good, just in case you wanted to change your story or confess to your BFF. My version is that you tried to push me down the stairs, and you fell instead. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Everyone knows that you always picked on me baby,” she kissed her on the cheek. She closed the knife and walked towards the door without looking back. She stopped. “If you mumble my name, or even look at me funny. I will be back. You won’t know when I’m coming, where I’m at, or what I’m going to do when I find you. I got a feeling that we are going to be ace boons after all. So until next time, keep your mouth shut, sweetie. Oh, and do you need these?” She tossed her crutches in the middle of the floor and went out of the room giggling. Mia painfully sat up on the bed in a state of shock. She was dazed as she looked in the direction where Tamara had just dis-appeared like she was Houdini the magician. Her body had begun to tremble uncontrollably like an addict in detox.
“She could’ve killed me. I need to tell someone.”
She pictured Tamara’s face saying. “I’ll come back.” She realized that she hadn’t locked the door since Tamara walked out. She painfully jumped off of the bed, grabbed her crutches and locked it. She wanted to take a shower, but she pictured Tamara hiding in the shower with a gun. “I’d better keep this to myself. Where’s Yasmine when I need her?”
IT’S A FULL MOON
October 30, 1993 Jueves (Thursday Night)
10:47 p.m.
Tamara lay on her pregnant side, in bed watching television looking as though the Pillow Monster had swallowed her alive. She had a pillow underneath her head, stomach, neck and feet. She also had two pillows between her legs. She tried to sleep but was very uncomfortable; the baby was pressing against her bladder and wasn’t just moving-she was dancing in there. A thin white sheet barely covered her semi-naked body. It was burning up in the room. Tamara glanced over enviously at Tina because she slept cozily like a baby with a smile on her face. Whoever was responsible for controlling the heat in the building must’ve been anemic, Tamara figured. It stayed hot all winter long.