by Raven Dark
Oh, how badly I wanted to tell her right then. Tell her that she did belong to someone, she belonged to me. I loved her, and she would always have me. Except I couldn’t.
Love was dangerous to men like me, the loaded gun my enemies wouldn’t hesitate to use, not only against me, but against anyone close to me. Even a secret love, one I kept from the world while playing the part of the cold master in public, would pose a risk I couldn’t take with her. Even if Anika was the only one who knew, saying the words themselves would change everything. It would change the way we looked at each other, the way we behaved toward each other. One slip would be all it took. Once the wrong person knew, it was as good as over. Once I said it, there was no putting the genie back in the bottle. Only, I couldn’t let her go, either.
Since this whole thing started with us, I’d always promised I’d let her go. After the contract was over, that would be the end of it. I wanted to marry her, to possess her for all time, but that wasn’t fair to her. It wasn’t fair to trap her in a life she shouldn’t be in, one that could only get her killed.
“It could have been either of them, couldn’t it?”
I shook my forbidden thoughts off. “What?”
“The one who cut your breaks on the Ferrari. It could have been either family. The woman who tried to have my father killed, or Gavini.”
It sank in, she was right. I stroked her hair, unsure if I was soothing her or myself.
She looked up at me. “I mean, in theory, Gavini can’t come after us, because he knows we’d just expose him as a rat. But if he had us both killed, we couldn’t expose him. He could have done this to get rid of us, thinking we’d both die in the crash.”
My fists clenched automatically at the thought of what whomever was behind this had almost done to us. That they’d almost taken my Anika from me.
“We’ll figure this out.” I came around and knelt in front of her. “I have David already looking into what happened with the car. It seems someone cut the brakes when we were in with your father. Whomever had them cut must have found out when David would be taking his leave, and had someone follow us in the car, or else he couldn’t have known which car to target.”
Her face paled and I closed her hands in mine. “Listen to me, alright? It doesn’t matter who it was. When I find out who’s responsible, I’ll bury them in concrete.”
Warmth filled Anika’s eyes as she squeezed my hand. I thought I saw something else in them, and I wondered what I’d said to her while at the crash. I cradled her face in my hands
“Look, Anika, I probably said some things while I was out of it at the accident. I think I said–”
“Don’t worry about it.” She took my hands from her face, squeezing them. “I won’t hold you to anything you said. Promise.” She kissed my palm.
I furrowed my brow. “What are you talking about? Hold me to what? I was talking about how I kept trying to get you to leave. I just meant I’m not letting you off the hook.”
“Oh…” She looked away, disappointment flashing across her face, then when she looked at me again, her expression was clear once more. “Oh, yeah, I knew that. I know I’m still bound to my contract.”
But that wasn’t what she’d been referring to. What the hell else had I said? Fuck, I wished I could remember. I stood up. “I’m going to get something from the hospital store. You hungry?” She shook her head. “I’ll take you home in a bit, okay?”
“Yup.”
It was still there, that disappointment she’d tried to hide. Her smile was too big, her nod too jerky. I’d let her down, but what had I done?
Then and there, watching her turn to her father, watching her care for him, it slammed into me hard, how completely and utterly I loved this woman. No way in hell was I trapping her in an eternity of the nightmare that was my life through marriage, but I wasn’t ready to let her go. There had to be a way.
Leaving her dad’s room, I didn’t go to the hospital store for food like I’d told her. Instead, I stopped at an expensive jewelry store close to Lakewood.
I’d have given anything to buy her a ring, one with a big ass diamond anyone would see the minute they glimpsed her finger. One that proclaimed she was mine forever. Instead, I bought her the one thing she could accept without signing her own death warrant in the process.
Hours later, as early morning came, we lay together in a Jacuzzi bath the size of a swimming pool. I hated the obnoxious size of the thing, but the soothing heat of the water loosened muscles I didn’t know could be tired. Jets buzzed, turning the water to a froth. Leaning with my back to Kane’s chest, I squirmed into a more comfortable position, head resting on his shoulder.
“This is nice.” I ran my hand over his, which rested on my stomach.
He rumbled in agreement. One of his fingers pushed a curl behind my ear. “Are you sore? Head hurt?”
“A little, but I took my medication a half hour ago. You?”
“Pills are for wimps. I’m good.”
“Kane, there is nothing wimpy about taking care of yourself.”
He pressed my palms together between his huge ones. “I had a brandy. Does that count?” He grinned against my ear.
“No. Jesus, you’re a terrible patient.”
“And you’re my gorgeous nurse, are you then?”
I laughed. “I think that crash made you blind, too.”
“Hey. None of that. If you weren’t injured, I’d put you over my knee for insulting yourself.”
“Sucks for you.”
Behind me, his cock brushed against the small of my back, long and deliciously hard. I could have turned around right there and sucked him to release, but he had other ideas. He snaked his arm around my shoulders from behind, pinning me to him while his other hand grabbed my hip. “There are lots of other ways I can punish you without exacerbating your injuries, Anika. Don’t get smug.”
As usual, his words sent that familiar low heat licking at my pussy. Not good. Until both of us were healed, sex was off the table. I squeezed my thighs together, but it didn’t ease the pressure.
“I’ll behave.”
“There’s a first.”
I chuckled.
He licked the shell of my ear. “Fucking gorgeous.”
I bit my lip to keep from arguing and earning myself whatever sexy torture he might think to inflict on me.
Kane slid his arms around me and held me close, placing kisses on my shoulder. His hands slid over my stomach again. Was it me, or had he gone too quiet?
“What is it, Kane?”
He pushed out a sigh. I got the sense he was choosing his words with care. “Angel, if you ever want to have children, I’ll do what I can to help you. I can get access to the best fertility doctors, and I can get you tests and procedures most people don’t even know about. If there is a way for you to have children, I will make it happen. When…when you’re ready.”
A lump grew fast in my throat. Was it because I knew he was talking about my having kids with someone other than him, or because I knew what it cost him to even discuss helping me in such a way? I cleared my throat.
“Honestly, I’ve never even thought about having them. I guess because with the Gavinis being after my father and I, I just never let myself imagine a life with another person, much less a family.”
No way would I tell him that my stomach fluttered with the thought of having Kane’s child inside me. Or that it churned with the knowledge such a thing was impossible.
“And now?” Kane whispered.
“Huh?” The lethargy brought by the water’s heat faded quickly and I sat up.
Kane pressed his lips together. Then he nudged me with his knee. “Here. Turn around and face me.”
Not sure where he was headed with that request, I stood and turned, straddling him. Strung my arms around his and slid up against him so that fabulous cock rubbed along my pussy. He felt so good.
Kane cradled my hips. “Tell me how you feel about me.”
Throat suddenly dry, I swallo
wed hard. “Um. I…why?” Did he suspect I loved him? Would he end things now that he knew?
“Just tell me. You used to hate me.”
“Yes.”
“Do you still?”
“No. Not like I once did. Kane, what are you getting at?”
“Stay with me, Anika.”
“I am with you.”
“Yes, for six months.”
I scrunched my brows. “I don’t understand. You want to extend the contract? For how much longer?”
Strange, but heat rushed through me at the thought that he wanted me for longer, and I almost agreed then and there. More time with him…my heart rejoiced.
“No, I’m not talking about the contract.” He paused and reached behind him under a terrycloth robe he’d left on the tiled deck. He pulled out a velvet red box, flat and square and the size of his great palm.
At first, a thrilled raced through me, then quickly fizzled. The box was way too big to hold a ring. Kane snapped open the box and held it out between us.
“Oh my God.” I stared. On a bed of black and red velvet, a gorgeous necklace glinted, with a thin, fine chain. Off the end of it hung a peculiar shaped pendent. No bigger than a thumbnail, it was shaped like a cylinder, reminding me of a combination lock, only there were no dials. Something was inserted in the middle of it. Looking close, I could see it was a tiny key. The necklace didn’t seem to have a clasp for taking it off.
“It’s gorgeous, Kane.” My fingers trembled for some reason as I reached out to touch it. “I’ve never seen a necklace like that before.”
“It isn’t a necklace. Anika.” He tilted my chin up. “It’s a collar. The traditional collar worn by women sworn to the Davros men. It has my initial on the front of it, right there.”
I looked close. Yes, I could see it, a little lighter than the rest of the lock, his “D” was embossed into the gold. “Wait, it’s a collar, like a submissive collar?”
“Yes. My family will believe it means you’re my slave. You and I will know different. Angel, I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I want you to stay with me. Not just for six months, and not because of a contract. Stay with me because you want to be mine. Always.”
Always. Oh, God. I wanted to die. How I’d wished for him to say something like this to me. Only, not like this. I’d wanted a different kind of forever, one I knew Kane couldn’t give me.
A storm of mixed emotions tore into me. On one hand, he was asking me to be with him for a lifetime, something I wanted more than anything. But on the other, he wasn’t asking me to be his wife. He wanted me to be his sub. A woman to satisfy his needs when others wouldn’t do.
It was like I was losing something I never had. I put my head back, closing my eyes, crushing the heartache that threatened to tear me apart. I swung off him, shaking my head. Crossed the pool, keeping my back to him.
“Anika.” Water sloshed as he stood up and a moment later, his hands slid over my shoulders. “I’ve upset you.”
I let out a soft scoff. “Kane, how can you ask me that? How can you ask me to…” I trailed off, unable to even say the words.
“Would it be so terrible to belong to me that way? For good?”
“No. Far from it.”
“Then what?”
Not knowing what to say, I tuned to him and dropped my arms.
“Is it because I’m connected to the family?”
“No. It should be. I should be running from this. But that doesn’t matter anymore. You do what you have to in order to stay alive. But you’re getting married in less than six months.”
He let out a long breath. “You know there’s nothing there. Gala is gay, and that won’t suddenly change because she has a ring. Marrying her is a cover to make my father think I’m settling down, nothing more.”
“So, what, you marry her and have me as a sub on the side?” A sub your family thinks is a slave.
“That’s what’s happening now. The world thinks I’m with her.”
“But this would be different. I accepted this arrangement as part of the contract. To accept it in my heart, forever…”
He took my shoulders gently. “It’s a little unorthodox, yes. But first, I won’t be marrying Gala if I can take over my dad’s company without walking down the aisle.”
“And if you can’t? You’ll be a kingpin.”
“We’re not there yet. And even if we were, for a mob boss, having more than one woman is the norm. Gala will be with Holden. She’s already accepted you as part of my life. Hell, she accepted it even before I did.”
I pushed out a sigh and dropped my head back. Part of me wanted to fall to my knees and tell him yes, I was his, all his, for the rest of my days. The logical part of me, the rational part, knew there was no way I could possibly accept what he was asking, no matter how much my body and soul cried out for it. I can’t commit myself to someone who doesn’t love me.
I’d never found any words so painful as the ones I said next. I took his hand, hating the disappointment in his eyes as much as the sadness that crushed my heart.
“Kane, I can’t do what you’re asking. I promised you I’d be with you until the end of the contract. I will be. But that’s all I can give you. I’m sorry.”
His beautiful golden eyes closed and he let my hand slip out of his. Without a word, he took the box with the collar in it from the deck where he’d left it and returned to me. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, slow, lingering, like he thought it might be the last time he’d be able to touch me. Then he sloshed out of the water and up to the deck. He didn’t even bother to dry off before he left the room.
For the first time since I’d met him, I wished I could summon the hatred for him I once carried like a suit of armor. Then it wouldn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t give him what we both wanted. Instead, all I found was a hole in my heart where that hatred had once been.
10
A call came in from my father the following Saturday morning. Anika and I were back in Bel Air, and I was going over some paperwork for a new real estate deal. I pressed the button on my blue tooth to answer the call.
“What do you want, Dad?”
“Don’t think I still can’t teach you a lesson in manners just because you’re a grown man, boy.”
My fist clenched, but I kept my response even as I sat back on the couch and kept typing my amendments to the business contracts the lawyers had done up. “Oh, you mean the way you taught Oliver a lesson?”
“Watch yourself Kane.”
“Around you, always. Are you going to tell me what you want, or did you just call to deliver your morning threats?”
“I heard about that accident you had on the mountain last week.”
“What of it?” There’d been no worry, only annoyance in his voice. Annoyance that he’d almost lost his only legitimate heir.
“You can’t keep playing daredevil with your life, Kane. I didn’t spend thirty-three years raising you to take my place only for you to throw it all away. Where was David during your joyride?”
So, he didn’t know the brakes on the car had been cut. We still hadn’t gotten any leads on which of our enemies had done it, either. I could have set him straight, but if he knew someone had tried to kill me, he’d never leave us alone. The last thing I wanted was him meddling in my life any more than he already did, or having an excuse to get near Anika more often than necessary.
“I have a feeling you didn’t call about my accident. What do you want?”
“Where is the slave?”
I gritted my teeth. He meant Anika. I checked my watch. It was almost nine. With David’s help, Anika and I had spent most of the night investigating the accident. We’d turned up nothing useful, even though we hadn’t gone to sleep until almost six. If I told my father she was still asleep, it would only result in an argument about my being too lenient on my “slave.”
“Get on with it, Pops.”
“Don’t call me Pops.”
I waited for him to go
on.
“You have that charity auction next week. Since you’ll be in LA closing up that resort deal, I expect you to be there.”
Shit. I put my head back against the couch. I’d forgotten. Every year, the Davros family held a number of charity events in different countries. I always donated to them, but other obligations meant I usually had my assistant, Kelly, attend. This particular event was raising money for children in various third world countries. I’d wanted to make a point to go to this one, since Gala had arranged to model at the event, and I always tried to be there for her events when they were in town.
“I’ll be there. I’ll call Gala and arrange to accompany her.”
“Good. I’ll expect the slave to be there too.”
“Of course you do.”
In theory, tradition dictated the slaves the Davros men owned were supposed to attend public functions to wait on their masters. Master never lifted a finger in public, and the slaves saw to this. It was like a secret code. While the public would think they were personal assistants or maids, those within our circle knew they served a much darker purpose. They were status symbols, a man’s inside secret show of power, flaunted for those in the know. It didn’t surprise me my father would expect me to uphold such a tradition with Anika. Except I knew full well the real reason he wanted her to be there, and it had nothing to do with tradition. He wanted her there for the same reason he’d wanted both her and Gala at dinner last week.
“I’m guessing mother will be there,” I added when my father didn’t reply. “She never could pass up a chance to show off the family wealth.”
“The event starts at seven. Kelly’s arranged for you to make a speech.”
I ran a hand down my face. I hated public speaking, but I supposed it was better than letting my father do it. He always had a way of sounding so grandiose and pompous at these things. Kelly, who’d had a crush on me from the moment I hired her, had probably arranged the event to show off my wealth in every way possible. My mother’s meddling would only make it worse.
“Fine. Have her send the speech to me. I’ll go over it now. If that’s all?”