Guilty
Heidi J Thomas
© Heidi J Thomas (2013)
For my Nanna and Granddad,
Reunited this year, to be together forever
11-03-1926 – 16-08-2013 14-05-1924 – 06-01-2004
Love you both, forever
“A guilty man wishes only to be understood, because to be understood is to appear to be forgiven.”
Louis de Bernieres, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
TAKEN FROM NEWSPAPER REPORT, 15TH FEBRUARY 1990
DOUBLE MURDER HORROR
The bodies of a man and a woman were found last night in a flat in East London by police who were called to the scene following reports of shouting and noise coming from inside.
Both Natalie Edwards, 25 and 30 year old Jonathon Lewis, had been stabbed to death in the disturbance that took place in the former marital home Mrs Edwards had shared with her estranged husband, Daniel, also 25.
Mr Edwards was found holding his wife’s body, ‘screaming the place down.’ Their baby, Emma, was found unharmed in a bedroom.
Police have yet to release any further details, but have said Mr Edwards is ‘helping them with their enquiries.’
* * * *
TAKEN FROM NEWPAPER REPORT, 17TH FEBRUARY 1990
HUSBAND CHARGED IN DOUBLE MURDER TRAGEDY
Police have confirmed the husband of mother of one, Natalie Edwards, stabbed to death on Valentine’s Day, was today charged with her murder and with the murder of Jonathon Lewis.
It is believed Natalie, who had recently split with her husband, was beginning a relationship with Mr Lewis, the biological father of her baby daughter. Police believe an argument ensued when her husband discovered her new relationship and the true paternity of her child, and snapped, killing them both in a fit of jealous rage.
Daniel Edwards was, this morning, formally charged with two counts of murder. He is expected to appear before magistrates in the morning, where police will seek to ensure he is remanded into custody.
Baby Emma Edwards is in the care of social services and is said to be ‘doing well.’
* * * *
TAKEN FROM NEWSPAPER REPORT, 25TH FEBRUARY 1990
FUNERAL TAKES PLACE OF MURDERED MUM
The funeral of tragic knife victim Natalie Edwards took place today at St Catherine’s church in Chirton.
Natalie, 25, was stabbed to death at her home on Valentine’s Day, while her baby daughter lay just feet away in her bedroom.
Her estranged husband, Daniel, currently on remand awaiting trial for her murder, attended the funeral flanked by police officers. He laid a bouquet of red roses for her with a card with the simple words ‘I always loved you. I’m sorry.’ He was then taken back to prison.
Edwards sat at the back with his head down throughout the service, handcuffed to a guard and surrounded by angry friends of the deceased, who admit they are horrified by the idea that he could have killed her.
Her best friend, Lauren Christie, delivered a eulogy, describing Natalie as a ‘beautiful person inside and out’. She said she hoped justice would prevail and whoever was responsible would pay ‘the highest price’ for her death.
The trial of Daniel Edwards is expected to commence in the summer.
* * * *
TAKEN FROM NEWPAPER REPORTS, 2ND JUNE 1990
TRIAL BEGINS OF DANIEL EDWARDS
The long anticipated trial of Daniel Edwards began today at Chirton Crown Court, amidst tight security.
Edwards, 25, is accused, that on the night of February 14th, he murdered his estranged wife Natalie, and her lover, Jonathon Lewis. He has pleaded guilty to the murder of Mr Lewis, but NOT guilty to the murder of Natalie.
The jury heard how the police were called to the scene at 9.47pm, to find Mr Lewis already dead in the kitchen. Mr Edwards was lying on the living room floor with his wife in his arms. She was bleeding profusely from a single stab wound to her chest, but at that time she was still alive and conscious, though in considerable pain. Mr Edwards was crying and stroking her head, saying over and over he was sorry, he didn’t mean it. He was still holding the knife later confirmed as the murder weapon.
Paramedics were called to the scene and it took ‘some time’ for them to persuade Mr Edwards to let her go. She later died in hospital.
The prosecution alleges that Mr Edwards ‘flew into a jealous rage,’ following the discovery that his wife, from whom he’d recently split, was having a relationship with Mr Lewis, and the revelation that Mr Lewis was the biological father of baby Emma.
Daniel Edwards, about to break into a ‘promising career’ in boxing, and known in the amateur field as ‘The Destroyer’, was described by friends of the couple, as a man with a jealous streak and a fierce temper, and its claimed he lost his cool following a confrontation with the pair at his former home.
He insists Mr Lewis was not his wife’s partner, and that in fact Lewis had raped Mrs Edwards eleven months prior, resulting in the birth of Emma. He told police his wife told him this the day before her death, and that Mr Lewis had been harassing her ever since the rape, claiming she had consented to the intercourse and demanding access to the child.
When the three adults were together in the flat that night, Edwards claims Mr Lewis stabbed Natalie, and then Edwards overpowered Lewis, killing him with the same weapon, a six inch kitchen knife. A knife matching the description of the weapon was later found to be missing from a set in Mrs Edwards’ kitchen.
Where Mr Edwards admitted he ‘feels responsible’ for the death of his wife, who he says he loved ‘with all his heart’, he firmly denies stabbing her.
The jury were told details of the scene, described by one officer as, ‘like something out of a horror movie,’ with ‘blood up the walls.’ Mr Edwards was said to be screaming hysterically and begging for help for his wife, who lay dying in his arms.
The court also heard from Natalie’s best friend, Lauren Christie, who described the couple’s relationship as ‘stormy’. She told how, Natalie told her everything, and would have said if she had been raped. The girls had been best friends ‘since birth’ and worked together at Firestar, a club in the area.
She told how a week prior to her death, Natalie ‘expressed concern’ for her safety and the safety of her baby, saying she was in ‘big trouble’. She never elaborated on this, despite assurances from Miss Christie that they could stay with her, but said she would sort it out herself.
Miss Christie broke down when she described witnessing an argument between Mr and Mrs Edwards the night before her murder, at the club where they both worked. This argument was witnessed by over thirty people queuing outside, many of whom came forward to speak to police following an appeal for information. He was heard to call her a ‘lying b***ch’ and tell her if she didn’t start being straight with him he would ‘kill her.’ Natalie then slapped him and he hit her back. She walked away and he followed her, forcing her into his car.
Miss Christie said she would wish for the rest of her life that she had called the police then, as she had a ‘gut feeling something was going to kick off.’
Defending Daniel Edwards, Mr James Smith asked Miss Christie if Mrs Edwards had ever mentioned her relationship with Mr Lewis, or the fact that he was the biological father of baby Emma. She conceded that she had not. He then asked her if it were not then possible, that she had not told her she had been raped, and that the fear for her safety was a fear of Jonathon Lewis, not the accused Daniel Edwards.
She was unable to offer an explanation.
Daniel Edwards is currently on 24 hour suicide watch at HMP Chirton, and appeared to be unwell in court. He spoke quietly and had to be asked several times to speak up.
His mother, 52 year old Robyn Edwards, who did not wish to comment on her way out of cour
t, continues to support her son at the trial, which continues tomorrow.
* * * *
TAKEN FROM NEWSPAPER REPORTS, 26TH JUNE 1990
HUSBANDS SHOCK U-TURN – ADMITS MURDER
Day 24 of the trial of Daniel Edwards began today with a shock admission of guilt from the accused.
Those in the courtroom were stunned when Edwards stood up in the middle of proceedings, and announced to the judge that he WAS, in fact, responsible for his wife’s murder. It appeared even his own lawyer did not know of his intention to change his plea.
He was asked if he was aware of the implications of his words, to which he replied that he was. He said his wife’s blood was on his hands and that she was dead because of him. He then insisted on changing his plea.
Court was adjourned and will reconvene in two weeks for sentencing.
There were cheers from the public gallery from friends of the deceased, her best friend shouting out ‘about time too!’ as he was led away.
Mr Edwards’s mother, Robyn, said on the court steps,
“Danny is a spirited, passionate young man, who loved Natalie and Emma with all his heart. Although their marriage was not without its problems, I do not believe for a second that he could have killed her, and as such, I am heartbroken by his admission of guilt in court today. I hope I can speak to him soon, and find out why he has done this to himself.”
* * * *
TAKEN FROM NEWSPAPER REPORTS, 10TH JULY 1990
DANIEL EDWARDS SENTENCED
Double murderer Daniel Edwards was behind bars tonight, beginning a life sentence, after appearing in court this morning for sentencing.
Judge Matthew McElroy described Edwards, 25, who waited until half way through his trial to plead guilty, as ‘cold, calculating and brutal’, robbing an innocent baby of her mother and father, through ‘nothing more than pure jealousy.’
He described the murders, particularly that of Jonathon Lewis, as a ‘relentless and sickening display of rage and violence.’
Edwards did not respond as he was given life, with a recommendation that he serve at least eighteen years before being eligible for parole. The judge stated that the sentence was so high, to reflect his unwillingness to admit full guilt from the start.
“Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.”
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, (‘On Death and Dying’1969)
Prologue
3RD JULY 2007
It was a bright, scorching hot summer day. In the city park by the university, scores of people sat stretched out on blankets enjoying the day. Mothers pushed their children on the swings in the little play area beside the ice cream van, with the queue stretching around the corner. Under a tall oak tree, some students had started a makeshift barbeque, music blasting from their stereo as they chatted and laughed together. An impromptu football match attracted a few girls, watching the shirtless boys running around, giggling amongst themselves as they admired the view. It was a perfect day, not a cloud in the sky, and everyone seemed to be caught up in the carefree atmosphere. Even the office workers who came here every lunch time had a cheerier disposition than usual, ties and suit jackets discarded, smiling along with everyone else.
None of this meant a thing to Danny Edwards. That world, and everything in it, did not penetrate into his grey, empty, lifeless excuse of an existence, inside the walls of HMP Chirton. It was a world he had been forced to leave behind him seventeen years previously, along with any sense of self-worth, or the humour, energy, and passion that had once been at the core of his personality.
Pre-prison Danny Edwards would have been in the middle of all the fun, pushing Emma on the swings, turning his head sideways occasionally to plant a swift, loving kiss on Natalie’s painted red lips. She would be right by his side, whispering in his ear how sexy he looked in just his shorts, what she was going to do to him when they got home, and various other things that were sending his thoughts into overdrive, causing him to fight an overwhelming desire to just grab her and push his tongue into her mouth right here in the middle of all the people, and to hell with who was watching. Things that made him want to put his hands on her thighs, barely covered by her hot pants, slide his left hand up to the tattoo that sat there, the flames emblazoned with their initials.
It was a scene he had dreamt a thousand times in the first year or so of his sentence, but that was all it had ever been – a fantasy. They had never had that day in the sunshine on the park, the family day out, the chance to be together, the three of them, watching their daughter grow frighteningly fast from a baby, to a toddler and beyond, never had that happy time that most new parents savoured. The dream itself was a wonderful one, but woke him frequently at just the wrong moment, just as he turned to kiss her properly, just as his lips were about to touch hers, his hands about to run through her wild red hair, as red as the flames on her tattoo. He would wake, tears streaming from his eyes as he realised, over and over again, that it was a dream, and one that would never come true.
She was gone. Forever gone, never to be in his life ever again. As dead as his cold, shattered heart had become, as brick by brick he built a wall up around it, gradually transforming himself into the empty, robotic man he was now.
Post-prison Danny was dead. As dead as Natalie, as though the knife had gone through him, as well as his wife’s rib cage, puncturing a lung and sucking the very life out of her at the tender age of twenty five.
His life had ended with hers, grinding to a halt the very first time he was pushed into a cell and the door closed and locked behind him.
The glorious sunshine all those people enjoyed did not filter into this life, this place. The sunshine, the happy vibes it gave off, the fun and joy of summertime did not seep into the walls of this fortress of grey stone, of bars and barbed wire that held him prisoner, only the heat did, the intense, dry heat, stifling and stagnant with the stench of misery and despair. Everything else did not penetrate its perimeters, as though even nature itself recoiled in horror and disgust at what lay within.
He ran as he did every day at this time, had done every day for seventeen years. He ran with his eyes closed, trying to picture himself running through fields of tall, lush green grass, a now six or seven year old Emma chasing him, laughing hysterically at him, trying to catch up to him, until they both fell to the ground and he grabbed her, scooping her into his arms and tossing her into the air with ease, catching her in his strong arms. The walls he built were strong, keeping his emotions tightly hidden away inside an impenetrable exterior of proverbial steel, but inside, he still felt what his face never showed. An ache, a grief and heartbreak he knew would never heal. And why should it? He didn’t deserve the release of peace within.
Behind him the only window in the gym let in little light but plenty of stifling warmth. The air conditioning worked about as well as the heating in the winter.
Beads of sweat stuck to his forehead, his dark wavy hair bouncing against his forehead as he ran on the manual treadmill, his heart thumping in his chest in protest as he carried on long past the point of exhaustion, working through each wave of stitch, punishing himself over and over, day after day.
His black joggers sat loosely on his hips, his finely toned muscles rippling across his broad chest, his back, and his tattooed arms, sweat dripping from every pore of his body, soaking his vest that stuck to him like a second skin.
His blue eyes, once alive with mischief, eyes that once communicated his emotions more than any words that had ever passed his lips, were now glassy, empty, as he stared straight ahead at the bland, grey wall in front of him. Physical exercise was his therapy, and the only thing that kept him from losing his mind completely. It was the only part of pre-prison Danny that still existed, everything else was lost, and he would never get it back. Without them, he didn’t want it back.
As well as the dreams he is still plagued with nightmares.
The nightmares. Horrible. Gut-wrenching. Vivid.
Blood everywhere
, spattered across the walls, the black shiny kitchen units, the cooker and the washing machine, collecting in great red pools all around him. Johnny Lewis lay dead at his feet, lifeless, punched with stab holes all over his body, his once white shirt now bright red.
Silence, almost complete silence and then slowly the sounds seem to return one by one. Emma crying quietly in the bedroom. The clock ticking seems loud, too loud, and then there’s the only other God-awful sound of Natalie’s breathing. Sharp, slow rasping breaths that sound too forced, laboured as she drowns from the inside out.
He scrambles to his feet, slipping on the blood and half crawls to her side. She has managed to prop herself up against the wall, a hand to her chest, blood seeping through her fingers, she looks at him with wide, terrified eyes, fighting for every single breath…
“Danny…”
He snapped back to the now, and glanced to his side, to find his wing governor, Mr Marriott regarding him intently. He slowed to a jog but didn’t stop, just nodded respectfully.
“Sir..?”
“I have some news for you. I had a phone call this morning.”
Danny frowned, his immediate thought his mother, and the possibility that something had happened to her. “Oh…?”
“Yes, a request from someone who wondered if it would be possible to visit you.”
He narrowed his eyes further, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. “Who..?”
“A lady named…” he glanced at a piece of paper in his hand. “Kate Marshall.”
Danny shrugged disinterestedly. “Never heard of her, she has the wrong man.”
“That’s what I thought but she seemed pretty sure. Used your full name, and knows why you’re here and whatnot. I told her I would run it by you, told her you don’t do visits but she was very insistent that she wanted to come and see you. So…what do I tell her?”
“Tell her no, sir. If I haven’t let my own mother come here, I sure as hell aint gonna waste my time on a complete stranger.”
Guilty Page 1