by Tameka Hicks
“Tamara, you can get her back after you finish school and get your life together, lie back down.”
“Fuck you bitch! Just because you didn’t love me and gave me up doesn’t mean that’s what I wanted to do with my baby. I knew you were up to no good. You are behind all this bullshit!”
“Tamara, I just didn’t want you to end up like me,” she said with tears in her eyes.
“You can dry those fake ass tears up. The “Concerned Mother Show” has been cancelled. You can fool them, but that’s your way to pay me back! All of you are going to pay, if I can’t get her back when I’m done with school. I promise you that!”
Jeanette whispered in her ear. “You can’t prove that I did this purposely,” she smiled. “I’m in control.”
They stared at each other without saying a word.
Miss Williams told Dr. Woods, “She needs another IV in her other arm.” The doctor came in with a syringe filled with another dose of medicine to calm her down.
“You’re not touching me ever again,” she pointed to Dr. Shavers.
“Tamara, I’ll help you. Calm down baby,” explained Dr. Woods, as she quickly stuck her with the needle.
“Who has my baby,” she mumbled.
“I’m not telling you until you finish school. I’ve talked to the family, and she seems like a good mother, and the husband is nice too,” said Jeanette.
“How would you know a good mother? My baby could be with a lunatic.” The last thing she muttered out before the medicine won the battle. “Let something happen to my baby before I get to her-you will be sorry.” Everyone stood there with a perplexed look on their faces. These people are going to pay for this stunt. I’m so mad I can explode. Visit a better place and stay there for a while. Patience is a virtue. I have bigger fish to fry. I have to be able to give her the best. They all better hope that she’s well taken care of, or I’m going to kill them all one by one.
“I promise, I will come and get you, Latea` Brown.”
THE BEGINNING OF LIFE
On July 29, 1994, it was time for the seniors’ graduation ceremony for the girls who successfully completed their classes and certificate programs. Tamara brought her grades from a two point three to a four point zero and became valedictorian of her class. She had done a complete three hundred and sixty degree turn around from the way she once was. Her daughter was her new inspiration to try harder in school, so she would be able to provide a better life for her.
Mia and Tamara were on speaking terms (not buddies, but speaking.) Tamara had asked her to forgive her and quite naturally wouldn’t you have said, “Yes” even if you didn’t mean it? She didn’t know if she was serious, or if it was a trick, but she accepted, apologizing for her behavior and after that they had no problems. Mia had changed the way that she treated everyone else from that day on because she didn’t want to live in fear of what they might’ve done to her. She wasn’t going through that again. She learned the lesson of treating people the way she wanted to be treated.
Tina held her pencil and pretended that it was a microphone. “Tamara is going to be eighteen years old tomorrow. This is the beginning of life for this young woman. How do you feel?”
“I feel excited and anxious to meet my baby.” She asked. “What time is it?”
“Noon,” she said. “So today’s the big day?”
Tamara lay in her bed fully clothed for the ceremony while she polished her toenails black. “I hate graduations, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”
“I’m going to miss you lady,” explained a saddened Tina.
“Me too, but those three weeks will go by before you can blink twice.”
“I hope so.”
“You have to be about your business because you know she wants all of us to fail. That’s more money for her fat ass if we come back here. Remember, we will keep in contact by letters only because I think the phones are tapped.”
“Are you coming to the graduation?”
“I don’t have a ticket,” Tina said. “So why are you teasing?”
“Check underneath your mattress T,” Tamara smiled. She checked underneath the mattress at one end. “You play too much,” she didn’t find anything there and proceeded to look underneath the other end. “When did you slip this ticket underneath my mattress with your sneaky ass?”
She grinned. “You were awake when I did it T,” she laughed. “I wanted to see if I still had it.”
“You do-because I had no clue you had placed this underneath here. What time is the ceremony?”
“Four o’ clock. That’s enough time for you to get ready white girl?” She tossed her pillow at her. “When are we going to see my god daughter?”
“I forgot to tell you that Jeanette wrote me to tell me that the foster parents can’t make it, but they will bring her to me tomorrow when I get out of here,” she explained to Tina.
“So how can you sit there and be so calm about this Mara?” She blew and waved her hands to dry them. “I have a plan mama. Don’t worry.”
“Am I involved in this plan?”
She shook her head.
“Why in the hell not,” she questioned.
“Because if you get caught that would automatically give you more time. We need you out there, not locked up in here.”
“What are you going to do? And how will this help you get Tia? You, without a scheme, are like businessmen without plans.”
“I’ll tell you.”
They figured it was safer to discuss their plan in the bathroom from prying ears. Tamara explained that anyone could have been outside their door listening in on their conversation. Yes she was paranoid.
“You’re going to do what? Have you lost your mind?”
“Shut up and listen to me,” she covered up Tina’s mouth. “It’s going to work. It has to work T, or those people could run off with my baby.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe your mother may not be telling the truth?”
She interrupted sarcastically. “You mean Jeanette?”
“Okay, Jeanette is lying and that family had already left town with her, and she’s just stalling, what if she has no intention of the two of you ever reuniting again.”
She applied her black lipstick onto her lips in the mirror. “That’s why I have to do this today.”
“Today,” she probed.
“You don’t put off for tomorrow, what you can do today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed,” replied a laughing Tamara. “I think that’s the way the saying goes. My grandfather always told me that.”
“It makes sense to me. What if you get into trouble for doing this Tamara?”
“You are my best-bud and I love you for being concerned about me, but I will die for what’s mine-she’s all I got in this world.”
“Okay, Whitney Houston.”
They exploded with laughter.
“I was made to believe that I was sent to this place to better my life. The real reason was because I refused to kill my baby. That’s why I am here. I have the second highest grade point average in this entire center, so I kept my part of the deal, but she’s not holding her end up. All I want is my baby, and I’ll go on with my life without her.”
“Your plan is crazy. Do you know that?”
“Maybe so, I’ve learned how to be crazy from the best.”
Thirty minutes later.
Randie pulled down her “D” baseball cap in order to conceal her face and walked towards the stairs going west as Tracey headed east. Tamara pushed the elevator button going up, as she looked around. She wasn’t supposed to be using the elevators since she wasn’t pregnant, and it’s been longer than six weeks since Tia was born, but she had special privileges.
Miss Williams didn’t need or want a repeat of a stairwell incident, so she was granted permission to use them. She stretched her perks out as far as they possibly could go. Miss Williams didn’t want Tamara to call the news reporters and tell them what her niece had done, and she definitely didn
’t want her to explain the circumstances behind what she allowed to happen to her baby. That extra money wasn’t worth the trouble, but it looked good when it was added up for the year on paper. The girls wondered why Tamara could do whatever the hell she wanted, and that’s why Miss Williams, being her first cousin, was created. No one asked questions after that.
“Oh she’s family too,” they rumored. “That’s why.”
The eleventh and twelfth grade classes were cancelled today for the ceremony, and they started to assemble in the auditorium. The sounds of music came from the choir room as the ninth grade girls rehearsed the songs that were to be played during the program. The tenth graders were on a field trip today. Miss Williams didn’t want to be embarrassed because it seemed as though they tended to act a fool every time they were expected not to, so she sent them to Greenfield Village. The proud family members began to gather in the gym for the ceremony.
Why do parents always rush to be the first one to get good seats, but when they arrive, they discover that they weren’t the only ones thinking ahead? You still end up with the seats you would’ve gotten if you left at your regular time.
At exactly 3:02 p.m. the sound of an alarm rocked Loving Center. A voice over the P.A bellowed, “Please form a single line, and find the nearest exit location and meet up in the front of the building!”
“What in the hell,” Miss Williams wondered from the office. “These girls are going to be the death of me.”
Everyone, including the teachers, quickly (and quite orderly) formed lines and walked out of the center with their ears covered up. In the science room, smoke escaped from underneath the door. Four security guards ran into the smoke filled room with fire extinguishers and began to spray the fire that was set to three garbage cans.
“No pushing! Walk out of the center ladies and gentlemen! We have guests, show them that you know how to act,” yelled Miss Williams as she turned off the alarm. She called the fire department before they had arrived and explained that the fire had been contained quickly and safely.
“Who would do something like this?” asked the guard.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to have someone’s head for this. They could’ve burned my center down,” said an angered Miss Williams. “These girls are so stupid! I try and help them, but this is how I get repaid? Tell them to come back in. I have an announcement to make.”
“Yes ma’am,” said one of the guards.
Miss Williams pressed the talk button on the P.A. system that sat on top of a table directly behind her leather chair.
“Ladies, I’m very shocked and disappointed that some-one would deliberately set the garbage cans on fire in the science room or anywhere, for that matter, in this center. We have parents and friends in the building about to celebrate the girls who have completed the program and this happens. I’ve worked too hard to let anyone destroy my center so when and if I find out who pulled a stunt like this, they will be dealt with accordingly. Anyone with information about the person or persons responsible for this should come to my office and you will remain anonymous. Let’s try and enjoy the rest of our beautiful day.”
With a quick push of her feet, she swirled the office chair back around with her immediate thoughts focused on finishing the day’s paperwork before the ceremony. She was surprised and actually shocked as shit to see Tamara Brown sitting in the black comfy chair that she had reserved for one-on-one talks with students and parents. It was as if she just appeared out of thin air. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. Tamara held what appeared to be some kind of semiautomatic pistol. She knew this because she had seen “The Revolvers.” Oh yes, she had seen them. When she was younger, her dad sometimes came home after a night of heavy drinking and would wake her. He would have his snub-nosed .38 which he called “little Bertha” and would take her out onto the back porch, and commence to fire all six shots. Sherita would cringe and cover her ears as “little Bertha” roared only a few feet away from her.
She remembered thinking how much she would never drink or would like to be on the receiving end of those shots and now here she was staring at a mentally unstable student with a weapon that fired at least double the amount of rounds that “little Bertha” fired without re-loading.
Oh my god, Miss Williams thought to herself.
She raised her hands up. “Tamara, wait a minute. What’s going on sweetie? Put the gun down,” she pleaded with her.
She cocked the gun. “I’m not your sweetie Miss Williams, and I’m not going to put the gun away until you tell me what I want to know or I’ll kill you right here, right now.”
Sherita quickly glanced up at the door and thought. Shit! It’s locked. Damn it. There’s nowhere to run.
She held the gun with both hands pointing it directly at her head. “Don’t be fucking stupid Sherita.”
“Calm down Tamara. We can talk about whatever is bothering you.”
Tamara thought back on one of her sessions with her psychiatrist Dr. Waters as she told her the exact same stupid thing. They could talk about whatever was bothering her. That pissed her off then and it’s totally pissing her off now because neither one of them gave a damn about what was wrong with her, that was part of the program.
“You can cut the shit because I know you don’t give a damn about me. Save that for a silly ass student who believes you,” she carelessly waved the gun as she talked to her.
“Tamara, what’s the matter?” she asked nervously.
Tamara laughed, sounding like a psychopath. She stood up from the chair, all the while keeping her eyes on the prize until she had gotten on the side of her.
“What are you about to do?” She’s going to kill you, Sherita thought.
“I have a loaded gun with two clips in my pocket and some rope. What the fuck do you think I’m about to do with it?”
Conscience 1 thought: Hit this big bitch with the end of the gun in her lying ass mouth. She’s practically responsible for your baby not being here. Do something to her and let her know who she’s dealing with, Tamara.
Conscience 2 thought: Don’t hit her Tamara. You can scare her, but don’t touch her. Hit her fat ass in the stomach and see if jelly comes out. Do you want to go to prison? No you don’t. Let her answer for herself, she can think on her own. I say shoot her ass. You would tell her that. You’re such a devil. Goodie-Too-Shoes. She’s so fat, she wouldn’t feel it, but I bet you she’ll think twice before she does this to another girl. Teach her a lesson Tamara. If you shoot this woman you will never see your baby again and the only place you will see would be a jailhouse. You’re such a push over Angel. You better breathe in and out. Be cool. Get the information from her, but don’t hurt anyone. I’m telling you. You better listen to me this time girl. Think about Tia. I ought to knock you upside the head. Why would you bring that up? Why wouldn’t I? You’re sneaky just like me, but I’m the bad one? Yes you are. Listen to me Tamara. Oh my! Don’t poke me with that fork,” said Tamara’s conscience.
She tied Miss Williams’ hands behind the chair while explaining that she didn’t intend on hurting her, but she would if she made her. “Do you know how many girls you’ve pissed off simply because you owned this place? You’ve constantly cursed out the students and have managed to make your workers feel like shit so it could’ve been anyone of them that decided to kill you. “Poor Miss Williams, it’s a shame that she jumped out of the window and committed suicide.”
No matter how she tried not to show fear, tears strolled down her fat cheeks as she knew that Tamara was going to hurt her somehow. Tamara checked her watch. It read three thirty. “It’s almost time for graduation. If you’re going to make it alive, is strictly up to you, Sherita. Don’t cry though. It’ll work out,” she used the knife from her left hand and wiped the tears from her right cheek. She used the barrel of the gun in her right hand and wiped her tears from her left cheek.
“Do you remember when you told me that everything was going to be alright?”
She n
odded.
“Now where’s my baby?”
“I don’t know Tamara,” she said, sobbing.
She forcefully placed the gun into Sherita’s mouth. “Stop all that crying shit right now. You weren’t crying when you gave my baby up for adoption,” she informed her. “Now I’m going to ask you one more fucking time or I’m going to put the silencer on this gun and blow your damn brains out of your fat head.”
“I swear to you. I don’t know,” she wailed.
“Okay one, two…”
“Get my keys off the desk and unlock that door right there,” she nodded at the door. “And then you have to open up the safe deposit box and get your file out.”
“I’m glad that you decided to see it my way because I really don’t want to kill you Sherita.”
Sweat ran from her forehead into her eyes, this caused her vision to be blurred. Tamara fumbled with the keys trying to find the right one to open up the first door.
“Don’t try anything funny.”
She insured her that she wasn’t going to.
“What’s the code?”
“Six, five, four, four,” she whispered.
“Six, five, four, four, six, five, four, four,” it clicked open.
She quickly flipped through the charts. “Aaron, Adams, Allen, Brown. Here I go, Tamara L. Brown. Now for the truth,” she sat in the chair looking through her folder. “I have the file and now I need for you to run everything down for me.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Start from the beginning.”
“Okay, your mother called and told me that she had a teenager who was pregnant and out of control. She’d heard from a friend about the center, and she wanted you to take advantage of the program. She said that she asked you to get an abortion, but you refused. She also thought that you were pregnant by a married man.”
“What?” she laughed.