May Be!
I Love You
Kuldeep Sarvaiya
For Ruchi........ Forever and Beyond
Dedicated to my Parents and Grand Parents!!
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my thank Ruchi for being my support throughout the journey of this book writing. She has always believed in me and supported me for all my crazy endeavors. She is a great writer herself, and I took advantage of her ability to my best. I really can't see this book being published without the support of her. There is a saying that "A Successful man has a woman behind his back." Well, I am not sure whether I am successful or not, but I sure got a woman behind my back.
I would also like to thank my parents and grandparents for always being there for me when I needed them most in my life. A lifetime would not be enough to describe their role in shaping my life and character. The person I am and the positions I have achieved is all because of them. I would like to dedicate each and every creation of mine to them, and this book is no exception.
I would like to thank my siblings Maulik and Gaytri, for being my siblings. Just Kidding! Or am I? Well, they have a special role in my life, and they have been playing it very well. I cannot imagine anyone else doing it better than them.
Disclaimer
All the characters, places, names, events, etc. are part of my imagination, and relevance to any living, dead or inanimate object is mere coincidence. The book is solely my opinion based, and it does not mean to harm the sentiments of any religion, caste, sex, or person living or dead in any possible manner.
It was just some random day like every day, and I was active on my Facebook profile. I am a normal boy and don't expect any girl to send me a message, but that day was different. A blip sound-activated my hearing senses, and I looked at automatically opened chatbox. The message reads "Hi" from one of my classmates. For most of the people, it is not a big deal, but for me it was. I was shocked a bit because usually, I don't get a message from any boy even. As a perfect gentleman, a reply to that is needed. I replied in return, "Hey….!! How are you?" You won't believe me, but I thought thrice before pressing the enter button to make sure I am not sending any simple message. An Obvious reply to the above question is, "I am fine." And I received that only but followed by that one more line appeared on my chatbox. It reads, "Hey, Congratulations on your first magazine issue, it really was nice." Then I realized that this is just an ordinary conversation for my efforts. At that time, I thought of starting a science magazine and launched its first issue. When you do something new, and in the startup stage, you have to experiment. So I tested on my classmates. I got a good response from their side, and this was the first one.
There is one saying in Gujarati, "When someone gives you the finger, don't go for hand." But I made that mistake and replied, "Oh, Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it. Would you like to be part of a team?" By team, at that time, I meant just her and me. Because I poured sweat and blood to create the first issue of my magazine, I pressed the enter button in excitement, and then a wild thought appeared in my mind that what an idiot I am? There was no need to ask her that question. Not everybody is an annoying person, just like you. She is not going to reply to this proposal. But there was nothing which I can do at that time.
After about five minutes, another blip sound brought me back to the real world from my thoughts, and the message reads like this "Yes, definitely I would like to be part of your team. I like your work." Oh well, that was something like I hit the target. Not because I get a girl in my team, but I got a volunteer for my magazine. The second characteristic of mine is I am destitute at continuing the conversation. My mind was blank like anything, and I was not getting any words to carry forward the conversation. After about five minutes of vigorous thinking, I replied, "Oh great, and thank you very much. I will provide you details of your part of work sooner." The immediate reply flashed on my computer screen was "K." This "K" is the most significant conversation killer in the history of the internet, and for a person like me who is dull in talking with girls, it is like climbing Mountain Everest on one breath. I said bye, and the same was the reply from her, and the story ends there itself.
Well, let me introduce myself to you. I am Aditya, sort of average guy from the hostel with not so very famous personality. Not so famous in class and not so with the faculty. Well, I am a college student and got admission in a reputed college of Gujarat for my graduate study in Bachelor of Pharmacy. I had a very dark past, and thus my nature is highly introverted and doesn't like at all to socialize, but on social media, my presence is there. I was in the hostel in my school days, and thus interaction with people, family, relatives, and girls were rare. If you think I was in a ghost hostel, then it was not so, but I never liked to talk to my hostel mates. They usually used to bully me, and thus I used to keep a distance from them, and that resulted in highly introvert nature in me. I used to create my random thought world and like to roam in there only.
But after entering college, I had to interact with boys and girls more often because lots of activities like practices and submission need to be prepared in the group. However, the good thing for me here was my reputation. I had a good reputation among my classmates as far as I know in college. This thing matter to me because the treatment I got in my boarding school was horrible. Besides being an introvert, I am shy, always happy in every situation, and kind of adventurous.
Okay, enough of me. For ordinary people, college life includes three Fs. These three F's are fun, friends, and field trips (Journey with friends). But for me, it included just home and college. The problem was with my college itself; we had so tight schedule we never get time to relax. Out of all those people who have three F's, some lucky people have the fourth F of fame, and they have the cherry on top of G. This G is for girlfriend, which they usually get for their popularity in the class and college. For me, these things were like movie love stories, and they can never be real. However, the fact is that I never tried to be around any girl or was desperate to get one. I wanted my life to be reasonable and under my control itself.
The actual story of my college life begins now. It has its ups and downs and everything which made my experience too enjoyable to date. A student faces too many stressful conditions in school life until his 12th standard. The last year of school is the deciding year for the future, and parents give hopes that this is last year in which you have to study hard. From next year onwards, you will be free for a lifetime. That next year never comes in a person's life, and one finishes his lifetime intending to get a dream life.
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Chapter I: The Transition
I just finished my 12th and was enjoying a long vacation before the actual admission. The results were not out yet. My house was under construction at that time. Actually, we had a small row house in a small town in Gujarat, but my mother felt it too small for our family, and thus, my parents decided to build one more floor on top of our house. I was a bit confused and nervous too because tomorrow was the result day. Everybody was busy in one or another work. By evening level of my tension goes above my capacity, but as per my nature, I was quiet and busy watching television. The workers were busy building the house and roaming here and there and keep on yelling at one another.
At last, all of them left and felt a bit of peace. I knew my night is not going to pass thoroughly, and thus I tried to distract my mind by involving in some other activity. I got up from my bed and got one sharper plate and joined my brother and cousin to remove the hardened cement from the floor. It was around 1 am, and I was yawning like anything.
The next scene in front of my eyes was my father instructing me to wake up. I looked at my clock, and it was 8 in the morning. I got up from
the bed and finished the normal routine faster than regular. It was about 9 in the morning, and I was ready. My father started a bike, and we went to some random uncle's home. I guess he was a colleague of my father and we asked them if their internet is working or not? They said yes its working and we connected to the result web site. My heartbeat goes beyond the level I can imagine, and with all the excitement, I looked at the computer screen. In no fraction of time, my enthusiasm turned to disappointment and sorrow. It was the worst performance of mine to date. I just got 64% in my board final exam. The same reactions were there on my father's face, and he too got sad. We somehow recovered when some random uncle congratulated us for getting 64% on boards exam. We hardly smiled back at them. I felt that smile as the smile I might ever have on gunpoint.
We reached home, and almost half of our neighborhood was waiting at our door. I don't know what their intention was there, but they all were curious to see the result. The scene was like a reporter asking a criminal what crime he has made and how he did all that, and my father acted like police, which avoids the reporters to make our way home. With a big smile on the face, my mother asked, how much? I couldn't reply. My father replied with disappointment and anger in his voice that it's just 64%. In Indian society, getting the average percentage in the range of 45-70 is like you have to live a miserable life with wounds on every single part of your body. I knew that now, the rest of the month is going to be tough for my family and me. The mobiles started ringing, and all of a sudden, my relatives started taking an interest in my life. They all wanted to know my percentage, and with each call and sympathies, they gave me my confidence level was getting low.
Like an old saying worst day don't last long and the same happened to me as well. The admission process in colleges started and filled forms in almost every possible branch I can apply. After a long, painful, and heartbreaking wait of about two months, I got admission to Pharmacy College in my locality. But what I've been through, I didn't want me to be at home again. I never prayed after my result ever to god, because at that point, I just lost faith in them. When I was small, I used to visit the temple, join hands, close eyes, and try to calm my mind. But as I grew up, started demanding the things I needed in my life. But after the result, that slap taught me there is no one to listen to your requests. It's you who have to hear one's prayers and work hard enough to achieve them.
I almost took admission to the college of my locality but then later in further vacancy led me to one of the most excellent colleges of Gujarat for pharmacy. I applied for admission to MBBS, but with these many marks, I was not going to get anything. But to my surprise, I was eligible and was getting admission in dental courses as well. Now I had to choose whether I want to spend my life treating dental problems of the patients or want to deal with medicines. Since I get admission to self-finance college in the dental course, I thought of not spending big bucks of money in that course and took in self-financed reputed pharmacy college.
Now, this filled myself with a new dose of confidence, and the system of reservation I used to hate in my school life allowed me to fight back. In a family as well, everyone got new hope and started preparation for my transfer from home to Ahmedabad. To avoid the horrible experiences of the hostel again, my parents didn't want me to be in a hostel or PG. Thus my maternal grandparents agreed to shift along with me. The only and bigger and important advice I got from my parents as well as "Do not fall in LOVE. None in the family has ever made such a mistake, and you have to continue the legacy". I had no problem in saying YES at that time because I knew that that is not going to happen in my life. Because to fall in love, you should have a charming interactive personality and a method on how to talk with girls. I lack all of these, and thus I was pretty sure that the above instruction would be fulfilled as such. All other instructions were common when a boy moved away from home.
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It was the very first day of my college, and that ceremony was known as orientation day. Like all other people, I was excited too. I was never punctual, and on that day even I continued my legacy. I was late for 1.5 hours, and the ceremony was already started. An eminent person gave one after other lectures, but it was of my least concern. I was busy looking at my classmates, and almost all of them looked bigger. Somehow at lunchtime,, I managed to find a fellow of my height. I am 5'5," but still, I looked like a small boy in front of them. My inferiority complex told me right away that this is not a place for you. Look at their personality, their clothes, their attitude, and everything. But then my confidence told me that brings it on a boy; I am not afraid of anything. I'll dig out my way and create an impression of my own. I am here to recover my impression and gain my reputation back in the eyes of my parents, and then I lost in some random thoughts. The next thing I knew was the lecturer says, "Thank you" and ending his talk. People started their fake claps as if they liked every word of the person.
The lectures passed, and even the days passed. After three days, the whole orientation was over, and the only thing I grasped from it was, here in this college, there are 100 ways to get failed, but just a single way to pass is hardworking. The marks of my 12th board slapped me so hard that I knew that I had to work hard to regain my pride. On the very first day and the lecture, I studied like a pro. Gave attention to every single word told by the professors and finished the first day. Making friends is never tough for anybody to date, I guess. I got some friends too, but I require a hell lot of time to get used to them. The days were passing, and I was paying full attention to study, but for a person like me who gets bored to anything easily is a tough task to stick on one. Slowly and gradually, my mind started getting diverted to gossip in the lectures, laughing and everything. It might be a month hardly, and we got an exam for us. I prepared too hard for that and secured pretty awesome marks as well.
But the days are too long when you got nothing to do for or anybody to talk to. So I decided to write a diary on a daily basis. The reshuffling for Medical and paramedical branches was going on at that time, and I still had the hope that I might get in some self-financed medical college. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I didn't get into medical college, but I did get into dental college. The fees were 3.5 lakhs per annum, and guess what the figure exactly matched with my dad's annual salary. That thought only scared me enough that if he is going to spend all the money on my education, how we are going to eat and teach my siblings, as I am not the only son of my parents. My parents ran here and there and got details about whether to put their son in dental college or not. They got negative feedback and the same from me as well. I dropped the plan of being a doctor and finally made up my mind to finish the pharmacy itself.
80% of my batch consisted of people who wanted admission in medical but had to opt for the pharmacy. Indeed the environment of the society is such that people either think pharmacists as someone who sits in a medical store and sells the drugs which illiterate people can do as well they otherwise believe b.pharm as study regarding Farm. The reputation and respect a doctor get are never given to pharmacist. Well, I can't expect the same respect as a doctor, but not even 1% is given to the doctor. As the days passed, I came to know that I had to study mathematics, engineering, botany, pharmacology, the anatomy of the body, and chemistry. Still, at the end of the bachelor's, we don't get the job of any. We study the same as engineers, doctors, lab technicians, but we are not offered any job or that respect. This information was enough to realize that no matter how great I am going to do in exams and practical, I am not going to get the job quickly or get a job at all. One can lose his hope at the very beginning of the course.
Since I chose a pharmacy, I decided to make the best out of it and started my quest. Its normal routine when you get enrolled in college. The bright student who wants to show off how bright they are they ask the percentage of others. I always hated this process, even at the time, I used to get good scores. So the same was happening today, and everybody was discussing their percentage. One by one, all call out their na
mes and percentage, and they were ranging in the '60s and '70s. When my turn came, I said 54%, and a moment of pause was there. Everybody looked at me like I announced: "Nobody moves, hands up." But suddenly I heard a prompt from the backside that this is all due to this reservation system. People like him can even now get admission to a prestigious college like this. I oppose this system, and I even sent a mail to our chief minister to stop this reservation system. The person who said those words was Kunal. I just looked to him and didn't uttered a word at that time but told myself that we have to show this man that not all persons who get admission via quota are idiots. Some are people like me who get a second chance due to this quota system. I was telling these things to myself, and another person prompted, "hey you Kunal, mind your words, I will show you that quota system is not useless. I will get good marks then you in the next exam," and the main topic remain aside, and now a bunch of people was sharing their valuable ideas whether the reservation should be there or not. I lost in my thoughts as I was not at all interested in that debate. Was reservation a good thing or not? The person who blamed me and said harsh words was not wrong actually. He didn't get in medical, and thus, he was frustrated, so the frustration came out on me. But on the other hand, I just got a second chance to prove myself due to the reservation system. Before I came to any conclusion, the lecture started, and I dropped my mental debate.
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It was about a month and a half, and most of the people had their groups. It was me who was least socialized, but some people like the least socialized people. It was break time, and everybody was busy shouting and talking as if you entered the market. I was sitting on a bench, thinking actively, when all of a sudden, thoughts got interrupted by the sudden force of a person who displaced me from seat occupied it. I was shocked at the first moment because I saw him the very first time this month and a half. He was Naman, quite mature looking boy (mature just because he was lazy enough not to shave regularly.) who just interrupted me from my routine. He said, "Hi," and I replied a lame "Hi" as I was annoyed by his presence. He just started a talk with me, and I then joined him in it. That becomes his daily routine to come over my place, displace me and talk on some random topic that never mattered to me. Soon he became my good friend I started hanging out with him and moved two benches ahead, to mix in their group.
May be! I Love You Page 1