by Cheri Lewis
“It’s fine, porcupine,” he says from behind the curtain.
I smile at his silly rhyme, when I finish I flush and reach to wash my hands. “Yeow!” Jessie cries. Then I hear two loud thuds. I know immediately what had happened and I burst out laughing. He sticks his head out from behind the shower curtain. “That got hot! I ping ponged off the walls.” I laugh even harder; Jessie shoots me a bird and disappears back behind the curtain.
I wash my hands and quickly leave the bathroom. I then stop by the kitchen to feed my darling diva kitty before she falls over from starvation. Jessie has apparently started the coffee so I fix my coffee and watch Prima crunch on her food. I hear a strange noise, a thud, and then another thud. I walk back to the bathroom, “Jessie is that you making those noises?”
“I don’t think so, I’m getting out now,” he says as he turns off the water.
I walk back into the kitchen and a thud sounds again. It must be Tank. I walk upstairs and follow the mysterious thuds. I didn’t realize until now, but apparently Tank's office is directly above or right near the kitchen downstairs, because that’s where all the thuds are coming from. I take two steps into his office. Tank's back is to me. He’s holding on to his desk with both hands leaning on them. He stands up and kicks his desk, Wham! “Are you alright?” I ask worried.
He never acknowledges me, continuing to stand with his back to me; he raises his hands and laces his fingers together on the back of head. He then looks toward the ceiling as he talks to himself, “What am I missing? What am I missing? It’s right here, what am I missing?” he chants agitated.
I take a step back to leave; he drops his hands and spins around quickly. “Tell me again, from the moment I left yesterday everything that happened.”
“We cut your grass and I really wanted to apologize—”
“Right now I don’t give a damn about my front yard. I need to know who came and went yesterday.”
I swallow hard when I remember that I hadn’t told him his in-laws had stopped by, “First, with everything going on I forgot to tell you that your in-laws stopped by.”
He studies my face a second before he asks quietly, “What’d they want.”
“They said that Christine had told them they needed to come by. It was urgent.”
He shakes his head. “Good ol’ sweet Christine, always scheming to get her way.”
I don’t ask what that means, even though I want to know. I tell him everything I can remember about yesterday. He walks to the empty wall on the left side of his desk and pushes on it. A part of the wall moves! He disappears into the room beyond the wall. Wow! Totally cool! I take a few steps and peek around the hidden door and peer inside. It’s a small room with no windows. There is a desk with several monitors hanging on the wall. None are turned on. On the back wall is I assume where he sleeps as a couch lines the wall and it has a pillow on one end and a blanket thrown over the other. He picks up two files then turns in my direction, I step back to let him by. He pushes the wall closed and it locks into place.
“What was that?” I ask in awe as he sits down behind his desk.
He takes a second to look up from the file he has about an inch away from his face. “That would be a room my father built; he used to store things of value to him in there. Supposedly it’s been proofed.”
“Proofed?”
“Yeah you know, water, fire…,” he says as he flips through another file. He sets the file down and leans back in his chair then rubs his hand across his jaw. “You know this just isn’t adding up, it’s almost too perfect.”
I flinch when Jessie pops up behind me. “Girl, don’t make me be the one to tell your momma that you aren’t coming to church because you haven’t even got your shower yet.”
I whip around and Jessie is leaning against the doorway smiling a dazzling smile and, of course, decked out in his church attire. “Oh crap, what time is it?”
“Just put a dress on and I’ll do something with your hair. You got a shower yesterday so you shouldn’t smell too bad.”
I start to leave the office but turn back to Tank. “Do you wanna come with us?”
“No,” he says too emphatically.
The abrupt “no” shocks me. I start to ask him to reconsider going but Jessie grabs my shoulders and turns me toward the hallway and gives me a little shove. “I’m not facing the wrath of June, not on a Sunday, at church, alone. Besides I need to leave right after and go talk to my parents. I’ll call you when I leave to go back to work.”
I stop midway down that hall. I feel like I was punched in the gut. I look over my shoulder and say, “I know I’m going to be the suckiest friend on the planet right now but please don’t leave me. These training weeks have been terrible already; I can’t imagine my life without you in it daily.”
He doesn’t say anything and actually I’m afraid to hear his answer. I know the bond his mother and he have is strong. They faced something together that I can’t even begin to imagine how it would feel, especially at the hands of somebody you’re supposed to trust completely. I know I’m lucky; my parents did spank me but they never left marks. I walk slowly down the stairs and this time I say a little prayer, “Just let him be okay. Whatever he chooses, and let me be okay too, please.”
****
Church went as church normally goes; we all sit in our designated pew and when it’s over Jessie hugs my parents and hugs me goodbye as he speaks softly in my ear, “I’ll call you when I’m on my way to work.” I nod and then let him go.
I join my parents for dinner on the grounds but my heart is heavy because of Jessie. I have unchristian like thoughts added to the mix when the boy my mother wanted me to meet at Bible study sits down across from me. I glare at my mother who sits beside me as she leans over and whispers, “I had nothing to do with this; now you just be polite and I’ll do the rest.” When she sat back I watch her in surprise. She talks the entire time. He can’t get a word in, and when he tries to ask me a question she answers it for me. Every now and then I have to look away to hide my smile. Who is this woman and what have you done with my mother?
After lunch is over my mother is on the cleanup committee so I volunteer to stay and help, I don’t want to go back to Tank's and just sit. There really isn’t anything else to do. When the vehicles thin out I spot my babysitter watching me from the parking lot. I wave; he opens his cruiser door and walks over to where we are. I can’t help but admire him as he fills out a uniform very, very well. “You want a piece of cake?” I offer.
“Sure, I could never turn down cake.” Officer Hunter smiles a brilliant smile.
“Sorry you have to sit out here with me on your off time. You should have come down and ate with us. We had way too much as you can see.”
“It’s all in a day’s work. Besides watching you isn’t that bad and I’m working 2nd shift today. There have been a lot of call ins. Apparently a stomach virus is going around.”
I nod, and then look at my watch. “What time do you have to be at work?”
“I have to report in at 2:45. My shift starts at 3:00.”
“You only have forty five minutes ‘til you have to be there, which means I need to hurry up and get back to Tank’s.”
He grins then finishes his last bite of cake. I take his plate and fork from him and throw them in the garbage. “Let me tell my parents goodbye and I’ll be on my way.”
He dips his head while he’s in the middle of taking a drink from an orange soda can.
I pull up in front of Tank's, wave bye to Hunter and then go inside. The front lobby is dimmer than usual but I’m relieved to see Cootie waiting for me in the lobby. I plop my purse down in one of the chairs. “You wanna play some go fish or something? Watch a movie?”
“Sure,” he says but something sounds off. He isn’t his normal chipper self.
“Something wrong?”
“I have a headache is all. This extra work is wearing on me I guess.”
I feel bad, I want to say some
thing but what could I say? I wish I could tell him to go home. I guess I can call Tank and see if he’ll come back or can get somebody else to sit with me. I have to fight the mother in me to not go feel his forehead for a fever. He’s not Jessie, I remind myself then say, “Hunter said there’s a stomach virus going around right now. Maybe you got that.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he mumbles.
Prima jumps up on one of the lobby chairs and I stare at her a second. “Prima! How’d you get up here?” I quickly pick her up to take her back downstairs. I make it to the door of the kitchen when my phone rings. I sigh and I double back. I grab my phone out of my purse. Tank reads across the screen, “Hey, I was just fixing to call you—”
“McKinsey, where are you?”
“At your office wh—”
“Who’s with you?” he asks, cutting me off.
“Cootie.”
I looks over at Cootie and he’s now standing, staring at me, his back hunched. His eyes are glazed over and I’m not sure he’s even really looking at me, I feel like he’s in some sort of trance. He rakes his hands through his hair then starts slapping himself on his forehead. He doesn’t look like himself at all anymore. “Cootie, are you alright?” I ask with a shaky whisper.
Tank shouts on the phone that’s still pressed to my ear, “Get to the safe room!”
I try to back up but my foot catches the corner of an end table causing me to stumble. Prima jumps out of my arms and scurries away. The phone flies the other direction. Cootie takes a step toward me and says, “We have to go now.”
My heart is racing, and I’m confused by his change in appearance and demeanor. My subconscious is screaming danger! I try to contain the fear in my voice and I reply, “Go where? I think we need to stay here. Tank's already on his way. Why don’t you go home and get some rest? You really look like you’re coming down with something.”
I take another step back toward the hallway. I know I’ll never make it to Tank's office or be able to figure out how to open the safe room. I’ve only seen him open it one time. And I don’t think I can make it to the front door either without him catching me. I only need a few more minutes for somebody to get here, which I realize I don’t have when he pulls out a long knife. “I’m going to need you to come with me. It’s the 46th day, time’s up.”
“Cootie list—”
“My name’s not COOTIE!” Spittle flies everywhere when he screams.
I take another step back but this time he lunges forward, I turn to run down the hallway but he catches me by my shoulder and I feel instant pain. “You’re. Going. The. Wrong. Way. Ma-kin-zey.” I can’t help it. Tears burst from my eyes. He pulls me back against his body, wrapping an arm around me and the hand that’s holding the knife runs it over my front down between my breasts. He holds me tight with that hand and wraps his other around my throat. “You’re too late; you already had your chance to run. I told you to run my little gingerbread.”
I reach up pulling at his hand trying to release his grip from my throat. He uses his weight to force me back to the kitchen. “This is all your fault; if only you would’ve left it alone,” he says. My eyes burn as I gasp for air, “Open the door,” he orders.
I try to reach up with both my hands to pull his hand away while I mouth, “I can’t breathe.”
He let loose a little and I suck in a big breath of air. My head is pounding and I reach for the door with a shaky hand and open it. The sun hurts my eyes but there sits the old gray car that Tank had taken a picture of that had been sitting in my driveway. It has been him the whole time but I don’t understand, I don’t understand why he’s doing this to me. I start thrashing around trying to break free knowing it’s my only chance to get away. He has to let me go to readjust his hold. He grabs my hair then presses the knife to my face. “I already told you, you already had your chance to run. Now come on.”
“No!” I scream over and over, and then beg, “Please don’t do this you don’t have to do this.”
He slowly runs the knife across my face then down to the back of my neck. I can hear the sirens in the distance. “Let. Her. Go,” comes from behind us. Cootie spins us sideways toward Tank who’s standing at the corner of the building, his gun locked in on Cootie. I want to crumble to the ground and cry, so thankful he’s here and I’m no longer alone. He made it. Tank frowns as he says, “It’s over now and you know it. Now let her go.” I can see a fire burning in Tank’s eyes. I try to focus only on him and not the knife that is now putting pressure at the back of my neck, sliding up my head. Tank begins walking toward us. He stops and says, “This is the last time I’m asking you, Let. Her. Go. You know how this ends. Either way you’re a dead man.” First the pressure of the knife falls away, and then his grip loosens a bit. I yank as hard as I can to break free, BANG!
I freeze but only for a second and that’s long enough for me to realize I’m free, I try running to Tank but I trip and fall. I begin to crawl. He jogs to me and scoops me up in his arms and hugs me tightly to him. I don’t know how long it is until everybody arrives. It feels like one second we are alone in the alley behind his building and the next people in uniforms are swarming everywhere. Tank and I sit in the middle of the back alley for a long time. People approach us and he wave them away. I don’t want to move. My head is tucked under his chin and his arms are wrapped around me and I am safe. He has saved me, like he said he would and he did. I raise my head and look into his eyes; he leans forward and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes and begin crying all over again. He begins whispering, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you—”
I lift my head again. This time I place my hand over his mouth. I search his eyes. I know he feels the same thing I’m feeling and I can’t help myself. I reach up and touch the long scar on his face, and run my finger the length of it. I pull his face to mine and plant a soft kiss on his lips and begin crying again. When I finally look him in the eyes again, I can see different emotions and they aren’t all good. I’m not ready for the rejection, not right now, so I ask, “It’s over isn’t it. Swear it’s all over.”
He pulls me to him again. “Yes. It’s over and you’re safe.” I nod and put my head back on his chest. He asks quietly, “Do you think you’re ready to talk to an officer yet? All you have to do is tell them what happened and then you can go home, or to your parents or even stay here until you’re ready.”
I reach up and rub my throat. The contact with my fingers against my skin burns. “Will you stay with me?” comes out a little desperate but I don’t care.
He kisses my head then rests his chin on top of it. “I have nowhere else to be.”
CHAPTER NINE
Harry, Jessie and Excuses
I sit curled up in the corner of Tank’s couch, Prima purring comfortably behind my head on the back of the couch. There are people everywhere, lots of noise and chatter, and I have to talk to more people than I expected. I have to tell my story over and over and it’s mentally exhausting. Even though I’ve said the words my brain still hasn’t fully wrapped around everything that has happened. I still have a lot of questions with one being, why me? But I’m too exhausted to ask and too heartbroken to hear the answers. All I want to do is to take a shower, go to a quiet room and try to sleep.
Tank squats down in front of me and lightly places his hand on my leg. I look down at it. The warmth feels nice. I look back up at him and his kind eyes stare at me. “Do you want me to call your parents?”
I continue to stare at him trying to think of what to say to my parents, but I can’t think of anything. The numbness overtakes my body. I nod and come up with something quick. “Tell them I’m okay and that I’ll call them in a little while, and tell them it’s all over now.”
He gives me a sympathetic nod, grabs my hand and squeezes it. Hunter comes and sits by me for a long time. We don’t speak but he seems as confused and devastated as I am. Except I imagine his are for diff
erent reasons. He wasn’t hunted or attacked like I was, but he was betrayed.
I close my eyes when I hear my mother’s voice. Of course she wouldn’t stay away, and I was a fool to think she would. When she descends the stairs and we lock eyes, I feel a rush of emotions sweep over me and suddenly I realize I’m glad she came. I immediately stand as she hurries down the stairs, we meet, hug, and cry together. I pull away. She rubs my cheek with her hand and then pulls me to her again, hugging me tighter.
After she practically pats my entire body making sure I really wasn’t injured, we sit down together on the couch. I put my head in her lap and she rubs my head and then runs her fingers through my hair. While doing this she speaks softly, “We’ll go get this fixed tomorrow okay?”
I roll back toward her to look at her, “Get what fixed?”
I see the realization in her eyes and she says. “Nothing honey, I was just talking out loud.”
I’m immediately alarmed. “Momma, what?”
I reach up and feel my hair. Then I shoot up when it feels different in the back where I can feel short pieces sticking up. “He cut my hair?” I start to panic, I jump up and run to the bathroom; I had already been to the bathroom and I know I look like holy hell but I didn’t think to look at the back of my head. I run my fingers through my hair while standing looking in the mirror. I see there is a huge chunk missing and there are shorter parts on the back of my head. I see my mother’s reflection in the mirror as she stands behind me with tears in her eyes, “Why didn’t anybody tell me?!” I murmur.
“Honey, they may not have known or realized.”
My temper starts to flare but my feelings are hurt worse. “How could they have not realized that I have a part of my head that has no hair?!”
My mother wipes her face as she firmly replies, “Your hair will replace itself, you cannot be replaced. I’m sure it wasn’t on the list of priorities with everything going on.”
“Momma, in a few hours everybody in this city is going to know what happened to me. You know how gossip flies in this town, and I can’t walk around with my hair like this!”