by Sarah Cole
“I think you’re right. You get Preston to get the photographers, and have Gigi and Leah ransack the supply room. One of us will have to call the messengers. I’ll call the printers, and get Alex, Holly, and anyone else on all the social media. Do you want to go live too?” she asks.
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I’ll have to run home to grab the thing though.” I say, and she fights the megawatt smile that’s threatening to make its debut for the first time in a few days.
“Alright, let’s do this!” she says, picking up her phone and I stand to rally the troops. I’m going to get my guy!
HUNTER:
“She doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve tried calling her but it just got answered then hung up immediately. I’ve tried repeatedly, but now it just goes straight to voicemail. I’ve left four messages.” I hand Tanner’s phone back to him, and lay my head against the headrest. I don’t really blame her after I barged into her work and made a scene. I embarrassed her. Hell, I embarrassed myself.
“We’ve got a ten twenty-nine Q, wait a ten thirty- nine G, what?” Then there’s static as Patty one of our favorite dispatchers tries to relay an incident. “I’m sorry, guys. I have no idea what’s going on. We’ve got multiple reports of vandalism in various parts of the city with flyers displaying a picture of a girl dressed up as a…. oh, a well, a vagina.” She stumbles over the words, clearly embarrassed. “The nearest report to your location is at the corner of third and east sixtieth.
“Ten four, Patty. We’re in route. Two blocks.” I report back and Tanner switches on the lights and siren just to cut through traffic.
“Did she say some flyers of a girl dressed like a vagina?” Tanner asks.
I nod yes.
“You don’t think…?” he trails off.
“No idea, but I wouldn’t put it past her.” I chuckle. When we pull up outside, there’s a group of people talking to Officer Brooks and Reynolds who beat us to the scene.
“What’s going on?” Tanner asks as we step out of the car.
Reynolds holds up his hand, and we hear the elderly gentleman recount what happened. “And, and there were just bike messengers throwing these into the streets, but my friend Kathy had the same thing. She owns a shop over on second, but she said there were some young ladies sticking these horrendous things to everything with bright pink duct tape. Can you believe that?! I find it just appalling. This is a busy part of the city. And there are women and children… perverts even! Don’t feed the perverts more perversion!” the old firecracker is getting riled up.
“Sir, just calm down. It will be ok. It’s only paper and can easily be cleaned up. As for the nature of these… uh…” Brooks chuckles, looking down at the flyer in his hands before continuing, “flyers? Well, they certainly aren’t very child friendly, but I’m sure women and men alike are mature enough to be familiarized…” he clears his throat and hands Tanner and I the paper he’s holding.
I take it from him and a loud laugh erupts from Tanner as we both take in what’s on the sheet of paper. In the middle of it is a picture of Verity wearing her giant vagina costume and her best pouty face. The bold type at the top reads – Lost Her Love and Her Phone. Along the bottom there’s a detailed link to Trend’s article retraction and details on where to meet her. Tomorrow morning at seven in the morning at Gapstow Bridge in Central Park – it specifies that she’ll be the one wearing this fabulous outfit so I can’t miss her. I don’t think I could miss her in a crowd of a million, because she’s the only person I see.
“These bitches are crazy.” Tanner says to me under his breath.
“Crazy effective.” I laugh.
“I guess that explains why she hasn’t been answering your phone calls.”
I laugh again. “That’s her third phone since Thanksgiving.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you two.”
chapter 19
LESSON #19: IT’S OK TO BE A LITTLE CRAZY.
VERITY:
I’m just a girl, standing on a bridge, dressed like a hoo-ha, asking Mother Nature for it to be thirty degrees warmer. I’m also a girl standing on a bridge in the middle of Central Park, being hard core stared at by at least four hundred people and two news crews. No big deal. Of course Tally, Gigi, and a few of my other co-workers are standing front and center live streaming it all- along with a few hundred other people. Can you say awkward?
I check my watch again bouncing on my toes, trying to keep warm. Hunter’s fifteen minutes late, and I turn in place trying to spot him, but no luck. All I see is Tanner. Well, Tanner and a stuffed horse? I hear Tally screech my name, and just as I spin around to figure out what she’s yelling about now, I die. Just kidding. I don’t die, but I do get run over by a super serious bicyclist. He collides with the puffy ruffles on the right side of my costume, sending me ass over elbow to the ground. I land hard, knocking the wind out of me and cracking my head against the stone path. I’m trying to get my bearings when I hear heavy footfalls approaching.
“Baby, are you ok?” I hear Hunter’s warm, concerned voice, but when I look up, I’m not seeing him. It’s that damn horse again.
“Why are you a horse? Am I dreaming? Is this one of those hallucinations like a coma patient has in the movies?”
The fuzzy hands leave my face and pretty soon I’m looking into Hunter’s eyes, his hair disheveled and messy. “I’m not a horse. I’m a donkey. Are you ok, babe? You hit the ground really hard.”
I can’t really focus on his questions right now because I’m still super stuck on the donkey outfit. “Donkey? Like a jackass?” I smile.
He lets out a warm, soft chuckle. “Exactly like a jackass.”
He helps me sit up as best as he can, and pulls me into his chest as we sit on the cold ground. Off to the side I see Tanner helping the bicyclist back onto his bike, and curious eyes still filming us with cell phones. “I’m a jackass. I’m so sorry, Verity. I’m so fucking embarrassed that I stormed into your office like that. I’m sorry I embarrassed you. It’s not right, and I just saw that story typed up, and I never would have thought that you didn’t actually write it. I was so upset babe. I just don’t have words. I thought it was just some elaborate game or cruel way of breaking it off with me…”
“Hunter.” I silence him and stand up, holding my hands out to him. He takes them and stands with me, pulling me close again. I wince at the sharp pain it causes, but I don’t care so long as he keeps hugging me. I continue, “It’s alright. You had every right to think that I wrote that. I mean in hindsight, Ashley told me she’d fix any mistakes and edit it for me, so I should have checked before I told you to read it. I didn’t think she’d do that. I just want you to know that everything I wrote in my article is true.”
“Is it?” he asks, rubbing his nose against mine.
“Yep.”
“Let me hear you say it, baby.”
“I love you, Hunter Williams, and I am one hundred percent all in with you from now until forever.”
He brushes the hair from my forehead and tucks it back into my costume. “I love you too. More than you can imagine, sweet girl. I’m not letting you go again. Let’s make a deal. From now on when one of us has a problem with something, let’s communicate with each other before getting angry.”
“Deal.” I agree.
“And can I just ask one more question?”
“Shoot.”
“Why are there hundreds of people and news crews here?”
“Good question. I think those flyers may have something to do with it. I almost thought you weren’t going to show up. That would have been super embarrassing.” I say and he laughs.
“It’s funny you said that, because those flyers are why we were late getting here. Well, that and the fact that I couldn’t get my hooves to stay on.”
I laugh, “What do you mean?”
“I had to do a write up to make sure that no vandalism charges were filed against you guys for that stunt.”
; I feel my cheeks pink at that. “I’m sorry, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t worth it. It was Tally’s idea.” I accuse.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you guys.” He laughs again.
“Kiss her already!!!” some one shouts from the crowd. Before we know it, the crowd has erupted in chants of, “Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!”
“Come here, you.” Hunter grabs me around the small of my back and hauls me to his chest so my feet are lifted off the ground. He doesn’t waste any time sealing his lips over mine, erasing all of the hurt and confusion of the past few days, and promising me forever at the same time.
“I love you, Hunter.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of hearing you say that.”
“Good, because I’m not ever going to stop saying it.”
He kisses me again, and the crowd cheers. I’m probably going to regret this choice of outfit when this airs on the news.
EPILOGUE
One Year Later…Valentine’s Day
Lesson # 20: Just order the champagne.
VERITY:
“This place is really nice, babe. How’d you manage to get a table here?” I ask Hunter, as he excuses the waiter so he can tuck my chair in himself.
“Well, when I called for last Valentine’s Day, that didn’t work out too well. They just laughed, so I made a reservation for this year.” He smiles a boyish smile and it’s infectious.
“Smart thinking.” I tap my head, and he winks.
“Good evening, Madame, Monsieur. May I interest you in some complimentary champagne this evening?” the waiter asks in heavily accented English.
“Definitely!” Hunter gushes, making a big show of it.
“Actually, may I please have a glass of the house red wine? Champagne tends to give me a headache.” I say, and I don’t miss the slightly panicked look the waiter gives Hunter.
“Monsieur?” the waiter asks Hunter for permission.
Hunter looks pale and conflicted about this. I narrow my eyes at him when he just ignores my request.
“Monsieur?” the waiter asks again.
“It’s alright, sir. I can answer for myself. May I please have a red wine?”
“Monsieur?” the waiter asks again. Really? Is this man so misogynistic that he believes a woman is incapable of making a decision?
Hunter gives me a pleading look and loosens his tie a little bit, and adjusts his suit coat. He looks extremely uncomfortable as he takes another second to scrub his hands down his face.
He turns slightly to the waiter and says, “Just give my girl what she wants. We’ll be here all night, and believe me in the end, she’ll wear you down anyways.”
The waiter shakes his head with an exaggerated shrug, as if to say, “If you say so…” He turns to pour us our respective drinks from the cart.
I smile at Hunter, but he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack. He’s just a little sweaty and breathing a little heavy. I really hope those oysters we had earlier weren’t bad… but I feel ok.
“You ok, baby?” I ask, resting my hand against his forearm.
He takes covers my hand with his own and smiles back. “Yeah. Never better. You look really pretty tonight.”
“Thank you. You clean up pretty nice yourself.” I say, taking in his dark tailored suit and his perfectly styled hair. He looks like he should be modelling that suit, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.
I chose my outfit very carefully tonight. A black satin slip dress with black lace overlay and a hand beaded neckline and straps, paired with a pair of bright pink suede pumps with matching embellishments. I kept my hair and makeup simple with a loose chignon and a deep smoky eye, and nude lip. Call me crazy, but I had this weird hunch that tonight was the night that Hunter was going to pop the question. But now… I’m just not quite so sure. He seems too calm and collected. But nonetheless, whether tonight is the night or not, I wanted to look pretty for him. I know it really doesn’t matter, because somehow, he still finds me attractive, even when I’m wearing holey sweatpants and a stained t-shirt. That’s real love, folks!
Hunter looks at me with sparkling eyes full of love, and he raises his glass towards me for a toast. “To a lifetime full of love, laughter, understanding and happiness.”
I hold my glass up and clink it against his. “Cheers!”
He takes a drink of his champagne and eyes me carefully.
“Aren’t you going to take a drink?” he asks impatiently.
“Jeeze, yes! We toasted no more than four seconds ago. You happy?” I ask, as I raise my glass and take a hearty gulp of the smooth red wine. Except it doesn’t go down so smooth when something clanks against my teeth. Startled, I inhale sharply, sucking in the liquid and whatever was in my glass.
Whatever it is gets lodged in my throat as I struggle to breathe, choking on it, but it won’t move one way or the other.
My eyes meet Hunter’s wide, horrified eyes as he leaps up from his seat, sending water goblets and silverware flying. “Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! Damnit, baby!” he yells, as every single eye in the restaurant finds us and the scene we are creating. Yes, I’m clearly in the clutches of death, and I still manage to notice how embarrassing this is.
Hunter circles my midsection from behind and proceeds to give me the Heimlich maneuver right here in the middle of this prestigious, five-star restaurant. It hurts like a motherfucker, but with one last forceful pump of his arms, the foreign object is dislodged from my throat and drops to the floor, bouncing out of site under the table.
Tears are streaming out of my eyeballs, and my throat feels like someone just rammed a firehose down it, but I think I’m ok. Meanwhile, Hunter is crawling around on the floor like a mad man.
“Hunter!” I hiss and he just continues to crawl around under the table.
“Hunter!” I squeak out this time, trying to use my voice, and avoid the shocked stares of the other guests.
Suddenly he stops and stands up on his knees brushing something off that I can’t see. He turns towards where I’m standing awkwardly, and brings his other knee up, so he’s kneeling in front of me with a shit eating grin.
He holds out a sparkling two carats, diamond solitaire with a sparkling band. “Baby, would now be a terrible time to ask you to marry me?”
I feel like I might faint. “I should have just had the champagne.”
He laughs, and scoots a little closer. He slips the ring on my finger and stands so we’re chest to chest. He calls it our heart to heart position for talking. He’s so incredibly corny.
“Verity, sweetheart. I love you. I love our life together, and I want to make lots of babies with you. Will you please marry me?”
“Well, duh. Yeah…” I croak out, sounding like a ninety year old chain smoker, and he smashes his lips to mine and dips me backwards until we both lose our balance and crash to the floor.
“We’re so getting kicked out.” Hunter says into my ear as the restaurant manager and security pulls him off of me.
“That’s alright. I had an appointment with Jang-Li today!” I giggle and Hunter pulls me up with him.
“Hell yeah, baby!” He grabs me, kissing the side of my head as we are escorted towards the exit.
THE END…FOR NOW.
note from the author
This book was so much fun. In my other works, I feel like you get bits and pieces of me and my more serious side, but this one is all of my goofiness. It isn’t any secret that I love to laugh, and I always knew I wanted to write a comedy, but I didn’t expect it to happen so organically.
I got the idea around the time of the election when women’s rights were being heavily focused on in the media. I saw so many wonderful and inspiring women come together for a cause, but I also saw a lot of craziness, and I was wondering what it would have been like to be down there in the trenches with those women. Verity’s women’s march scene is kind of what I’d imagine in my world! Haha. From that idea alone, the story just grew and grew, and to b
e honest, I didn’t really start with a plot in mind. I just started writing.
I would like to issue a HUGE thank you to my fellow author and amazing friend, Mystique Roberts! Without her the Jang-Li waxing scene would have never been a thing! Haha.
I also want to shout a huge thank you to my readers and friends that have supported my journey into this amazing world of writing, and have given me such positive feedback. I write because I love to, but hearing that you love reading these stories as much as I love writing them makes it so worth it in the end. So, thank you!
I hope you all got a good lighthearted laugh from this one like I did. Stay tuned for more stories from this group of characters!
As always, thank you again for your support. I can’t wait to share more of me with you!
XO-
Sarah
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Cole is a lover of words and books in general. Her love of writing was discovered after she began writing her first novel just for fun. She grew up with her nose in a book and a story in her heart, and finally decided to put her pen to paper. Once she did, there was no turning back. She is the author of the Fading to Light Duet, and has a handful of other projects in the works.
Sarah graduated with a Business Management degree from Millikin University, and is a Midwestern girl through and through. A wife and a mother to a young daughter, she has her hands full, but wouldn't have it any other way.
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